Let’s talk about the signs a guy doesn’t like you.

I always feel a little bad when I write articles like this because I don’t want to be the one who crushes someone’s hopes and dreams. There is something magical about meeting a guy you like … and discovering he likes you back.

Conversely, it can be absolutely devastating to learn a guy you like doesn’t like you. It is also devastating to waste months, or maybe years, of your life, holding onto hope that he does like you and he’ll realize it and ask you out any day now.

All of us have a habit of seeing what we want to see. Of holding onto the signs that indicate reality is as we want it to be, no matter how minute those signs may be. I lived in a fantasy land for far too long and it didn’t do me any favors. It was only when I took off the rose-colored glasses and looked at things through an objective lens that I could see the truth.

And that’s the gift I want to give to you with this article… the gift of clarity and truth. So here we go. Let’s talk about the biggest signs he doesn’t like you.

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“You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince!”

How many times has that phrase been cheerfully offered after a bad date (or three)? Dating can be so stressful that it sometimes feels like you’re taking a year off of your life every time you put yourself out there. There may be many times when you’re tempted to quit. Times when you want to just call the whole thing off, where you resign yourself to the fact that maybe you’ll just end up alone.

You may commiserate with your single friends by swapping dating horror stories. While these can be comical when told to an audience afterward, living through them is boring, at best. At worst – it’s frightening and sometimes downright torturous.

MORE: The Truth About Playing Games and the Chase

We come up with positive clichés to pass around in the hopes of making the exhausting struggle seem commonplace. Sometimes this works, and other times it just feels more depressing.

But the truth is, there is a way to make dating more enjoyable and to gain from the experience, rather than feeling like you’re losing your dignity and your mind. With the right tips and the right things to keep in mind, you can actually learn a lot about yourself, and maybe even find that special someone.

Here are some tips for navigating modern dating.

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There’s this guy at work that was pursuing me since last November. We’re so similar that it is scary. He used to joke that I was his twin who was separated at birth or his future wife.  It started as just a joke and then I think he actually developed feelings for me and started asking me out. I was hesitant because I have dated guys at work before and it’s always gone sour. He told me “Life is what it is and things happen for a reason. You just haven’t met the right person.” Anyway, he kept pursuing me an I finally gave in and we went on out first date in March.

It was lots of fun and I never really felt I connected with someone like this before. I didn’t feel like I had to impress him, I was myself.  We were seeing each other like that for about two months and then we slept together. I made the mistake of asking him if there was a future for us. I wasn’t asking for a relationship, I just wanted to know that there could be because I dated this other guy for two and half years and he never committed. Anyway, this new guy also asked me to do something in the bedroom and I said no.

After that he started to become distant and when I confronted him about it he said that I did two things that turned him off. The first was talking about having relationship too soon and the other was that ‘you never say no in the bedroom.’ I told him that I understand that he felt this way but I am not a mind reader, and you should tell me or tell the person you are with when you are turned off. He told me “it was a no brainer.”

Read on for the rest of this question and our guy’s response after the jump [continue reading…]