My relationship started out mushy and sweet with tons of texting, but recently slowed way down. I hate to admit it but I did let myself seem a little needy, unintentionally of course. He straight out told me “I don’t know what I want right now.. I just got out of something that was messy.. all I did was work and see her.. but I wasn’t lying about how I feel about you…”

I was a little confused so I played it cool and told him to just relax and not to put pressure on what we are. It’s best if we just go with the flow and see what happens. Two days later he texted me, just seeing what was up, and we had a short, simple, normal conversation.

So my question is, did I save face after being needy by playing it cool? And if so, is it the right move to not contact him…?

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and eight months.  I knew he never wanted to get married but assumed we would eventually live together.

He now tells me that he doesn’t want to live together. He likes living alone.

I am so heartbroken. It feels like I don’t have a future together. He seems to put himself and friends first before me. He tells me he loves me always and forever. I am confused. Do I stay with the man I love more than anything in this world?  What do I do if my boyfriend doesn’t want to move-in together?

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Summer is a glorious time. The sun is shining, trees are blooming and perpetual cold weather-induced frowns slowly make the climb to blissful smile. However, it’s also a million degrees and feeling sexy and beautiful when you’re sweaty and sticky and icky can be near impossible!

Fear not. You can stay cool and look hot even in the face of the most sweltering conditions. Just follow these top tricks of the trade. [continue reading…]

I have a terrible suspicion that my boyfriend is cheating on me. We’ve been together for a year and a half now and up until recently I’ve never worried.  However, over the past two months he’s gone on three business trips for a week at a time.  And over the past two weeks, he’s been texting with some girl and we’ve been having much less sex than we used to. His excuse has been that he’s just “too tired” for sex.

This is really worrying me and I want to know how to tell if my boyfriend is cheating on me or signs that my boyfriend is cheating (or about to cheat).  I need to know what’s happening and what to do now.

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Over the years I’ve been in my fair share of relationships. I’ve also been what felt like the third party in many of my friends’ relationships as I used my years of wisdom to help them through every step of their relationships. There is one key ingredient that will determine the success, or failure, of a relationship. When I look back at the times when I’ve struggled and felt tortured trying to figure out why guys act the way they do, and when I see my friends in similar predicaments, one major and fundamental issue is invariably at the heart of the matter.

Eric and I dish out a lot of relationship advice on this site. We help you understand why that guy who seemed so into you at first is suddenly acting shady or why the guy that acts like you’re boyfriend won’t just call you his girlfriend. While we’re happy to supply you with these explanations, we’d be remiss if we didn’t cover one fundamental truth about relationships: you will never find love with another until you find it within yourself.

I know, it’s one of those facts that makes you roll your eyes but in truth, it makes all the difference in the world. When you love yourself, you don’t care why he’s being shady and blowing you off or why he won’t just put a label on it because you know your worth and your value. You won’t even need to call up your loyal girlfriends and listen to them tell you that you can do so much better than him because it’s a freakin’ given! [continue reading…]

The days of hiding behind piles of cozy layers are far behind us. Summer is here and the motivation to get killer bikini-worthy abs is at an all-time high. I am a huge yoga proponent and am continually amazed by how noticeably toned I become after only a few sessions. Yoga doesn’t only target superficial abdominals, but the deeper core muscles that are often neglected with traditional exercises.

To help you get sculpted summer abs, YogaWorks instructor Sadie Nardini has shared three quick poses designed to reach all six abdominal muscles and effectively transform and firm your mid-section. [continue reading…]

I am married and have been having an affair with a married man for over a month now. We get together about once every week or two, and every visit consists of sex. I told him I want to do something else but he never really acknowledged me. I enjoy the sex, he makes sure I enjoy myself and pleasures first every time, but its hard to figure out if I am a booty call or not.

He texts and calls me in-between visits and we have good conversations. How do I convince him I’m worth more than sex? And should I confront him on my feelings?

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I’ve been dating this guy for 8 months, the first 4 were great.  When things started to go bad between us, he claimed he needed space because there were situations/demons he was fighting, and it wasn’t fair to drag me in. However, we kept spending time together, texting, etc., just not as frequently.

He constantly tells me he is difficult, crazy and/or complicated. He says we want different things (I want to get married and have kids one day, he doesn’t want to do that again), and when he says that, I calmly tell him that I will walk away. But then he freaks out and says he can’t lose me, he doesn’t want anyone else to have me, why can’t we take our relationship one day at a time (he’s the one who constantly looks into the future, not me), I’m giving up on him, etc. He says I can see other people, but then tells me he doesn’t want me to. He is a total contradiction.

I do love him, and I would like it to work, but is he playing me? And is he crazy enough that I should run screaming, or is this something I can salvage if I’M crazy enough to try?
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The more distant I act, the more he’s interested!  I want to be more “coupley” with him, but the more I do that the more he backs off, and the more I back off the more he comes to me.

How do I gradually get closer and more “coupley” without scaring him off?

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I’ve been friends with this guy for nearly two years now and I’ve been completely hung up on him for about eleven months. For the majority of that time he was in a relationship that had been going on for a while, but about three months ago he ended it. A while later, we had a talk about our feelings for each other and he said that he wanted a relationship with me but that he needed a little time to get over what was quite a messy break-up (especially since his ex spread a few not-so-nice rumors about me and him following it).

After the talk we got a lot closer and it felt like we were really going somewhere. However, that all changed when we went on holiday with a group of friends recently and it felt like he started to pull away big time. He acted extremely distant towards me for the whole week and he’s been very flirty with a friend of mine who is actually in a relationship and trying to help me get to the bottom of all this.  Everyone on the trip expected something to happen between us whilst away and I don’t know if this freaked him out or something, but since then we haven’t been the same together. And now he’s saying that he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone until the next Uni year, which isn’t until September. He’s also said that I’m free to do as I wish with any other guys since he doesn’t think it’s fair for me to have to ‘stick to any rules’.

The problem I’m having is understanding where he’s coming from. Is he relationship-shy because of his messy break-up? Did things get too real for him on the trip? Or, are all of these excuses his way of telling me that, when it comes down to it, he doesn’t actually want to be in a relationship with me? [continue reading…]

The following is a scenario that will sound familiar to more than a few of you. You’re at a bar, you make eye contact with a cute guy, he has that undeniable ‘I think you’re really hot’ look in his eye, but he doesn’t come over and talk to you. You catch his gaze a few more times throughout the night, but still nada.

There are dozens of reasons why he may not approach but for the most part, it’s probably due to the signals you’re giving out and those signals are probably saying “not interested.” I Personally tend to get a little shy when it comes to guys I’m instantly attracted to and will look away, thinking I’m being cute and coy. In reality, I’m just being confusing.

I can’t imagine it’s easy for guys to muster the strength to go talk to girls. While I’m all for taking the initiative, it’s pretty universally understood that if a guy is interested, he’ll make a move. However, there are a lot of factors that might derail this first move and most of them have nothing to do with the way you look.

Did you ever notice that when you and your girl friends go out looking for guys, everyone usually end up empty handed whereas when you go out casually just to have fun, guys start flocking from every which way? When it comes to being more approachable, factors such as you’re attitude, stance, the company you keep, your expression, your energy and so on can’t be overlooked.

To end the confusion, I asked Eric, our beloved Ask a Guy, to break it down and explain what it is that makes a girl both approachable and attractive to guys.

And without further adieu, here it is:

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I dated a guy for seven months, on and off, never official although we both claimed to be monogamous.  He kept saying he needed to get his life sorted out and would only be around when he needed me.

Eventually I gave up and dumped him which blew up into a huge fight where I said plenty that I regret now.  I found out he was dating another girl while we were “together” (he lied). A month later now, he sends me text messages like “I wish you weren’t crazy :(“.  I made a mistake.  I want him back.

But why is he sending me these messages if he seriously thinks I am crazy, when HE is the one who CHEATED and LIED?  Does he just want me to beg?

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I have been dating this one guy for about two years now, off and on. When we first started dating, he chased after me and took me out to expensive dinners and such. In the beginning, I told him that I didn’t want a relationship and after that its all been downhill.

We do date other people but for some reason we always come back to each other and date off and on. He doesn’t call unless I call him first and then he starts the conversion about us hanging out and making plans. I haven’t talked about a relationship with him for a couple years now but I’m sick and tired of this off and on thing. We don’t break up or anything we just loose touch and then reconnect somehow.

His friends have made comments to my friends like “they are probably gonna end up together.” Does that seem like that he talks about me to his friends? What can I do to take this to another level? Should I just outright talk to the guy? I don’t want to scare him off. And if he says that he doesn’t know how he feels or ‘lets see where this goes,’ does that mean he isn’t interested? After two years a guy should know.. right?

Overall does it seem that the guy is interested in me?  Do you think it’s wrong to tell him that either something happens with us or that’s it and we need to go our separate ways?  I feel bad because I feel that I’m giving him an ultimatum.

Oh by the way, we haven’t slept together, so its not a booty call, I think!

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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Do you have a designer satchel filled with Post-its of illegible scribbled notes to yourself on them? Scraps of paper, or napkins (gasp!), with phone numbers jotted? Business cards scattered about? Or, do you have so much on your plate that you feel an impending sense of doom because you barely have time to breath?

You’re overworked, super busy, and plain simple, unorganized. Put your Blackberry down. Take a breath. You know what, maybe even grab a manicure. Then follow my five steps to organization, to go from pull-your-hair-out crazed to experiencing a sense of normalcy. You’ll be surprised by how productive you can be and how much you can do without feeling like, well, a crazy person. [continue reading…]

I went on my second date with this guy who happens to be a co-worker.  Up until that point everything was great: fun conversation, chatting of texts, etc.

On our second date I had nothing to eat that day and we went out for drinks.  Long story short, I ended up getting extremely drunk out of the blue, got sick and he ended up having to baby-sit me at his place that night. That morning he poked some fun at me, but was very sweet.  I texted him to apologize, but he hasn’t responded yet (it’s been a few hours).

Everything leading up to now has been so good and would indicate he’s into me (holding hands, gazing into my eyes, etc.)  Please tell me what I should do next and if I may have lost my chance with him.  And if I screwed it up, how do I redeem myself?

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My ex and I had a perfect nine months: no fights, some arguments of course, but everything was great.

I was always worried a little about this ex girlfriend. She left him for another guy and he never got over it… or over her I guess.

When she became available again, he left me for her!  I don’t understand what happened … I just know I want him back.  What should I do?

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Super Bowl  Sunday is a day for commercials you actually want to watch, over-hyped halftime performances and unhealthy snacks galore– oh yeah, and football! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re body doesn’t care if it’s the Super Bowl and those calories will count just as much as they would on any other day.

Fortunately, you can get the best of both worlds and enjoy delicious appetizers without the guilt with the help of celebrity personal trainer and wellness guru David Kirsch. David has committed himself to helping others achieve a balance of mind, body and spirit and is the author of three best-selling books filled with yummy recipes and invigorating workouts.

To help you stay on track this year, David has provided six delicious and nutritious recipes that can seamlessly replace those old Super Bowl standbys. [continue reading…]

I don’t really know how and why I started collecting quotes . It just kind of happened and then soon enough I was carrying around a beaten up notebook with my everywhere in case I read of heard something inspiring. And when the notebook was almost full, I typed up all the quotes and made a nice categorized, color-coded word document to house them all.

The quote-collecting started when I was 14 and over a decade later it continues. My quote collection has helped me get through the bad and learn to really see and appreciate the good- breakups, breakdowns, identity questions, regrets, triumphs, tragedies, you name it and I have a quote that will help you get a better grip on it, some with laughter and others with immense wisdom.

Winter is here, the temperature is frigid, darkness comes way too early and a whopping case of seasonal affective disorder is all but inevitable. To help make these sad days a little shinier, I’ve decided to share some of my all time favorite quotes. Enjoy! [continue reading…]

When I write an Ask a Guy, Sabrina and I will usually discuss the content before it goes live.

Recently the subject of guys and breakups came up and Sabrina and I went back and forth about what guys generally go through when they breakup. It came down to be too much to put into the article I was writing, so we decided that I should throw it all into an installment of “Decoding Male Behavior.”

To start, I wanted to write this article to dispel some of the misconceptions I’ve heard in regards to men and breakups.

I’ve heard things like: “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her. When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or, “He’s just hooking up with so-and-so to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.

To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface.

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My boyfriend and I love each other, but he and I have been having more and more fights.

How do I break the cycle?

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By now, you’re probably on New Year’s resolution overload. Everywhere you look you see ads, magazines, and busses telling you how to be the “new you in the new year.” The pressure is on and many of us crack.

Don’t get me wrong, having a goal and trying to stick to it is quite a feat in itself because you’re hopeful, while some drown in self-deprecation . However, what’s the point of aiming for an end result when: 1. It will make you miserable in the process 2. You’re not 100 percent committed to it 3. It just won’t last? Isn’t the point of having a resolution in the first place because you want to improve who you are to be happier and healthier?

My motto for resolutions: Think big, start small and stick with it. Here are 5 resolutions that you may have already broken and what you can do to fix it—it’s never too late! [continue reading…]

I had a boyfriend for just over a year, we split up about three months ago because of all the arguing and stress. He is quite ignorant and I’m used to having arguments with him and not speaking for days. As per usual I’d be the one to text first and cave in.

Lately we have been meeting up and occasionally sleeping together, it’s really good and we classed ourselves as seeing each other. But now I find myself feeling ignored, I’d normally expect a text a day or so but I’ve received nothing.

I always text him first so today I didn’t bother, and he didn’t bother texting me? Am I overreacting or does he just want the chase or a relationship?

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A new year is almost upon us. It’s a time to look back and reflect and look forward with optimistic lenses in the hopes of making this next year better than the last.

While you may have already decided on your New Year’s resolution, I have three more that you should definitely consider adding to the list. [continue reading…]

There is this guy who I see often but have never actually spoken to. The only contact has really been him indirectly talking to me. One time he told someone that I was a “good kid”, when I was standing right next to him.

He also stares at me sometimes and then doesn’t look away when I catch his glace. There are other things along those lines as well.

Does he like me or am I overreacting?

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There’s this guy I really like and at first things were great. We texted constantly for about five days but then he suddenly stopped. I left him alone because I didn’t want to come across as annoying or something.

After that it seemed like I always had to initiate the conversations to get a response. It really seemed like he cared so why would he go from talking to me all the time to not talking at all?

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I am definitely not perfect, nor is anyone else out there. However, I am someone with a vested interest in improving myself and finding ways to live a happier, more meaningful life. I know what it’s like for things to seriously suck. I know what it is to feel like the world is conspiring against you. I also know that changing the way you think about yourself and carry yourself in the world can have an enormous impact on your life as a whole.

I have thought a lot about the idea of bad habits to stop and good ones to adopt (no, I’m not talking about things like smoking, eating fast food, biting your nails, etc).  It isn’t always easy, but I do it and in turn, I have seen some pretty incredible results.

Read on to learn how to improve your life and happiness with a few minor adjustments! [continue reading…]

Recently I was coaching a woman on how to write her online profile. Before we wrote the profile, I asked her to send me her four best pictures. I asked her to do this because men are as visual as Scooby Doo on steroids.

The first thing they do when they see your profile online is NOT read about your trip to Italy last summer . . . they want to see how hot you are. Keep in mind that every man has different taste in women, so what is “hot” to one man will be totally different than what is “hot” to another.

So I explained this to my client, and I asked her to send me her four best photos — pictures that represent who she is in her life. What she sent me is mistake #1 of the biggest mistakes women make online.

Click over to Your Tango to find out the 7 biggest online dating mistakes women make.

I have made it very obvious to my significant other how much I love it when he texts or does “little things” for me.  even though he rarely does it, I’ve let him know that just a simple email or text can make my day.

He says that all he wants to do is make me happy, so I don’t understand why he doesn’t even make the effort to do the things he knows I like! When I know he likes something, I do it. I want to tell him this bothers me, but I don’t want him to do it just because I “asked him to,” basically ruining it.

Plus, I feel like he should WANT to do things that make me happy anyway. What gives?

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Women are known to “obsess” a bit when it comes to relationships. Okay, obsession may be a strong word, but there are biological reasons why women become more emotionally attached to their lovers than men do.  At the turn of the 21st century studies were conducted to better understand romantic attachment. The results were quite jarring to say the least and it was discovered that orgasms cause both oxytocin and vasopressin to be released from the hypothalamus, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for pleasure and mating.  Although the two neuropeptides associated with continued attachment are secreted in both men and women, oxytocin and vasopressin have stronger influence on women .

Oh yes, it happens to everyone. [continue reading…]