A few days back, I was at Aroma Cafe waiting for my large coffee to appear when I overheard one woman lamenting to her friend…
At one point she said, “I mean, how could he say that?  He’s supposed to love me unconditionally.”

OK, full stop.

First off, whenever I hear that someone is supposed to do anything in a relationship, an alarm goes off in my head.  The phrase “supposed to” is basically the same as saying the word “should”: it’s a poisonous word for relationships.

It has a tone of blaming, shaming and coercing the other person to do what you want them to do… or else.

More importantly, when I heard her say that he’s supposed to “love her unconditionally,” I thought to myself, “Wait… do women seriously think that?” [continue reading…]

I’m in my late twenties and have never been in a long term relationship. I’ve dated plenty of guys and have had a few boyfriends but all those relationship last maybe three months max. I don’t know if it’s me or if I’m just picking the wrong guys.

I’m at a point in my life where I really feel ready to settle down. I’m just afraid that I’m never going to find a guy who will truly commit to me. What do you think it takes to have a successful relationship that really lasts?

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Relationships can be hard, most people will admit to that. But how hard is normal exactly? And what is the line between the usual relationship ups and downs and a full on toxic relationship? It seems like it should be easy to distinguish between the two, but toxic relationships can be sneaky, sinister things and by the time you realize that you’re in one, you may be in too deep and unable to pull yourself out.

The reason it’s so hard to identify whether you’re in a toxic relationship is because they rarely start out toxic. They usually start out like most relationships, full of excitement and happiness and that warm fuzzy feeling that takes hold when you start dating someone who you share strong chemistry with.

As time goes on, however, the good times can be outweighed by the bad and even though you feel miserable, you can’t quite seem to walk away. Maybe you don’t want to admit that you’re in a toxic relationship. Or maybe you think things will suddenly snap back into place one day and you’ll feel that same sense of euphoria that you did in the beginning.

Knowing is the hardest part, but it’s also the most important which is why we’ve created this super accurate, super quick quiz to help you determine if you’re in a toxic relationship.

Note: In order to receive your quiz results, we collect your email at the end of the quiz. Just wanted to give you a heads up so you know what to expect. :)

I’ve read a lot of your articles about how important it is for a guy to treat you like a priority instead of an option, and how a woman has to be the prize…. I’m just kind of confused as to how to do this.

How do you show him that you have options so that he sees you as the prize? I just don’t understand how to do this without coming right out and saying it. [continue reading…]

I’ve been seeing a guy for about six months now. Everything in the relationship is great- we get along, we have fun together, we just get each other. The only thing is he won’t commit to me. He said he wasn’t hooking up with anyone else, only me, but he’s not ready to use titles.  I know his last relationship ended badly, so that might be part of it. I just don’t get it, the relationship is so great in every way aside from this.

How do I get him to commit to me? [continue reading…]

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Things are great aside from the fact that we fight a lot. He loves me, is dedicated to me (and I to him), but sometimes it doesn’t feel like we vibe on the same page.

First, I like to talk about whatever is bothering me and he doesn’t. When I tell him I need more emotional support and he says I’m being needy and unreasonable. He tells me it isn’t his job to maintain my emotions or my happiness.

Second, there are money issue (he works full time and I’m a full time student/working part time). He’s stingy with spending any money on me. He makes comments like “I don’t really feel like spending money for both of us” or “It’s my money and I earned it.” I’m not a gold digger or high-maintenance, but a gesture of love like a card saying sweet things would mean a lot.

I can deal with not getting gifts and such, but being treated like a financial burden sucks and feeling like I’m stuck alone without his support hurts. I don’t know how to get through to him, we’re both stubborn. We love each other and want to make this work though.

How can we solve these relationships problems and stop fighting so much?

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Me and my bf are finally back together after a 3 month breakup. We’re both trying to be normal and go back to the way things were. He tells me he loves me when he’s sober, but I don’t feel it like I used to before we broke up.

The other night he was drunk and texted me saying he loves me and misses me and will love me more when he’s back home in two weeks and went on and on. The next morning I asked if he meant everything he texted and he said  “yes, a drunk man means whatever he says.” I asked the same question to all my male friends and got mixed replies and now I’m more confused.

Do men really speak the truth while they’re drunk or is it just BS? [continue reading…]

I was friends with this guy for 6 years (and nothing more) until recently – he’s now my boyfriend.  He’s not mean, but he just never says or does anything nice.

What I don’t understand is I’m way out of his league – I’m very attractive, have an outstanding degree and a high-profile career.

He just does not appreciate me. I’m convinced he’s using me for sex. He never makes time for me, claiming he’s busy, but he will go out with his friends. And the last three times we met we had sex in the car. Gosh I’m disgusting.

How do I get away from him? Honestly his dismissive ways are so attractive to me.

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I’ve been seeing this guy who I really like for about two weeks now. He really is the perfect guy and has everything I want in a guy. I haven’t had much luck with men so I’m really excited about him, maybe too excited. I’d wish I could spend all my time with him and I’m scared of seeming too needy or desperate. I’m trying to stay in control and not text him more than twice a day or nag him on messenger if he doesn’t want to talk for very long.

The only thing is, I’m afraid I’m holding back too much. He actually once pointed out that I’m kind of distant with him him. I’m also afraid of appearing too needy. What should I do? I really don’t want to lose him.  [continue reading…]

I been talking to a guy for a little over a month now and he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. I’m in college and when we’re at school we spend a lot of time together. I decided to have sex with him just before we went home for winter break.

He acted normal for the first week after we slept together, texting and calling regularly but then things started to changes around the third week of the break and he was barely making contact. Also, about a week after we had sex I asked him if he sees this going anywhere and he replied “Idk yet.” I didn’t respond. I’m so confused by his behavior. Did sex ruin us? What should I do now? [continue reading…]

OK… I’m confused. How do you get a guy to text you back?

The guy I’ve been dating for the last two months used to text me back right away whenever I texted him. He would send me sweet messages, he’d never leave me hanging, and he seemed really into me.

However, for the last two weeks I feel like something changed. Now there have been times where he won’t text me for a day or two and when we do text, I feel like it’s always me initiating the conversations. It went from him showering me with attention and affection to him not responding to texts for hours.

I don’t know what changed but I have this horrible feeling I screwed something up or maybe I’m bugging him. I’ve eased up on the texts (just in case I was overwhelming him), but for the times I really want to hear from him can you tell me how to get him to text me back?

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Do men and women speak different languages? Based on the amount of time and energy most women spend decoding male texts you would think so!

I’m not sure what women analyzed before the invention of cell phones, but in this day and age it’s all about male texting habits. Why he takes so long to respond, why his answers are so short, why he doesn’t respond, what he means when he says XYZ. Texting was once thought to make communication easier but really, it’s leaving the women of the world more and more confused.

The reason women get so stuck in the text-analysis trap is they often use a man’s texting habits as a sort of litmus test for the relationship. A man’s texting habits can never reveal the full spectrum of how he feels, no matter how many hours you spend dissecting the words and emoticons. His texts, and your interpretation of them, can give you insights into the state of your relationship though.

To give you objective clarity on what his texts mean, we’ve created this “Secret Text Message Meaning Quiz.”

Just provide honest answers to these 6 questions to find out for sure what he really means and how he really feels.

Note: In order to receive your quiz results, we collect your email at the end of the quiz. Just wanted to give you a heads up so you know what to expect. :)

I’ve been with my boyfriend for the past year and nine months. We have been in a long distance relationship for the last three months.

Prior to being in a LDR, we did everything together – we would see each other almost every day and talk all the time. We were always comfortable together and the relationship was always very loving.

Recently, I have started to fear that he’s slipping away. I can’t tell if it’s just me being crazy or if this is my instincts picking up on him losing interest… Can you please tell me how to make a long distance relationship work?

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for the last three years.  We have stable jobs, we live together, and we get along with each other’s friends and family.

We have a good relationship, but I’m at a point where I’m starting to ask myself: Is he the one?

None of us are getting any younger and I’ve been thinking about my future, being married, etc.

Nobody’s perfect and we do love each other, but how do you really know if he’s the one I’m meant to be with?

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“I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years.  He says he loves me and is happy, but I secretly feel like he’s out of my league and that he could date other girls that are much prettier than me.  Even his ex-girlfriend is prettier than me.

Why is he with me?  It’s not that he’s done anything wrong or given me a reason to worry, but I just secretly fear that one day some other girl will come along (who’s prettier, skinnier and sexier than me) and he’ll leave me out of the blue.

Again, he says he’s happy and he loves me, so I guess I just want to understand why does he like me and why is he in love with me?”

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My boyfriend of 5 months has become overweight due to alcohol and stuff. He used to be a fitness freak and had 6 packs before, but he is not able to hit the gym regularly because he is studying abroad and working.

He’s extremely upset about the weight he gained and not talking to me properly, saying that he’s feeling empty.

We’re in a long distance relationship, I don’t know what to say. Please tell me what to do. I love him truly and it doesn’t matter to me if he’s fat or not.

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What’s the deal with guys and porn?  My boyfriend and I have been together for a year.

I get that guys watch porn I guess, I will never understand it, but I’ve grown to accept it.

But how much is too much? Is there such a thing? I’m not going to lie, it does make me uncomfortable.

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If you’ve completely screwed things up by being needy, insecure, etc, and given everything so the guy doesn’t feel the need to commit to you anymore, is there any hope in hell of changing things around, considering the renewed attitude I received thanks to you guys?

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I’ve had a few discussions with women about “commitment-phobic men” recently.  That is, men who have a “fear of commitment” when it comes to relationships.

The typical scenario where a woman will label a guy a “commitment phobe” is when he’s been seeing a girl for a while – they spend the majority of their time together, they eat together, they sleep together and so forth….but he won’t commit in an official sense. That’s usually when they’ll come to me looking for answers.

Well, let’s get into this…

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I met this guy on a night out with friends and we’ve been texting pretty much all day every day for a month. He often texts me first and we seem to really get along well and like him a lot. The thing I need help with is I have no idea if he’s maybe talking to and/or seeing other girls. I personally am not interested in other boys, and while at the moment I’m still happy with seeing how things go, I just want to know how he feels it’s going with us.

I suppose I’m worried that asking him this will make me seem rather pushy when really all I want is to not feel so unsure about the entire thing. Any advice?

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I have been dating this guy for roughly 8 months. Things started out amazing, getting to know each other turned into mutual interest and before long he asked me to be his girlfriend. He even dropped the ‘I Love You’ bomb on me, which was fine because the feeling was mutual. I never invested myself in a relationship 100% before him, but he managed to get me mentally, emotionally, and physically. With all that being said, I understand that a woman should not put too much out there or be too available in the beginning. I did that and lived by that in the past … Hell, I got him by doing that.

Lately, however, I’ve found myself living around him, being super available and maybe even a little needy. I’ve also noticed a change in the way he is around me. He seems to slowly be losing interest. He makes time for me, but I don’t feel like it’s enough and things just feel different.

My question: When you are in a relationship with someone, how do you ensure that he wont lose interest? He says he loves me and wants to have a future but sometimes I feel like his actions aren’t matching his words. Am I reading too much into this? What’s going on?
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I’ve been seeing this guy for 6 months and we decided to officially become a couple after about a month of dating.  Lately he’s been withdrawn and doesn’t give me nearly any attention.  When we’re together we sleep together, but recently he became really emotional (like he was going to cry) and was telling me that “I deserve better than him” and that “he’s not good enough for me.”  What does my boyfriend really mean when he says that?

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I went out with a guy that I dated once for a bit, but he didn’t want to be my boyfriend officially and we stopped talking for a while.  I saw him the other night and I happened to be all made-up and looking hot.

His eyes widened and he was speechless – then all of a sudden he started talking about becoming my boyfriend again.  I was shocked, but I’ve wanted to be a couple with him for a while.  I need to know though:  Does he only want to be my boyfriend because I looked hot that night?  Does he just want to be a couple because of my looks?

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I’ve been seeing this guy for the past month. He’s been very sweet and I really like him.  He lives over an hour away, works during the week and hunts on the weekends, so seeing him regularly has been difficult.

At times he would text me in the mornings, but then he gets busy. Eventually, he started going days without texting unless I send him a text first.

He’s talked about us doing things together in the future.  He’s even said nice things about me to his mom.  But now it’s been two days without a response to my last text – did I do something wrong?  Should I send him another text?

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My boyfriend and I had a good relationship, but mutually agreed that a long distance relationship was not for us. Just before he moved to another state, I told him that it would be easier for me emotionally if I cut off contact with him completely. He said he didn’t want to but ultimately he agreed to it…

It’s been three weeks and I miss him. I want to reconnect with him, but I don’t know how to re-establish contact with him after telling him that I wanted to cut off all contact. Any advice?

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I’ve been dating a guy who I have known for a while for a month. The dates have all been amazing, we have so many core values, beliefs, and lifestyle aspects in common.

However, the part where we have sex and he withdraws happened.  I’ve been totally cool about it, giving him all the space in the world, no calls, texts, emails. My Facebook page (which I know he looks at) makes it clear I’ve been out with friends, at events, and that good things are happening at work.

My questions are: Is ANY contact okay during this withdrawal, or is all contact off limits for a while (the “Rules” say it is…)? How long do I give the withdraw period before realizing he doesn’t want to take things further? Is there anything a girl can do, apart from knowing that the guy would be crazy to not want her and continue to have an awesome life?  And is there any other form of encouragement we can provide that lets him know we are interested in him, but not sitting around helplessly?

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I have been seeing this guy for awhile now. He told me  that he loves me twice and I told him I loved him as well.

However, he started to back off a bit and out of the blue I got an email saying he is scared because he fell in love with me and has been acting distant in an attempt to push me away because he’s getting “too emotionally attached.”

I am apparently too addictive and the relationship is complicating his life and making it difficult. I am lost on this one. Should I just forget him? How can a guy fall in and out of love like that?

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When my boyfriend and I broke up, he gave the reason that he’s not sure he can make me happy, because he’s not happy and he doesn’t want to bring that into the relationship if he can’t make the girl as happy as he is.

What does this all mean?  What do you think he’s going through and how can I help him get through this phase?

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I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and  I do not understand why he won’t stop flirting with other girls. I give him everything that he needs sexually, emotionally, physically and mentally, but still he flirts with other girls and has sexy conversations with them.  He never meets up with them, though.

I know he loves me because he told me first and he is a genuine person, but I hate feeling like I’m sharing him.  What should I do?

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