This guy and I have  had a huge history over the last 5 years. Although we’ve never dated, we’ve been friends with benefits.  We’ve both admitted to liking each other, but it hasn’t lead to an actual relationship.

When we’re together, it’s like we’re “dating” (he acts all boyfriendy), but other than that, we’re just friends.  We don’t live in the same city and can go months without seeing or even talking each other.

He’s generally terrible at returning phone calls and texts (even to his closest friends and family), but lately he’s been answering my texts every time, he carries on a conversation and he seems to be a more open than he used to.  Do I even make an effort to care about this guy anymore? What’s his deal?

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I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple months now. When we first started talking, he was always the one to text me first and ask me to hangout.

Lately though, I always have to text him first, and it takes him FOREVER to reply and sometimes he doesn’t even reply at all unless I text him more than once.  I also have been having to make all the effort to hangout and sometimes when we make plans to hangout, he’ll just bag out last minute.

I know this makes it sound like he doesn’t like me, but he keeps telling me that he does.  Also, when I do text him or when he texts me (very rare), he still calls me “babe” and stuff.

Am I being needy by texting him all the time?  Should I lay off and wait for him to make more effort?

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I was at a bar last weekend and ran into a guy I graduated with a few years ago.  We talked for a while and had a really great conversation, but my friends had to leave rather abruptly so the conversation was cut short.  We got each others numbers and around 4 AM he texted me saying that he wished the night didn’t have to end so soon.

Fair enough, but then he sent a few more texts, really adamantly wanting us to hang out… obviously a booty call.  We didn’t end up hanging out, but I did really have a great conversation with him and I feel like something good could come out of it.

Do you think there is any salvaging this?

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After the longest work-week ever, I was ready for a glorious weekend of debauchery. I hit up the bar-scene and the cutie from the house next door couldn’t stop eyeing me. I waited the obligatory five minutes to see if he would approach me. Chalking it up to intimidation on his part, I made the first move and he loved it, obviously.

We went back to his place and it was clear that we were definitely into each other. However, I was really the one calling the shots, and after having kept things PG for the night, (to his drunken dismay), I decided it was time for bed. A quick pout, a kiss on the cheek, and minutes later he was out like a light. I experienced no such luck and tossed and turned for hours, finally deciding to ditch by 5 am.

Since we both assumed I’d be spending the night, there was no number swap. And just leaving without so much as a last name exchange made it next to impossible for either of us to contact the other. To be honest, I wasn’t really looking for things to end here….

NOW WHAT? How do us ladies go from here?

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I was dating my boyfriend for 7 months. We were happy and going along with the relationship at a normal speed.  We were exclusive, called each other girlfriend / boyfriend. Then he lost his job and pushed me away. He wanted a break, so we took 2 weeks alone.

He came back and decided he wants to start over and just “see each other”, but not use labels and big obligations for our relationships future. He missed me, but was confused where to start over. Where do I go from here?

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I have read and heard countless times that guys prefer women with curves and more meat on their bones but I’m starting to wonder about that. I have some super skinny friends who are considered really hot and always get hit on and then there are celebs who are super skinny, like Olivia Wilde and Megan Fox (she supposedly has a 23 inch waist!), that are considered these huge sex symbols and are number 1 on every ‘hot list.’

Anyway, I would love to hear a guy’s take to find out what guys REALLY think about super skinny girls.

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I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now and I really like him. The thing is, he has some major relationship issues. All of his former girlfriends have cheated on him which has caused him to be very closed off and wary of relationships. I really think we have something real here but I don’t wanna waste my time with a guy who will always be too afraid to commit. Is there any way for me to help him with his issues and help him trust women again?

Read our guy’s response after the jump!

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I have known this man for 25 years. I dated him before I got married to another man and he also married someone else. We both recently divorced our spouses, him in 2006 and me 2009. A friend told him I was divorced and he emailed me. We talked and emailed for about 6 months and then got together. It was a little awkward, but we had a great time after I relaxed. We got together again about a month later and it was great.

While I was still married,  we talked several times a day. Now we talk about once a week and e-mail. My question is: How do I know if he has any serious thoughts about me? He gets very uncomfortable if I try to even ask how he feels. He said he is not sleeping with anyone but me and is happy by himself.  One time when I asked, he said he considers me his companion and lover. What does that mean?

Another problem is that we live several states away, but there are no kids or reasons not to see each other. He said he will share real estate with someone, but no marriage and told me he is not ready to move where I am. Is it worth continuing this?

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I was set up with a cute guy recently- we talked loads on the phone first and had a great laugh. Our first date was really lovey as well.  I ended up getting snowed in at his house so had to stay, but nothing happened.

Anyway, I sent him a message the next day thanking him for his hospitality and didn’t get a reply until the following day and it was pretty blunt, just saying “thats ok”. He  texted me a few days later asking if I would like to see him again, so I agreed and this time we ended up sleeping together.

Now he only texts me if I text him first and he’s only interested in talking if it’s about sexual stuff.  It’s been 2 days and I haven’t texted him, but he hasn’t text me either!

I felt we really had a connection but I don’t want to freak him out by asking him how he’s feeling when we’ve only met each other twice! Any help would be much appreciated.

Read our guy’s response after the jump!

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I’ve been on several dates with this guy who seems to show more interest and put in more effort when I start caring less. The reason I started caring less is because he was not being that considerate about our plans (i.e. canceling). When I care less, he tries harder and puts in more effort which causes me to  end up liking him more again.

Maybe my situation is unusual, but in general , after several dates, is it okay for a girl ask a guy to hang out sometimes? Or, should she keep letting the guy initiate plans until they are actually in a relationship?

I thought it would be okay for me to initiate plans, but with this guy, but it seems like he cares more when I care less… so another question is: Is that normal or is this guy a screwball?

Read our guy’s response after the jump!

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There’s this guy I met online, through a dating website. We have seen each other 3 times and based on his body language, he seems to be interested. He also suggests future dates.

The problem is, he never says when and he hardly calls me or initiates contact in between dates. What’s going on? Does he even like me or is remotely interested. Maybe he’s treating me as his friend and is playing the field? I do know for a fact that he likes to take it slow, is that it? Please HELP!!!

Read our guy’s response after the jump!

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My boyfriend of over 3 years recently confessed that he cheated on me at a party one night with some girl he barely knew. He was incredibly sorry and felt awful about it (which is why he confessed) but said something just “took over” him and he couldn’t resist the girl. We’ve been having some problems lately, but we were working through them and we’ve had such a solid relationship up until now. I just don’t get why he did it. I mean he’s been faithful all these years, why now? And why this girl? And why tell me about it? Do I forgive him? I just have so many questions and don’t really know where to go from here.

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I was with this guy for almost a year and he refused to be “official” saying he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. I eventually ended it, seeing that he was never gonna change. He immediately starting dating someone else and after 3 weeks she was his official ‘girlfriend.’ What the hell? I don’t understand at all. He used to go on and on listing all these reasons why he couldn’t be in a relationship at this point in his life, was it all bullshit? Or was I just not ‘the one?’

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 7 months now. I really love him and our relationship is really wonderful in a lot of ways. However, he hasn’t been that into having sex for about a month now. I’m always the one to initiate it and he usually gives me excuses, saying he’s tired or stressed and whatnot. When he does give in, he just doesn’t seem that into it.

I should mention that he recently got laid off and is obviously having a hard time with that.

I just don’t know, I mean, I thought guys were always supposed to be up for sex no matter what. Is he just not attracted to me anymore? I just feel like such an idiot every time my own boyfriend shuts me down. What’s going on here??

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now. We’ve had our problems but have worked through it all and I really want him to pop the question already. There was a moment when he talked about us being married, but he joked that I should be the one to get him the ring.  The topic hasn’t come up again since and at this point, I am just about ready to give him an ultimatum- either he proposes or I’m leaving.  I’m also thinking of just getting him a ring at this point just to move this thing along!

Can you please help me figure this out?

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I met a guy about two and a half weeks ago. We had a long conversation, he asked for my number and he texted me the next day. Since we met, I was never the one to call or text him first, I kinda always wait until he does. I don’t mean to ignore him because I do like him but I’m scared I might be bugging him.

Now, he really doesn’t text me as much as he used to (he always responds if I text him though). Do you think he might get tired of me or give up if I always wait for him to contact me? Should I reach out to him more often? How do I know if I’m bugging him?

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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So I know this guy in a band and we hit it off really well. I’ve only seen him twice and that was when he was on tour twice but we ended up talking forever. He’ remembered me both times and if you know guys in bands, you know they see so many chicks from touring all over America so its kind of hard to remember faces.

I just saw him three days ago and he was being pretty flirty and saying things like “what’s the oldest you have ever dated?” and “you have such a beautiful complexion.” (Btw, we’re only 5 years apart.) I wanted to text him in a couple months when he’s back home and off tour and ask him how he’s been and how the band is.

But there’s a twist- he never gave me his number. I got it from my brother because they’ve talked before. Do you think it would be weird or bad if I texted him? And do you think he’d be mad or happy to hear from me? I really need a guys opinion and point of view on this.

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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Last spring break I started seeing my ex-boyfriend’s best friend as more than a friend.  It was unexpected… and we didn’t mean to become interested in each other. He had just broken up with his girlfriend and was hurt, but he was trying to get over her.

He gave me the option of either staying friends until he was over her or to keep talking. I decided that I wanted to keep talking to him because I thought it would help him forget about his ex-girlfriend.

Things were going well for about 2 months and then he suddenly wanted to take a break and said he needed space for a little bit. I understood, and in the meantime was hoping that he was OK and that things would soon go back to normal.

Soon after, his ex-girlfriend friend-requested me on Myspace.  I didn’t approve her, but I checked out her page out of curiosity.  She had added new pictures of her kissing the the guy I was seeing (the pictures were dated though).

I confronted him but he saw nothing wrong it.  He was turning things around on me and I just couldn’t handle it.  I stopped talking to him and a little while later she cheated on him again!  He learned his lesson and ever since then we’ve been friends, but haven’t started things up again.

I know that he truly cared about me and he tells me that he does. He wants me to be happy and wants for us to eventually give it another try to see if we still have the same strong chemistry that we once had.  Maybe I am crazy for asking this, but should I give him a second try?

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I met a guy at this party about 2 months ago. He asked me for my number and we’ve been talking ever since. We went on two dates and I started to like him. However,  I checked his MySpace profile and his status says “in relationship.” We had a date set up for last Sunday and since he flaked, I confronted him via text message about him being with another girl, which he denied. He also said that he wants to see me this week. I have tried emailing him and even texted him twice but got no response.

Is this a nice way of him blowing me off? Should I just assume that he really does have a girl friend and he isn’t telling me the truth? I really like this guy which is extremely rare for me- I don’t usually have this kind of connection with guys . Any advice on what to do?

See our guy’s response after the jump! [continue reading…]

There’s this guy that I met a few weeks ago, he’s an old friend of my best friend and they know each other really well. All of us started hanging out together and eventually he and I hooked up. To explain my “problem” I have to tell the most important facts:

He plays in a band, is good looking, and has a lot of girls chasing after him. My sister  warned me not to expect a lot from somebody like him because he seems unpredictable. But my best friend, who knows him much better (but can be a little naïve), thinks the best of him, and said  that he’s looking  for something more than what those girls “offer.”

He showed interest from the first time we met- asking things about me, inviting me to come over to some party, etc.- but I think this is just the way he is. He’s nice to everybody so I don’t think I was treated special or something.

We talked for hours before kissing each other. It was nothing I was planning, it kind of just happened. But it was a great night and he told me he liked it too, he also said a lot of cute things to me and tried to be a gentleman. 

I promised him I would call him, but I forgot it, so he called me the next day and we went out at night (but with my other friend as well, nothing like a date). Later that night he told me that I should call him sometime because he didn’t want to be the “only one who puts effort in this” and I said that I would text him. The next day I sent him a message late at night saying  I thought a lot about him. He called me the next night and referred to my text, saying that he thought about me too, especially about the kiss.

I didn’t contact him for three days, and when I did, I asked if he wanted to go out with a group of us (message, no call). He answered the next day, apologizing that he didn’t write sooner, and asked if he could call me the next day (he did but I missed the call). 

So my question is: from what you know about him (womanizer, band/party-guy but polite and friendly and good friend) and what happened between us, do you think he is just being nice and polite in calling or texting me back, and doing this because he kind of feels he “has to,” or do you think he could possibly be interested in me? I usually know pretty well what I want (or don’t) but this time I’m completely clueless. My sister’s advice was to not expect anything from him and she kind of thinks he’s a selfish guy (or in a selfish phase of his life) but my best friend likes him a lot and doesn’t really agree with with my sister’s  negative thinking.

And I don’t really know, he did show that he liked me at first, but then he went a week without calling me  (but then again, I didn’t call him either).

I really don’t want to like a guy who couldn’t care less, but I don’t want to give up before anything has started. Do you think I should stop expecting something from him and move on to being friends, or do you think there is no risk in going on and liking him (I know, no risk no fun, but I had enough of disappointments)? And how do I know if he just liked the kiss (as he said) or if he actually likes me as well?

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There is a guy I’ve been talking to for over a year. I met him through a friend in Europe, we all chilled, had fun, he was nice to me. One year later back in the States (we live in the same city) I was unknowingly talking to him over the phone just messing around (his cousin was dating my friend and his cousin gave the phone to him). He said he remembered me, told me to come over, so I did. We connected over the summer and saw each other a few times. He would hug me, sometimes ask for a kiss on the cheek and was nice all the time.

We lost contact for a while but then I started calling him around December. He came to my house for New Years and  got mad at me because I hit him upside the head. I was just playing around and I’m always aggressive towards him. Whenever I contact him, he always writes back….but he will just never ever agree to see me anymore. The, when I bitch him out and tell him I’m done, he’ll call two seconds later to apologize and will ask me on a date that we never end up going on!

I NEED HELP…no one can diagnose my problem…it’s driving me crazy. For some stupid reason I like this person a lot. I can’t seem to stop writing to him because I feel that he likes me back but won’t admit it because he has too much pride. Each and every time I shut him down and tell him I’m done with his ass, he makes it so that I’m not mad at him anymore…why? If he doesn’t like me, why respond or ask me out on a date period?”

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I have a question about a confusing situation. Here are some stats. I’m 38, my guy is 42. Both of us have never been married and have no kids. I met this guy online almost two months ago. We live about 50 miles away but decided that is no issue. He’s great! He is always telling me how much he likes me, I’m a sweetheart, how much fun he has with me, he feels so comfortable with me and how our sexual chemistry is just awesome. (We had sex on the first date, BTW, don’t know if that would make a huge difference.)  We spend every weekend together and usually one night during the week and he calls or texts me everyday just to say hi.

One month in, I asked him what he thought about being exclusive. He said he wants to take it slow and really get to know me and- much to my dismay- he has gone on dates with other women. I told him fine but I didn’t want to be casual forever and that I hadn’t been dating but will start if we’re not serious. I also told him if he didn’t see things going anywhere, he needed to let me know and I would do the same for him.

Well, almost a month later, he makes sure to lock in the weekend plans with me early in the week and always has something fun and exciting planned. He continues to come over during the week and still contacts me daily.

Do you think we have a chance at becoming serious? What’s with the taking it slow and the dates with other women? Should I ask him about being exclusive again and if so, when?

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I’ve been working with this guy for close to a year. I was always attracted to him but tried to play it cool and treat him like any other friend. It took him about 6 months to ask me for my number and I was really shocked because I didn’t think he thought of me in that way and I instantly started crushing on him. We hung out later that night after his shift ended. It was pretty casual, just small talk, and then he went home.

After that, he started texting me raunchy things about “getting naked” and “getting freaky” and such but I’d always object flirtatiously, like, “oh well only if you’re lucky” or ” maybe once you get to know me better.” So after about a week of us texting back and forth, he texted that he wanted to hang out again. I agreed but then he never texted back! We still saw each other at work and would make small talk, but I didn’t hear from him other than that.

I decided to focus my attention elsewhere and only worry about school, work, etc. I randomly texted him maybe a month later just to see how he was doing and he seemed happy to hear from me and asked when we were gonna hang out. I told him pretty much whenever I was available next. That night, he texted me around 2 am asking to hang out but I obviously said no since it was so late. He seemed cool with that, but then the conversations died down and I didn’t hear from him for weeks. Then I noticed that he changed his Myspace status to “In a relationship” so I figured that was why I hadn’t heard from him but I realized he must have been in a relationship that last time he asked to hang out.

After that, I completely cut myself off from him outside of work because I didn’t want to deal with the heartache. Now here it is, weeks later, and he’s asking me why I haven’t texted him in so long. I’m so confused! Anyway, I texted him the other night to see how he was doing. He asked what I was up to but then just stopped texting!

I feel kinda played for giving in to him but I still like him and I’m not sure what this all means. Any thoughts?

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I’m a busy, single girl living in NYC and I need advice on how to meet new guys. I’m a student in the performing arts – concentrating opera – so my access to straight guys feels a bit limited. Rehearsals and classes take up most of my time. I haven’t been on a date in over a year now – its crazy! I want to try something new where I can get to know more guys. I go to the gym a lot but other than that I don’t have much in the way of ideas.

As for not going on a date, I think its a sign that there has to be something I’m doing wrong. I generally feel awkward and nervous around guys so I bail out of talking to them even when there’s nothing to lose. They don’t approach me either, so I’m guessing I’m not sending out the right signals if I’m sending any.

There’s also the fact that my roommate made a bet with me – find a date in 10 days or I’m subject to being sexiled for a weekend. That would be severely inconvenient so if you could help at all that would be great! I would love to have a guys insight!

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I have been dating a man for about 5 months and everything is pretty good. He was married for 10 years and has been divorced for about 2. His ex still gives him a hard time, but he says that he has moved on. He has custody of one child and she the other.

We spend majority of our time together. We go out often, I’ve been introduced to the family and he to mine, and he treats me like I’m his girlfriend. Last week I bought up the subject and the answer wasn’t what I expected. He told me how great I was and that he loved what we have, but at this time, he didn’t have the capacity to commit to more. I processed this and the next day told him that we probably shouldn’t talk or see each other anymore. My rationale was that I was too emotionally caught up and didn’t know when he would have the ‘capacity.’ He was in utter shock!

He said that he expected me to pull back, but not cut it off completely. Then, he back peddled and said he prays daily for god to release some of the things in his life. He also said that just because he doesn’t have the capacity today it doesn’t mean that he won’t have it in 2,4, or 6 months. Being a woman, I accepted his logic and things have been good. He continues to treat me well, but in the back of my mind I’m scared things aren’t going to change and that I’m wasting my time. I want to have kids and he knows this (and says this is fine) so this further complicates the situation because I don’t want to waste these years with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to commit at this time.

Lately I’ve also notice that when we talk about things like houses and cars he uses ‘us’ and ‘we.’ For example, I am considering purchasing a new car (sports). We were talking and he told me to purchase whatever I like, but remember that I want to have kids in a few years and that I would have to get a new car. I said that my future husband would just take my car and I would take his. He told me that if we marry that that car switching wouldn’t work (he doesn’t like small cars) and that I better buy a car that could hold the entire family (including his family). Mixed signals?

I’m really confused. Do I leave since the one thing I know for certain is that he doesn’t have the capacity or enjoy our time together?

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I’ve gone out with three different guys in the past month. With all of these guys, we talk and have a good time for a few hours over coffee. He asks me out for a second date, and takes down my phone number. He even talks specifics for the next date (what day, what we might do). None of these guys actually call me to schedule the next date.

What is going on here? I can see this happening maybe once, but three times? …and what is the rationale behind asking a girl out and then never calling? If he doesn’t like me, why doesn’t he just not ask me out again, or just not ask for my phone number?

Read on for our guy’s response!

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I was at a party with some friends, and one certain guy was there that was a friend of a friend. I had known him throughout high school but we never really spoke or spent time together. I was very much attracted to him and wanted to get to know him better. At the end of the night we ended up talking for hours and then impulsively slept together.

Not too much was expected afterward from either one of us. However, I spent the night at his house a few days later and we ended up hooking up again. The next day he sent  me a note saying that he was really sorry but he wasn’t in the right mindset to be in a relationship right now and we should start spending time as friends and nothing more. As upset as I was, I accepted it and was happy to at least still have him as a friend. I really feel like we have connected ever since then.  He shares everything with me, and me with him.

Over the next two months, we hung out as friends. We started to hook up twice but he immediately pulled away and said that he doesn’t want to hurt me.  He said he wants me and that he really likes me but he couldn’t see the relationship going anywhere since we were both planning on leaving at the end of the summer. However, neither of us is planning on leaving anymore, so I can’t understand why he still won’t commit.

I feel like he’s afraid of getting hurt- he battles with depression issues and doesn’t seem strong enough to handle any sort of disappointment. I just get very confused because he runs so hot and cold with me. One minute I feel like he’s changed his mind and wants to further our  relationship and make a commitment, but then he’ll pulls away. At this point, I’m not sure if I should wait it out and see where it goes because I’ve really started to like him and can see myself dating him. On the other hand, I feel like I’m wasting my time and it isn’t  fair to put myself through the constant disappointment.

Is he ever going to come around, or am I wasting my time? Does he really like me or is he just making up excuses to cover his fear of commitment or lack of interest??

Read on for our guy’s response!
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My roommate met this guy at a bar a week ago. the first date, he took her to Gramercy Tavern (one of the nicest restaurants in New York City). Last night was their second date and he took her to another equally nice restaurant. Before their second date, he had some of his friends meet her and he tells her how much he likes her every other sentence.. When she got home, she was getting concerned that this guy was a desperate loser because he was exposing all way too soon. Tonight, he came over and when I came out of my room I saw a HUGE vase of a dozen roses that he brought her. Now my roommate is convinced that he can’t get a date and probably wants to marry her next. He’s also in his 30s, a lawyer, and looking to buy a place or probably settle down. She likes him but she thinks he has no game and too much strong feelings too soon is creeping her out. What do you think? Are we just cynical and can’t appreciate a gentleman taking us out or does this guy really have signs of desperate loser?

See our guy’s response after the jump! [continue reading…]

I don’t know if it’s my personality or what not, I tend to nitpick a lot with my boyfriends, either because I really am like that or because they are not ideal for me. This was a big problem in my last relationship, which ended really badly. After, I told myself that I would never get into another relationship where I end up nit-picking or feeling unsure of whether or not I should be with him. Anyway, I’ve been seeing this new guy who really loves me and is the epitome of an ideal boyfriend. BUT,- there always has to be a catch- there are certain things I don’t like about him. I think I can overlook it, but I am extremely scared that we will end up badly just like my past relationships because I can still find things I don’t like about him. So what should I do? Do you think I have emotional baggage? I don’t want to break it off because I love him, but I am thinking, should I find someone that I can’t nitpick with so I will never be this confused?

Read out guy’s response after the jump! [continue reading…]