So your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend. Oof.
It’s never easy when an ex moves on. Breakups are hard enough but then knowing how to deal when your ex moves on is a whole other ballgame.
This is a personal topic for me because I’ve been through this exact situation. It was the worst and most damaging breakup of my entire life. And I spent a year comparing myself to this other girl and wondering why I wasn’t as good as her.
MORE: How to Get Over Even the Worst Breakup
What did she have that I didn’t? Was I not pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, fun enough? And how could I be more of these things so I surpass this other girl and get my ex back?
[continue reading…]I always say 95% of relationship success is who you choose. All the advice in the world won’t save you if you choose guys who aren’t on the same page as you and who don’t want the same things.
It’s really important to recognize the signs of a man who is ready to settle down and wants a serious relationship so you don’t end up wasting your time and getting blindsided when after months of pouring your heart and soul into this guy and into the relationship, you discover he’s not on the same page.
MORE: Signa He’s Serious About You And Wants to Be Your Man
Sometimes we don’t see the situation clearly because our feelings are too involved. We want things to turn out a certain way and so we hone in on the signs and clues that say reality is as we want it to be.
But doing this doesn’t serve you and it won’t help you get the love you want. Read on for the signs he is ready for something serious … and that he’s serious about you.
[continue reading…]I think we all know how hard long-distance relationships can be. Relationships can be a struggle, to begin with and adding distance to that just throws a whole new set of issues to deal with into the equation.
Any challenges you face as a couple are just that much harder when you’re trying to make a long-distance relationship work. Not to mention, you’re already missing out on all of the full-time benefits of being a couple when you’re living near each other.
MORE: Secrets to Making Your Long Distance Relationship Last
If you’re struggling with how to make a long-distance relationship work, you’re going to want to pay close attention. I’m going to share with you six simple and easy tips to make your long-distance love amazing and stress-free.
When you use these tips, you can ensure that your relationship stays amazing and strong until, hopefully, you are able to be in the same place at the same time. So make sure you stick with me until the end.
[continue reading…]OK, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. You meet a guy you feel the spark, numbers are exchanged, you go out a few times, and everything seems to be going great.
And just as you start to get really excited about all the potential and possibilities … he’s gone. Either he does the “fadeaway” and pulls away slowly over time, or he straight up ghosts you and vanishes into the abyss.
What. Just. Happened.
What just happened?!
Things were just ramping up! Everything was going so well! And now he’s just gone?!
MORE: Why Guys Disappear and How to Deal
It’s a painful, dizzying, knock-you-sideways kind of feeling. You just don’t get it.
But you will. I’m going to explain everything to you so keep reading.
[continue reading…]Let’s talk about how you might unintentionally be pushing guys away and turning them off by acting too desperate and needy.
I’m sure you have the best intentions. But as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
No one ever wants to be the desperate girl, but if that’s the place you’re coming from, then it will come across in your actions.
MORE: 5 Things Every Man Wants in a Woman
I know this might sound harsh, but I won’t be doing you any favors by placating you and encouraging bad behavior. It’s not only that- this needy behavior most likely isn’t the true essence of you you are … it’s a reaction to things you’ve been through. So in this article, I’m hoping to strip that away so you can be your authentic self.
You may not even realize that your actions are coming off as desperate, because some of these signs are subtle, which is why I’m going to set the record straight so keep reading.
[continue reading…]Let’s talk about toxic people …
Here’s the thing about dating a toxic person, or even being friends with a toxic person, they very rarely start out toxic. Or at least, that’s not how they present themselves in the beginning.
If you’re in this situation I feel for you because I know first hand how hard it is. You want it to work with this guy, you see a lot of good in him… but something just doesn’t feel right. You don’t like the way you feel in this relationship. And he’s pretty awful to you.
MORE: The Number 1 Signs of a Toxic Relationship
In the beginning, he was so enraptured by you. He was so sweet and so into you- and now it seems like everything you do is wrong and you’re the source of all his problems.
But maybe you’re just being sensitive or paranoid. Is it really you or is he a toxic person? Keep reading to find out.
[continue reading…]Let’s talk about how to handle being ghosted. Oof. This one hurts. And we’ve all been there. And if you haven’t been there yet, it’s coming!
My favorite ghosting story happened with this guy I’ll call James. We had been seeing each other for a few months and I really liked him, but then he vanished without a trace. But he did resurface a few weeks later … and I remember seeing his name appear on my phone and just feeling so happy and relieved to be hearing from him again. I forgave for ghosting me even before I heard the apology! But he wasn’t calling to apologize. He wasn’t even calling me … he accidentally called me thinking he was calling some new girl he was dating or hooking up with. He hung up on me as soon as he realized and I never heard from him again, ever.
MORE: Why Guys Disappear and How to Deal
Whenever I discuss this topic, it generates a strong emotional reaction. And I fully understand it. It seems immature, it seems childish, and it’s just so disrespectful. And how can you not take it personally? He didn’t even care about you enough to tell you he no longer wants to see you? So did he ever even care about you in the first place?
You just feel so hurt and you feel like such a fool. What were you missing? How did you not see this coming? And how can you ever trust guys after this?
So let’s talk about how to make the experience slightly less awful. I’ll try to give you some perspective on why guys “ghost” and how you can move on without feeling bitter and jaded so keep reading.
[continue reading…]The biggest area where women feel lost or confused in the realm of dating and relationships is in understanding a man’s true intentions.
It’s easy to be misled, or to feel like we’ve been misled when our emotions are attached to a situation. You want things to work out … and you may want it so badly that you can’t see the truth about your relationship.
MORE: Signs He’s Serious About You
I know what it’s like to be stuck in a confusing “situationship.” It feels like he really likes you, but the terms of your relationship are unclear or undefined and you just don’t know if you’re wasting your time or energy.
In this article, I’m going to clear everything up and tell you exactly how to know if he has pure intentions and if he truly wants a serious relationship with you.
Let’s talk about what to do when a guy tells you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship or he can’t be in a relationship or he doesn’t like labels, or whatever the case may be!
If you’re going through this, I feel for you because I’ve been through this sort of thing many times and it really hurts.
MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You I always say it’s much harder to get over the guys who were never your boyfriend than to get over an actual breakup because the fact that he doesn’t even want to try is just so much more painful. You see how great you guys could be together … why doesn’t he?
I’m going to help you understand what’s going on and how to respond so keep reading.
[continue reading…]If you’re a regular reader of A New Mode then you know our main mantra when it comes to deciphering how a man feels: when a guy likes you, it’s obvious!
OK … so then why does it get so confusing? Why are so many women feeling confused and despondent because they have no idea where he stands?
The confusion comes when a guy likes you … but doesn’t like you enough. When he likes you … but he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Ouch.
MORE: 11 Undeniable Signs He Doesn’t Like You
This is where everyone gets stuck. You don’t want to let go because he does like you, and you like him, and it would be foolish to let go of a guy you like or even love! But at the same time, you are not getting what you want. You aren’t really getting anything from him … you’re holding onto the potential of what could be.
So how do you know what’s really going on? I’m going to break it all down so keep reading.
I get a lot of questions from you guys that sound something like this: My boyfriend or my ex or the guy I want to be my boyfriend is not nice to me, he ignores me, he’s disrespectful, he blocked my number, or he’s cheating on me or I just found out he has a wife … but I want him back and I want to make it work, what can I do?
Now I’ll usually respond by saying something like: “That sounds awful, why do you want to be in a relationship with someone like that?” And the answer always is … because I love him.
MORE: Proven Signs You’re In Love
Or I’ll get messages from women saying they can’t stop obsessing over this one guy and can’t move on. So I’ll ask, “what’s stopping you from moving on?” The answer … because I love him.
Ladies — or gentleman, because this applies to you too — this is not what love looks like or feels like!
To clear things up, I’m going to tell you the signs you were never in love, even though you thought you were.
[continue reading…]Let’s talk about why a guy you’re seeing or are in a relationship with is suddenly ignoring you.
Here is how it usually goes: the relationship gets off to a great start, you text and talk on the phone and hang out and it seems like this is going somewhere, and just as you’re settling in and enjoying the bliss of being in a blossoming relationship, he abruptly pulls back.
He may fade away slowly or just completely ignore you or “ghost,” and you have no idea what you did to cause this.
MORE: 5 Steps to Stop a Man From Withdrawing
There is nothing more frustrating than not knowing where you stand with someone. If he doesn’t like you, fine, that hurts but you can move on. When you’re stuck in this gray zone it makes you crazy and sends your brain into overdrive.
The human mind doesn’t like not knowing so we spin and spin hoping to come to some sort of conclusion. All that spinning gets you nowhere, it just makes you dizzy and even more off-kilter.
Don’t worry, I’m going to break it all down so keep reading.
Let’s talk about a common term that gets flung around in the realm of relationship advice: the chase.
The chase isn’t about playing games or following rules or manipulating a man into wanting to be with you. If you go about it like that, you will always lose.
Why is it important for a man to chase you? Well, it goes back to basic biology. Men are hunters, it’s in a man’s nature to want to pursue… and unfortunately, a lot of women have taken that away from him by going after him hard… which actually only succeeds in scaring him away.
MORE: How to Make a Man Chase You Without Playing Games
Maybe going after things aggressively has served you in other areas of your life, maybe it got you where you are in your career, but it won’t help you attract and keep a high-quality guy.
The chase is what gets a man to pursue you. Pursuing you leads to investing in you and this is what causes him to really fall for you.
This is how it’s done.
I get a lot of questions from women wanting to know how their guy feels and if he’s thinking about her.
Men aren’t always so easy to read, if they were, I wouldn’t have this job!
When you don’t know how a man feels about you it can drive you crazy- you feel insecure and unsure of how much to put into the relationship. You’re worried about being blindsided and ending up broken-hearted.
MORE: Does He Care About Me? 16 Signs That Guarantee He Really Does
When you like a guy and you’re thinking about him all the time, you want to know if he feels the same. Sometimes you may want it so badly that you see things that aren’t even there!
I’m here to help and I’m going to share my researched and proven ways to know if a guy is thinking about you a lot.
You’ve been seeing this guy and everything seemed to be going great until … he goes a few days (or more) without texting you.
The panic steadily rolls in like an ominous storm. Everything seemed to be going so well, what happened?? Did you say something wrong? Did you do something to turn him off? Is he dead in a ditch somewhere? Why isn’t he texting me?!
Ask a Guy: Why Hasn’t He Texted me in 2 Days?
It is the worst feeling. You just feel completely at his mercy. You spend your days just waiting from some sign of life from him. Every time your phone dings your heart lurches out of your chest (and then it sinks back to the pit of your stomach if the message is not from him…).
You feel anxious and on edge. You just want to know what happened to cause this and if you’ll ever hear from him again.
Keep reading because I’m going to break it all down for you.
In this age of endless connection, we are more disconnected than ever and most relationships don’t go very far beyond the surface. Maybe it’s because we hold ourselves back or maybe it’s because we no longer have the tools to genuinely connect, like face-to-face and via conversation.
In order to build the foundation for a relationship, you need to create a meaningful connection, and this comes when you truly connect with who the other person is.
A little while back, I discovered this site called Thought Questions and I started keeping a list of some of my favorites. When my husband and I were still dating, I pulled up the list one night and suggested we play the “questions game.” We also mixed it up by seeing if we could guess what the other person would answer. It was a lot of fun, but also a very profound experience and we ended up learning so much about each other (and about ourselves!), which brought us even closer. To this day we make an effort to spend time asking each other deep, meaningful questions that go beyond ‘how was your day?’ And every time we do this, we discover new and interesting things about each other.
MORE: 225+ Amazing Questions to Ask a Guy
In his book “The Seven Principles of Making a Marriage Work,” famed relationship researcher John Gottman (the dude who can predict whether a couple will get divorced with something like 95% accuracy after watching them interact for only a few minutes) cites “enhancing your love maps” as the first principle. A love map is essentially knowing all relevant information about your partner’s life, from small things like the name of their first pet to big things like significant experiences that shaped who they are. He explains that couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s worlds are much more equipped to cope with stressful events and overcome conflict.
The point is, knowledge is power and asking the right questions can unlock the gates for a meaningful connection and deep understanding of one another. It doesn’t matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it could be the first date or your 10th year of marriage, people are deep and complex and always evolving so there is always something new to learn.
To help you tap into the power of knowing, here is a list of my favorite bonding questions to ask your guy in order to get even closer and more connected.
Meeting an amazing guy you connect with who likes you as much as you like him is a really special thing. And just when you’re riding that wave of “wow, this is so amazing,” the panic may start to set in and have you wondering: what if he loses interest?
MORE: 8 Scientifically Proven Ways to Get a Guy to Like You
For a long chunk of time, I was great at getting the guy, but not so great at keeping him. That’s because it wasn’t coming from an authentic place. I was great at creating the illusion that I was a confident, fun, secure, happy woman, but inside I wasn’t. And that’s what you need in order to not only attract but keep, a quality man.
Read on to find out how it’s done.
Love may feel magical, mysterious, and inexplicable, but it isn’t as random as it seems—there’s actually hard science behind it.
This is why we feel instantly drawn to some people but couldn’t care less for others. Why some people hold our interest after that initial attraction, while others don’t. There is a science behind attraction and what causes us to not only be attracted to someone, but to continue to feel strongly for them.
MORE: 5 Steps to Make A Man Fall In Love
Yes, a lot of the time things flow so naturally it’s hard to imagine there are real, rational, concrete things going on behind the scenes causing those butterflies, and that is how relationships should feel. You should never force a relationship, and you can’t make someone feel a certain way if they just don’t … but you may be able to tip the scale in your favor and help Cupid along by doing certain things that will increase his attraction to you and keep him interested.
There is nothing more exhilarating and terrifying than texting a guy you like.
The stakes feel really high and you want to make sure you’re making the right impression while also being authentic and true to who you are.
The pressure is understandable. Texting is our main mode of communication, and it can be a make or break in a relationship. And a lot can get lost in translation. The wrong text can cause a guy to lose interest or think you’re desperate when you’re not. And the right text can make him go from lukewarm to super interested.
MORE: How to Know If a Guy Likes You For Sure
To help you out, I’m going to tell you exactly what to text a guy to make him more attracted to you … as well as what you should never text a guy!
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Being in a situation where you like or love a guy and he just doesn’t feel the same way is the worst.
I’ve been there, I know how deeply it hurts. Why doesn’t he just want you the way you want him? It’s hard not to feel like you’re just not good enough.
MORE: How to Get Over a Guy Who Doesn’t Like You
It’s hard not to take it personally. It’s hard not to feel like you’re somehow defective, or like you’re the architect for your own misery by doing something that just repels any many you have feelings for. You’re not sure what it is about you, but it must be something.
Don’t worry. I’m going to break it all down and tell you exactly how to get over these situations with your self-esteem fully intact.
You’re seeing a guy… but he just won’t emotionally commit. Ouch.
This is usually how it unfolds. You’ve been dating for a little while, the momentum is strong, things seem to really be driving along in the right direction … but then it stops. He starts to pull away and withdraw and you feel like you’re losing him.
Is he a commitment-phobe? Did he lose interest in you? Did you push him away? Why won’t he commit, and what can you do to get things back on track?
MORE: Why Do Men Pull Away – 3 Main Reasons
It’s a devastating feeling. You can’t help but blame yourself. You must have done something to cause this. You go through all the possibilities in your mind and come up empty and meanwhile, he’s slipping further away. What happened?
I’m going to break down exactly why a man won’t emotionally commit and what you should do about it.
Men aren’t always the best at communicating—he may not always be aware of what it is he needs until he gets it.
Women are more accustomed to talking about their emotions and needs, so a woman who trusts in herself and the relationship enough to ask her guy what he wants, or communicate gently what she needs, can be a godsend.
More: 5 Things Guys Secretly What (But Will Never Tell You)
A guy generally won’t ask for what he needs because a lot of the time, he doesn’t even know what it is. But then when you give it to him, it feels amazing. He feels appreciated and loved, and he comes to love you even more.
And with that, here are 11 things he definitely wants that you can give him, and everyone makes you happier, too.
They say if you love something set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be. But is this really true? Also … what if it doesn’t come back?
After a breakup, especially one where you were broken up with, it’s natural to be consumed with feelings of wanting to get that person back. And while you may be tempted to call or text them, or even better, see them … this won’t work. If someone lets you go, you have to let them. This is also the way to ultimately get him back.
MORE: How to Get Your Ex Back in 5 Steps (With Testimonials)
But backing off and leaving him alone doesn’t work in a vacuum. It’s about what you’re doing while you back off and leaving him alone that will determine if you can get the relationship back on track.
Now, this doesn’t just apply to a breakup. This also works if you’re in a relationship and your guy is taking space or pulling away. It’s all about gracefully backing away and leaving him alone, and how you utilize this time, that will make all the difference.
Let’s dive in a little deeper.
Texting is the primary mode of communication in these modern times so it makes sense that one of the most popular relationship questions we get have to do with a guy’s texting habits, or lack thereof.
The most common question of all is this: Why isn’t he texting me?
MORE: The True Reasons Guys Don’t Text Back (And What to Do About It)
We’ve been getting variations of that question for a solid decade now with no signs of slowing down. To help clear up some of the confusion, I’m going to break down the five main reasons a guy isn’t texting you back. If you’re not hearing from him, it’s most likely for one of these reasons.
I’ll also tell you exactly what to do to guarantee he never leaves you hanging so read until the end. [continue reading…]
Texting plays a massive role when it comes to dating and relationships. It’s pretty much our main mode of communication and can be a make or break in terms of getting a relationship off the ground.
A text can send the wrong impression and cause a guy to be turned off … or it can have a huge impact causing him to think and obsess over you for the entire day. It’s not about pretending to be someone you not. You want your authentic self to come across via text but unfortunately, a lot can get lost in translation and you may end up coming across in a way that isn’t true to who you are.
MORE: How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Through Texting
Texting doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people and may cause you to unintentionally push a guy away before things even get started. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to share some amazing examples of texts to send that will guarantee he becomes obsessed with you.
Everyone has their own unique vision of a perfect relationship, but it’s safe to say that no matter what that picture is, it includes being a top priority.
On a universal level, everyone wants to feel like they are hugely important in their partner’s life. You want to be cherished, not be relegated to an afterthought at the end of the day. You want a man who is over the moon to have found a woman like you, a man who loves you just as much as (if not more than!) you love him.
MORE: What to Do When You’re Not a Priority
Sadly, sometimes a man just isn’t present and connecting in this way. He might be distracted by other things in his life, such as work or family problems. Maybe he secretly doesn’t see a legitimate future with you, and as a result, isn’t putting in the effort.
When this is the case, it’s crucial you spot it as early as possible. If you see the signs, don’t fall into the trap of thinking things will change. Think of your friends who have put their sweat and tears into changing a relationship like this. It never works.
Save yourself the time and emotional stress by seeing for yourself if you’re really a priority in his life. Once you are open to them, you’ll see if the signs are there.
What is that special something, that intangible quality that makes a woman irresistible?
You’ve probably seen it in another woman before. We typically find it much easier to see someone else’s charm than our own. It’s difficult to describe, but some women are just magnetizing. Men seem instantly drawn towards them.
MORE: 11 Ways to Get a Guy to Like You
It’s definitely not a matter of checking a list of boxes physically. Your appearance is part of it, but there’s way more to this puzzle. Truthfully, once you step into your full and authentic power, you’ll perfectly embody the most attractive version of yourself.
But how do you do that? It’s all about adopting the right mindset.
Here are 16 things you can do to transform into your best self, and thus make any guy desperate to date you!
While we all know some men are only interested in hooking up, it’s not always as clear which men those are!
Some guys are super upfront about what they want. Others either accidentally or purposefully send mixed messages. Regardless of how he goes about expressing it, some guys are just not ready for a relationship.
It could be that he’s not in the right stage of life for a commitment. Maybe he just doesn’t like you enough to jump into a relationship. We know this is easier said than done, but don’t take that personally! It happens to everyone.
MORE: How to Know if a Guy is Wasting Your Time
If you suspect your current crush isn’t feeling a relationship, pay attention to that doubt. Considering how easy it is to fall into the trap of self-deception, we have to be vigilant. Be honest with yourself before you end up wasting time on the wrong guy.
To help you avoid that exact scenario, here are the top twelve signs he only wants to hook up:
What makes a man want exclusivity with you? It’s a question burdening countless women.
Here is how it usually plays out. You’re seeing a guy that you really like. He seems to like you a lot too. You hang out often, you laugh, you connect … but you’re not an official couple. You try bringing it up to him, but he either changes the subject or gives you some excuse as to why he doesn’t want to be exclusive. You feel hurt and confused. It doesn’t make any sense, everything seems to be going so well, why doesn’t he want an exclusive relationship with you?
When you’re in it, it’s a painful question and the answer can seem hard to find. But it’s actually all pretty basic.
MORE: Major Signs He’ll Never Commit
So let’s look at exactly what it takes to make a guy want to be exclusive with you.
How can you get a guy to miss you and think about you and want you even more? With the texts you’ll find in this article!
Texting is our main mode of communication these days, and can really enhance a relationship when done right.
We get a ton of questions from women wondering why guys don’t text back, or why he disappeared, or why he stopped texting. The main thing you need to realize when it comes to men and texting is that men will pretty much always respond to texts that make them feel good. And conversely, he will avoid dealing with texts that feel bad.
MORE: How to Give Him Space So He Misses You And Comes Back
What’s the difference?
“I can’t stop thinking about you. Ugh, why are you so hot?” This makes him feel good.
“Why haven’t you replied to my last text? I saw that you were on Facebook earlier so you obviously saw it! This is unacceptable!” This makes him feel bad and he will push off dealing with it.
The texts in this article will make him smile and crave you. Some will intrigue, some will make him laugh, some will make him blush- but all of them will make him feel good and that is what will make him miss you and count the minutes until he can see you again.
