Let’s talk about when a man treats you like an option instead of a priority.
I get so many variations of this question. They usually sound as follows: my boyfriend doesn’t make me a priority, what do I do? … I want to spend more time with him, but he doesn’t seem to want the same … I don’t feel like a priority in my relationship … My husband puts everything before me … How do I make him appreciate me?
MORE: How Do I Get Him to Treat Me Like a Priority?
When you are not a priority, it’s a horrible feeling. You end up in the toxic cycle of trying to prove your worth to him and carve out space for yourself in his life. You just have this feeling of not being enough and it eats away at you. And how could it not? You’re seemingly not at all important to the person who is the most important to you. It hurts.
You don’t get a man to treat you like a priority by demanding it or even asking for it. You need to inspire it.
Read on to find out exactly how to become his number 1 priority.
There’s a saying that goes, you can never recycle wasted time, and oh how true that is.
No one intends to get into a dead-end relationship. Most of us want that real, true, long-lasting love and our quest for it can sometimes lead us to stay in situations that are the opposite of what we want.
Why does it happen? Well, we get so caught up in the potential of what could be, rather than looking at what is.
You’re dating this guy and he just checks so many boxes. And you rarely experience this kind of chemistry so you would be foolish to let it slip away! Sure, he doesn’t seem to be on the same page as you, but maybe with just a little encouragement, you’ll be able to get him there.
MORE: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit
Maybe once he sees how amazing you are … maybe if you can help him get over the ex who broke his heart … maybe if you can just wait it out a little longer … then he’ll step up and be who you want him to be.
I’ve deluded myself in this way many times and I’ve seen many others do it as well so I can tell you: this never turns out well!
Don’t let yourself be lured by what could be, look at the situation as it is right here, right now, and then decide what you’d like to do. To help you get there, these are the biggest signs you’re wasting your time with him and he isn’t going to commit to you:
Here’s a scenario that might sound familiar to you. You meet a guy and woah! He’s everything you’ve been looking for and you are immediately drawn to him. And he seems to be interested in you as well!
Now you’re getting really excited about the possibilities. But just as quickly as you rise, everything comes crashing down. Maybe he withdraws, maybe he ghosts you, or maybe he comes out and tells you that he doesn’t think a relationship would work out between you.
MORE: The Number One Reason Why Men Suddenly Lose Interest
You’re angry … mostly at yourself. Why did I show any interest? I should have played hard to get, that’s how you have to do it! I should have ignored his texts, I shouldn’t have been so available, I should never have shown any interest.
Stop beating yourself up, none of that works and none of that would have helped you.
Read on for the truth about why men seem to lose interest as soon as you show yours.
Let’s talk about men going hot and cold.
Is there anything more unsettling and frustrating? You’re seeing a guy, everything seems to be going great, he seems super into you … and then he’s not. Something suddenly shifts. You try not to worry too much, but you can’t help but wonder what you may have done. But then he’s back like nothing ever happened. And just when you’re getting comfortable, he disappears again. Or he shuts down. Or he withdraws.
You have no idea where he stands. Is he into you or not? Some days it seems like he definitely is, other days he acts like you’re some sort of nuisance. Some days he’s warm, affectionate and sweet, other days he shuts you out in the cold and leaves you shivering from his icy behavior.
MORE: The Top 3 Reasons Why Men Pull Away
You may try to talk to him about it, but that effectively gets you nowhere. He either acts like he has no idea what you’re talking about or gives you some vague excuse.
So let’s dive in and look at the real reasons some men run hot and cold.
You like a guy and he seems to be attracted to you … but you can’t quite tell…
Here’s the thing- men communicate through actions more than words- as such, a guy may not always come out and say he likes you, but his actions won’t be able to hide his true feelings.
Typically, when a guy likes you he’ll act on his feelings — but sometimes not. He could be a shy or insecure guy, or maybe you’re a shy and insecure girl and he’s interpreting that to mean you’re not interested and he thinks he’ll be rejected (something most men are absolutely terrified of).
MORE: How to Know if a Guy Likes You For SURE
Maybe you work together and he wants to be totally sure you like him before he crosses that line because there is a lot at stake in that scenario.
You may think he’s into you, but you want to be sure before you start showing more obvious signs of interest.
To help give you clarity, these actions are definitive behaviors of someone who is secretly attracted to you.
Breaking the ice with a guy you like can sometimes be challenging. It can also be tough to break past the typical flirty banter and really get to know each other.
I don’t know about you, but nothing is more painful to me (in a not physical pain sort of way) than awkward silences, especially on a date. And talking about the same old things can get tedious.
A little while back I started keeping a list of cool and interesting questions to ask a guy in an attempt to avoid awkward silences and generic conversation. Early on when I started dating my husband, we had a “questions” date night and it really brought us closer and helped us discover things about each other, and ourselves.
And this is something important to keep in mind about conversations in general. Conversations aren’t meant to impress another person, but to discover them. Most people don’t take this approach and that’s why dating can feel so stressful and overwhelming. You can’t just be, instead you try to be what you think the other person wants. The best approach is to go in without an image of them, and without wanting to seem a certain way in their eyes. It’s to see them as a blank pice of paper and see how they fill in the blanks.
MORE: 20 Questions to Ask a Guy to Get Closer
And with that, here is my ultimate list of questions to ask a guy to bond, connect, and just have a laugh! Some are silly and lighthearted, others are deep and serious and will really force him to step out from behind the mask and share his true self… and that is what creates a connection and real intimacy.
I gave a little bit of explanation for the first 50 questions, just to show you why they are such good questions to ask and what they will reveal about a person. For the remainder, I just listed everything out.
All of these questions will open the gates to a deeper connection and bond, something so many people struggle with in this day and age. So enjoy the list, jot down your favorites, and have fun going through them with a guy you like.
Bad relationships happen to the best of us. We don’t mean to get into these toxic situations, it’s just hard to see beyond the blinding lights of lust and what we mistake as love.
When you meet a guy and feel that ever-evasive click, it’s really hard to tear yourself away no matter how loud the alarm bells sound. I get it. I’ve been there and I’ve lived it and I’ve suffered the inevitable consequences of staying in these damaging relationships for a little too long.
MORE: 5 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship
If you want to have success in your love life and avoid heartbreak and pain, you have to choose wisely. That means choosing someone who wants what you want (and more importantly, someone who wants you, not someone you have to chase to pin down).
And with that, here is my ultimate list of signs you’re dating a guy that you need to be running away from. Be honest with yourself. If a few of these hit a little too close to home it’s time to get some cardio and hit the pavement!
Cheating is generally considered the ultimate betrayal and the most difficult issue to bounce back from in a relationship. This is because trust is so critical … it’s the foundation a relationship is built on. If you can’t trust a man to be honest with you, then everything else you try to build together will just fall apart.
It’s natural not to want to admit it could be happening to you, so you may ignore the signs. Or maybe the signs are there and you’re willing to see them, but you don’t even know what to look for.
On the other hand, if you’ve been cheated on before and this is a major issue for you, you may know the signs all too well. This can be a good thing because you’ll be able to recognize what’s going on quickly and get out, or it can be a bad thing because you’re hypersensitive and zeroing in on non-issues because of the trauma in your past, so insecurity and paranoia take over.
MORE: The Real Reason Men Cheat
Sometimes it helps to set aside your emotions as much as possible. Maybe that means temporarily letting go of your fear that you could lose everything you have with him if you’re right, or your anxiety that it could be happening to you all over again. Set aside those feelings for just a minute and look logically at his behavior, and you can get to the answer you need.
One or two of these signs might not mean anything, but if they start piling up, you need to take the possibility that he might be cheating on you very seriously.
There is nothing more painful in life than being stuck where you don’t belong … especially when you’re stuck in an unrequited situation where you still love your ex and he doesn’t love you back. Or maybe he also loves you, but he doesn’t want to be with you … it doesn’t matter.
What matters is you are in pain. You’re stuck. You ache for something that is no longer yours and may never be yours. You want to be free but you are boxed in by the pain and uncertainty. You feel hopeless and powerless. You desperately seek a magic bullet or solution to create a reality that you believe needs to exist!
I was stuck in love with an ex for over two years. Two years of pining and hoping, maybe even praying. I’m the personality type that tends to get stuck. I can’t move forward until I know everything about everything. I need explanations for all. I can’t accept that sometimes, we need to create our own closure. I stubbornly held onto the notion that closure would arrive at my door wrapped up in a pretty bow.
MORE: Everything You Need to Know to Get Your Ex Back
And the waiting was torture, so I broke and called him and got my closure … and we ended up creating this website together, but that’s a long story for a different time!
So here we are. I’m doing what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years, teaching you valuable lessons based on my many mistakes!
Here are a few things you should realize and a few things you should do in order to move on if you still love your ex.
Men and women. Women and men. We’re not that different, yet we can’t seem to figure each other out.
Don’t despair – I have a little secret that is sure to perk you up: men – yes, those creatures who are so often the bane of our very existence, the ones who puzzle us and tear us apart inside, the ones that cause so much grief but always keep us coming back for more – are not all that difficult to understand. In fact, I think I have an easier time explaining male behavior than female.
I have been writing about relationships for a while now and over the years I have noticed some prominent points of confusion, ones that seem to be shared by women of all ages from all around the world (no exaggeration). I can relate to all the questions we receive on a personal level because once upon a time, I too was banging my head against the table in an effort to understand why.
It wasn’t an easy process, but I eventually reached a point where it all made sense and all my questions and confusions suddenly evaporated. Fortunately, I’m not the selfish type and am more than happy to share everything I’ve learned.
Read on for universal male truths that can save your relationship and your sanity.
He loves me … he loves me not … if only finding the answer were as simple as plucking petals off a flower. So what makes it so hard to determine if a man truly loves you?
A lot of us have ideas about what love should be, what it should look like, and how it should feel. A lot of the time these ideas are plain wrong (we can thank romantic comedies for that). As a result, some of us might not recognize the real thing when it comes our way.
Maybe it’s because of these grand visions of love that have been implanted in our minds, but it could also be the result of being burned too many times in the past and having walls up when it comes to either giving love or being able to receive it.
The point is, love is a tricky thing. A guy can say he loves you and not truly mean it, and a guy can love you a lot but not be ready to say it.
Love, as beautiful as it is, can also be scary, and a lot of us keep our guard up until we’re sure he feels a certain way in order to keep from getting hurt. As the saying goes, before you fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you.
The trouble with this is that when you get caught up in trying to figure out if a man loves you, you can no longer be present in the relationship. Instead of connecting, you are stuck in your own worried thoughts, and those thoughts produce fears and insecurities that ultimately block you from getting the love you want.
So how do you know if a man is truly in love with you? If he shows these 11 signs, then it’s pretty safe to say he is.
It’s an inevitable part of being in a relationship … that agonizing point when your guy seems to be slipping away. Something has shifted and you can’t quite put your finger on it, all you know is the mounting sense of panic and dread running through your veins.
It feels like he’s pushing you away, like he’s mounting a plastic wall around himself to keep you out… and you have no idea why. Whenever you’re together, something feels off. You’re starting to feel like a nuisance rather than the woman he intensely desires.
MORE: 5 Steps to Stop a Man From Withdrawing
All you what to know is what happened and why he’s doing this. Is he losing interest … or is something else going on?
Above all, you want to know how to get him back and stop him from pushing you away.
Here’s what’s going on and what you need to know.
Let’s talk about when a guy isn’t interested in you anymore. First, ouch! This one really stings and if you’re in this situation, I feel for you.
Let’s start at the beginning. It seemed to be going so well!
He was obviously crazy about you and everything just felt right. Then something shifted … his behavior changed and you don’t know why.
Maybe this happened after going out on a few dates… maybe after a period of flirting where you felt sure this was building up to something … but then it just didn’t.
Maybe he’s just busy with work or school or dealing with personal issues or needs some space because you’ve been spending all your time together.
MORE: The Biggest Sign He Doesn’t Like You Anymore
You’re not sure if you’re just being insecure, or if he really just isn’t interested in you anymore.
How can you tell the difference? It’s really not that hard.
If he’s losing interest, you’ll notice some of the following 11 signs.
Let’s talk about the no contact rule … the only “rule” we really support here at A New Mode!
Breakups are brutal, there are no two ways around it. You feel empty and broken, and there’s the pain … so much pain. The pain of no longer having the person who you love. It doesn’t get much tougher than that.
You’re also gripped by confusion. There is a part of you that desperately wants him back, and there’s another part of you that wants to move on.
Most of all, you just want to feel better and one of the biggest post-breakup mistakes is thinking that the only way you’ll feel better is if you get him back. You’re in a massive amount of pain and just want to make it go away.
But it doesn’t come through staying in touch with him or continuing to see him. That only makes things worse. What solves everything is following the no contact rule.
Read on to find out what it’s all about and why it always works.
Let’s talk about the signs a guy doesn’t like you.
I always feel a little bad when I write articles like this because I don’t want to be the one who crushes someone’s hopes and dreams. There is something magical about meeting a guy you like … and discovering he likes you back.
Conversely, it can be absolutely devastating to learn a guy you like doesn’t like you. It is also devastating to waste months, or maybe years, of your life, holding onto hope that he does like you and he’ll realize it and ask you out any day now.
All of us have a habit of seeing what we want to see. Of holding onto the signs that indicate reality is as we want it to be, no matter how minute those signs may be. I lived in a fantasy land for far too long and it didn’t do me any favors. It was only when I took off the rose-colored glasses and looked at things through an objective lens that I could see the truth.
And that’s the gift I want to give to you with this article… the gift of clarity and truth. So here we go. Let’s talk about the biggest signs he doesn’t like you.
Liking a guy who doesn’t like you back is the absolute worst. It may be even worse than getting dumped. It completely sucks the joy out of your life, making you question everything about yourself: your looks, your personality, your intelligence, your social skills, everything!
You are on a desperate quest to figure out why you’re not “good enough” for him. Why doesn’t he like you? What are you doing wrong? Surely there must be something! Now if only you can get him to see how perfect you two would be together … what an amazing match it would be … but how can you do that?
Here is the brutal truth you probably don’t want to hear: There isn’t all that much you can do about it. You can’t force someone to like you. No amount of wanting or yearning will get him to like you back. No amount of plotting or strategizing or analyzing will get you the results you want, it will only drive you insane.
MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You
Now I will say there are ways to increase your attractiveness and likeability. You should focus on becoming your best self, on looking your best, feeling your best, being your best. But if you’ve done that and he still isn’t interested in you, it’s time to just accept it and move on. But the moving on is easier said than done … believe me, I’ve lived it and I get it!
So here is my ultimate guide to getting over a guy who doesn’t like you:
Almost every woman has experienced the panic and uncertainty that occur when her man starts pulling away or withdrawing. Maybe it happens out of the blue, maybe something sparks it, either way, it’s a miserable feeling, one that leaves you feeling powerless and painfully insecure.
You question what happened, why he’s doing this, and what you may have done to cause this sudden shift. The most common questions we get involve some variation of a guy suddenly backing off and the girl going into a tizzy over it and trying to figure out what happened and what she did wrong.
What usually happens when a man starts to pull away is the woman starts spinning her wheels trying to figure out why and what she can do to get him back. She stresses over it and works herself up and this usually makes the problem worse, not better
But let’s dive a little deeper and take a closer look at the exact reasons why men withdraw (or pull away or take space), and what you can do when this happens so you don’t sabotage the relationship.
When you’re dating someone, eventually you’ll have to ask: is this relationship just for now, or is it forever?
Marriage is a big deal, it is the ultimate commitment, and not everyone wants to get married. If you want to get married, it can be devastating to learn that the man you love doesn’t want the same thing. Maybe he never wants to get married period, or maybe he just doesn’t want to marry you.
MORE: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit
No one wants to waste their time on a dead end. No one wants to spend years upon years with someone who just isn’t–and maybe was never– on the same page. There are certain things you can look for, certain signs that will tell you whether the outcome you want is in the cards, but you have to actually look…and a lot of people don’t.
Sometimes it’s easier to just turn a blind eye to avoid having to face a truth that you really don’t want to accept…that maybe the man you love doesn’t want to marry you.
To help you gain perspective and see more clearly, here are 15 definitive signs that he is never going to marry you.
Why do men fall out of love? Now there is a loaded question.
Is it even possible to fall out of love? Does that mean it was never love to begin with? Was it something you did? Something you said? Something you should have said more?
After a relationship ends there are So. Many. Questions. The questions are endless. The questions are what keep us in business!
You get consumed with the need to know where it all went wrong, and why.
People don’t usually wake up one day and decide they no longer love their partner. Just as falling in love is a process that happens over time, falling out of love is a process that occurs over time.
MORE: Why Do Men Pull Away?
When you know the reasons why it happens, you can identify if your man is going backwards in love and hopefully will be able to salvage the relationship.
So here it goes. The truth about what makes men fall out of love.
No one wants to waste their time when it comes to dating and relationships….but sadly, most of us do. The reason is that we let our emotions overrun our common sense and reasoning. We cling to the vision of what could be rather than seeing and accepting what is.
I always know when a relationship is going to fail. It’s a very unfortunate superpower. I know the end just when things begin but I can’t really say anything, and even if I did, it would fall on deaf ears and that friend would probably stop talking to me. I always hope I’m wrong in these situations, maybe this time my Spidey Sense was a little off. But no, it’s usually spot on. (Recommended reading: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit)
There are a few reasons why I can see so clearly: 1) I’m not in the situation and that makes it easier to be objective. 2) I write about relationships for a living so I know a thing or two and 3) There are certain obvious, telltale signs that a guy is ready to settle down.
MORE: Why Won’t He Commit?
So what are the signs that he’s ready to settle down? I’m going to share them with you below. If your guy is showing at least a few of these signs, he is most likely ready to settle down with you.
Have you ever dated a guy who at first looked at you like you were magic…but then soon after seemed kind of indifferent to you? (Raising my hand to this one!)
Or how about being “ghosted?” That has happened to so many of us that it’s now a part of our common vernacular. Has a guy ever suddenly lost interest when things started out seemingly great? Have you faced the pain and agony of watching his excitement over you steadily extinguish?
I know you have because we all have. It’s painful, and quite frankly, it sucks.
MORE: The Real Reasons Men Pull Away
I want to start off by saying it’s not because you’re bad or unlovable or unworthy. If that’s what you think, then stop!
You, like many women, may just be unaware of subtle things that turn men off. You may have the very best intentions… but it’s not about the intentions. It’s something else.
Whatever the scenario, you’re left with endless questions and want to know what happened and why. Well, that’s why you have me!
I’m going to break down the five biggest reasons men get turned off from being in a relationship with you.
If you’re single and dating, you will most likely have the magical experience of meeting a guy you really like. Like really. He has everything you’ve ever wanted in a guy. He’s fun to be around, he’s as great to look at as he is to talk to, and he’s an all-around awesome guy. The catch? He doesn’t want you.
Oof.
It is the worst possible feeling there is. Even worse than a breakup sometimes. You don’t get it. Everything seemed so great, what’s the problem? Why doesn’t he want me?
MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You
You can’t help but travel along the path of negativity. Am I not pretty enough? Not smart enough? Not interesting enough? It must be something!
There is nothing like those early days of a new relationship. Everything is so new and exciting and you just can’t get enough … especially when it comes to texting!
You text and text and text all day. Every ding of your phone generates a rush throughout your body. You talk about nothing and everything and there is nothing you would rather be doing than continuing to type away with a ridiculous grin plastered on your face.
But sometimes, the communication just stops. A few hours go by with no word … and you try to stay calm, thinking maybe he’s just busy. But then hours turn to days and now the butterflies in your stomach have been replaced by iron knots. You send him something innocent and friendly and … crickets.
And you desperately wonder: Why is he ignoring my texts all of a sudden?
MORE: Why He’s Acting Distant All of a Sudden (And What to Do About It)
You can’t help but replay every interaction, looking for what you may have done wrong. Everything seemed to be going so well, what happened? Did he lose interest? Was he playing you this whole time? Did he die? What happened?!
You may see signs of life, maybe he updates his social media accounts or your friend comes across him on a dating app, and when that happens you have to accept the ugly truth: this isn’t an accident, he has purposefully decided he no longer wants to see you. Buy why?
Here are the most likely reasons why he’s ignoring your texts and what to do about it:
Nothing can hinder your future happiness like staying stuck in the past. This goes for every aspect of your life but is especially true of relationships. Happy relationships are ones you can grow in, feel natural in, and be your best self in, and you can’t do any of those things if you’re stuck in a rut. You can’t live your best life in the here and now if you’re still struggling to come to terms with what happened before.
They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and that’s true. But that doesn’t provide a complete picture; it’s even better to have loved and lost and learned the lessons about why, grown from them, and moved on, than to have loved and lost and stayed obsessed with the other person and what went wrong.
MORE: Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even if He Won’t Admit It)
It hurts, there’s no way around it. How can you move on? It’s true that time heals, but it’s not a passive process, it’s an active one. You need to put in some work before you can really move on, but in time you will and you’ll be even better than before.
How do you actively go about healing? Here are 6 steps to help the moving-on process.
Given all the ridiculous and highly idealized visions of love we’re flooded with on a pretty much daily basis, it’s no wonder so many people have no idea what love actually is.
A quick Google search for “How to know you’re in love” will give you a litany of nonsense that is more of a depiction of lust and infatuation than true love.
Most people engage in what I call “chicken love.” What’s that you ask? Chicken love is the man who really loves chicken. He can eat chicken for every meal. When you ask him if he loves chicken he’ll say, absolutely! But he doesn’t love chicken. If he loved chickens, he wouldn’t be eating them, he would build a chicken coop and spend time with them and take care of them. He loves the way eating chicken makes him feel.
MORE: 25 Proven Signs You’re In Love
Yes, love can make you feel really good, but that’s not all there is to love. The fact is, sometimes love will make you feel really bad, and I’m not just talking about breakups! Even in a loving relationship things aren’t always going to feel good.
That’s the problem today. The second the road gets a little rocky, people assume it’s because the relationship isn’t right and they bail. Conversely, people think when the road is a little too rocky it must mean you’re meant to be and need to keep fighting because isn’t that the vision of love we always see? Two star-crossed lovers fighting against the odds to make it work?
So what is love really?
We all know that we just can’t force people to like us, no matter how badly we want them to. The way people feel about us is simply not under our control. Sometimes, we meet someone who seems nice, but something is off. They check all the right boxes on paper but, there’s just no spark. And this is not only true for romantic relationships, but relationships with friends, co-workers or even business partners as well.
Then again, sometimes we meet someone that we do have an interest in, but when faced with the prospect of getting that person to like us, we get really weird and mess things up. Either we get too shy and stumble over our words, or we get nervous and don’t approach the person at all. As a result, our shot at getting that person to like us back goes entirely down the drain.
MORE: How to Make a Man Fall For You
Granted, there’s no surefire way to make someone like you even with all the confidence in the world, but there are certain things you can do to give them a little nudge in the right direction…
If there’s someone you want to like you or even if you just want to become a more likable person in general, take a look at the following steps.
He seemed so into me at first … what happened? I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been asked this question … or even the amount of times I asked myself that very question when I was single and dating!
It sucks. It hurts. You feel so confused and it’s hard not to take it personally. Did you do something wrong? Did you say something you shouldn’t have? Are you not pretty enough? Were you too desperate? Too disinterested? What happened? Why doesn’t he want anything to do with me?
MORE: Why He’s Acting Distant All of a Sudden (and What to Do About It)
This can play out in a variety of ways. Maybe it’s a guy you’ve been casually dating and he starts fading away. Maybe it’s someone you’re dating, but he seems to be pulling away and losing interest. Maybe it a guy you haven’t even met yet but have been exchanging messages with on a dating app.
Whatever the case, it’s a guy who seemed very into you and now he’s ignoring you or being distant or cold or maybe it seems like he “ghosted” you. And you can’t help what wonder…
What went wrong?
Here are the most likely reasons:
It’s a situation that is all too common. You’re seeing a guy, it could be casual or serious, and then he starts acting distant.
At first, you think maybe you’re being paranoid, so you try to ignore the signs. But denial can only take you so far and soon enough you have to admit that it’s not your imagination and he really is pulling away from you.
And then the panic ensues. What happened? Did I do something wrong? Is he losing interest? Is he going to break up with me? Why is he withdrawing and how can I bring him back?
I’ve heard these questions asked many times. And I’ve also asked them myself!
MORE: Why He’s Acting Distant All of a Sudden (And What to Do About It)
I totally relate to the feeling of panic and uncertainty. You don’t want to press him and risk rocking the already shaky boat, but you also really want to know where you stand.
To help you deal with this precarious situation, I’ve compiled my best tips for dealing with a distant boyfriend, including explanations for why he’s being distant and how you should respond.
There will come an inevitable point in your relationship where your guy starts acting more distant. Maybe he tells you he needs space, maybe he just takes space without saying anything. Maybe he even insists he doesn’t need space even though his actions say otherwise. Any of these situations will leave you confused, panicked, and devastated over what it all means.
We’ve written a lot about how men deal with emotional difficulties in life. Short answer: they prefer to retreat and work things out internally. You can’t control what’s going on with him or how he handles it—he is who he is—but you can control how you respond.
MORE: How to Stop a Man From Withdrawing
The way you react when he retreats can have huge implications for your relationship. Will you push him away even further, or will you draw him back in and make the relationship even stronger?
After a breakup, it’s only natural to wonder if your ex still loves you … especially if you still have those feelings for him. The short answer is, he probably does. A breakup doesn’t usually mark the total breakdown of the love you once shared—it’s probably still there, buried under the weight of everything that happened to split you up. Love doesn’t disappear just because one or both of you made the decision to walk away.
Of course, it’s always possible the hurts committed are unforgivable, enough to deaden the love he had for you. For instance, if you cheated on him he may still love you deep down, but you may have caused irreparable harm and he’s basically numb to you. Every situation is different because every couple is different.
MORE: Exactly How to Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You
If you want to get back together, he needs to still love you. If the love is still there and both people are willing to try to make the necessary changes in order for the relationship to work, then you stand a real chance.
So how do you know if he still loves you?
