Tis the season for making resolutions to be our best selves. Committing to the gym, not smoking, eating healthier, all that fun stuff.
A new year is the perfect time to try and start anew. For most this means breaking through barriers within ourselves that may be preventing its from getting what we want. And what most women want is a loving, healthy relationship (men do too for the most part, but not quite at the same level.)
Here are five tips to make 2016 the year you get the love you’ve always wanted: [continue reading…]
I’ve been writing about relationships for several years now. A funny thing I’ve noticed when I tell people what I do for a living is that they automatically assume I was always just good with relationships. Ha! I was as clueless as they come not so long ago. Every misstep, every faux pas, every tactic guaranteed to drive a man away, I did it…and was left baffled about where I went wrong. You see, getting the guy was never the problem…keeping him was.
I’m not one to get caught up in regrets and what ifs. And in retrospect, I’m glad I made those mistakes and went through that kind of pain because had I not, I wouldn’t be able to write about relationships the way I do and I never would have felt any sort of motivation to start this website.
Of course, sometimes I wonder how certain situations would have unfolded had I learned certain lessons a bit sooner. Since I can’t go back and undo what’s been done, I’m going to share the relationship lessons I wish I’d known sooner to spare you from going down my beaten path.
Here they are:
Adopting a healthy lifestyle can be very difficult in this day and age with so many conflicting theories floating around out there. One day something is amazing for you, the next it’s horrible and should be avoided at all costs. One day it’s a miracle weight-loss cure, the next it’s the leading cause of obesity. How is one to navigate through such madness?!
There are endless food myths out there to keep you nice and confused. To help alleviate the problem, nutritionist Nicolette Pace identified the top three food myths and uncovers fact from fiction. [continue reading…]
What do rejection and taxes have in common? They are both inevitable parts of life that everyone has to deal with. It doesn’t matter how beautiful, smart, funny, charming, or awesome you are, there will be times when you meet people who just don’t see it.
If I could write a note to my younger self it would be: “Don’t take it all so personally. You’re wonderful, and if someone else doesn’t see it, let that be their problem, not yours.” Unfortunately, my younger self didn’t get the memo and any type of rejection (especially from the opposite sex) would wreak havoc on my self-esteem. And those kinds of wounds can take a lifetime to heal and will inevitably carry over into your next relationship. If you end up in a place where you fear rejection, you’ll start to anticipate it and then you’ll be more likely to be rejected, thus confirming your initial prediction and affirming your belief that anyone you like won’t like you, which may pave the way for more rejection and on and on the vicious cycle goes.
MORE: Signs He Doesn’t Like You
It took me a really long time to learn to deal with rejection, and it’s something that I still need to work on to this day even though I’m a relationship writer and am supposed to have some degree of expertise in this area.
The upside is that my experience and past pains have helped me develop certain skills and insights to deal with rejection while keeping my sense of self intact. And here they are…
[continue reading…]
Many moons ago I fell very hard for a man who was very wrong for me. I was infatuated with him immediately and the symphony of warning bells was drowned out by an inundation of emotions I had never felt before.
Deep down, I knew something was off. I knew I couldn’t trust him and I knew the relationship would end in disaster. I didn’t want to admit it though, and planted my feet firmly in denial-ville. I never felt that way about anyone before and the prospect of him not being on the same page was too painful a pill to swallow….so I didn’t.
In time, my instincts gave me a big “I told you so.” Everything I suspected turned out to be true and the most painful breakup probably in the history of the world (or at least, in the history of my life) followed.
Looking back, it’s frustrating to think how much time, energy, and hurt I would have spared myself had I listened to my instincts. And it’s not just me. [continue reading…]
They say experience is the greatest teacher and if my dating experience has taught me anything, it’s that there are certain types of guys who always spell trouble.
Eric and I get flooded with questions from readers asking: “Is he serious about me?” Will he ever commit to me?” “He says he cares but he’s not acting like it.” This game of he loves me, he loves me not is exhausting and can ravage your self-esteem.
Think about how much time, energy, and heartache you would save if you could determine if he’s the kind of guy who will commit right off the bat.
The first step in having an amazing, healthy relationship is to choose wisely. To do that, you need to know what red flags to watch out for so you can extricate yourself from a bad situation before you get in too deep and wind up brokenhearted.
And with that, I bring you the five types of guys to avoid dating, and tips on what to do if you’re already dating one of the types. [continue reading…]
The one thing I’ve noticed over the years as a relationship writer is that most women have no idea how they’re coming across to men. They may do things in an attempt to win his affection and then are left completely baffled when their efforts produce the opposite result.
My main source of information for the articles I write is men themselves. Over the years, I’ve noticed a few recurring themes when it comes to things women do that completely turn guys off.
Here are the top ten ways to repel a guy:
Every single girl will at some point find herself asking this question: is there no one out there for me or am I the problem?
Being single is not a curse (in fact, there are some very lovely perks to living the single life), but it isn’t exactly something people aspire to. There are times when we need to be single–and it’s very admirable when you can acknowledge that and ignore the pressure to settle down–and then there are times when you realize that you are ready to meet that special someone and settle down…you just don’t know how to make it happen. Maybe the guys you date are duds. Maybe guys pull the disappearing act on you over and over. Maybe your relationships always implode.
To solve a problem, you need to correctly identify it. Here are the top three (most likely) reasons you are still single: [continue reading…]
Being irresistible to men isn’t about playing games, manipulation, or forcing yourself to be someone you’re not. It’s not about what you wear or achieving a certain beauty look.
Being the kind of girl who intrigues a man to the point of real interest, and interests a man to the point where he is eager to commit, starts from within and then radiates outward. It’s important to have an awareness of what it is men want and also an understanding of why developing these traits will not only help you in dating and relationships, but will make your life better overall.
Over the years, I’ve analyzed and interviewed countless men. Through my research, I’ve discovered five traits that men across the board find irresistible in a woman. Learning what they are will help you attract the right guy if you’re single, and will help you re-ignite the spark if you’re already in a relationship.
Here they are:
Most people spend their lives waiting for happiness. They cling to the idea that as soon as they get that job, as soon as they lose those last few pounds, as soon as they’re in a great relationships, then the gates will open and happiness will come rushing on through. Most people are misinformed. Happiness isn’t something that just happens, it’s something you need to actively pursue. True happiness doesn’t come from wealth or beauty or status or anything external, it comes from within.
In order to find true happiness in life, you need to work on yourself and make a few adjustments to the way you live your life. These tweaks are actually pretty simple and if you do it right, you will attain the kind of genuine happiness most people spend their lives pursuing.
Here are 11 tips to find true happiness: [continue reading…]
Working out is difficult! And I’m not talking about digging deep and finding the strength to get your butt to the gym. No, I’m talking about all the complexities that lie after you’ve taken that first pivotal step.
There are so many considerations that need to be taken in order to get the results you want. Does eating on an empty stomach burn more fat? Do you work out hard for short periods of time, medium for long periods, or at intervals? And what’s the deal with this whole ‘you don’t burn fat unless you workout for more than 30 minutes’ business? So if I work out for 25 minutes it won’t mean anything?? And what happens if I stop working out? Will all those muscles just turn to flab?
Fortunately, your head won’t have to spin for much longer thanks to Jenny Evans, stress/exercise physiologist and founder of PowerHouse Performance Coaching, who has graciously revealed everything you need to know about working out in order to get the results you want!
Read on for her breakdown of fitness myths and facts!
I know it may not seem this way, but relationships are actually surprisingly simple. And if you can master a few basic principles about relationships, and what it takes to have the right relationship, you will be better able to navigate through the confusion and heartbreak and will effortlessly get the relationship you’ve always wanted.
Whether you’re involved or single as can be, here are the top four rules to live by to get the relationship you want: [continue reading…]
If I’ve learned anything over the years as a relationship writer, it’s that men and women really have no idea what the other side is thinking. Each gender also seems to have the same kinds of complaints against the other. And thus, the war of the sexes rages on!
On ANM, we spend a lot of time addressing the issues women have with their men. We talk about why guys act the way they do (we even wrote a book on it!) and uncover what’s really going on inside their thick, manly skulls.
While that’s all well and good, I’ve decided to take a different approach with this article by revealing the common complains men have against us gals (as much as we hate to admit it, we also have faults!). I’ve consulted with our resident male-mind expert, Eric Charles, as well as some of my other close guy friends to find out some universal grievances men have. I have to admit, I’m totally guilty of committing a lot of these but whatever, you live and learn!
Read on for six annoying traits guys wish girls would get rid of. [continue reading…]
I’ve been writing about relationships for a while now and can’t help but notice common themes that emerge over and over again in the questions we receive from readers. No matter what stage of life, or what stage in the relationship. most of the issues women are having are rooted in the same mistakes.
To help you break away from the pack and get on the path toward a healthier, happier relationship, I’ve identified the 12 most common relationship mistakes most women make. If you can get a handle on the things on this list, I guarantee you’ll notice your relationship drastically change for the better.
Here you go:
There are many differences between men and women, both in the way we’re designed physically and the way we process things emotionally. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that the way we view relationships is also very different. The main problem in a lot of relationships is women don’t know what men want.
While the differences may seem vast, they’re pretty simple when you break it down. Once you can understand them, you’ll have a much easier time understanding your guy and making your relationship even more amazing.
I want to preface this by saying that I know there are exceptions but for the sake of clarification, I’m going to be speaking about the way men and women are in general.
Juice fasts have been a big trend for years now, thanks in large part to celebrities who tout juice fasts as the ultimate way to drop tons of weight really quickly. I have a lot of friends who have done juice fasts and while I was always curious to try, I could never quite summon the motivation.
I had been in the initial phases of re-vamping my diet and eliminating processed foods to shift to a more plant-based diet when I got a press release asking if I’d want to try Kaeng Raeng, a vegan, gluten-free, all-natural detox cleanse.
Created by certified personal trainer Lindsay Reinsmith, Kaeng Raeng means “be healthy, be strong” in Thai. Each Kaeng Raeng pouch is a full meal replacement and contains more than a full serving of fruit and fiber, 15g of lean non-GMO protein, probiotics, essential amino acids and vitamins, so you can detox without depriving yourself of important nutrients —or of flavor. Celebrity fans include Jennifer Lopez, Alicia Silverstone, and Lauren Conrad are all fans.
I think the convenience factor is what really drew me in. There was no mess, no shopping fruits and vegetables, just a pouch you mix with water, or put into a blender with ice for a yummy smoothie.
Since I’m a newbie, I decided to do the three-day cleanse at the beginner level. Here’s how it went: [continue reading…]
One in ten Americans suffers from depression–a pretty staggering and alarming statistic. Given the current social climate, these rates aren’t all that surprising.
“Top risk factors include being unable to work or unemployed; having no health insurance; suffering from obesity,” notes psychologist Gregory L. Jantz, citing a Centers for Disease Control study.
“Unfortunately, those topics have dominated headlines for the past five years. What’s worse, by 2020, the World Health Organization estimates depression will be second most debilitating disease worldwide.”
The author of “Overcoming Anxiety, Worry and Fear,” says these negative emotions along with sustained, excessive stress can lead to depression, which now overshadows other problems for which patients seek help at his clinic.
“Depression can be rooted in a number of problems, and those need to be addressed – simply taking a pill is not usually effective treatment. Anger, fear and guilt can all be underlying causes, even when the person isn’t aware he’s experiencing those feelings.”
A holistic treatment approach, which may or may not include medication, helps people overcome a bout of the debilitating illness, and learn techniques to manage it themselves, he says.
People at risk of depression can work at maintaining their emotional equilibrium by counterbalancing negative feelings with optimism, hope, and joy. This is most effective if they do this holistically, addressing the four main categories of human need.
“By purposefully feeding the intellectual, relational, physical, and spiritual aspects of your life positive emotions, you can achieve balance,” Jantz says.
He offers these suggestions: [continue reading…]
Here are five good reasons to tackle all that clutter:
There is an epidemic that is reaching an all-time high. It’s called AA (Approval Addiction), and luckily, you can overcome in it less than 12 steps.
In this day and age, if you cook a nice dinner you take a pic and post in on Instagram; if you have a cool sense of style, you start a personal style blog; if you do a good deed, you post about it on Facebook. There is very little that’s kept private and personal and as a result, the vast majority of us have become addicted to approval.
I’m not saying I’m immune. I will admit that if I write what I consider to be a great article and it gets a lackluster response (or worse, no response at all!), I feel a little bummed. And if an article I wrote gets an extremely positive response, I’m ecstatic.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling happy when something you did gets praised. The problem emerges when you rely too heavily on the approval of others and not enough on how you feel about yourself. [continue reading…]
It’s a classic scenario most women have been in. You meet a guy, he pursues you fervently, you finally reciprocate….and he’s gone.
You can stop scratching your head in confusion. Dating coach and YourTango Expert Annie Gleason explains why men sometimes disappear once the chase seems to be over. She says that the pursuit for many men is about a goal and not necessarily a relationship. He may be interested in the process and take his time to get interested when you think there is already a full-fledged relationship.
Click over to Your Tango for he full explanation as to why men back off when you show interest.
As a fashion and beauty writer, I get all kinds of cool perks and freebies. One of the coolest offers I’ve received in a long time was a free hour-long psychic reading from Psychic Source.
I’ve had a few experiences with psychics in the past, mostly as fashion or beauty events where I had quick readings that lasted a few minutes. All of those experiences were positive and did give me interesting insights so I was really stoked to get a full hour.
I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I called in for my reading. I think I kind of envisioned her looking into a crystal ball or shuffling some cards to lay out on the table that would reveal exactly how my life was going to unfold, like they do in the movies. It didn’t quite happen that way, but I did get a lot of clarity and direction.
Here’s what went down: [continue reading…]
A few things are inevitable in life: death, taxes…. and dealing with difficult people. From work to friendships to romantic relationships, difficult interactions can hit us from all angles and can take a heavy toll on us.
A few days ago, I was doing some much needed reorganizing and I found this packet from a class I think I took many moons ago. I can’t remember who taught it, but the packet was filled with amazing and hilarious “rules” for dealing with difficult people.
Within these humorous insights are pearls of wisdom that can help you keep your cool during an argument or any other trying exchange.
I really wish I could give you the source, but no names were written on the sheet so all I have is the information. I couldn’t keep it all to myself though, so here are some amazing (and I’d even say life-changing) rules for dealing with difficult people:
Having trouble getting over your last relationship? Wondering why you can’t seem to get your ex — or the breakup — out of your mind? If so, help is on the way.
In this video, relationship coach and YourTango Expert J. Cameron Gantt shares his advice on what to do if you can’t move on from your ex. He will also help you gain clarity as to whether you should rekindle your romance or finally move on.
Click over to Your Tango to watch the video and find out why you still aren’t over your ex boyfriend.
Life can throw many challenges our way and in my experience, there are very few that are as trying and agonizing as mending a broken heart. Be it the drawn out, painful end to a long term relationship or the abrupt collapse of a relationship that was just getting off the ground, the aftermath leaves you hurting in places you didn’t even know could feel pain.
I’ve been there, you’ve probably been there, and no matter how many times you go through it, it doesn’t get easier.
We’ve covered a bevy of relationship topics on ANM over the years, but we haven’t really gone into the nitty gritty of how to heal a broken heart. It is a very important step in the finding-love equation….the sooner you can put yourself back together, the sooner you can move on and find the right relationship.
And with that, here are my tried and true steps to heal a broken heart: [continue reading…]
Winter is a rough time when it comes to fitness and healthy eating. It’s cold, it’s dark, and there’s not much motivation to hit the gym since you can hide behind layers of cozy clothing. While most people get an dose of motivation around New Year’s, according to Time Magazine, “60% of gym memberships go unused and attendance is usually back to normal by mid-February.”
So how do you kick off the new year after a holiday fueled with “one more bite”? How do you create the right environment for your body to keep up with your resolutions all year long?
The answer: Detox. (And no we are not talking about a juice cleanse!)
See below as fitness and nutrition expert Amanda Obregon gives us 7 tips on how to refresh and cleanse our bodies both through fitness and healthy eating.
I got an e-mail from a reader the other day saying: “All that is great (it was in response to a newsletter article I sent out), but what are the steps to make a man fall in love with me?!”
I had to laugh at the (seemingly) adorable naiveté of her questions. To think making a man fall in love could be reduced to a simple set of instructions!
Later in the day, I started thinking about her question a little more. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that getting a man to fall in love really can be achieved following a few simple steps. And I was instantly able to pinpoint what they are.
Here you go: [continue reading…]
So what do men love about women, really? We asked a handful of men what elicits lust, love and everything in between. What we received was an eclectic mixture of womanly charms—some we knew, some we didn’t—that cause even the most rugged of men to utter “I Love You.”
Click over to YourTango for 10 things men love about women.
A new year is upon us and with that, a time to turn over a new leaf and make some tweaks to ensure this year is better than the last.
New Year’s Resolutions are great and all, but they are usually superficial (lose weight, quit smoking, stop procrastinating, etc.) and don’t lead to lasting changes since it’s all over the first time you slip up. Getting what you really want out of life requires internal changes that in turn, change the way things work out in your life.
To help you get more happiness and satisfaction out of your life, I’ve rounded up five essential tips to help you be at your best.
The most common statement I hear during the winter months is: “I’ve never successfully gotten through a winter. I always gain weight.” It’s painstakingly true: Once the cold weather starts creeping in, so do the pounds.. and quite frankly, at this time of year, it’s much easier to hop into sweats than it is to hop on the treadmill.
But it’s permissible because nobody can see what you look like under layers of sweaters, right? WRONG! You see yourself everyday and that’s the only person you really have to answer to at the end of the day. So why not answer to a fit, healthy, happy self?
This winter, don’t put your health and fitness goals on ice, and DON’T claim to “start tomorrow” or “make it your new year’s resolution” (as we’ve all infamously exclaimed before).
Instead, replace the words “diet” with “lifestyle” and follow these 7 tips below to ensure your success. [continue reading…]
Ah, so here we are – the guy gifting. This always seems to be the hardest part about shopping for the holidays, and I’ve definitely been in this difficult spot before. But before you start freaking out and wracking your brain, let me help you with some gift ideas for the special men in your life. Shopping for the guys doesn’t have to be as hard as it seems – my tip is to start with a hobby or things he’s interested and go from there. A simple Google search can bring up a slew of ideas to help you out. And if you’re still unsure on what to get, then hopefully this list will help!
Again, I know that there are also really great grandpa’s and uncles out there, but to keep this list from going on from here to Mars I kept things basic. [continue reading…]
