Every day, I hear from women who are frustrated with their love lives. They’re smart, successful, and have so much to offer – yet they struggle to understand the men they’re with.

Why won’t he commit? Why does he need so much space? What’s really going on in his head?

I’ve been a relationship coach for over 2 decades, and I’ve heard these questions countless times.

When I first started coaching, I was surprised by how much women misunderstood about men’s emotional experiences. It wasn’t that women weren’t trying. They just didn’t have the right roadmap.

That’s why I’m writing this article. Most relationship advice is so focused on solving an immediate problem that there isn’t much great content about how to understand men.

The thing is, when you understand men better, you avoid having almost all relationship problems in the first place.

Trust me, once you see these patterns, you’ll never look at your relationships the same way again.

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My ex broke up with me last month after being together for over a year. The last few months were rough because his grandmother passed away after being in the hospital for a few months. I tried to be there for him but he totally withdrew and would reject my advances and we started fighting a lot because of it.

He told me he loves me, but felt like I was smothering him and he needed to find himself. I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that. I asked if there was a chance for us once he got things sorted and he said he isn’t sure if he sees a future. He said he worships the ground I walk on and should never change because I was perfect in the relationship and will go far in life whereas he feels like he has nothing to offer since he is grieving and stuck in a job he doesn’t like.

He suggested we stay friends but I told him that would be too hard on me and he said I can contact him anytime. I know I came across needy over the last couple of months and am wondering if there’s anything I can do to get him back. Should I text him? Try to stay friends? Is there any hope of getting him back?

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You’re trying everything to make your relationship work. You’re attentive, caring and always there for him. But something’s off. He’s pulling away, and you can’t figure out why.

I’ve seen this scenario play out countless times. Women come to me confused and hurt, wondering why their best efforts seem to backfire. They’re doing what feels right, but it’s pushing their man further away.

Here’s the truth: what many women think will draw a man closer often does the opposite. It’s not your fault – our culture doesn’t teach us how men really think and feel in relationships.

When I talk about ways women push men away, I’m not pointing fingers. I’m sharing insights I’ve gathered from years of coaching and countless real-life examples. This isn’t about making excuses for men or criticizing women. It’s about showing you what works and what doesn’t, so you can have the love life you really want.

In this article, I’ll show you 15 common behaviors that push men away. Some might surprise you. Others might feel uncomfortably familiar. But don’t worry – I’m not just highlighting problems. I’m giving you practical solutions.

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My ex and I had a perfect nine months: no fights, some arguments of course, but everything was great.

I was always worried a little about this ex girlfriend. She left him for another guy and he never got over it… or over her I guess.

When she became available again, he left me for her!  I don’t understand what happened … I just know I want him back.  What should I do?

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The first question most women ask after a breakup is: can I get my ex back? It can be hard to think of anything else when your emotions are running high and you feel like you’re still in love. But the first question you should really be asking yourself is: do I want to?

The answer to the first question is maybe. There is always a chance, but missing him isn’t enough. You can’t get back together without doing any inner work and expect things to be different. Nothing has changed on the inside, so nothing has changed on the outside, either. If you get back together just because you miss him, you’re in serious danger of getting into an endless on/off cycle, driven entirely on emotions, and you could waste years of your life.

Assuming it is a good idea to try to get him back, is it even possible? It is, and here are 12 good signs you have a shot.

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Love it or hate it,  texting is our main mode of communication these days. Given that, we basically have access to one another at all times, which can be a blessing or a curse.

When it comes to getting your ex-boyfriend back, texting can work to your advantage, making him miss you and want you back, as long as you use it wisely and know what you’re doing.

Of course, there is more to the story. You can’t just text your ex and then poof! He comes crawling back. The perfect text sent at the right time is what will pave the way for success. (If you want your ex back, you should also be sure to read this article on how to get your ex back in five steps when you’re done here.)

Texting your ex does pose a risk. The risk being that he rejects you or just doesn’t answer. You should always be prepared for that possibility and just be OK with it. If you won’t be able to handle things not turning out the way you want, then you aren’t ready to get back together with your ex in the first place and need to spend more time on your own working through things.

So let’s get into it and talk about how to get your ex back with a few simple texts:

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Breakups are never easy. Never clean-cut. Never painless. Even in the most amicable situations, there is healing to do, whether you get back together in the end or not.

A lot of the pain we experience when a relationship ends is the result of our own illusions about the relationship, about our ex, and about ourselves. Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of the self-image you created as part of a couple. And you can feel like a break-up is not only severing the relationship but also dismantling your own image of who you are as a person.

When we see relationships as a part of our identity and as something to be gained or lost, it is inevitable we will suffer when it comes to an end.

Right now, however, you might not be in a place where you can start true healing. Maybe you’re confused. Maybe you are questioning your own feelings for your ex. Maybe you are second guessing the breakup itself – thinking of scenarios where things could have gone differently.

Believe me, I get it. I’ve been there enough times – somewhere stuck between wanting him back, wanting him to want me back, and hoping for us to get back together in the future.

And it doesn’t help when your ex is sending you mixed signals.

MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You 

If you are in the same scenario, the first step towards ultimate healing could just be getting clarity on what’s happening on his side of the street.

Does he actually miss you or are your own desires or confusion clouding your judgment?

If you want to know for sure that your ex misses you and get the information you need to move forward, read the following surefire ways to tell you are still on his mind. If he checks several items on this list, he is definitely still thinking about you.

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“Nothing ends nicely. That’s why it ends.” – Tom Cruise

Who has ever had a friendly, lighthearted breakup? One where both people calmly and without emotion decided it was time to make a clean break? Closure tied up in a pretty bow?

Not anyone human. Or, at least, not any human coming out of a relationship that held any meaning for them.

Since breakups can be a whirlwind of confusion, betrayal, and heightened emotions of all kinds, figuring out how to proceed afterward can be just as tied up with angst. For the first week, you don’t even recognize the person you are. When you share your life with someone, some of your identity becomes intertwined with them. When they are gone, your whole reality shifts.

What can make that process even harder is when your ex decides to muddy the waters by showing signs he wants you back. You’re left to wonder if he’s just going through the same turmoil of the breakup you are, or if his actions are legitimate.

MORE: How to Get Your Ex Back in 5 Steps Guaranteed (With Testimonials)

If he does truly want to get back together, is that really a good idea? How do you know when, or if, you should act on some of these potential “signs?” Are they even real signs?

For advice on identifying these clues (and what to do about them), read on.

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“The hottest love has the coldest end.” -Socrates.

Breakups are never easy. In fact, knowing you might never hold the person you love again is one of the hardest things a person can do.

After a breakup, you might feel helpless and scared he’s gone forever. You may have realized you made a big mistake or wish you’d done things differently and could rewind the clock to have another chance with him.

As for him? His post-breakup behavior might be confusing. For example, on the one hand, he texts and calls you telling you how much he misses you… and on the other hand, he ignores you and purposefully posts pictures of himself with another woman on social media knowing you will see it. Or he blocks you on Facebook and then sends you an emotional text while he’s drunk one night.

You might ask yourself: “Does he still have feelings for me or not? I just want to know!”

I am going to give you the “hidden” signs that your ex does still have feelings for you.

In addition to giving you the signs, I’m going to give you tips underneath each sign so that you can have the best chance of getting him back (if this is what you want).

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The end of a relationship can stir up a variety of emotions, doubts, and fears. It can have us question our ability to find love again or even our worthiness of love in the first place.

That’s why it can be so hard to let go. We fear that the relationship we had was our one shot at true love. So, we over-analyze things. We put our ex on a pedestal. And sometimes, we hold onto “what-ifs” as an escape from the reality of what’s in front of us. I know; I’ve been there.

The truth is, the only way to get the relationship you want is to let go of the past; put down the shoulda…coulda…wouldas and trust that you have everything you need to generate love in your life in a powerful way. You can only do this, however, if you are willing to drop the stories you’ve created about how things should have happened and open yourself to the possibility of what could be next.

MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If He Says He Doesn’t)

The most important thing is to be honest with yourself first. Are you ready to move on or are you still holding onto something you no longer have? After my last relationship, this was one of the hardest questions for me to answer because I knew I had to face the fact that things were over, and it was time to move on. And fortunately, that realization was exactly what ushered new love into my life.

In order to have the relationship you desire, you must make room in your heart to receive it. When you’re filled up with thoughts, wishes, and fantasies about your last relationship, there’s little space for new love to enter.

If you are not sure if you are still hung up on your ex or if you’re ready to move on, these next 15 signs will definitely help you get clarity.

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“I’ve been seeing this guy for a little while now and it seems like sometimes he’s interested and sometimes he’s not. I feel like I don’t really have him and I feel like I don’t know how to hold his interest and make him want me more.

I notice this the most when we’re texting. Sometimes he’s there texting back and forth with me, sometimes he disappears for hours or days or doesn’t really seem to engage in the conversation.

MORE: Exactly How to Get a Guy to Text You Back

There are all kinds of videos and articles about text messages that make him want you, but a lot of the advice seems unrealistic or ridiculous. Can you tell me what works to make a man interested over text?”

What does it take to get a man to truly commit and want only you? It’s a question I’ve been asked more times than I could count.

What men desire most is a woman who inspires them to be their best self. Being that woman is a much different mindset than what most women typically do these days.

So what’s the major error that trips women up? It’s their focus. Instead of focusing on the feelings and experience they create for the man, the woman fixates on her own wants, her own worries, her own fears.

And amidst this completely self-absorbed mindset consumed by what she wants, it’s no wonder that she’s unable to hook a man’s interest in a significant way, one that goes beyond just hooking up.

Sure, that woman might cook him dinners, perform in bed, and tell him how much she likes him, but none of that stuff penetrates a man’s psychology on a deep and meaningful level.

Forget about just getting commitment. When you understand and master the art of tapping into the deep parts of a man’s psyche, he will want to move mountains to possess you.

MORE: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit to You

Men don’t start out there when they first meet a woman, though. She needs to reach him at that level by recognizing his ambitions, his fears, his motivations, his “mission” in life and where he ultimately wants to “win.”

Here are four ways to reach a man deeply and make him want to commit and devote himself fully to you. [continue reading…]

Dating isn’t always black or white, especially when it comes to exclusivity. Sometimes it can feel like you’re a couple, but you just can’t say for sure.

So how do you know if you’re an official couple yet? Is it something that must be declared on social media? Is it when the other person deletes their dating apps? Sometimes it feels like you’re exclusive, but until you have “the talk,” you can’t know for sure.

Naturally, no one loves being the first one to bring this topic up. You don’t want to come across as clingy or desperate. If things are going really well, it’s tempting to avoid any potential rocking of the boat.

MORE: How to Tell If You’re Exclusive (Without Needing to Ask)

Even with all that said… you want to know! Is he seeing other people or not? If you’re not ready to bring up the subject directly, check out these signs he’s seeing other people.

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It’s a terrible, sinking sensation, one you wish you could ignore … that feeling when you suspect your man wants to break up.

None of us want to experience that. Sometimes, our understandable reluctance ends up blinding us to the reality of a situation. It’s easier to claim you can’t tell if he wants to break up than to admit you just don’t want to see the facts.

We get it! It’s deceptively easy to slip into denial on this one.

MORE: How to Get Over Even The Worst Break Up

But by keeping yourself honest and open to seeing the truth, you do both yourself and your partner a favor. It could be that your relationship is 100% salvageable if you act now. Or maybe it’s time for you to move on to something that’s a better fit. Either way, you deserve the truth.

Here are the top 11 signs he wants to break up:

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A lot of women are afraid to compliment men because they’ve been told that it’s unattractive to show too much interest.

This just isn’t true. If a guy likes a girl and she shows interest, that’s a good thing! That makes him happy and makes him want to take things further. What’s unattractive is a needy woman who bends over backward to please a guy and prove she’s worthy of his attention because she doesn’t feel good about herself and his approval will mean she’s “worthy.”

MORE: What Men Want to Hear From Women (But Would Never Admit) 

If you like a guy and are pretending to not be interested in order to get him to like you that just tells him you’re immature and he’ll probably lose interest real quick. Now at the same time, coming on too strong and not leaving him any room to pursue you can also be a bit much so don’t take things too far.

But compliments are great. They feel great. Just think about the last time someone paid you a genuine compliment. It’s an amazing feeling.

Read on for compliments that will really reach your man and make him feel good.

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What are the signs a man wants to be with you and is serious about you?

We’ve all had this thought — I mean, no one wants to waste their time and end up broken-hearted. There is nothing worse than being blindsided, and this happens all too often. You meet a guy, let yourself be overcome by fluttery feelings and you ride a wave of high hopes for what the future will hold … only to discover he doesn’t feel the same and doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

Discovering a guy you like doesn’t like you back is crushing. Conversely, discovering a guy you like really likes you back and wants to be with you and wants a serious relationship with you is exhilarating and quite possibly one of the most amazing feelings in the world.

MORE: 5 Signs He’s Never Going to Commit 

Fortunately, there are some pretty strong telltale signs that a guy is serious about you, they’re things that pretty much all guys do when they really like a woman.

And here they are…

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Texting is our main mode of communication these days so it makes sense that’s where you would look when trying to figure out how a guy feels about you.

It’s incredibly frustrating to just sit around and wonder how he feels about you. You can see there just might be something between you but don’t quite know where he stands.

MORE: Know For Sure If He Likes You Or Not After Reading This Article

While texting is popular, it is not always clear what is being communicated. You have a disadvantage with texting because you can’t read his body language or hear the tone of his voice. You can’t pick up on subtle nuances as you can in person.

Even still, there are clear signs that he likes you that you can discover through text messages. So let’s dig in and take a closer look at the signs a guy likes you through texting.

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Here’s a common scenario: you have a guy friend who is starting to feel like more than a friend, but you’re not sure if he feels the same. As far as you’re concerned you have great chemistry, really enjoy each other, and get along great … everything just seems to click.

Maybe this is a guy you’ve known for a while, or maybe you just met him. Either way, it feels like more than friendship, at least to you. And you just want to know what’s going on and what his deal is and if he has real feelings for you as well.

You don’t want to come right out and ask because then you risk ruining the friendship and making things awkward. But you can’t quite shake the feeling that your romantic interest isn’t one-sided.

Should you get your hopes up? Here are 21 of the biggest signs that he definitely feels something more:

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In today’s world of endless social media and digital communication, sexting is more relevant than ever, and it’s an important and effective way to seduce a man.

But let’s be real, not everyone is so comfortable sending sexy texts. The big fear is coming across as awkward or desperate.

The most important rule to keep in mind when sending sexy texts is to do what feels comfortable and natural to you. This is about getting in touch with your sensuality, and sharing that with your partner (which, in turn, will get him very much in touch with his sensuality, and from there the flames of passion will really ignite!)

Your vibe is everything. If you send him a text from a place of feeling insecure and trying too hard, then he’ll feel it and will not be turned on. If you text him from a place of genuinely feeling turned on by him, then he’ll feel that too and it will create a whole different reaction!

In this article, I’m sharing specific text messages that will definitely turn your man on. There is a big variety to choose from so you can go with what feels the most natural to you, no feeling awkward or uncomfortable. Use these texts verbatim with a copy-paste job, or put your own spin on them. The most important thing to remember is to always be true to who you are!

Now let’s get to it and look at 103 sexy texts to get him in the mood: [continue reading…]

Is he into me? This is a very common question that a lot of women ask themselves. It seems straightforward, but it causes so much confusion.

Breakups can be tough. Whether it is the end of a summer romance or a five-year relationship, a break-up can leave you heartbroken and confused. As much as it hurts to see the one you love walk away, not knowing what comes next can be just as devastating.

There are so many questions you probably want answers to. What went wrong? Does he still love me? Will he ever come back?

It is so easy to get consumed by the need to know where he stands and how he feels about you. And from that place, it’s difficult to move on powerfully. Fear and uncertainty about the future can keep you stuck and prevent you from being truly committed to your quest to find lasting love.

MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You 

Knowing for sure that the relationship is over can really help to give you peace of mind. Seeing things for exactly what they are can also bring the freedom you need to move on.

To help you gain a sense of clarity, here are 15 undeniable signs that he doesn’t want you back.

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How do you know if a guy is flirting with you? Use these 21 signs!

When flirting goes well, it’s a downright euphoric feeling. It’s like a smooth game of tennis where both parties know exactly how to play in sync with each other. A lingering eye contact here, a gentle tease there. Flirting is just fun!

Before you can slip into that sweet spot, however, you might want some proof that your crush is crushing back. It’s hard to project a cool confidence when you’re desperately wondering what the other person thinks about you … and if they truly are flirting and not just being friendly.

MORE: Is He Flirting With Me? How to Know For Sure

To help you navigate those waters and turn on your most charming self, we’ve compiled a list of 21 signs that he’s flirting with you.

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Physical attraction is a pretty basic concept for both men and women to understand. It’s either there or it isn’t. Falling in lust isn’t hard to do. In fact, you can do it in just a few seconds.

But what about something deeper, something that lives below the surface of chemistry? What about falling in love?

You can’t fake that, either. If you’re not compatible with a man, don’t try and push the square peg into the round hole. It’s not only going to be dissatisfying and exhausting, but you deserve better. You deserve the real thing.

MORE: 8 Scientifically Proven Ways to Make Him Fall in Love With You

Love can’t be manipulated, but there are certainly a few things you can do to help move things in the right direction. We’ve made a list of 13 of those tips below.

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Signs Of A Cheater … And How To Tell If He’s Cheating On You

“It might sound ordinary for a woman to find out her husband’s cheating on her, but not if you’re the woman and it’s your husband.” – Melissa Bank

Wondering whether or not your guy is cheating is a terrible position to be in. If you are questioning him, there’s probably a good reason for it. Women tend to have a powerful gut instinct in this area, even before they consciously acknowledge it. Don’t let anyone convince you that you’re “crazy” for having suspicions.

At the same time, previous bad experiences or stories can sway your judgment. Also, if the man you’re with has cheated in the past, you won’t be able to help being on high alert.

MORE: Is He a Cheater? 15 Definite Signs He’s Cheating

It’s challenging to be objective when looking at your own situation. If you’re struggling to see things from an outside perspective, check out our list of ten of the top signs he’s cheating.

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You’re on a date, everything is going great, but then the conversation just stops and an awkward silence ensues. One of you sheepishly says: “So, anyway…” but you’re just kind of stuck and a painful silence lingers in the air.

You may get inundated with the following questions, either on the date or after:

“Should I have said something different?”

“I wonder what he thought about the story I told.”

“I have to keep talking he’s being so quiet this is horrible.”

“What if I made him uncomfortable when I said I don’t like XYZ?”

“What if I scared him away because of that awkward pause?”

“Wait, is it bad if I text him? Was I boring? Did he think I was funny and exciting?”

“Oh man, this is not good. This conversation is actually painfully boring and impossible to continue.”

This is a common experience. Awkward silences can be brutal. We’ve all dealt with an anxiety-inducing awkward silence at one point in our lives. Even worse, they seem to happen more with people we just meet and more so with someone we want to make a good impression on.

MORE:  225 Amazing Questions to Ask a Guy

Don’t worry… I’m giving you specific strategies you can use so that you never have to worry about running out of things to say on a date.

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Is it really over with your ex… or is there still a chance you can get him back?

When things go bad in a relationship there might be a chance it can be worked out, but this requires you both to work together. When that isn’t going to happen because one or both of you isn’t sufficiently invested, you need to accept that it’s over, it can’t be fixed, and you have to move on.

Breakups are almost always incredibly painful, but they can be especially painful if you keep hanging on and hoping he’ll change his mind. When this happens you don’t get the closure you need.

Sometimes the best way to free yourself and move on is knowing with 100% clarity that he’s moved on and it’s truly over.

MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You 

If there’s no chance and no hope of you getting back together, this mentally frees you to move on and eventually find someone new, someone better suited for you.

But how can you know for sure that it’s really over? Here are the signs that make it crystal clear your ex has moved on and it’s really over for good. [continue reading…]

How Do You Get Someone To Like You?

“A great figure or physique is nice, but it’s self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.” – Vivica A. Fox

There is no greater high than being liked by someone you like. This is why it can be so scary to have feelings for someone. The stakes are high and the fear of them not feeling the same way is downright terrifying.

The truth is, we can’t ever fully control how someone feels about us. There are just so many variables that go into what draws someone to you. It doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships, this is true of friendships as well. Think about all the people you’ve met throughout your life. Of those people, a few become your friends, and a very select few become your best friends.

MORE: How to Know if a Guy Likes You For Sure 

There isn’t much that you do, it just evolves. You can’t force friendships and you can’t force romantic relationships. However, you can do certain things to be more likable in general, which can help get you the outcome you want. If you master the techniques in this article and your love remains unrequited, then at least you know there was nothing else you could have done.

Here’s a list of 26 of the ways to make someone like you.

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How can you know if the guy you’re with is never going to settle down with you?

You don’t want to rush him, but you don’t want to waste your time, either. It’s a scary concept because if you’re impatient you could lose a guy who might be “the one,” but if you’re too patient you could lose years of your life with someone who might be everything you’ve ever wanted, but he doesn’t want you back.

If he’s showing several of the following signs, he may settle down one day, but it probably won’t be with you.

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Looking for the perfect cute things to say to your boyfriend? Here’s the best list of questions you can ask your bf to melt his heart!

What’s in a question?

A lot actually! The right questions can really help you get to know someone in a fun, invigorating way. It can take your conversations to a new level and breathe new life into your relationship by giving you something else to talk about aside from how your day was.

We have all sorts of great questions articles on ANM, and this time we’re focusing on couples and cute questions to ask your guy enhance those lovey feelings that make everything worth it.

MORE: 225+ Amazing Questions to Ask a Guy: The Ultimate List

And with that, here is our list of the best “cute” questions to ask your boyfriend.

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