I have been dating a guy for six months, but we’re not official. I like him a lot and really enjoy spending time with him and I know he feels the same about me.  Since we both have busy work schedules and children, we do not see each other often, maybe every other week, and we’ve taken two trips together (including one last weekend). In between seeing each other i person, we text and e-mail sporadically. 

I’m just wondering if this relationship is heading in the right direction, and if it will lead to something lasting. I am also worried about coming across as needy and sometimes I hesitate to initiate texts with him. For instance, is it needy behavior to send the text: “Thank you for yesterday – I like when we see each other, it feels good”?

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Last week, I was witness to an event that has shocked and awed the few men that have had the great, great privilege of observing it. I saw the mind of a girl work as she received texts from her current love interest. It was incredible. I had been hypothesizing what it is that girls think we’re actually doing on the other end of that phone and finally someone pulled the curtain back and allowed me to meet Oz…Oz was a girl. Oz was very confused.

It began Friday night. I crashed at my cousin’s place for the night in Williamsburg and she and her roommate had gone out and done Williamsburg things like drank alcoholic beverages and told boys to go away. That is, until one boy approached the roommate (let’s call her Mel), and Mel did not ask the boy to leave.

Fast-forward through what I could only imagine was heavy bar flirting, them making several plans to hang out the next day, and eventually a semi-awkward goodbye of her telling him no, he can’t come home with her, and then it’s the morning after…and the texting began. And as a guest in the house of these rambunctious 20-something females, I had backstage passes to the show. [continue reading…]

When I meet a guy I like, all I can think about is when he will walk away/get tired of me/declare he doesn’t give a hoot about me. I also keep thinking: How soon before he sees I am not that great a catch?

But with the guys I totally don’t want, I am subconsciously aware this person would be in it for the long haul without me constantly having to prove my worth. Perhaps in those situations, I totally relax and give off a different vibe.

Basically, once I like a man, all I can think about is how much time do I have before everything shatters? A day, a week, a month? I immediately start waiting for the end. Maybe some part of me is tensed up the whole time waiting for him to leave. When I meet a guy I like,

How can I fix this? How can I change my vibe so the guys I like will like me back?

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After scanning the comments on A New Mode, I have noticed a very common topic in almost every discussion. Somehow we always manage to fit Facebook into all relationship/hookup/guy-meets-girl talks. I understand it. The image we portray to the world is now through statuses and pictures.  But how does that fit into our special, or not so special, someone?

I am happy to do my best to shed light on how to navigate the complicated world of The Facebook with the first ever ultimate Facebook rule book!

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It’s been one month since my boyfriend and I broke up.  The other day I learned that he put up an online dating profile- wth?!  I am still going through the phases of our breakup and I can’t even fathom the idea of meeting and talking to a new guy right now. It may seem the norm that guys will do this to avoid their feelings–get sex, boost ego–but it hurts.

Why do guys do this? Why do they seem to get over breakups so much faster than women?

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Attention all girls/ladies/women/anyone with girly parts that’s ever been taken out by a guy with….guy parts: repeat after me – “Thank you.”

These two words, if not used on a date or shortly after, can and even should be a deal breaker for the guy who is taking you out.  It has been known since times of the ancient Egyptians (all historical references will be fictional) that a man’s job is to pay.  We get that.  Thousands of years of tradition, lectures from mom and dad, unsolicited dating advice from friends have been heard.  All of us normal members of the male species have read and checked the box for the terms of agreement.  Now it is your turn. [continue reading…]

I met a guy two weeks ago and we instantly hit it off. We talked on the phone and texted regularly and went out on a few amazing dates. Everything seemed to be going well but then he had to go out of the country for a business trip.

I didn’t expect to hear from him while he was away, but he’s been back for three days now and I haven’t heard a peep!

If he wasn’t interested why not just tell me instead of pulling a vanishing act? This isn’t the first time I dated a guy and things were going great and then he fell off the face of the earth and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. I am a confident, non-needy woman, I didn’t place any expectations or demands on this newest guy.

I just don’t understand, what happened, what changed? How could he go from being so interested in me to gone? And do you think it’s worth it for me to send him a friendly text to see how he responds?

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I’ve been in an open relationship for the past two years and lately my boyfriend seems to have lost interest in sex. He is always saying he is too tired or busy. I try to be patient and understanding because we both have stressful jobs, but it has been two months. Whenever I bring up the topic he accuses me of only wanting sex as if that is the only thing that would make me happy. He still tells me he loves me and we still hang out, but I always feel miserable in the end. I don’t know what to do anymore, why isn’t he sexually attracted to me like he used to be and how do I fix it?

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I met this guy through some friends and started liking him. He liked the girl that introduced us and she also liked him. One night we were hanging out and  he and I almost hooked up. He told her so they are no longer friends due to her lack of trust in him, but now several months later he and I have been getting together almost every night. I finally told him that I like him and wanted it to be more and his response was reasonably better than I hoped for and he said he “kinda likes” me. I told him that I didn’t want to be just a “booty call” and he said he’s not like that, but he won’t make it more.

Now he won’t talk to me– no calls, texts, facebook messages, or emails.  How do I get him to make it more than just “friends-with-benefits” or even go back to being just friends?

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I have known this guy for two years now. We started off as friends, had a bit of a romance, then broke up and we are now starting to be friends again.

I feel like I was always the one who was more invested in the relationship. He is very guarded and emotionally unavailable and has past issues that he doesn’t want to confront. So my question is, how do I support him with that kind of a baggage as a friend now? How can I make him understand that even though we are starting fresh, we still have a past and some things could come back to us in the future unless we solve them now? And how can I maintain my confidence and self-respect now and not get emotionally swept away again, like I did before?

We have come far and I never thought it would be possible to try and be friends again after a romantic history, but I also want to avoid making the same mistakes I did before. What should I do?

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I was dating this guy for a few months and things were great. He was fresh out of a relationship when we met and told me off the bat he wasn’t looking for anything serious. After three months, I got sick of this arrangement and called things off. A few days later, I asked if he wanted to hang out as friends. We had an amazing time and he ended up apologizing and asking to date me again.

Things were even better this time around. He opened up even more and talked to me about his issues and insecurities. Then he ended it again saying things were only going to get more serious and he couldn’t handle it.  After that we would hook up here and there but I wasn’t comfortable with the situation and said we should stop being friends with benefits and just be friends.

We still hang out here and there and text periodically. Every time we see each other we have an amazing time and I feel like we really connect. The problem is he tries to hook up with me when we hang out and I don’t want to do that unless we’re back together.

I was hoping that by staying friends he would be reminded of how well we click and was hoping he’d get over his issues. This plan doesn’t seem to be working, though. Part of me feels like he senses on some level that we’d be great together, but I also feel like if he was going to come back he would have done it by now. Will he ever come back and commit or am I wasting my time?

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How do you find the perfect romantic gift for your man? Just ask him.

This year, we did the next best thing. We partnered with TiVo and enlisted our most trusted guy friends & bloggers to share what’s on their holiday wish lists. Here are 6 gift recommendations that will have him fa-la-la-la-falling for you hard.

Read the rest over at Your Tango- The 6 Best Gifts for Men…According to Actual Men

More from Your Tango:

10 Romantic Gifts For Him (That Aren’t Cheesy)

7 Sex Positions Men Love

Is This Favorite Pastime Ruining Your Relationship?

I really like this guy who I met through mutual friends. Since we’re in similar social circles, we see each other kind of often. I feel like I’ve been a bit stand-offish with him because I get nervous around him and I’m afraid he’s gonna think it means I’m not interested.

I just want to know how to show him enough interest so he asks me out, but not so much that it’s obvious because I know that’s a turn-off. Any advice??

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You guys talk a lot about being the prize and while I agree with the idea, I find it really difficult when it comes to guys I really like. I’m not much into rules and seriously hate any type of action that is not authentically me. But exactly HOW do you remain the prize when the fear takes hold?

And to be the prize, does he have to feel like he’s in competition with other men? Everyone says men love the chase, is this true? If so, how can I get him to chase me without being obvious?

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A few days back, I was at Aroma Cafe waiting for my large coffee to appear when I overheard one woman lamenting to her friend…
At one point she said, “I mean, how could he say that?  He’s supposed to love me unconditionally.”

OK, full stop.

First off, whenever I hear that someone is supposed to do anything in a relationship, an alarm goes off in my head.  The phrase “supposed to” is basically the same as saying the word “should”: it’s a poisonous word for relationships.

It has a tone of blaming, shaming and coercing the other person to do what you want them to do… or else.

More importantly, when I heard her say that he’s supposed to “love her unconditionally,” I thought to myself, “Wait… do women seriously think that?” [continue reading…]

I’m in my late twenties and have never been in a long term relationship. I’ve dated plenty of guys and have had a few boyfriends but all those relationship last maybe three months max. I don’t know if it’s me or if I’m just picking the wrong guys.

I’m at a point in my life where I really feel ready to settle down. I’m just afraid that I’m never going to find a guy who will truly commit to me. What do you think it takes to have a successful relationship that really lasts?

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I’ve read a lot of your articles about how important it is for a guy to treat you like a priority instead of an option, and how a woman has to be the prize…. I’m just kind of confused as to how to do this.

How do you show him that you have options so that he sees you as the prize? I just don’t understand how to do this without coming right out and saying it. [continue reading…]

This summer, it was particularly difficult being single, even for someone like me, who has always embraced being the “single” girl among my group of close girlfriends. For the past three months, I’ve attended three different weddings and witnessed some of my best friends get married.  But as I stood by the altar, overjoyed and excited for my friends’ new lives, I couldn’t help feel alone.  I also want someone to share happy and sad moments with; someone who will inspire me and be challenged by me.

But instead of comparing lives and playing the grass is always greener, I compiled a list of reasons (freedoms!) why you should enjoy flying solo and appreciate moments of solitude. [continue reading…]

I’ve been seeing a guy for about six months now. Everything in the relationship is great- we get along, we have fun together, we just get each other. The only thing is he won’t commit to me. He said he wasn’t hooking up with anyone else, only me, but he’s not ready to use titles.  I know his last relationship ended badly, so that might be part of it. I just don’t get it, the relationship is so great in every way aside from this.

How do I get him to commit to me? [continue reading…]

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Things are great aside from the fact that we fight a lot. He loves me, is dedicated to me (and I to him), but sometimes it doesn’t feel like we vibe on the same page.

First, I like to talk about whatever is bothering me and he doesn’t. When I tell him I need more emotional support and he says I’m being needy and unreasonable. He tells me it isn’t his job to maintain my emotions or my happiness.

Second, there are money issue (he works full time and I’m a full time student/working part time). He’s stingy with spending any money on me. He makes comments like “I don’t really feel like spending money for both of us” or “It’s my money and I earned it.” I’m not a gold digger or high-maintenance, but a gesture of love like a card saying sweet things would mean a lot.

I can deal with not getting gifts and such, but being treated like a financial burden sucks and feeling like I’m stuck alone without his support hurts. I don’t know how to get through to him, we’re both stubborn. We love each other and want to make this work though.

How can we solve these relationships problems and stop fighting so much?

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Me and my bf are finally back together after a 3 month breakup. We’re both trying to be normal and go back to the way things were. He tells me he loves me when he’s sober, but I don’t feel it like I used to before we broke up.

The other night he was drunk and texted me saying he loves me and misses me and will love me more when he’s back home in two weeks and went on and on. The next morning I asked if he meant everything he texted and he said  “yes, a drunk man means whatever he says.” I asked the same question to all my male friends and got mixed replies and now I’m more confused.

Do men really speak the truth while they’re drunk or is it just BS? [continue reading…]

There’s nothing I love more than having a special date night with my guy.  It’s the perfect time to catch up and unwind without any distraction and a great way to reconnect with each other after a crazy work week.  More often than not we check out a new restaurant, grab a retro cocktail at one of our favorite bars, or head to a viewing of that new movie we’ve been dying to see.  But sometimes there’s nothing better than switching it up and staying in the comforts of your own home. Yes, it doesn’t necessarily sound all that exciting, but some of my best date nights have been of the stay in kind.

Here are some of my favorite, easy tips to make your night unique and memorable:

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As Shakespeare eloquently says in one of his famous sonnets,” By chance or natures changing course untrimm’d; By thy eternal summer shall not fade.” Whether you’re single or in a relationship, the summertime is the chance to make memorable and take your budding romance to the next level. And with a number of free outdoor activities and events happening across the country, you’ll not only woo your other half, but make new memories together.

Try one of these fun date ideas for a hot rendezvous:

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I was friends with this guy for 6 years (and nothing more) until recently – he’s now my boyfriend.  He’s not mean, but he just never says or does anything nice.

What I don’t understand is I’m way out of his league – I’m very attractive, have an outstanding degree and a high-profile career.

He just does not appreciate me. I’m convinced he’s using me for sex. He never makes time for me, claiming he’s busy, but he will go out with his friends. And the last three times we met we had sex in the car. Gosh I’m disgusting.

How do I get away from him? Honestly his dismissive ways are so attractive to me.

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I’ve been seeing this guy who I really like for about two weeks now. He really is the perfect guy and has everything I want in a guy. I haven’t had much luck with men so I’m really excited about him, maybe too excited. I’d wish I could spend all my time with him and I’m scared of seeming too needy or desperate. I’m trying to stay in control and not text him more than twice a day or nag him on messenger if he doesn’t want to talk for very long.

The only thing is, I’m afraid I’m holding back too much. He actually once pointed out that I’m kind of distant with him him. I’m also afraid of appearing too needy. What should I do? I really don’t want to lose him.  [continue reading…]

I been talking to a guy for a little over a month now and he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. I’m in college and when we’re at school we spend a lot of time together. I decided to have sex with him just before we went home for winter break.

He acted normal for the first week after we slept together, texting and calling regularly but then things started to changes around the third week of the break and he was barely making contact. Also, about a week after we had sex I asked him if he sees this going anywhere and he replied “Idk yet.” I didn’t respond. I’m so confused by his behavior. Did sex ruin us? What should I do now? [continue reading…]

OK… I’m confused. How do you get a guy to text you back?

The guy I’ve been dating for the last two months used to text me back right away whenever I texted him. He would send me sweet messages, he’d never leave me hanging, and he seemed really into me.

However, for the last two weeks I feel like something changed. Now there have been times where he won’t text me for a day or two and when we do text, I feel like it’s always me initiating the conversations. It went from him showering me with attention and affection to him not responding to texts for hours.

I don’t know what changed but I have this horrible feeling I screwed something up or maybe I’m bugging him. I’ve eased up on the texts (just in case I was overwhelming him), but for the times I really want to hear from him can you tell me how to get him to text me back?

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There’s nothing better than an evolving relationship and that point when you start spending more time at each other’s places.  And a lot of times, that involves the girl spending more time at her beau’s place, which always brings up the dreaded new relationship dilemma: leaving necessities at his place.

You’re not ready to move in, but you’re past the occasional sleep over and you start craving the simple things in life that you’ve become so accustomed to.  It’s now time to start leaving things at his place.

Here are 5 tips to help you do just that without freaking him out.

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for the past year and nine months. We have been in a long distance relationship for the last three months.

Prior to being in a LDR, we did everything together – we would see each other almost every day and talk all the time. We were always comfortable together and the relationship was always very loving.

Recently, I have started to fear that he’s slipping away. I can’t tell if it’s just me being crazy or if this is my instincts picking up on him losing interest… Can you please tell me how to make a long distance relationship work?

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