EDITORS NOTE: A little while back, I saw a friend who I hadn’t seen in months and was stunned by what I saw. In a few short months, my petite friend lost an enormous amount of weight.  Naturally, my first question was how she did it and I have to say, I was even more stunned by her response: Weight Watchers. I knew she had been struggling with her weight for quite some time and had tried everything to get rid of the excess baggage on her small frame to no avail. Not only was she able to surpass her weight loss goal by following the Weight Watchers system, she did it without depriving herself and while still eating all the foods she enjoys (in moderation, of course). I know many women face the same struggles as my friend,  so I asked her to write about her experience with the program.

I have been trying to get back my old body since my sudden 30-pound college weight gain. I am very short and it used to be that I was always small, so when I gained all that weight it was a shock to my system, as well as my family and friends.

I gained that weight five years ago, and though I was able to lose some of it after college, most of it decided to stay with me. During these years I was always trying to lose weight but never actually losing or keeping off a substantial amount. I constantly worried about what I was eating and my need for exercise. When I did exercise or diet, I could not stick to a routine and did not see motivating results. [continue reading…]

So many of us strive to lead healthier, happier lives – in a variety of ways.  We modify our diets, take supplements, join the gym and spend a phenomenal amount of money each year on products and services that make us feel better.  But unless you’re getting a good night’s rest, it can all be for nothing.  It’s no secret that sleep deprivation can cause irritability, poor judgment, premature aging of the skin… but it can lead to much worse things.  Several studies have shown that long term it can cause illness, both physical and mental.  A proper night’s sleep is the cornerstone around which you should build the rest of your healthy lifestyle. [continue reading…]

We’ve all heard the same old song and dance about how beauty takes work and of course that famous little rhyme- ‘no pain no gain.’ Okay in some regards this is correct, like waxing for instance. In other areas, however, you don’t need to kill yourself or break the bank to look amazing. Looking great doesn’t only come down to what you wear or the products you use, it’s also about your attitude and the way you treat yourself.

Read on for 4 life-changing perils of advice guaranteed to deliver a more beautiful, confident, radiant YOU.

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At ANM, we are always trying ti encourage our reader’s to find fulfillment and happiness in all areas of their lives. If you read our Relationship or Lifestyle sections, you’ve learned how important it is to fill your life with meaningful activities, especially when it comes to finding happiness, building confidence and having the kind of relationship you want.

One of my main outlets is writing (even though it’s also what I do for work). Writing has enormous therapeutic benefits and can also get your creative juices flowing (always an awesome feeling). Whether you have aspirations of becoming a writer or not, I definitely think you should take the time to check out Voices In Space, a free literary forum on which writers—no matter how experienced– may post their work and get feedback from a wide array of impartial critics, i.e., the community of users.

Authors also have the ability to workshop their writing on the site, track the evolution of their writing, and gauge how changes to a work are received by their audience. [continue reading…]

A New Mode is officially three years old. I honestly can’t believe how fast the time has gone, it seems like only yesterday that Eric and I were sending e-mail blasts about the site to every single person we knew (and begging them to send blasts to everyone they knew!) to spread the word, while refreshing Google Analytics every 30 seconds to see how many visitors hit the site. These days, our readership has happily expanded way beyond our friends and families and instead of being a side project, ANM has turned into our sole project.

My mission in starting the site was to help our readers become the best versions of themselves and in the process, I have undergone a profound transformation of my own. Along the way, I have learned so much about life, love, happiness, health, and– thanks to Ask a Guy–a LOT about men.

The other day I was reflecting upon how much I’ve learned (and how badly I wish I knew all these things sooner!) and realized that sharing these insights would be the perfect way to celebrate our birthday. [continue reading…]

Earlier this year, in Bloomington, Indiana, Adam Sarnecki confronted a man breaking into a parked car. In a panic, the criminal shot and killed Adam.

Imagine the shock, anger and resentment you would feel if a similar injustice happened to one of your friends or family members. Perhaps you already know.

Remarkably, the father of the victim, Ron Sarnecki, responded to this tragedy with profound love and understanding. Although he was extremely upset about losing his son, Ron told reporters that he forgave the killer.

You may find it difficult to identify with this reaction, but there is a critical lesson to be learned here. Despite undergoing the traumatic experience of losing his son, Ron Sarnecki is now on his way toward a peaceful life. He has learned to forgive.

At some point, we’ve all been wronged. Perhaps you were in an abusive relationship or a friend turned her back on you, and you’ve carried bitterness and resentment with you ever since. You likely had no choice in what happened to you, but here’s the good news: you do have a choice in how you react to this adversity and how you will live the rest of your life. Is it time to release the heavy burdens of anger and bitterness that have weighed you down for so long? Is it time to forgive like Ron Sarnecki did?
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“Ugh, I hate my thighs.”

“I really need to go on a diet.”

“I wish I had your arms.”

If those comments sound familiar, then you’re no stranger to fat talk.

Fat talking—the tendency to make negative comments about our bodies—is a tried-and-true staple of female culture. Today, researchers are just beginning to study why we do it and how it affects the way we feel about our bodies and ourselves.

In the early 90s, anthropologist Mimi Nichter, Ph.D., unexpectedly stumbled onto fat talk while she was studying teen girls. During a series of focus groups, she noticed that they all reported a familiar ritual: One girl would say, “I feel so fat,” and the other would respond with, “You’re not fat!” The exchange was a normal part of daily life; the girls repeated it over and over throughout the day.

Once Nichter started listening for fat talk (a term she coined), she realized the ritual was commonplace, peppering many women’s conversations.

Chances are, you’re one of those women. [continue reading…]

It’s the stuff of countless romance films and perfume commercials: An insanely alluring woman walks into a room (almost comically slowly) and all eyes turn to her. The gentlemen present are so compelled by her charms that they immediately abandon their dates and rush to her side. Women want to be her and men want to be with her.

Now let’s get real. While we may idolize aloof Angelinas on the silver screen, in our everyday lives, it’s the friendly, girl-next-door Jennifers who we’re truly drawn to.

So what exactly are those seemingly intangible qualities that make a woman seem to light up a room? Obviously, we can’t deny that beauty is a major factor. But there are plenty of charismatic people that we’re inexplicably drawn to even though they’re not a 10 (or even a 6) in the looks department. Bill Clinton certainly springs to mind as does, say, Lady Gaga.

With that in mind, we wanted to find out what exactly charisma is and why we’re so captivated by the most charming person in the room. More importantly, is charisma something you’re simply born with or can you learn to exude charm?
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Jean finally receives the news she has been waiting for. However, she’s immediately disappointed – if she accepts her new promotion, she must move farther north, where the winters are long and frigid. She was hoping her promotion would allow her to stay in a warm climate. Jean can’t imagine being happy in such harsh weather. After much deliberation, Jean decides that she will not accept the promotion.

We all know that our decisions today will impact our happiness in the future. If this is true, what influences our daily decision-making? The answer is our predictions of our future happiness. In the above scenario, Jean decides to not accept her job promotion because she predicts that she won’t enjoy her life in a place with such cold weather. But how will Jean ever know if she made the right decision? What if this promotion would have led to an upper management position? What if she would have acclimated to the harsh weather after just a year or two? Each day we make decisions based on how happy we expect to feel in the future. Let’s take a closer look at how we make such happiness predictions.

QUIZ: How Happy Do You Feel?

It may surprise you to learn that, like Jean, people are not very good at knowing how happy they will feel in future situations. Indeed, many scientific studies suggest that people overestimate how unhappy they will feel if something bad happens1.

For example, one study asked participants to predict how unhappy they would feel two months after the end of a romantic relationship. When that time arrived, the study results showed that people had predicted that they would be less happy than they actually were. In another study, women overestimated how unhappy they would be after receiving unwanted results from a pregnancy test. When a negative event occurs, we often end up feeling less upset than we originally expected. Why does this happen? The difficulty is that our happiness predictions are biased. Awareness of these biases allows us to make better decisions on important matters such as our choice of romantic partners, where to live, and how we pursue happiness.
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Summer is a glorious time. The sun is shining, trees are blooming and perpetual cold weather-induced frowns slowly make the climb to blissful smile. However, it’s also a million degrees and feeling sexy and beautiful when you’re sweaty and sticky and icky can be near impossible!

Fear not. You can stay cool and look hot even in the face of the most sweltering conditions. Just follow these top tricks of the trade. [continue reading…]

Over the years I’ve been in my fair share of relationships. I’ve also been what felt like the third party in many of my friends’ relationships as I used my years of wisdom to help them through every step of their relationships. There is one key ingredient that will determine the success, or failure, of a relationship. When I look back at the times when I’ve struggled and felt tortured trying to figure out why guys act the way they do, and when I see my friends in similar predicaments, one major and fundamental issue is invariably at the heart of the matter.

Eric and I dish out a lot of relationship advice on this site. We help you understand why that guy who seemed so into you at first is suddenly acting shady or why the guy that acts like you’re boyfriend won’t just call you his girlfriend. While we’re happy to supply you with these explanations, we’d be remiss if we didn’t cover one fundamental truth about relationships: you will never find love with another until you find it within yourself.

I know, it’s one of those facts that makes you roll your eyes but in truth, it makes all the difference in the world. When you love yourself, you don’t care why he’s being shady and blowing you off or why he won’t just put a label on it because you know your worth and your value. You won’t even need to call up your loyal girlfriends and listen to them tell you that you can do so much better than him because it’s a freakin’ given! [continue reading…]

The days of hiding behind piles of cozy layers are far behind us. Summer is here and the motivation to get killer bikini-worthy abs is at an all-time high. I am a huge yoga proponent and am continually amazed by how noticeably toned I become after only a few sessions. Yoga doesn’t only target superficial abdominals, but the deeper core muscles that are often neglected with traditional exercises.

To help you get sculpted summer abs, YogaWorks instructor Sadie Nardini has shared three quick poses designed to reach all six abdominal muscles and effectively transform and firm your mid-section. [continue reading…]

Do you have a designer satchel filled with Post-its of illegible scribbled notes to yourself on them? Scraps of paper, or napkins (gasp!), with phone numbers jotted? Business cards scattered about? Or, do you have so much on your plate that you feel an impending sense of doom because you barely have time to breath?

You’re overworked, super busy, and plain simple, unorganized. Put your Blackberry down. Take a breath. You know what, maybe even grab a manicure. Then follow my five steps to organization, to go from pull-your-hair-out crazed to experiencing a sense of normalcy. You’ll be surprised by how productive you can be and how much you can do without feeling like, well, a crazy person. [continue reading…]

Super Bowl  Sunday is a day for commercials you actually want to watch, over-hyped halftime performances and unhealthy snacks galore– oh yeah, and football! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re body doesn’t care if it’s the Super Bowl and those calories will count just as much as they would on any other day.

Fortunately, you can get the best of both worlds and enjoy delicious appetizers without the guilt with the help of celebrity personal trainer and wellness guru David Kirsch. David has committed himself to helping others achieve a balance of mind, body and spirit and is the author of three best-selling books filled with yummy recipes and invigorating workouts.

To help you stay on track this year, David has provided six delicious and nutritious recipes that can seamlessly replace those old Super Bowl standbys. [continue reading…]

I don’t really know how and why I started collecting quotes . It just kind of happened and then soon enough I was carrying around a beaten up notebook with my everywhere in case I read of heard something inspiring. And when the notebook was almost full, I typed up all the quotes and made a nice categorized, color-coded word document to house them all.

The quote-collecting started when I was 14 and over a decade later it continues. My quote collection has helped me get through the bad and learn to really see and appreciate the good- breakups, breakdowns, identity questions, regrets, triumphs, tragedies, you name it and I have a quote that will help you get a better grip on it, some with laughter and others with immense wisdom.

Winter is here, the temperature is frigid, darkness comes way too early and a whopping case of seasonal affective disorder is all but inevitable. To help make these sad days a little shinier, I’ve decided to share some of my all time favorite quotes. Enjoy! [continue reading…]

By now, you’re probably on New Year’s resolution overload. Everywhere you look you see ads, magazines, and busses telling you how to be the “new you in the new year.” The pressure is on and many of us crack.

Don’t get me wrong, having a goal and trying to stick to it is quite a feat in itself because you’re hopeful, while some drown in self-deprecation . However, what’s the point of aiming for an end result when: 1. It will make you miserable in the process 2. You’re not 100 percent committed to it 3. It just won’t last? Isn’t the point of having a resolution in the first place because you want to improve who you are to be happier and healthier?

My motto for resolutions: Think big, start small and stick with it. Here are 5 resolutions that you may have already broken and what you can do to fix it—it’s never too late! [continue reading…]

A new year is almost upon us. It’s a time to look back and reflect and look forward with optimistic lenses in the hopes of making this next year better than the last.

While you may have already decided on your New Year’s resolution, I have three more that you should definitely consider adding to the list. [continue reading…]

I am definitely not perfect, nor is anyone else out there. However, I am someone with a vested interest in improving myself and finding ways to live a happier, more meaningful life. I know what it’s like for things to seriously suck. I know what it is to feel like the world is conspiring against you. I also know that changing the way you think about yourself and carry yourself in the world can have an enormous impact on your life as a whole.

I have thought a lot about the idea of bad habits to stop and good ones to adopt (no, I’m not talking about things like smoking, eating fast food, biting your nails, etc).  It isn’t always easy, but I do it and in turn, I have seen some pretty incredible results.

Read on to learn how to improve your life and happiness with a few minor adjustments! [continue reading…]

Repeatedly at clients’ homes, I request certain items to use for de-cluttering or organization or just getting things together. People don’t seem to have these things, preventing tasks and projects both small and large from getting done. No judgment here- not everyone has everything at all times. To help get everybody in order, I have compiled a brief list of items every home should have. See how many you’ve already got and add the rest if you don’t have them.

Here they are: [continue reading…]

If you follow us on Twitter, then you know that I recently went on an incredible 2 week roadtrip through the South. The entire experience was amazing, so much so I’d even go so far as to say everyone should do at least one road trip in their lifetime. It’s such a thrilling and enlightening experience to see different parts of the country, or even the world for the more ambitious traveler. As someone who had hardly ventured passed the confines of the northeast her entire life, save for a few trips to Cali, being in the South with a culture shock in the best of ways.

In addition to having the time of my life, I also learned quite a bit about road trips in general and how to do them the right way. Whether a road trip is imminent or just a fleeting fantasy, something you’d like to try or something you’d like to do again, I think you’ll find some value in my findings. [continue reading…]

It’s not too late to meet that summer goal of yours! When you feel that diet and exercise just aren’t enough, detoxing is a great way to boost your efforts and reset your body. While there are hundreds of different ways to go about detoxing, the below two options are especially helpful, and fairly easy to follow. So whether you want to jump start a new diet, cleanse yourself of all the toxins you acquired over the summer, or just feel better all around – detoxing is the way to go.

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Festival season is in full swing. Next up: Lollapalooza! And with a killer lineup and headliners such as Arcade Fire, Green Day, Soundgarden, The Strokes, and Lady Gaga, this one might be the best and most anticipated festival yet.

As anyone who follows us on Twitter knows, I am a major music fiend and thus, there are no words to convey how excited I am to be attending Lollapalooza for the first time. As a pre-show warm up, I put together a list of some of the bands I’m most excited to see and the songs I’m most looking forward to hearing.

Whether you’re going to Lolla and want to get more familiar with the music you’ll be hearing, wish you were going to and need some amazing tunes to ease the pain of not being there, or just want some new music for your ipod, you need to check out this list!
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‘Tis the season for us regular folks to have our red-carpet moments- proms, weddings, graduation parties, a big event is the greatest motivation to get into shape and look and feel your best. And even if you don’t have a big party coming up, swimsuit season is right around the bend.

Oz Garcia is a world renowned nutritionist who has attracted a loyal celebrity following for one major reason: he knows exactly he knows exactly how to get and keep the perfect body.

To help you prep properly for your big day, whatever the occasion may be, he has provided some amazing diet tips as well as a step-by-step breakdown of what  to do the night before and day of a big event to ensure you look and feel your best.

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If you know me, or follow our twitter account, then you know that I am absolutely fanatical about music. Nothing lights me up, exhilarates, or gets me going like a truly gorgeous song. I have also cultivated a knack for creating playlists and recommending music and have been getting tons of requests.

In what will go down as one of the greatest things to ever happen to me, American Express decided to send me to Coachella, a massive music festival taking place in CA featuring the most insane roster I have ever seen. (In case you don’t follow our tweets, I recently started consulting on the new Amex Zync card along with a bunch of other bloggers and writers.) I am honestly bursting at the seams with excitement, it’s at a level that mere words could never convey, seriously!

As a pre-show warm-up, I was considering doing a “Coachella Packing List” post. However, to comemorate this most blessed occasion, I decided to switch it up by recommend tunes, rather than fashion, for a change. Out of all the amazing songs that will be heard from a roster of unbelievable bands, these are my top 10 favorites: [continue reading…]

Choosing the right snack is important to avoid overeating, perpetuating a junk food habit, or just keeling over from the lethal cupcakes-ice cream-cookies combo at those office birthday parties that get us every time. Okay, I exaggerate—cupcakes have never harmed anyone—but it’s not a good feeling when you’re still experiencing the aftermath of a feast days later.

Get back on track—and, no, because you started the week off on the wrong foot does not mean you just keep on pushing through, calorie bomb after calorie bomb, and start over next week. Every day is a do-over day. When it comes to eating right, you get unlimited chances. I know. I’ve taken hundreds of “do-overs” and I’ll be taking more—it’s the vicious cycle that food lovers just have to deal with. You will, however, feel great when you give yourself that second (or hundredth) chance—it counts for something… your health, your sanity, a piece of mind.

In honor of Heart Health Awareness month, do yourself a favor and snack right with some of my personal tips. [continue reading…]

I am currently struggling with something that I’m sure more than a few of you can relate to: I gained a bunch of weight over the holidays and am still trying my darnedest to get rid of it.

I don’t even really know how it happened, it was like I woke up one day and all of a sudden the jeans I used to be able to wear so comfortably became suffocating torture devices and I found myself going head-to-head with the stubborn zippers on my favorite dresses, the ones that used to glide right up so easily. I’m taking all the right steps, eating less, exercising more, but it’s been an agonizingly unfruitful process and the pounds aren’t melting away as quickly as they implanted themselves.

Now this isn’t gonna be an article about how I lost the weight, or about my valiant efforts to get back where I was. I was inspired to write this because I realized that this slight change on the outside caused some major changes on the inside and in the past month,  I’ve barely been able to recognize myself. All of a sudden I was insecure, introverted, and riddled with self-doubt. I also became someone who constantly berated herself which was disappointing because that is something I always speak out against. I was traveling down a very detrimental path, one that would have caused the Sabrina who started ANM a year ago to smack me right across the head, and justly so: I let myself get caught up in the idea that my weight meant everything.

So what happened exactly? Well I lost perspective and veered off course. Now I’m back and while I’m still working to get myself back to where I was, I have learned to accept where I am now and to feel great even though I’ve put on some weight.

Read on for my tips! [continue reading…]

Your steam pipes are clanking and your thermostat is set on “BRRR, it’s too cold to even think about going outside.” It’s that time of the year when you just want to cozy up and wait out the cold in your PJs with a cup of hot chocolate ‘til spring brings warmer days.

While we are fans of winter fashion here, we don’t discriminate when you’re all about indoor, at-home activities, especially when winter’s frightful weather is looming. For those spending more time at home, there are ways to warm up your pad without raising the thermostat. Some key accessories can brighten up a room and make it cozier for stylish winter hibernation.

And when you’re ready to socialize again, you can show off your well-accessorized digs to friends who simply haven’t discovered the art of relaxation through a little decoration.

Here are our top picks to cozy up in your casa de comfort: [continue reading…]

“To escape criticism- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” These words, spoken by famed writer Elbert Hubbard, hit the nail right smack on the head. Criticism can be crippling and the fear of being criticized can be catastrophic. It can prevent you from taking those grand risks that lead to greatness and hinder you from reaching your full potential.

I’ve faced my fair share of criticism and I am sure all of you have as well. A little while ago, someone said some not-so-nice things about ANM and I was simply devastated. I mean ANM is my baby, it’s what I put my heart and soul into. Even in the face of all the positive feedback we’ve received, this one little comment caused me to crumble. The experience really got me thinking about criticism and how to deal with it.

Everyone, from the most beautiful women to the most talented singers to the most insightful writers, has haters out there who think them ugly, untalented, inarticulate and so on. It’s no wonder so many celebrities crack under the pressure of intense scrutiny. I’m not sure how well I’d be able to handle it, a sentiment that is undoubtedly widely shared.

There is no way to avoid criticism, especially when you put yourself out there and do something bold and daring, but there are ways to learn how to take it like a champ and casually dust the cruel words right off your shoulders.

Read on to learn how to handle criticism with grace: [continue reading…]

Feeling bloated is near the top of the list of ways to make us feel our most unattractive. Even if our hair looks awesome and we finally perfected our makeup with a killer smokey eye, or even if we scored that insanely hot party dress on sale (that we were astounded to have found in our size!), none of that seems to matter if we feel FAT and huge around our bellies. Bloat: The horrible feeling of ever tightening pants, the panic that any second the seams around the mid section of our dress might burst, feeling we weigh 90 pounds more than we do… Bloat is the last thing we want to be dealing with during the stress of the holidays.

The reason for our physical distention, and why our mental and emotional attention gets so focused on our belly is because there is just so much going on in there! Bloating is an outward symptom of our food not being properly digested. The gastric and digestive juices are being kicked into overdrive, indicating that something is not digesting optimally- to put it lightly.

Which brings us to our 2 easiest ways to keep bloat down and prevent bloating in the first place. I think you’ll be psyched to see how simple they are, and that yes you can do this!! You can indeed prevent a good deal of bloat from occurring. [continue reading…]