I’ve been writing about relationships for a while now and can’t help but notice common themes that emerge over and over again in the questions we receive from readers. No matter what stage of life, or what stage in the relationship. most of the issues women are having are rooted in the same mistakes.
To help you break away from the pack and get on the path toward a healthier, happier relationship, I’ve identified the 12 most common relationship mistakes most women make. If you can get a handle on the things on this list, I guarantee you’ll notice your relationship drastically change for the better.
Here you go:
1. Flipping out if he looks at or talks to another woman.
It’s a man’s nature to look, getting on his case shows you’re insecure, which is a huge turn-off. If you find yourself getting jealous whenever a woman is within his vicinity, you need to do an honest check in with yourself. At the root of it, there is either trust missing from the relationship or you need to build up your self-esteem.
MORE: On Loving Yourself and Being More Confident
2. Not respecting his personal space.
If he’s in a bad mood or doesn’t feel like talking, leave him alone and let it be. Most guys don’t like to talk about their issues the way women do. Instead, they prefer to pull back and work things out internally.
3. Not taking care of yourself or letting yourself go.
It really is a shame to see how many women think it’s okay to stop working out and shaving their legs as soon as they’re in a relationship. If anything, you should feel more motivated to make the effort once things are more settled to keep the attraction alive and sexual energy buzzing.
4. Not having your own life.
Don’t be one of those girls who forgets her friends and her interests as soon as she has a man, it never ends well and makes you look needy.
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5. Being passive aggressive.
Men are much more straightforward than women, if you tell him nothing’s wrong and then pout and mope around waiting for him to press you further, you’ll just cause anger and resentment to build. Be honest and straightforward with him if you have an issue.
6. Nagging.
No guy is perfect, no man is capable of giving you every single thing you need. There will be times when you’re not happy with something he’s doing. If this happen, do not nag him over it. The best strategy is to tell him what it is you want (I love it when you do X) instead of harping on what you don’t want (Why don’t you ever do Y?)
7. Not appreciating him.
Again, stop looking at the things he isn’t doing and look at what he is doing, and then acknowledge and appreciate him for it! The more you show you appreciate him, the more he’ll try to please you.
8. Being bitter/whiny/grouchy.
We all have bad days, it’s understandable. However, it’s in your best interest to try and be happy and positive. No one wants to hang around with a Negative Nancy. In general, we’re drawn to people who are happy and radiate a positive energy. Wake up with a smile, express gratitude, see the good in your life and in your relationship. This will not only help you in your relationships, but it will make your life better overall.
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9. Dumping your insecurities onto him.
It’s not his fault if you feel fat or your skin is breaking out or you found a tiny wrinkle by your mouth or if you’re scared he’ll leave you for someone shiny and new; these are your issues and hang ups so don’t turn them into relationship problems.
If he’s with you, it’s a given that he finds you attractive. Don’t talk him out of his attraction by highlighting all your flaws. Chances are he won’t even notice these things until you point them out, so why draw attention to them? Men are attracted to confident women so not only will you be making him aware of your flaws, you’ll be diminishing his overall attraction to you.
10.Trying to change him.
When you get into a relationship, you need to take that person for exactly who he is, not who you want him to be. He is who he is, take it or leave it. When it comes to minor things, like the fact that he wears running shoes with dress pants, be gentle and encouraging. Don’t criticize and make him feel stupid. Say something that makes him feel good and inspires him to make that change on his own, for instance, “You look really sexy in that outfit but it would be even sexier with those loafers instead.”
11. Not loving him in the way that makes him feel loved.
Everyone feels love differently. Most women feel loved when their man brings them a bouquet of flowers while this type of gesture would be meaningless to a guy. Guys have their own ways of feeling loved. It could be gifts, food, compliments, a cup of tea, or a massage at the end of a long day. Pay attention to how he responds to things to determine what makes him feel truly loved (it should be obvious) and try to do whatever it is as much as possible.
12. Going too fast.
When you’re dating someone, you have to ease into the relationship. If you get swept up in the initial infatuation stages and spend all your time with that person, you will probably overlook any red flags or deal breakers because you’re rational side will be overtaken by the emotional stimulation of it all. Ease your way into the relationship so you avoid losing yourself in it. You will also avoid ending up with someone who is completely wrong for you.
Got any relationship mistakes to add? Tell us about them in comments!
– SABRINA ALEXIS
Written by Sabrina Alexis
