Exactly How To Get Over a Guy Who Doesn’t Like You: 13 Easy Steps

You’re stuck. You can’t stop thinking about him. Every notification makes your heart race, hoping it’s him. But deep down, you know the truth: he’s not into you. And it hurts like hell.

I get it. Over the years, I’ve helped thousands of women navigate this exact situation. It’s one of the most common and painful experiences in dating. You’re not alone and you’re not crazy for feeling this way.

Here’s what most people don’t understand: it’s not about rejection. It’s about disappointment. You built up hope, imagined a future with this guy and now that dream feels shattered. But I’ve got good news for you: your dreams aren’t dead. They just need to be replanted.

In this article, I’m going to show you how to do that. I’ll give you practical, actionable steps to not just get over him, but to create a life you love – with or without a man

You might be thinking, “Eric, I’ve tried to move on before. Nothing works.” I hear you. But the strategies I’m about to share aren’t about willpower or just “getting over it.” They’re about rewiring your brain and shifting your focus in a way that makes moving on inevitable.

The best part? As you follow these steps, you’ll become more attractive, confident and ready for a real relationship when the right guy comes along.

Let’s get into it.

Now, seeing that it’s not going to work out with this guy feels like your hope is destroyed. The feeling of disappointment eats you up and you might secretly cling to a wish that there still could be hope with this guy.

Here’s the big thing to realize (and when you realize it, it will set you free): Your hope doesn’t need to die. You just need to plant it in new soil.

The big idea here is to recognize that everything you got excited about can still happen for you, but in a different way than you originally imagined.

Everything that got your hopes up, everything you wanted, can be real for you. But instead of looking to this guy for it to happen, look to yourself.

How? By taking control of your life and investing in yourself, not hoping for someone else to make your dreams come true.

Generating hope within yourself is a wonderful thing, but not when you pin it on people and forces outside of your control.

Instead of getting excited about how having him would make your life amazing, transplant that excitement into the idea of how improving yourself can make all your dreams come true.

This way, you’re using your hope and excitement as fuel to motivate your self-improvement, which will directly lead to better results in your love life.

Think about it: when you focus all your energy on someone else, you’re giving away your power. But when you choose yourself, you reclaim that power.

This isn’t reality. It’s just an idea in your mind.

But why should you care? Because when you build up a fantasy bubble like this, it seeds a new nightmare: the idea that if this bubble pops, you’ll lose your dreams.

The big insight here: to get rid of fear, disappointment and feelings of loss, we have to unplug that false fantasy. It was never real in the first place, but we imagine it is and that we could lose it.

Truth is, he’s just a guy in the world. There are billions of them. Maybe he’s perfectly fine, but he’s not what you built him up to be.

The idea that another person could make your dreams come true or that they’d make your life great is a common mental trap.

It’s misplaced hope and to make matters worse, it places the hope totally outside yourself in someone else (who doesn’t even necessarily share that hope or vision).

It’s something people commonly do, but it’s totally nonsensical. There’s nothing romantic about it; it actually blocks romance.

How can you have a connection with another person when you’ve built them up into a fantasy in your head? At that point, you’re not connecting with another person, you’re connecting with a fantasy in your head.

The big shift happens when you look to yourself to make your dreams come true.

It’s like there’s always a looming problem in the background, a subtle feeling something’s wrong, or a constant low-grade anxiety.

When something triggers you, it can send you reeling, making you lose mental clarity, composure, self-esteem and well-being.

Here’s the key insight: instead of fearing and running from what we’re afraid of or triggered by, we learn to become OK with it. You “bring OK-ness” into the experience of those nightmarish thoughts, so to speak.

When those unbearable thoughts come up, it’s common to react reflexively, leading to an endless chain of negative thoughts and reactions.

The key is instead of going into reaction, just sit with that nightmarish thought or feeling.

Instead of reacting endlessly in your head and feeding into the negative thinking, take your attention completely into your body.

Think of your body as a sea of energies and sensations moving and swirling about, expanding and contracting.

Bring your attention into your body and just experience the various movements of sensation.

Scan your body with your attention and whenever you notice a movement of sensation, put your attention on it and see how it moves. Then gently return to scanning your body.

You know how people say, “You need to ‘get out of your head'”? This is how you actually do it.

This is the same process I guide women through in my programs and coaching work — a practical, step-by-step way to work through the overwhelm and reconnect with your confidence, inner clarity and sense of peace.

You’re not denying or suppressing your emotions. You’re allowing them to flow and not interrupting that flow with mental reactions.

You’re letting the emotions run their course uninterrupted, which seems to help dislodge and clear difficult emotions.

For now, I’ll just say you’re rewiring your brain-body connection to recognize that you’re OK and you’ll be OK, which is the basis of well-being.

This process can be quite healing and allows you to take your most challenging emotions and turn them into fuel for your self-improvement and personal evolution.

Now, I’m not saying this process is easy to do, but frankly the part that’s difficult about it is the unbearable thoughts themselves.

Those were already there and they’ll continue to be there if you keep re-energizing them with a never-ending chain of reactive thinking.

With this process, I’m showing you the way out of the mental loop of suffering, so you can finally clear that negativity for good and improve.

MORE: How to Get Over a Breakup

5. Reflect: Write in a Journal

Journaling is great because it can cut off persistent negative thoughts and re-route them in a useful direction. When you write things down, it helps you process your feelings and gain clarity.

Start by thinking about what you were excited about and hoping for with this guy. But take him out of the equation and focus on what, in itself, was exciting for you as an idea.

Ask yourself: What about this was exciting to me? What would it mean to me to have that or experience that? How would I feel if I had that?

Then, ask yourself: How else could I bring this feeling into my life? What could I do to make it more likely to have more of this feeling in my life?

The big idea here is you’re getting in touch with the feelings that light you up, uplift you and make you feel alive, then you’re connecting them up to actions that you control directly.

When you feel like you’re at the mercy of life and other people, your inner world is filled with fear and turmoil.

But when you feel like you have direct control over making life feel the way you want, it brings peace, calm and well-being into your inner world.

And you feel empowered that you really can have the life you want because you’re directly in control of your dreams coming true.

Reflect on what you want and how you can achieve it independently of anyone else.

This practice can help you see patterns in your thoughts and behaviors, giving you insight into what truly makes you happy.

When your inner world is harmonious, it radiates outward from you as an attractive vibe, pulling in love from all corners of your life.

MORE: Why Doesn’t He Like Me Back?

6. A New Hope: Create a New Vision for Yourself

When it comes to difficult emotions, the common approach is to try to get rid of them. It doesn’t work.

Instead, what does work is to add new feelings and the old challenging feelings will wither away without your attention.

In other words, don’t worry about solving or fixing or getting over your feelings like it’s a problem you have to solve. That keeps you stuck in the problem.

Instead, proactively choose a new vision for yourself, where you’re going to invest in yourself to make your dreams come true.

Instead of imagining how wonderful life would be if you just had your crush, imagine how wonderful life is going to be when you’re investing in yourself.

This is important: you’re not attaching your hopes and dreams to a goal to attain, like “when I reach this weight then life will be awesome” or “when I pay off my credit card debt, then I’ll be happy.”

Attach that hope, excitement and inspiration to how you live. That way, you can live in touch with those feelings of hope, inspiration and excitement as an energy you live in as part of your normal existence, not as an emotion you’re desperately trying to get to.

When you live in a way that inspires you, it takes you into an upward spiral where you know your future is bright, things are getting better every day and there’s so much to look forward to.

Start by envisioning the life you want.

What are your passions?

What activities make you feel alive?

What goals excite you?

Write them down and create a vision board if it helps.

Focus on how you can start incorporating these elements into your daily life.

For instance, if you love painting, schedule regular time for it. If you’re excited about fitness, find a workout routine you enjoy.

The key is to create a lifestyle that brings you joy and fulfillment, independent of any relationship.

Not only will you get over this guy, but life will feel awesome again in all the ways you love most.

7. Letting It Go: Forgive Them, Forgive Yourself

I could have placed this step earlier, but it’s way easier to forgive them and forgive yourself when you’re feeling good and inspired again because you’re no longer in the illusion that you somehow lost your dreams or happiness.

Still, it’s important not to carry negativity into the future, as it will only drag down the goodness heading your way.

People waste a lot of time and energy holding onto past hurts, feelings of injustice, or resentment.

On the inside, it can feel like holding onto these feelings is like sticking up for yourself, but in reality, you’re just bringing past poison into future joy.

Joy is one of the most attractive forces in the universe. But there’s no room in joy for negativity.

It’s a choice: do you want to live with your inner world bathed in the most attractive force in the universe, or do you want to hold onto negativity (which repels people, drags your mood down and makes you suffer)?

You don’t need closure, you don’t need to set things right, you don’t need to get even.

The most heroic, admirable, badass thing you can do is choose to be a hero to yourself and be done with it.

And the way to be done with it is to forgive him for anything you felt he did that hurt or wronged you and forgive yourself for whatever you did that you were beating yourself up over.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning bad behavior. It means you’re choosing to let go of the emotional baggage. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment and anger so you can move forward.

Here’s how to start: take a few minutes to sit quietly and bring to mind the person you need to forgive. Acknowledge the pain and hurt, then consciously decide to release it. You might say something like, “I forgive you for what happened. I release the hurt and anger I’ve been holding onto.” Do the same for yourself: “I forgive myself for any mistakes I made. I release the guilt and self-blame.”

This practice can be done as often as needed. Each time, you’re reinforcing your decision to live in joy and positivity rather than in the shadows of past negativity.

By genuinely making peace with the past, you recognize that anger and hurt are costly and you’d rather invest your energy in your happiness and awesome life, not in wasteful negativity.

8. Get It Off Your Chest

Sometimes, you need to express your feelings to truly move on. Keeping emotions bottled up can weigh you down, but sharing them can provide relief and clarity.

One way to do this is by posting in the forum here on this website. You can post anonymously, so you don’t need to use your real name. Note: It’s a public forum, so don’t put your personal info out there.

Even just writing your thoughts out can bring insight, clarity and relief.

Plus, it can be helpful and validating to connect with other women who’ve been through a similar experience.

Start by reading some posts to get a feel for the environment. When you’re ready, share your story. Be honest about your feelings and what you’re going through. You might start with something like, “I’ve been struggling to get over a guy who doesn’t like me back and I need some advice on how to move forward.”

As you write, focus on expressing your emotions without holding back. This isn’t about getting advice (though that can be a bonus); it’s about giving yourself a space to vent and process. You’ll find that just putting your thoughts into words can make them more manageable and less overwhelming.

Additionally, reading about others’ experiences can provide perspective. You’ll see that you’re not alone in what you’re feeling and others have found ways to move on. This can be incredibly reassuring and motivating.

9. Take Space

If this is a guy you interact with regularly, you need to create some distance. This space allows you to reset and begin healing without constant reminders of him.

If you have to explain your absence, keep it simple. You might say, “I need some time to myself for a while.” There’s no need to go into details or make it dramatic.

If you don’t need to say anything, just naturally reduce your interactions. Avoid places you know he’ll be and if you see him, keep interactions brief and polite.

On social media, mute him. This way, you won’t see his updates, but it’s not as dramatic as unfriending or blocking. Out of sight, out of mind is a powerful principle here.

Engage in new activities or join new groups where you’re less likely to run into him. This helps you build new associations and create fresh memories away from the influence of your crush.

Taking space isn’t about being cold or nasty. It’s about prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being.

By removing the constant reminders of him, you give yourself the chance to focus on other aspects of your life and start the healing process.

Remember, the goal is to transform your overall experience and get into a new mood, vibe and rhythm. It’s hard to do that when you’re constantly reminded of the person you’re trying to move on from. So, give yourself the gift of space. It’s a powerful step toward reclaiming your peace and happiness.

By taking space, you’re making a conscious decision to put your well-being first. This act of self-care is essential for moving on and finding new joy in your life.

10. Glow Up

A makeover can do wonders for your mood and confidence. When you look in the mirror and see improvement, it leaves the impression that life is getting better and you have wonderful things to look forward to.

Experiment with a new hairstyle or hair color. Experiment with some new makeup looks. Invest in a few new outfits that make you feel confident and stylish.

Also, glowing up isn’t just about external changes. Eating well, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep are crucial for looking and feeling your best.

The key thing about a glow up is that it’s not just about superficial changes. It’s about taking effective actions to lift your mood and take you into that upward spiral where you’re looking forward to life and its possibilities again.

Psychologically, improving your appearance can shift your mood. When you see yourself looking better, you start to feel better. It’s a visual reminder that you’re taking control of your life and making positive changes. This can be incredibly empowering and help you move on from the guy who didn’t like you.

Have fun with it. Enjoy the process of trying new looks and finding what makes you feel amazing. This isn’t about impressing anyone else; it’s about making yourself feel good. When you feel confident and happy with how you look, that energy radiates outward and can attract new opportunities and people into your life.

11. Get Moving

Exercise is great far beyond just making your body look better. Studies have found that regular exercise is as effective or more effective than the world’s most powerful antidepressant drugs. It’s a natural mood booster that can help you feel better mentally and emotionally.

Plus, it gives you a feeling of empowerment, improvement and control. When you set fitness goals and achieve them, you build confidence in your ability to take charge of your life. Each workout becomes a step toward feeling stronger and more capable.

Why deny yourself this superpower? Take advantage of it as one of the most powerful tricks to get over a guy that didn’t like you back. By making exercise a regular part of your routine, you’re not only improving your physical health but also significantly boosting your mood and self-esteem.

Find an activity you enjoy, set realistic goals and track your progress. Whether it’s running, dancing, yoga or weightlifting, choose something that makes you feel good. As you see improvements, both physically and mentally, you’ll feel more empowered and in control of your life.

12. Switch Things Up

Filling up your life with activity is a great way to move on from a guy who doesn’t like you.

Ruminating on sad thoughts and zoning out watching Netflix might feel effortless and comfortable, but it won’t set you free from being in a slump.

You know what does? Fresh new activities!

Pursue your interests, take up new hobbies and try things you’ve always wanted to do. The idea here is to make your own awesome life your source of happiness and inspiration.

Here’s the truth about relationships: many women think a relationship will “make them happy.” In reality, a good relationship is like a bank account that you deposit happiness into and it pays interest on that happiness. You don’t look at relationships as something to make you happy; you show up happy and end up with a great relationship.

The source of your happiness is within you. You need to figure out how to live your life in a way that makes you happy, whether you’re in a relationship or not.

To drive this point home, consider this: when women show up to a relationship and they don’t feel happy or whole, they’re essentially saying to the guy, “I want you to make me happy… I haven’t figured out how to do it for myself, but I expect you to be able to!”

When you really think about that, it makes no sense! Your life needs to be your source of happiness, so you can “show up full” for the relationship.

By filling your life with exciting and enjoyable activities, you take control of your own happiness. Your happiness will naturally make you more attractive and ready for a healthy relationship in the future.

13. Spend Time With Uplifting People

Spending time with uplifting people can make a significant difference in how you feel and help you move on from a guy who doesn’t like you.

When I say spend time with uplifting people, I don’t mean talking about your sad story about how your crush didn’t like you. I mean hanging out with people who lift your mood and get into the rhythm of their good energy.

What I’m getting at with this step is taking advantage of the power of getting into a different mood by hanging out with fun people and doing fun things.

When we’re feeling bad, it can be tempting to think we need to solve our problems or figure ourselves out before we move on with life.

The problem is, the kind of thinking you do when you’re feeling bad is nothing like the quality of thinking you do when you’re feeling good, happy and inspired.

So, while it’s counterintuitive, I’m encouraging you to aim at shifting your mood with these steps and not worrying about mentally “figuring things out” or “solving problems” in your head.

You want to keep exposing yourself to purely uplifting energies to help shift your mood out of a funk long enough for your logical mind to follow.

Instead of trying to think your way into a good mood and positive outlook, go into the good mood directly as much as possible and your perspective will naturally shift without directly working on it.

By surrounding yourself with uplifting people, you’ll absorb their positive energy and it will help you break out of the negative mindset. This shift in mood can be a powerful tool in moving on and feeling happier overall.

Now I hope what I’ve said so far has helped show you the path forward. I know it might not seem like it yet, but it really is for the best. You’re free to get the love you really want now.

But there are two things you need to know.

At some point, a man will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit to? The answer will determine everything. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as long-term material, as opposed to a passing fling? Do you know what inspires a man to commit and devote himself to one woman only? If not, read this next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman

The next issue arises when he starts to pull away. It looks like he’s losing interest in you. He’s not as responsive, he’s not as attentive, and things just feel off. Do you now what to do to get things back on track? If not, read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

Hope it helps,

eric charles

How to Get Over a Guy Who Doesn’t Like You:

1. Realize: It’s Not About Rejection, It’s About Disappointment
2. Get in the Driver’s Seat: Choose Yourself
3. Get Real: See It for What It Is
4. Let Go: How To Grieve Well
5. Reflect: Write in a Journal
6. A New Hope: Create a New Vision for Yourself
7. Letting It Go: Forgive Them, Forgive Yourself
8. Get It Off Your Chest
9. Take Space
10. Glow Up
11. Get Moving
12. Switch Things Up
13. Spend Time With Uplifting People