I’ve read a lot of your articles about how important it is for a guy to treat you like a priority instead of an option, and how a woman has to be the prize…. I’m just kind of confused as to how to do this.
How do you show him that you have options so that he sees you as the prize? I just don’t understand how to do this without coming right out and saying it.
To answer your question: Men and women have instincts that pick up on other people’s mindsets.
That’s why you can tell when someone is homeless and about to ask you for money… or when a slimy salesman is trying to manipulate you… or when someone is being dishonest.
We can pick up on where a person’s head is at, even if they didn’t do or say anything… we just know in our gut…
So you must have the mindset that you are continually on the prowl, looking for other potential men who could better serve you until your guy steps up to have you all the way.
You don’t have to break any rules… just never emotionally put all your eggs in one basket and fixate on a guy that isn’t clearly committed to you (or worse and more commonly, a guy who specifically says he doesn’t want a relationship or to move forward in the relationship).
It’s when a woman puts all her eggs in one basket and completely chooses the guy that he knows he’s won.
Soon enough, the daily demands of life will begin taking priority…and since he knows he’s got you, well, you will sink lower on his priority list.
QUIZ: Is He Losing Interest In You?
On the other hand, when a man feels that he doesn’t fully “have you”, he’ll fight hard to fully possess you (lest he should lose you to another man.)
Have the mindset that you’re going to go with your best option and that you’re always looking until he completely claims you. You don’t have to be overt or obnoxious about it. In fact, it’s much more effective if you never do anything overtly through actions or words to show your mindset. Just calmly and privately hold that mindset.
Think in those terms and not the desperate victim mentality of “I love him soooo much, when will he choose me?!?!”
I am not suggesting that a good, healthy relationship involves a woman metaphorically “dangling a carrot on a string” to keep a man constantly chasing her.
Power in the deepest, truest sense comes from being able to serve someone better than they could serve themselves, so they give their own power and control over to you since they feel it is better in their hands than your own.
QUIZ: Does He Really Love You?
In that same way, having power in a relationship isn’t about making someone want something and then denying that thing to the other person. Having power is about providing a feeling to them that is unmatched by anyone else in their life – serving them with an experience of such high value that they can’t help but want more…
… and, simultaneously, not giving up your own power and choice in the relationship. Not depending on them to be the source of your happiness, wholeness, or fulfillment – you enjoy them and you enjoy them in your life, but you don’t need them.
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Ultimately, what I want to come across most clearly is this: When you’re in a good, healthy relationship, thinking about power, control, or fearing the other person will leave is the last thing on your mind. When you’re in a good, healthy relationship, your relationship is the easiest part of your life.
The major factor that prevents people from having a relationship like this is falling victim to harmful ideas, myths, and bad advice about relationships. When you truly realize on a deep level that you really don’t need anyone else… you just would enjoy someone else… and only if the relationship with them feels good and is how you’d want it… then you’re in the perfect position… then you’re in the position to have a great, happy relationship that just flows effortlessly, without worries, fears, or heartache.
When you have the right mentality, you’ll notice he starts putting more effort into the relationships. And when things start to shift, it’s crucial that you reward good behavior or you’ll stop getting it from him!
But don’t reward him in the way a woman would want to be rewarded…
Reward him in a way that your specific man wants to be rewarded. Show your deep appreciation for him when he does what you want. Watch carefully what your man responds to and what lights him up.
Look for the parts of him that he feels are unappreciated and appreciate those parts of him. Let him know that you believe in him and his power to achieve his aspirations.
What’s the major error that trips women up these days?
It’s their focus – instead of focusing on the feelings and experience they create for the man, the woman fixates on her own wants, her own worries, her own fears, etc.
And amidst this completely self-absorbed mindset on what she wants, it’s no wonder that she’s unable to hook a man’s interest beyond just sleeping together…
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Sure, that woman might cook him dinners, perform in bed and tell him how much she likes him, but none of that stuff penetrates as man’s psychology on a deep and meaningful level.
Forget about just getting commitment. When you really understand and master the art of tapping into the deep parts of a man’s psyche, he will want to move mountains to possess you.
Men don’t start out there when they first meet a woman, though. She needs to reach him at that level by recognizing his ambitions, his fears, his motivations, his “mission” in life and where he ultimately wants to “win”.
MORE: How to Get a Guy To Commit To You
See, to really capture a man’s heart … (continued – Click to keep reading Ask a Guy: How Do I Get Him to Treat Me Like a Priority?)
Written by Eric Charles
