Physical attraction is a pretty basic concept for both men and women to understand. It’s either there or it isn’t. Falling in lust isn’t hard to do. In fact, you can do it in just a few seconds.
But what about something deeper, something that lives below the surface of chemistry? What about falling in love?
You can’t fake that, either. If you’re not compatible with a man, don’t try and push the square peg into the round hole. It’s not only going to be dissatisfying and exhausting, but you deserve better. You deserve the real thing.
MORE: 8 Scientifically Proven Ways to Make Him Fall in Love With You
Love can’t be manipulated, but there are certainly a few things you can do to help move things in the right direction. We’ve made a list of 13 of those tips below.
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
1. Give good eye contact.
Your eyes are definitely one of the best accessories in your flirting tool-belt. At the beginning of a relationship, eye contact tends to be quick and suggestive. As things progress, that contact becomes prolonged and soulful. Instead of catching his eye across the bar, you’re looking at him with depth and longing. It’s irresistible to be admired that way.
One of the greatest things about using your eyes is that you can do so much with just a little. Is it more jarring to have intense eye contact with someone, or to brush your hands as you walk? Considering how unusual it is to actually stare into someone’s eyes, we’re going to have to vote for the former.
You can even make him feel this by keeping an eye on him when you’re around the house, or at a party. How fun is it to be chatting with some friends and notice him watching you from where he is? You’ll probably share a smile and it’ll feel like the two of you have a secret.
MORE: 5 Steps to Make A Man Fall In Love
2. Be confident.
Knowing your worth is extremely sexy. It’s okay to admit vulnerabilities, but in general, be proud of yourself and your qualities. It’s a drag to be around someone who constantly needs reassurance and approval.
When you walk around aware of your value and not needing anyone’s validation, people are drawn to that. It’s probably because they want to feel like that, too. Even if you don’t wake up feeling like you’re all that, act like it anyway. Eventually, you’ll start to believe it.
Have you ever watched a TV show and only started to find a character attractive after a few episodes? Sometimes people you wouldn’t normally be interested in can blow you away by owning who they are. Confidence is magnetic.
MORE: 10 Things Confident People Do Differently in Relationships
3. Be lighthearted.
There are always going to be days when life is difficult and you have to tackle it with a sober attitude. Whenever possible, though – keep it positive. If you have the option of laughing or crying – laugh! It really is the best medicine.
Having a good sense of humor is also a terrific icebreaker. For example, maybe he takes you to meet his parents and things are a little tense at first. Even if you’re destined to get along wonderfully with his family, those initial introductions can be anxiety-inducing. Instead of getting swept up in your nerves, search for the fun. Crack a joke, smile, laugh.
If you trudge through life expecting negative things to happen, they probably will. Look for the bright side and marvel at how often you can find it.
MORE: 4 Ways to Make Him Commit and Want Only You
4. Be honest.
Women are sometimes, bizarrely, advised to be manipulative in relationships. Has this worked for some in the past? Maybe. But whatever progress was made, it wasn’t built on something real and sustainable. It also, most likely, attracted the wrong kind of partner. If a guy likes playing mind games, run for the hills.
Being upfront about your feelings is wildly refreshing. Don’t listen to people with ridiculous rules about how to date. Every relationship is a unique one. By listening to your man and being genuine in your conversations, you’ll find your own way to success.
This doesn’t mean you have to bare your soul every day. Protect yourself and your heart, but don’t dismiss your feelings. They are valid and need to be heard in order for you to create a meaningful relationship.
MORE: How to Make Him Fall For You
5. Learn about his interests.
Have you ever feigned interest in a topic you know nothing about while trying to charm a man? Don’t feel bad – we’ve probably all done it in some fashion. Most of the time, artificial interest has a real air of dishonesty to it. He’ll probably be able to sense that you’re pretending. A little of that can be cute, but if you come across as disingenuous, it’s a turn-off.
While faking passion is a bad idea, there’s no harm in researching what he’s into and learning about it. If you take the time to study his beloved hobby, he’ll probably be quite touched. It will also give you the opportunity to talk to him about something he really cares about.
Depending on the interest, perhaps you can offer to go participate with him. For example, if he loves rock climbing, ask him to show you some basics. Even if you don’t take to it, he’ll love that you were willing to give it a try.
6. Find your shared interests.
Maybe you won’t necessarily need to learn about all kinds of new things in order to enjoy a shared experience with your guy. Find mutual passions by asking him questions. Don’t pepper him with them like it’s an interrogation, but take every opportunity you can to learn more about him.
Maybe you’ll discover you both had the same rock band poster on your wall in high-school. Or perhaps you both spent time studying the philosophies of the Stoics. You never know what quirky similarity the two of you will end up bonding over. If you end up loving the same sports team or musician, there’s a fantastic way to create a tradition of attending events together.
MORE: How to Keep a Guy Interested
7. Make him a priority.
Once someone shows you that you’re a priority in their life, that creates an intimacy you can build upon. It’s flattering to know that you rank highly in another person’s life. As soon as you know they care about you in that way, that opens the door for you to reciprocate.
This doesn’t mean you have to drop whatever you’re doing the second he texts. Don’t blow off previous plans or important commitments, especially if you haven’t been together that long. But being willing to schedule time with him first will indicate his value in your life. If you occasionally sacrifice doing something you’d like to do because you want to be there for him, that will be remembered and go a long way.
It comes down treating someone the way you want to be treated. You want to know that he’ll be there for you and make you a priority, so do the same for him.
MORE: How to Have a Relationship That Lasts
8. Be mysterious.
It’s a little easier to be mysterious at the beginning of a relationship, but you can maintain that later on as well. He doesn’t need to know every detail of your life, especially right off the bat. Keep some things to yourself. Give him the chance to discover you slowly, rather than being bombarded with information.
Even if you’ve been together a long time, keep an air of mystery by being spontaneous. Come home one day and surprise him with tickets to the movie you know he wants to see. Pick up a new hobby that has nothing to do with him and allow him to wonder how it’s going.
Don’t be too orchestrated with this. The idea isn’t to keep him nervously on his toes, it’s just to keep things fresh.
9. Make him feel needed.
We’re not suggesting you feign ignorance and wilt like a flower before any task. Men are attracted to a woman who can take care of herself and doesn’t need her hand held through every obstacle.
At the same time, everyone likes to feel needed from time to time. This is just as true in non-romantic relationships. How good does it feel when you’re able to solve a problem for a friend or family member? Everyone feels a boost of self-esteem when they are able to help someone else.
Look for opportunities to give that feeling to your guy. If he has an area of expertise you know nothing about, come to him for advice. Don’t critique his opinion or make fun of anything he says. Make him feel appreciated.
MORE: 11 Undeniable Signs He’s in Love With You
10. Look your best.
Looking your best is not about trying to please any specific man. By taking care of yourself you do yourself a favor. Embrace who you are and watch how it draws in all the right kinds of people. When you practice self-care, you’ll not only look better, you’ll feel better.
Experiment with different styles, hair, and makeup. If you’ve always wanted to try a bold red lipstick but lacked the confidence – now is your time. Go for it. Trade in your old, worn wardrobe pieces for something new. If you’ve never taken the time to define your own style, see how much fun that can be.
Pay attention to your nutrition. Your diet isn’t just about vanity. By fueling yourself with healthy foods, you’ll have the energy and mental clarity to live your best life. When we eat junk, we feel like junk. Put your best foot forward and avoid missing out on any exciting opportunities because you’re too drained or insecure.
11. Relax.
Don’t take anything too seriously. Take a moment to zoom out and imagine you’re looking at the Earth from up in space. Think of everything that’s happening on that globe and where you are on it. Does that petty exchange you had earlier with a pesky coworker seem very important now?
It’s a relief to give matters the weight they legitimately deserve. You don’t have to worry about insignificant or tedious things when you maintain a greater perspective. When you relax and see things the way they really are, you’re able to be present and calm … and this is a highly attractive vibe.
Living in the moment and staying “awake” to your surroundings enables you to truly thrive in your day-to-day tasks. This will lead to more lively interactions and fulfilling relationships. It’s also addicting for a man to be around a woman who is at peace with herself and the world.
MORE How to Make a Guy Fall In Love With You
12. Put yourself out there.
While we will always encourage you to protect your heart, you have to consider your goals in a relationship. If you want a man to fall in love with you, that will require some sensitivity and humility on your part as well. He can’t be expected to do all the work himself.
You don’t have to be the first one to completely drop your guard and lay it all on the line. You do have to show him that you’re receptive to establishing a trusting relationship that will last. If you’re more concerned with your pride than anything else, it will be impossible to create the kind of intimacy required for real love.
If you end up getting hurt, be proud of yourself. It takes much more strength to put yourself out there than it does to stubbornly block yourself off from the potential of heartbreak. Stay soft through the hard times and you will come out ahead.
MORE: 4 Techniques to Make Him Fall In Love
13. Live your own life.
Independently working on yourself is not just beneficial for your own life, it’s also a way to attract Mr. Right. Before you can represent an empowered and alluring version of yourself, you have to know who you are. If you take the time to craft your own exciting existence before bringing a man into the mix, you will be grateful you did for the rest of your life.
A woman who knows what she wants and doesn’t need any help being happy is an irresistible woman. Doing the work to accept yourself as you are will make you a dependable and powerful partner. Make your man a fantastic addition to the puzzle of your life, not the piece holding it all together.
I hope this article gave you some insights into what makes a man fall for a woman. But there’s more you need to know. Capturing his interest is one thing, keeping it is another! Do you know what makes a man want to commit to a woman and what makes him see her as “the one”? If not, you need to read this next:The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Also, in every relationship, there will come an inevitable point where he starts to pull away and seems to be losing interest. He’s not as excited by you, the spark seems to be fizzling, and you feel like you’re losing him. Do you know what it means and how to respond? If not, read this too: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
In Summary…
How to Make a Guy Fall in Love with You:
1. Give good eye contact.
2. Be confident.
3. Be lighthearted.
4. Be honest.
5. Learn about his interests.
6. Find your shared interests.
7. Make him a priority.
8. Be mysterious.
9. Make him feel needed.
10. Look your best.
11. Relax.
12. Put yourself out there.
13. Live your own life.
Picture of young loving couple sitting in cafe by dating outdors in park holding glasses of wine drinking talking with each other.