You landed here because you want to know what it takes to keep a man in love.
Maybe you’re single and want to know what it takes to get and keep lasting love. Or maybe you finally have the love you’ve always wanted and you’re terrified of losing it.
Either way, there are key things you need to be aware of to create and keep an amazing, fulfilling relationship.
One of the most important things to bear in mind is that love is a verb. It’s less about feelings and more about actions.
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How is your love conveyed? Not through your thoughts or feelings, but through what you do when it comes to the person you love. An equally important thing to remember is that love isn’t about crossing some finish line; it’s a journey and a process. Love grows and flows and evolves and it can be lasting, but only if it’s nurtured.
Knowing how to create the right environment for love to flourish will help you better cope when times get tough, as they inevitably will. It will strengthen you as a couple so you can weather any storm and tackle whatever obstacles come your way. They say love conquers all, but that’s only true if you take the right steps to have a strong sort of love that is capable of conquering.
To help you get there, I’m going to share some specific actions you can take to nurture your love and make sure it lasts. Once you’ve found love, these secrets will keep him in love with you forever. But don’t wait until you’ve found love to start using them. Knowing them and making them a part of your lifestyle and mindset now will actually make you more emotionally ready for a good relationship and help you find the right person, too.
1. Choose wisely
Who you choose ultimately determines if your relationship will succeed or fail.
Choose a guy who’s compatible with you, who wants the same kind of relationship you want, and who’s positive he wants you! Not a wishy-washy guy who’s unclear about how he feels and what he wants. If he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now or he acts like he’s super into you one day, then disappears for days or weeks at a time, then choosing him is not choosing wisely.
MORE: The 3 Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away
You’re ready for a committed relationship, so choose a guy who wants to commit. He needs to share your values and your vision for the future.
How well do you mesh? Do you get along well and enjoy each other? Do you respect one another? Can you argue when you disagree and reach a resolution, or do you tear each other down and always end up having the same argument over and over again?
Essentially, how well do you work together as a team? That’s what a relationship is; it’s a partnership and you’re on the same team. If you can’t cooperate and function well together on a practical level, it doesn’t matter how strongly you feel about each other because your difficult day-to-day interactions will eventually erode the love you feel when you can’t get along.
2. Don’t chase him or force things
You can’t force love. You can’t make a man feel the way you want him to feel about you. If you have to spend a lot of time and energy getting him to step up or behave the way you want him to, it’s probably not the right relationship because love just doesn’t work that way. It should feel pretty natural and easy, not like work or like you have to “manage” everything to make the relationship flow.
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This means that you shouldn’t chase after him and try to prove that you’re a worthy candidate for his time and attention. You shouldn’t try to win him over! First, this never works, and second, it definitely won’t fill him with feelings of love. He’ll just get complacent and come to expect certain things from you because they are so freely given.
Don’t act like his girlfriend until you are. Give him the space to move toward you. Although guys don’t necessarily love the chase, they appreciate the opportunity to have some room to pursue a woman because that means she’s worth it. It’s in a man’s nature to pursue, so if you wrap yourself in a bow and deliver yourself to him, and he doesn’t have to work a bit for you, he probably won’t see your value.
3.Be a woman in his corner
To be in his corner means that he feels safe with you. You see the full him—the man he is and the man he wants to be—and you accept and appreciate all of it. You fully support him, admire him, and believe in him.
You’re always on his side: you’re his partner, not his adversary. He can tell you anything without fear of judgment or that you’ll use it against him.
He may sometimes say things you don’t want to hear, and that’s okay, too. You’ll listen to him empathetically and you’ll realize that this is who he is, instead of seeing everything through the lens of you and what you need and want him to be.
MORE: Why Do Men Pull Away?
4. Love him the way he wants to be loved
I’m sure you’ve heard of the five “love languages,” but if you haven’t, the idea is that we all experience love differently and because of that we give and receive love in different ways. People may experience love through physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, or quality time.
He may be showing you love in the way that he likes to feel loved, but it’s not striking a chord with you and you feel resentful toward him because you still don’t feel loved. You may be doing the same thing to him.
It’s important to communicate about how each of you feels loved.
One way to figure out how to make him feel loved is to look at at the ways he tries to show you love. Is he constantly buying you little gifts and tokens of his affection, but isn’t big on giving you compliments? It’s possible his love language is gift giving, not words of affirmation.
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If you experience love verbally, through compliments and hearing those three little words, you might be trying to show him you love him by telling him that you do, when giving him a special gift, no matter how small, is what will make him feel loved.
It’s pretty easy to figure out his love language. Just pay attention to what lights him up. And pay attention to the things he does that make you feel the most loved if you don’t know what yours is.
There are also plenty of quizzes online you can take to figure out what each of your love languages is, and this can be a fun way to transform your relationship. If he feels loved in the relationship, he’s going to remain in love with you.
MORE: 5 Things That Turn Men Off to Relationships
5. Have many sources of happiness
To keep him in love with you, you need to keep being you. Have a fun and fulfilling life outside of the relationship—don’t let it be your only source of happiness. Maintain your friendships, keep up with your hobbies, have many sources of fulfillment. This keeps a relationship fresh and interesting because it keeps you interesting.
How would you feel if he stopped doing the things he loved, spending time with his friends, and generally having a life outside of you? You’d probably feel suffocated and you might not even recognize the person you fell in love with.
The best relationships are ones where two whole, happy people come together—not two broken people leaning on one another in order to heal themselves.
You can’t extract happiness from a relationship, happiness is something you bring into the relationship.
MORE: How to Keep a Man Madly in Love
6. Be your best self
Make being your best self a habit. It can be easy when you’re in a relationship to become a little lazy, but if you’re not taking care of yourself, that’s a reflection on how much you value yourself, and if you don’t put a high value on yourself, why should he?
Being your best self means your best self physically and emotionally. You want to look and feel your best.
Men are visual, so if you want to keep him captivated and keep the lust alive, then be an object of lust! This will also make you feel good because what woman doesn’t love feeling sexy?
Taking care of yourself physically also means committing to a healthy lifestyle. Work out, eat well, get enough sleep, just take overall good care of yourself. This will have benefits for both your physical appearance and your emotional well-being.
Taking care of yourself emotionally means dealing with your issues. If you don’t, they’ll spill into the relationship because love dredges up all that is unloved within us.
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Your issues will wreak havoc if left unchecked, and they won’t just disappear because they go unacknowledged. If you take care of yourself emotionally, you’ll bring your best and happiest self to the relationship, making it one your guy wants to stay in.
I hope after reading this article you know exactly how to keep a man in love with you forever. But what if it’s a little too late and your man has started pulling away and losing interest? If that’s the case, you need to learn exactly how to handle it or you could risk losing him forever. If the guy you’re seeing is pulling away, losing interest, or seems to be emotionally withdrawn, then read this article next to learn how to get things back on track: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
The next issue you need to be away of is at some point, your guy will ask himself: is this the woman I want to spend my life with? His answer will determine the fate of your relationship. Do you know what inspires a man to commit, and what makes a woman stand out from the rest in his eyes? If not, you need to read this right now: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
In summary…
This Is How to Keep Him In Love Forever:
- Choose wisely: who you choose ultimately determines if your relationship will succeed or fail. Choose someone compatible who has the same values and vision for the future as you.
- Don’t chase him or force things: You can’t force love. When you’re with the right person, you won’t have to “manage” everything to make the relationship flow, and you won’t feel like you need to try to win him over.
- Be a woman in his corner: See the full him—the man he is and the man he wants to be—and accept and appreciate all of it. Support him, admire him, and believe in him.
- Love him the way he wants to be loved: Observe how he shows love for you and talk with him to learn what his love language is. Love him the way he experiences love instead of how you do.
- Have many sources of happiness: To keep him in love with you, you need to keep being you. Have a fun and fulfilling life outside of the relationship. You can’t extract happiness from a relationship, happiness is something you bring into the relationship.
- Be your best self: Be your best self physically and emotionally. Be physically fit and healthy, and deal with your issues so you bring your best and happiest self into the relationship, making it one your guy wants to stay in.
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
Written by Sabrina Alexis