You and your ex have been broken up for a little bit, or maybe even a long bit. You’re moving right along, trying to put the pieces of your life back into place … and then he texts you. How do you respond?
This can be a really nerve-wracking situation, especially if you want him back. If you don’t want him back, well you just want something quick and short to send him the message loud and clear that it’s done.
Your ex can resurface for any number of reasons. He’s bored, he’s lonely, he’s horny, things aren’t going well with his new girlfriend, he’s still in love with you (read this article for the exact signs he is), or he just misses you…
(If you want to know how to get back together with him, be sure to read this article.)
Whatever the reason is, I’ve come up with the perfect response for every scenario. I’ve also given you options of what to say if you do or don’t want him back. Just follow these scripts to take all the stress out of wondering what to say when your ex texts you.
Here we go:
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
The ‘I Need You’ Text
You were once a huge part of his life, he may not even realize how much he leaned on you until you weren’t there. When times get tough, our ex may pop back into your life via one sad and vulnerable text.
He texts: I really need you, I just don’t know who else to talk to. Please answer.
If You Still Want Him Back:
Sweet and supportive is what will do the trick here. If he really needs you, a call would be preferable to text. Just don’t get to sucked into his emotional drama. Be friendly and supportive, but still detached. If you let yourself get overcome with wanting to help him, you’ll set yourself back and your feelings for him will come rushing back in.
If You Don’t Want Him Back:
You’re just done. You’re not his therapist or his caretaker. This text isn’t bitter or mean, it is detached and to the point. You’re looking out for your own best interest, not his, and that’s not a bad thing.
MORE: So You Got Back Together With Your Ex Boyfriend But Now He Won’t Text You Back
The Boredom Text
As they say, idle hands are the devil’s plaything. Being bored usually leads to trouble … and sometimes to impulsive decisions. He also could be using “boredom” as an excuse to check in on you and see what’s going on in your life.
He texts: What are you up to? I’m bored.
If You Still Want Him Back:
The smiley face keeps the flirtatious. Telling him you’re busy but not saying what you’re doing (hey, binging on a Netflix series can also count as “busy”) creates some intrigue and lets him know you’re not just waiting by the phone pining away for him. It shows him you’re moving on, you have a life, but you’re also not holding onto bitter feelings and resentment.
If You Don’t Want Him Back:
This is a little colder, less inviting than the previous text. It basically tells him you’re not interested in engaging in conversation with him, and you don’t really care if he’s bored or whats going on. It’s a good way to just close the door instead of inviting him in.
MORE: This is How to Make Your Ex Miss You After a Breakup
The ‘I Miss You’ Text
Even if he broke up with you, even if you both agreed that breaking up was for the best … you will still sometimes miss the other person, and then that happens, it will be hard to stop those fingers from expressing how the heart feels! It might mean he wants you back, or maybe he’s just really feeling the loss right now.
He texts: I really miss you
If you still want him back:
Give him the space to initiate things further, rather than pouncing and being like, “I miss you too, let’s get together soon and catch up!”
If you don’t want him back:
You can either ignore him, but then he might just think you never got the text, so you can reply in the following ways:
Or:
And then just cut it off there.
MORE: How to Get Your Ex Back
The ‘I Still Love You’ Text
Sometimes his pain will get the best of him. Sometimes distance really makes the heart grow fonder. And when that happens, he may text you to tell you he still loves you. If you want him back, this is probably the text you’ve been waiting and hoping for.
He Texts: I still love you
If You Want Him Back:
It might feel too emotionally vulnerable to come out and say you still love him too, so this is a little safer but sends the same message.
If You Don’t Want Him Back:
It’s not mean, not bitter, not spiteful. You’re just done with him and there’s no point in going back.
MORE: Amazing Responses If Your Ex Texts You
The Old Habit Text
Sometimes he might not even be thinking before he texts you because he’s just so used to it. This is especially common after a very long-term relationship ends. You’re just so used to the other person always being there you forget sometimes that they’re not there anymore.
He Texts: Hey- what have you been up to lately?
If You Still Want Him Back:
It’s always a winning bet to be positive and upbeat. Show him you’re bettering yourself and loving life. Men love a woman who loves life.
If You Don’t Want Him Back:
Just keep it short and to the point, don’t engage.
MORE: When Your Ex Texts You…
The Booty Call Text
Let’s be real, it’s sometimes easier to just text an ex when you want some action than go find some new girl, that’s why the booty call is an all-too-common occurrence.
He Texts: Hey- you awake? I want to see you.
If You Still Want Him Back:
You’re not outright shutting him down, but you are declining without compromising your integrity and that is sexy! If he wants to start things up with you again, he can make a plan with you, preferably one that begins long before the clock strikes 12. If he only texts you when it’s late and he’s horny… well, he’s not so interested in getting back together unless it’s between the bedsheets.
If You Don’t Want Him Back:
Or:
Both of these are cheeky and clearly send the message that you are not interested. If he persists, just ignore him. Sometimes no response is the best response.
MORE: Why Guys Text Out of the Blue
The Drunk Text
When liquor is involved, all restraint goes out the window, which is why the drunk text is probably the most common text from an ex you will recieve.
He texts: Heyyyyyy! Wasssup hottie?
If You Still Want Him Back:
This reply conveys nostalgia, and also a sense that you’re someone who really knows him, which strikes the perfect balance. You know his antics all too well, and still find them kind of endearing.
If You Don’t Want Him Back:
There is no way around this one, you don’t find his antics amusing, you aren’t nostalgic for his pension for drinking and texting, and you’re just over it.
MORE: What Happens When Your Ex Texts You
When He’s In a New Relationship and Texts You
Sometimes a guy gets buyers remorse. Maybe he left you for someone else, maybe he’s in a rebound relationship. Or maybe he’s dating a new girl, and it is kind of serious, but he realized she just can’t compare to you. Your responses might range from empathetic to enraged, depending on the circumstances behind your breakup.
He texts: I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately…
If You Still Want Him Back:
This response shows you aren’t desperate for him back, you have boundaries, you respect yourself, and you won’t engage until he’s single. At the same time, you’re showing him you also still have feelings, but you won’t act on them while he’s with someone else.
If You Don’t Want Him Back:
This quick and kind of cold response shows him you think it’s pathetic, that you won’t engage, and you’re moving right along. You can also just ignore the text, which will make him feel foolish.
The “I’m Really Sad About Us” Text
Even if he was the one to end things, there might still be a lot of regret and sadness. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to get back together, he’s just feeling upset, or maybe even guilty, about the way it all went down and he feels a need to tell you about it.
He texts: I can’t believe it’s really over between us
If You Still Want Him Back:
Even if he was the one who ended it, it’s important to be kind and understanding. Breakups are never easy. Make it safe for him to open up to you.
If You Don’t Want Him Back:
This is a no-nonsense, no mercy response. You’re showing him that you’re not there to help him through his pain, that’s not your role and you want no part of it.
Final Thoughts
By now, you have tons of scripts to choose from should your ex text you.
If you really want to get him back, it’s going to take more than texting him the right things. You need to follow the steps outlined in this article.
And whether you want to get him back, or want to get over him, it’s essential that you follow the no contact rule. Here is everything you need to know about it.
The best thing to do after a breakup is to focus on getting back to yourself. Focus on feeling strong and happy again. Focus on being your best self and working through whatever emotional damage the breakup left behind. Do what’s best for you and try not to focus too much on what’s going on with him.
Now that you know exactly what to reply if your ex texts you, you might be wondering how you can get him back and make it work this time around. The good news is that getting him back is totally possible. The longer you wait the harder it might be, so that’s why you need to learn exactly what it takes to bring him back and get him to see you as “the one.” Read this right now so you don’t miss your chance to get him back: Do You Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Use This to Get Him Back...
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
