Exactly How to Know If a Guy Likes You FOR SURE post image

Exactly How to Know If a Guy Likes You FOR SURE


How many times have you found yourself analyzing his messages, overthinking his comments or wondering if that guy you like feels the same way?

I get it. That feeling of uncertainty can drive you crazy, turning what should be exciting into an emotional roller coaster.

The problem is, it’s easy to see what you want to see – or miss what’s right in front of you. I’ve watched this play out hundreds of times, and I’ve noticed something interesting…

When a guy likes you, it’s usually pretty obvious. You just need to know what you’re looking for.

By the time you finish reading, you’ll know exactly which signs matter, and you’ll never have to wonder “does he like me?” again. I’ll share 15 clear signs to watch for, a powerful mindset shift that changes everything or a foolproof way to know for sure if he’s into you.

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The “Fantasy Future” Trap (And Why So Many Women Fall Into It)

When you want something to be true, your mind starts searching for evidence to support it. Research on confirmation bias shows that we tend to look for things that support what we already believe. In other words, if you’re convinced he likes you, you’ll notice every smile and ignore when he doesn’t text back.

Here’s what happens: you like a guy, so you start focusing on tiny details. Maybe he smiled at you in the hallway. Maybe he laughed at your joke in a meeting. Maybe he remembered your coffee order that one time.

You string these moments together like beads on a necklace, creating a story that he must like you – when in reality, you might be giving everyday actions way more meaning than they deserve.

Men typically approach attraction pretty directly. They’re action-oriented.

When a guy genuinely likes you, you won’t need a magnifying glass to spot it – his actions will speak louder than any subtle “sign.” Even shy guys will find ways to test the waters, and if you respond positively, they’ll gradually pursue more.

15 Unmistakable Signs He’s Into You

These signs aren’t subtle hints you need to decode. They’re clear indicators that show up consistently when a guy is interested. Research has found that patterns of behavior tell you much more than one-off moments. In plain English: it’s what he does regularly that matters, not that one time he remembered your birthday.

Let’s dive into the signs that really matter.

1. He Consistently Initiates Contact

When a guy likes you, he’ll reach out – consistently. He won’t just respond when you contact him; he’ll be the one starting conversations.

He’ll find excuses to text or call you. “Did you see that new Marvel movie?” “How did your presentation go?” “Just saw someone who reminded me of you.”

He reaches out even when there’s no practical reason to. He circles back after periods of not talking.

A study looked at how people connect with potential partners and found something pretty straightforward: the person who reaches out more is usually the one who’s more interested. No big surprise there, right? We make time to talk to people we like.

I remember a woman who was confused because this guy would take days to respond to her texts, but would always say he was interested. Meanwhile, her friend had a guy who would text her good morning every day and find reasons to check in throughout the day. Guess which guy was actually interested?

Men pursue what they want. If he’s making consistent effort to talk to you, it’s not accidental.

MORE: This Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Like You

2. His Body Language Transforms When You’re Around

Body language never lies – even when words do.

Watch for that “locked-in” stare that feels more intense than casual conversation. Try the four-second test – if he can hold eye contact for four full seconds, that’s a strong signal.

If he’s shy, he might quickly look away when caught looking at you. This isn’t disinterest – it’s the opposite.

Pay attention to pupil dilation – it’s subtle but powerful. A study found that our pupils actually get bigger when we look at someone we’re attracted to. Your body literally opens up to let in more of what it likes – pretty cool, right?

His body orientation speaks volumes too. Research shows that where we point our bodies is a dead giveaway of where our interest lies. It’s like our bodies know what we want before our brains admit it. Does his body turn toward you in group settings? Do his feet point toward you even when his body is angled elsewhere?

When he speaks with you, does he lean in? Studies on body language show that we lean toward what interests us. Think about it – you naturally lean in when you’re fascinated by a conversation, right? Same thing happens when he’s into you.

Watch for the “eyebrow flash” – that quick raise of eyebrows when he first sees you. Also notice preening behaviors (straightening clothes, fixing hair, adjusting posture).

Even if he’s trying to hide his interest or pretending not to like you, his body language will betray him every time. Look for contradictions – he might say disinterested things while his entire body is pointed at you, or he might avoid eye contact while finding reasons to be near you.

His body speaks a language his words might not be ready to say.

3. He Creates Opportunities to Be Physically Near You

A guy who’s into you will find ways to be in your space. He’ll position himself close to you in groups. He’ll find ways to sit or stand next to you.

He “happens” to show up where you are. He lingers after conversations instead of walking away. He creates reasons for you two to go somewhere together.

A study found that we naturally decrease physical distance between ourselves and people we’re attracted to. Simply put: we want to be closer to people we like. It’s human nature.

Pay attention to the physical touch test: Does he find ways to make “accidental” touches or brushes that seem to happen often? Does his hand brush yours when reaching for something? Does he touch your shoulder or back when making a point?

I’ve seen guys literally cross a crowded room to position themselves where the girl they like is standing. It’s not random – it’s intentional.

Proximity is the first step to intimacy – he’s creating the opportunities.

MORE: Unmistakable Signs He’s Into You

4. He Remembers Specific Details About Your Life

When a guy is interested in you, he stores information about you like it’s valuable data.

He recalls things you mentioned in passing, even weeks later. He remembers your preferences – your coffee order, favorite music, the book you said you loved.

He brings up previous conversations as reference points. “How did that situation with your coworker work out?” or “Did you ever finish that series you were watching?”

He knows your schedule and patterns. He asks follow-up questions about ongoing situations in your life.

Research shows we have better memory for details about people we’re attracted to. It’s like your brain has extra storage space for information about people you like.

Men don’t typically have better memories for details than women – unless those details matter to them. If he remembers your brother’s name after you mentioned it once, but can’t remember his coworker’s name after three years, that tells you something.

When a man stores information about you, he’s making room for you in his mind.

5. His Attention Quality Is Different With You

It’s not just about whether he pays attention to you – it’s about the quality of that attention.

He gives you his full, undivided focus when you speak. He puts his phone away or stops what he’s doing. He makes eye contact while listening.

He asks questions that show he’s fully engaged. He remembers the content of your conversations.

Studies have found that our attention naturally gravitates toward people we’re attracted to. Think of it as a spotlight – we shine it on what we care about most.

Compare this with how he behaves with others. Does he check his phone while talking to friends, but give you his complete focus? Does he seem distracted in group conversations but laser-focused when you’re speaking?

Quality attention is one of the most valuable things a person can give – and he’s giving it to you.

MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not That Into You

6. His Friends Behave Differently Around You

His friends are a goldmine of information. They know his secrets, they’ve heard him talk about you, and they can’t always hide it.

His friends seem to already know about you – they might recognize you before being introduced. They give knowing smiles or looks when you’re around.

They might tease him when you’re nearby or conveniently find reasons to leave you two alone. They make efforts to include you in group activities.

They ask about you when you’re not around. “So, are you coming to the party? Is [your name] coming too?”

A guy’s friends know his interests better than anyone. If they’re treating you differently, giving you special attention, or seem particularly interested in getting to know you, that’s a clear signal.

I’ve seen countless situations where a guy’s friends gave away his feelings before he did. They can’t help it – they know how he feels, and it shows in how they interact with you.

When his friends treat you differently, it’s because he’s been talking about you.

7. He Shows Signs of Nervousness or Extra Effort

Even the most confident guy can get a little nervous around someone he’s attracted to.

Watch for fidgeting or self-grooming when you’re near. Does he run his hands through his hair, straighten his clothes, or adjust his posture when he sees you?

He might speak differently – faster, in a slightly deeper voice, or sometimes stumbling over words. He makes extra effort with his appearance when he knows he’ll see you.

He tries to impress you with stories or accomplishments. He takes extra care with how he presents himself around you.

A study found that just being around someone you’re attracted to can literally change your body chemistry – heart rate increases, palms get sweaty, and you become more alert. That’s why even confident guys can sometimes act a little different around someone they like.

This creates what I call the comfort paradox: The more he likes you, the more he cares about making a good impression, which can actually make him less comfortable.

That nervous energy isn’t random – it’s because you matter to him.

MORE: Exactly How to Know if a Guy Likes You

8. He Makes You a Priority In His Schedule

We all have the same 24 hours in a day. How someone chooses to spend their time tells you everything about their priorities.

He makes time for you even when he’s busy. He responds to your messages relatively quickly. He rarely cancels plans with you.

He might rearrange his schedule to see you. “I was supposed to go to Jim’s thing, but I can do that another time.”

He shows up when he says he will. If he says he’ll be there at 7, he’s there at 7.

People make time for what matters to them – it’s that simple. If a guy is consistently too busy to see you, it’s not about his schedule; it’s about his priorities.

I’ve seen guys with crazy work schedules, multiple commitments, and packed calendars somehow find ways to see the woman they’re interested in. Meanwhile, guys with all the free time in the world can’t seem to nail down a date with someone they’re lukewarm about.

When a man prioritizes you in his busy life, he’s already decided you’re worth it.

9. He Mirrors Your Movements And Energy

Mirroring is one of the most fascinating and subconscious forms of attraction.

He unconsciously adopts your postures and gestures. If you cross your legs, he might too. If you lean on your right hand, he might mirror that position.

His energy level adjusts to match yours. If you’re excited and animated, he becomes more enthusiastic. If you’re calm and thoughtful, he slows his pace to match.

He picks up your phrases or speech patterns. He shifts his mood to align with yours. He synchronizes with your pace and rhythm.

Research has shown that we unconsciously mimic people we’re attracted to. It’s like your bodies are doing a little dance without your brain even knowing it. Next time you’re with him, change your posture and see if he follows suit within a few minutes.

Try this test: Change your posture or gestures during a conversation and see if he follows suit within a few minutes. If he’s constantly mirroring you, it’s a strong indication of interest.

Mirroring is one of the most unconscious forms of connection – it happens automatically when people are drawn to someone.

MORE: He Doesn’t Want a Relationship, Should I Just Walk Away?

10. His Behavior Changes When Other Men Are Around You

Men can get territorial, even if they don’t realize they’re doing it.

He becomes more attentive or protective when other guys are around. He might position himself between you and other men.

He makes extra effort to engage with you when others are around. He watches your interactions with other men.

He finds ways to mention or establish his connection to you. “We went to that restaurant last month” or “She was just telling me about that yesterday.”

These territorial behaviors come from a place of wanting to secure his position in your life. He’s not necessarily being possessive – he’s showing that he values his connection with you.

I’ve seen men who otherwise play it cool suddenly become very present and engaged when another guy enters the conversation with a woman they like. It’s like a switch flips, and they need to make their presence known.

When a man acts differently around other men, he’s responding to something he values and doesn’t want to lose.

11. He Teases or Jokes With You In a Playful Way

Playful teasing is flirting 101 – it’s been used since elementary school, just with more sophistication as we get older.

His jokes with you have a different quality than with others. He creates inside jokes between you two.

He playfully teases you – never about insecurities, but light-hearted stuff that creates a connection. He laughs more at your jokes than others might.

He uses humor to create a unique bond. Research has found that playful teasing is actually one of the most common ways people show romantic interest. Think of it as the grown-up version of pulling pigtails in elementary school.

Watch for that glint in his eye when he’s teasing you – it’s different than regular joking around. There’s a warmth and connection there that’s unique.

Playful banter creates a bond that’s different from normal friendship – it’s a low-risk way to show interest and gauge your response.

12. He Goes Out Of His Way to Help or Support You

Men often express interest through action and problem-solving – it’s how they show they can be valuable in your life.

He offers assistance without being asked. “I’m heading that way anyway, I can give you a ride.” (Even if it’s not exactly on his way.)

He follows through on offers to help. If he says he’ll help you move, he shows up with coffee and donuts.

He shows up during difficult times. He takes initiative to solve problems for you. “I noticed your tire was low – I filled it up for you.”

He makes your life easier in small ways. These gestures might seem practical on the surface, but they’re expressions of care and interest.

I’ve seen men drive across town in terrible weather to help a woman they’re interested in with something minor that could have waited. Meanwhile, they’ll text “sorry, can’t make it” to their buddy with a flat tire.

When he consistently shows up to help, he’s demonstrating his value as a potential partner.

MORE: When a Guy Won’t Call You His Girlfriend

13. He Compliments You Differently Than Others

It’s not just that he compliments you – it’s how he does it.

His compliments are more specific and thoughtful. Rather than “You look nice,” it’s “That blue really brings out your eyes” or “I like how you always have the perfect comment in meetings.”

He notices changes in your appearance. “Did you change your hair? It looks really good.”

He compliments more than just your looks – he notices your intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, or skills.

His compliments might make him seem a bit vulnerable. There’s an authenticity to them that feels different.

He remembers things you’ve worn or done in the past. “That dress reminds me of the one you wore to Sarah’s party – you looked amazing in that one too.”

General compliments can be just politeness, but specific, thoughtful compliments require attention and interest.

The specificity of his compliments shows how closely he’s paying attention to you.

14. He Finds Reasons to Get Your Opinion or Advice

When we value someone, we value their perspective.

He asks for your input even on topics he knows well. “What do you think about this? I’d really like your opinion.”

He seeks your opinion on decisions. “I’m thinking of taking that new job, but I wanted to get your take on it first.”

He values your perspective and mentions it later. “I thought about what you said, and you were right.”

He creates situations where he needs your help or advice. He acts on your suggestions.

We only seek advice from people whose opinion we value. If he’s regularly asking what you think, it’s because your thoughts matter to him.

I’ve noticed that men who are interested in a woman will often create opportunities to get her input on things they’re perfectly capable of figuring out themselves. It’s not about the advice – it’s about the connection.

When he consistently wants your take on things, it’s about more than the advice itself – it’s about bringing you into his world.

15. He Communicates Differently With You Than Others

The final telltale sign is in the quality and depth of communication.

He shares more personal thoughts and feelings with you than he does with others. He reveals vulnerabilities he doesn’t show to most people.

He’s more authentic and less guarded with you. His texts with you are longer or more frequent.

He creates opportunities for deeper conversations. “Let’s grab coffee sometime – I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on that.”

Opening up creates emotional closeness. When a guy shares things with you that he doesn’t share widely, he’s inviting you into a more intimate space.

Compare how he talks to others versus how he talks to you. Is there a difference in depth, authenticity, or vulnerability? That difference speaks volumes.

The quality of communication reveals the level of connection he’s seeking with you.

The Confidence Mindset That Changes Everything

Now for a complete game-changer: Instead of obsessing over whether he likes you, try this approach – assume he does.

This mindset shift is revolutionary because:

It eliminates the anxiety that prevents authentic connection. When you’re not constantly analyzing every word and gesture, you can be present and engaged.

It allows you to be yourself instead of overthinking. You’re no longer trying to say the “right” thing or avoid saying the “wrong” thing.

It creates a positive feedback loop. Confidence is attractive, and when you assume interest, you naturally become more confident. This often increases his actual interest.

It puts you in a position of empowerment rather than uncertainty. You’re approaching from strength rather than insecurity.

Here’s how to implement this mindset:

When you talk to him, assume he finds you attractive. Assume he enjoys your company. Assume he’d like to get to know you better.

This doesn’t mean acting entitled or arrogant. It’s about approaching with quiet confidence rather than anxious uncertainty.

I’ve seen women completely transform their dating lives with this one shift. The same woman who was once anxious and unsure suddenly becomes magnetic because she’s operating from a place of confidence rather than doubt.

This isn’t about pretending – it’s about approaching from a place of confidence rather than insecurity.

The Strategic Flirting Test That Reveals His True Interest

While observing his behavior can tell you a lot, sometimes the most effective approach is more active: strategic flirting.

Here’s why passive observation has limitations: Some guys are harder to read. Some hide their interest well. And sometimes, a guy needs a green light before he’ll show his cards.

Flirting exists for a reason – it’s a built-in social mechanism that lets two people test mutual interest without risking outright rejection.

It works because:

It has built-in plausible deniability. If things go south, you can always say, “I’m just being friendly!” No harm, no foul.

It allows for gradual escalation. You can increase the intensity step by step, checking for reciprocation along the way.

It creates a low-risk environment to show interest. The stakes feel lower than directly asking someone out.

Here’s the strategy:

Start with ambiguous friendly/flirty signals. Make slightly more eye contact than usual. Laugh a little more at his jokes. Touch his arm briefly while making a point.

Watch for his response and energy matching. Does he lean in? Does he return the eye contact? Does he find reasons to touch you back?

Gradually escalate while maintaining the “safety net.” Each step becomes slightly more obvious in showing interest, but still has that built-in protection.

Here’s the definitive sign – he not only responds to your flirting but escalates it. If he wasn’t interested, he’d naturally de-escalate or find a reason to end the conversation. If he likes you, he’ll seize the opportunity.

Try these low-risk flirting techniques:

“You’re really good at [something he does]. I find that attractive in a guy.”

Hold eye contact a beat longer than normal, with a slight smile.

Playfully tease him about something he’s clearly good at. “You always have to be the best at everything, don’t you?” (said with a smile)

Find a reason to be in his personal space, then gauge his reaction.

Ask for his help with something small, then show genuine appreciation.

This approach puts you in control – you’re creating the opportunity for clarity rather than waiting in uncertainty.

Reading The Signs In Specific Contexts

Different situations call for different interpretations of these signs. Here’s a quick guide:

Work Environment

Professional boundaries make things tricky. Look for:

  • He finds reasons to communicate outside of work channels (personal email, text).
  • He suggests after-work activities that could be just the two of you.
  • He brings you coffee or lunch without being asked.
  • His body language is more open and engaged with you than with other colleagues.

Digital Communication

In the world of texts and social media:

  • He responds quickly and with substance (not just “ok” or emojis).
  • He initiates conversations regularly, not just responding to you.
  • He sends messages that don’t require a response – just to connect.
  • He remembers things you’ve mentioned in previous conversations.

Long-term Friendships

When you’ve been friends for a while:

  • There’s a noticeable shift in how he treats you compared to before.
  • He creates opportunities for one-on-one time rather than group hangouts.
  • He becomes more protective or attentive than the friendly baseline.
  • His friends treat you differently than they treat his other female friends.

New Acquaintances

When you’ve just met:

  • He finds ways to extend your conversation beyond what’s necessary.
  • He actively seeks ways to find common ground between you.
  • He positions himself physically close to you in group settings.
  • He makes specific plans to see you again rather than vague “sometime” suggestions.

The Bottom Line

When a guy is truly interested, his actions will show it consistently. He’ll make an effort. He’ll find ways to be around you. He’ll pay attention to the details of your life. His body language will give him away.

These signs are helpful indicators, but remember – they’re just that: indicators. What matters most is compatibility and genuine connection.

Trust your instincts. Once you know what to look for, you’ll have a much clearer picture of his interest level.

If he’s not showing clear interest? That’s valuable information too. It’s simply more fulfilling to focus on someone who’s clearly enthusiastic about you than to exhaust yourself trying to convince or decode someone’s feelings.

The right person won’t leave you guessing. He’ll make it known that he’s interested, and you won’t need a magnifying glass to see it. It will be obvious.

Approach relationships with both clarity and confidence. Know what to look for, but also know your worth. The right person will see it clearly.

Now, I hope after reading this article you know exactly how to tell if a guy likes you. Whether he does or doesn’t, it’s really important for you to be aware of the one key moment in any relationship that determines if it will last forever or if you will wind up heartbroken.

At some point, he will start to pull away and may lose interest. He’s not as responsive to you, he’s not as excited by you, and it feels like you’re losing him… Do you know what to do in this situation?

If not, you might make one of the major relationship-killing mistakes that many women unknowingly make. Read this now so you don’t fall into that trap: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

The next issue you need to be away of is at some point, your guy will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to spend my life with? His answer will determine the fate of your relationship.

Do you know what inspires a man to commit, and what makes a woman stand out from the rest in his eyes? If not, you need to read this right now: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman

Hope it helps,
eric charles

15 Unmistakable Signs He’s Into You

  1. When a guy consistently initiates contact with you, it’s not coincidental – men pursue what they want, and his consistent effort to talk to you shows genuine interest that can’t be explained away.
  2. His body language transforms when you’re around – locked-in stares, leaning in, and body orientation toward you all reveal an attraction that even his words might try to hide.
  3. He creates opportunities to be physically near you because proximity is the first step to intimacy – those “accidental” brushes and finding reasons to sit next to you aren’t random at all.
  4. He remembers specific details about your life that you mentioned in passing – when a man stores information about you like valuable data, he’s making room for you in his mind.
  5. His attention quality is different with you – he puts his phone away, makes eye contact, and fully engages because you’re receiving one of the most valuable things a person can give.
  6. His friends behave differently around you – they give knowing smiles or find reasons to leave you two alone because they’ve heard him talk about you and can’t always hide it.
  7. He shows signs of nervousness or extra effort around you – that fidgeting or deeper voice isn’t random, it’s because his body chemistry actually changes when he’s around someone he’s attracted to.
  8. He makes you a priority in his schedule – even with a packed calendar, he finds ways to see you because people make time for what matters to them, it’s that simple.
  9. He mirrors your movements and energy unconsciously – if you change your posture and he follows suit within minutes, it’s one of the most reliable indicators of attraction your body does without your brain knowing.
  10. His behavior changes when other men are around you – he becomes more attentive or positions himself between you and other guys because he’s responding to something he values and doesn’t want to lose.
  11. He teases or jokes with you in a playful way that feels different – there’s a warmth and connection in his eyes when he does it that creates a bond beyond friendship.
  12. He goes out of his way to help or support you – offering assistance without being asked and showing up during difficult times is how men express interest through action and problem-solving.
  13. He compliments you differently than others – specific, thoughtful observations about more than just your looks reveal how closely he’s paying attention to you.
  14. He finds reasons to get your opinion or advice on things he could figure out himself – when he consistently wants your take, it’s about bringing you into his world, not the advice itself.
  15. He communicates differently with you than with others – sharing vulnerabilities, creating opportunities for deeper conversations, and being more authentic shows the level of connection he’s seeking with you.
Exactly How To Know If A Guy Likes You For Sure

Written by Eric Charles

I'm Eric Charles, the co-founder and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing articles to help people free themselves from suffering and have clarity in their love life. I have a degree in Psychology and I've dedicated the last 20 years of my life to learning everything I can about human psychology and sharing what gets people out of struggling with life and into having the life they really want. If you want to contact me, feel free to reach out on Facebook or Twitter.

36 comments… add one

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Marylyn

Yes some one is acting like this

Reply September 10, 2024, 4:27 pm

Haby

So I’m not used to dating I was married for 15yrs we broke up 3 years ago and the first guy I dated ended in a year relationship. He wasn’t the one so I ended things. So I just started to date a very handsome guy had a good career and he’s been wanting to take me on a date for over a year now but it never happened. So finally we went on a date a few days back and he was super nervous at first but then we clicked super well he told me never felt that way before that he usually ends his dates fast because he finds no profound connection and never dates on a second time. So we went on our second date and I have to say that we have such great chemistry but he confuses me because he tells me things like I think its love, at first sight, I feel butterfly’s with you that if I need anything to please call him money, etc.. We can kiss for hours and one thing is he doesn’t disrespect me. But he tells me.how deep his feelings are and I can’t believe it because he just met me. He tells me he sees wife material in me. So my response to him Is ok lets her to know each other better I’m not the type of girl to sleep fast with man and by u telling all this sweet things make me thing that’s all you want, he denies it he says he can’t wait till I’m ready that of course he Would love it to eventually one day to happen but that he’s not in for that. How can a person have strong feelings without knowing the other person well?

Reply June 24, 2019, 12:00 am

Lee

So I have this crush on this guy I been crushing on this for 4 months I’m a teen and I was new to his school everyone knew that he liked his bff but she did not like him he is nice to everyone mostly girls he has a lot of girl friends but he seems to care about me (well that’s what I think) every time he sees me not talking he asks me if I’m okay we been getting closer he even gave a nickname one time when we were alone I tried to talk yo him i did not know to start a conversation so we starred questions I asked questions about him but he did not ask me a single one well we come to this movement we gaze at each other for 5 seconds I felt butterflies in my stomach none of us moved our eyes we gust stayed there looking at each other eyes but we got interuped and it seemed like nothing had happend we find his friends and he starred talking to them more than me I would rather tell you more about this but I’d rather in private please tell is he into me or am I another girl to him

Reply November 9, 2018, 7:50 pm

Britt

I was wondering if y’all could decipher this text?? Apparently he is claiming that I read it wrong and I don’t see how I have. Like he is meeting my son and I at parks, inviting us over, we talk everyday, he will text me out of no where with good news, or if he is having a stressful day, he gives me long hugs when I leave, he babysat my son so I could get get my nails done, etc etc so I am greatly confused by him telling me I read this wrong…

” See, this is where things get tense. Do I have proactive interested in learning about you? I think that seems obvious, even if that sounds callous.I don’t go out of my way to find out much, about you or anyone else. And that’s not intended personally, although I don’t know how else you could take it. The flip side of this coin is that I do still pick up my phone and interrupt stuff I am doing to talk back to you, and I am actively trying to avoid pushing you away.”

Reply August 23, 2017, 9:11 am

Maya

I have done some rousing with this shearer quite a few times now as hes always getting called to come by my grandad. Hes really nice and everytine he always initiates converstaion with me. We always talk about our children life etc and its nice. He brings up topics a lot as i can be shy at times until ive opened up a bit more. Hes gives me full eye contact when we talk listens carefully and is alwsys smiling as he makes me smile. Hes older and has 3 kids. And 1 lives with him full time. So ive added him on fb he hasnt accepted yet. Im just wondering have i read the signs correctly? From my eyes i feel as though he likes me from his signls he puts off. Just need some thorts.

Reply July 27, 2017, 6:16 am

Ann Hathaway

Hi! There is boy and I have a huge crush rather i m in love with him from past 4 years.He first wrote on a paper that he likes me even before i knew his name then i fell in love when i went to ask he said its nothing like that.Then i fell in love.We both are in same school but diff classes . We live opposite to each others house and we can see what sgoin on in the house.He wears the same dress code as i do sometimes and finds and unnecesarry reason to come out from where i can see him.We have am unusual eye contact. But neither he nor me is taking a step .What should I do?Is he in love with me. Its been 4 years the love for and from both of us increases day by day and has now grown v strong but no one is approaching

Reply April 1, 2017, 4:21 pm

Ann Hathaway

Hi! There is boy and I have a huge crush rather i m in love with him from past 4 years.He first wrote on a paper that he likes me even before i knew his name then i fell in love when i went to ask he said its nothing like that.Then i fell in love.We both are in same school but diff classes . We live opposite to each others house and we can see what sgoin on in the house.He wears the same dress code as i do sometimes and finds and unnecesarry reason to come out from where i can see him.We have am unusual eye contact. But neither he nor me is taking a step .What should I do?Is he in love with me.

Reply April 1, 2017, 4:19 pm

Amelie

I met this guy and had a great date with him exactly one week ago. During the date he suggested meeting a few days later on the weekend, I said I would love to but we didn’t make any solid plans. He text when he got home saying he had a nice time, he also text the next afternoon. On the Saturday he texted good morning and I replied but no response from him after that and we didn’t end up meeting. The next day, another good morning text….these good morning texts have come every morning since the date (except one day I said good morning first as I hadn’t replied to his message from the night before) and we exchange a few lighthearted texts from there on and I never text back right away-Usually just because I am busy at work or driving. I believe that I have shown I am interested in him by being responsive without being too keen or trying to pursue him. I don’t know if this is backfiring as he didn’t follow up the suggested second date (I thought he maybe just forgot but I know I am probably kidding myself) and he hasn’t suggested another since. YSo what gives? Why initiate contact every day but no plans for another date?

Reply March 30, 2017, 4:17 am

confused

so theres this guy i was into..long story short.. he wasnt /isnt over his ex. and i knew it.. but i fell for him. anyway.. i would get mixed signals from him all the time (i dont wanna go into detail unless discussed in private). eventually, i confessed how i felt and got friendzoned. said he saw me like a sister.. so naturally, i distanced myself and started doing me.. last weekend i went to some party, i said hi then minded my own business (didnt pay attention to him like i used to but still acknowledged his presence) and he would pull me in to dance with him which he never does. and i was the only one he would pull in to dance with him.

Reply November 21, 2016, 12:32 pm

January

Don’t get taken in and confused. I even told a guy I cared. He told me to my face he didn’t want me! The signs were there.. Sitting outside my house the stares the standing close etc. Now he married ex left him and now he’s doing same thing. He can’t commit he’s darn weird. Tired of waiting for nothing. What a waste. Moving on 2017 with new attitude. That’s it. I’m finally free in heart and mind over this person. So happy. I’m sure I will find a real man soon. And so will u.

Reply December 22, 2016, 7:38 am

Laurie

I was dating my boyfriend for 2 yrs before we broke up just before the holidays in nov. We lived together and currently still are. He wants me to take the time I need to find a place that is best for my daughter and i. Which I appreciate. Reason for the split was that it was hard to blend the kids, he felt I was to hard on his kids, and we are both stubborn and always right. We didn’t communicateven well. He said he tried but I feel I tried. He tells me he loves me very much that he just can’t do this anymore. I give him space and mind my own but the minute I do. He is in my face talking about what our problems werected. He tells me he is very hurt and this is tough on him too. That he thought I was the one. I went and stayed with a friend and the whole time it was where are u? are u coming home?I thought space was best. Now I’m not sure. We have slept together a few times…I know the love is there but how can I get him to see that? I’m not sure where to go from here…like I said I can see the pain in his eyes and I know he loves me…my thing is though, if he loved me that much would he let me go?

Reply December 26, 2016, 11:38 am

Ivanka

This is by far the best and truest article about dating I’ve come across.

Reply October 21, 2016, 10:58 am

January

That’s for sure!

Reply December 22, 2016, 7:40 am

Jay

There’s this guy I really like at work, we used to text a lot – even on our days off and we talk about other things. Recently though, he hasn’t been texting me as frequently and even if I text him first, he won’t reply to one of my messages, but will reply to something I needed to be resolved at work. People at work think that there’s something going on between us – it’s obvious to them. At work, he’ll come find me and we’ll talk and my coworkers catch him sneaking glances at me. This may seem redundant to ask, but I really can’t tell what to do from this standpoint on! Any advice?

Reply October 16, 2016, 12:36 pm

Breanna

Hi I’m not really sure if this guy likes me. We were at a party with a bunch of friends and well the cops showed up. I wound up running in a corn field and he found me and comforted me we have never been very close but he constantly had an arm around me or made sure that I was warm or that I was okay and if I was walking behind him he would make sure I was still there and if I needed help he was there if it wasn’t for him I don’t think I would have made it but during all that I started to like him and I don’t know if he was just being a good friend or what.

Reply July 24, 2016, 10:32 pm

Eley

He might just be a gentleman. Are you guys dating now? I see this was posted back in July.

Reply August 29, 2016, 12:36 pm

Donna Glasgow

I realize that I never been in any relationship for longer than 6 months. I am 40 years old. I will say however that I am the one who has always broken up with the guy, for fear of being hurt. I don’t want to continue like this anymore. I want to be in a good, healthy relationship and I want to be free from all fears and hang ups about men.

I recently met a guy but he is in a relationship with someone. We met about 4 months ago while I was on a business trip and on the day we met, I believe because of how deeply we connected, being physical was something we could have done but choose not to do.

Since then, he calls me every day and has done so for 4 months now. He shares every part of his life with me and values my opinion. He is also there for me the minute I express concerns or even hint that something is wrong. He says he more than likes me.

I like him a lot but I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who is in a relationship with someone else. I must admit that he is a loving and respectful man. He makes time for me and he uses every opportunity to spend time with me.

he always says that he is glad that he never started off the relationship between us with a sexual encounter because he would not have gotten to know the person that he cares for now.

Sometimes we feel like really great friends. Best friends even, so much so that I often recommend that we remain just friends but he says no to this.

This man I possibly love more than any man I have ever met. We have not been intimate as yet but he wants to be and he says that he wants us to continue to get to know each other.

Sigh
Donna

Reply July 23, 2016, 4:34 am

Nina

I am 35 yo girl dating the 40 yo successful doctor. He’a a succesful Physician Assistant in SF, divorced and has 1 son. I also come from a highly respectable Indonesian famil We’ve been in 10 months of long distance before he decided to come to visit me on July 16, my birthday. He never mentioned before that he’s taking his female PA with him even though he told me that after visiting me he’s going to go to Singapore for a medical conference. We had great times, finally made love. everything was beautiful until I got drunk and I felt that his female PA touched me. the mistakes I made was I yelled at his Female assistant, when I drunk on my birthday. I also refused to have sex with him. I didn’t remember any of the event cause I was so drunk, I only remembered that I vomit before I passed out.
The next morning he became cold and distance and kicked me out from the apartment we rented, his PA told me that he needs to go to Singapore to attend a meeting and I better leave cause they want to finish some work before going to the airport. at first I complained cause he promised to stay with me at least for a week but he told me that he is also shocked with the change of schedule and asked me to leave soon. Before I left, I apologized directly to his PA about what happened when I was drunk and also apoloflgized to him for pushing him away when he tried to have sex with me while I was drunk. He kissed me and hugged me before I go and told me that he’s proud of me for being calm and showed dignity under the unexpected circumtances. Shortly after I go I sent him long messages to thank him for a memorable birthday and the effort he made to fly from San Fransisco to Jakarta to visit me, I also apologized for my attitude when I was drunk. I told him that I will give him space and time he needs, I told him I love him and I don’t need another man to make me whole and I will just do the things I do and keep working my way to get scholarship to USA as we’ve planned. I told him, I’ll go to US with or without him. This is the first time I made mistake and for the whole 10 months during our Long distance I showed him I am no drama queen, I am strong, independent and have qualities he needs in a partner.

it’s been 2 days since the night. He’s going back to his country now. and still no call nor messages.
He’s not blocking me on the apps we use to communicate though. I stop messages him and I9 don’t even call him not even once until now. I show him that I mean it when I said I want to give him space he needs.
Do you think I still have a chance with him?
I’m still trying to accept the fact that he broke my heart and he might slept with his female PA. I guess I’m still on that classic denial state.
Any help/advice is warmly accepted.

Reply July 20, 2016, 8:48 pm

Eley

Nina, I’d say move on from this one. He might be thinking that you do not know how to hold your own when under the influence of alcohol, to him he might not think that those are qualities he wants in a partner.

As for his female assistant, did you all sleep on the same bed? When you say she touched you, touched you how? It seems like you were jealous of her, did he give you any reason to be?

I would give him space but move on, if he comes back-great, if not, you know not to make this kind of mistake again. Also, please work on your behavior when it comes to consuming alcohol, it’s a huge turn off for me especially those looking for life long partners.

Reply August 29, 2016, 12:35 pm

Zoey

Dear All,
I recently took the quiz about ” Doe he like me?”, the results that I have received explained exactly what I was blinded to see.
I meet this guy about 3 months ago, and we hooked up the first night of meeting, I thought that was the end of meeting him, until he started inboxing me, and thereafter we started chatting via messaging. We messaged everyday, and I went to him whenever had plan. But I also went to him and he never planned to come to me. I invested a lot of my time into him and got somewhat attached knowing that I had him to go too, whenever I needed to chill and hang out. We talked a lot about the fact that he wants to hook up with other girls because his single and young, and I don’t like that, but nevertheless, we have no title, so why would I want to stop him from doing what he wants to in his life. So I decided to keep my distance and I stopped chatting to him, after I did the quiz and it mentioned that I should keep some distance until he initiate the communication. Which he has, but I am trying not to get my hopes up because I already know that there isn’t any hope in forming any relationship with him, because he has already made that choice for himself about what he wants to do. Thing is, How are we going to make a friendship work, if whenever we hanged out, we hooked up, We don’t know how to just hang out with being sexual. Am I investing too much time in an hopeless situation?

Reply July 20, 2016, 4:09 am

January

A guy who wants just a hook up is using you and breaking your heart. Stop cold turkey break off this person. Don’t be used ever again. He will never commit. Your life is more valuable than that.

Reply December 22, 2016, 7:47 am

Sh'Quilla

Is There Anybody On Here That I Can Chat With That Can Give Me Any Advice On Love

Reply July 19, 2016, 8:26 pm

sulema

hi am really confused…i approached the guy i completely fell head over heels for, he seemed interested. about a wk later we hooked up, i thought that was the end of it but it wasnt, he would come over on his lunch break and just chill. my thing was i would trip out on him when he didnt txt or call me bc right away. he would explain why, he recently seperated so he was trying to get bck on his feet so he wrkd alot. we eventually hooked up again, but once again i got ugly and he txtd me to relax let him do what he gots to do and things would change. i tried but unfortunately he started to no contact rule…i nagged about wntin tme and attention. now he lives a few houses up from me, he seemed mad at the world but nw hes smiling again and ive caught him lookin dwn my way a few tmes. can u help me to figure out if he still wnts me or its over? what should i do?

Reply July 11, 2016, 10:21 pm

Roxanna

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Reply April 25, 2016, 8:39 am

Bianca

I’m so glad I ran across this article, because everything that you are saying is true and every point you have made I felt, I have been talking to this guy for about a month we have school together and he told me how he wants to be my forever. at first I wasn’t buying it but then he was always texting me and wanting to be around me. so I had gotten use to the idea of being his girlfriend until one day he picked up lots of hours at work so we never had a chance to have our first date yet and I started getting curious but after reading this article I realize where I went wrong. I went in paranoia mode and felt as if I could explode at any minute. I did everything in this article and now I realize. I shouldn’t make accusations up about our future. the future hasn’t even started yet, slow down chica. don’t get yourself worked up over something that isn’t there yet. So what I got from this article is to be patient, focus on myself first and then the right man will come along and bring joys in my life by loving myself and putting myself first he would love to be around me and never want to leave, so thank you I love this piece

Reply April 23, 2016, 11:20 am

VEra

The thing with the guy I like is that… ummm maybe I should start differetly. I’m kinda in the situation that I really want to succeed in my studies plus there’s this guy. And I kinda feel that when I really lighten up in pursuing the studying goal he’s no match. Pursuing my studies is like a vision to be fulfilled and every man, except the one’s who also have a vision, would be kind of like a disturbance. At least it’s the thing I think that this is the case – so we’re maybe incompatible? Is that the thing of incompatibility you’re talking of? I really wonder if having BOTH would even be possible??? ;)

Reply March 22, 2016, 2:18 pm

Marie1

Finally…the most honest, sincere, heartfelt article all women should read. Truly brilliant and one I will pass along to my friends that continuously pine away and question whether a guy is into them. While I’m not in a serious relationship I do know in my soul that when I am seeing a guy it’s always obvious whether he’s really interested. They’ll call, schedule dates, text you to see how you are and pursue the relationship. If you’re left wondering and they float in and out of your life you have your answer. As humans when someone or something is important, we make time and invest our energy into that person or pursuit. Just something for everyone to consider. If you keep it simple and remember this it will be easy to navigate the dating world.

Reply October 22, 2015, 1:03 am

misst

How do i speak to you personally? My depression has been causing me a lot of trouble and i have no idea if im overthinking of if im seeing things as it is

Reply October 5, 2015, 3:47 pm

unice

wil a man who proposes marriage to me stil love me as am far from him.

Reply September 17, 2015, 4:40 pm

Jenna

I’ve been following your site for awhile now, and I was wondering if you could give me some advice on my situation..

I’ve been seeing this guy for about 8 months now, and we see each other at least 2 times or more during the week and always on the weekend at sometime. We met through a mutual friend and he was the one to ask me out on our first date. I’m very inexperienced when it comes to dating but when were are together it feels natural. He makes me laugh and we always have a great time together. We share a lot of the same interests and he even invited me to play on his co-ed baseball team this summer with his friends.

He hasn’t had a girlfriend for at least 5 years and he’s told me every one of his girlfriends have cheated on him and that’s why they’ve never worked. When we are together in public people think we are a couple and it gets awkward at times when we haven’t had that discussion yet. We hang out with his friends which are my friends now a lot too and we constantly get asked if we are or aren’t a couple. In July when we were out with friends we were in our own little bubble not really paying attention to those around us, a friend of his asked us “Are you a couple now or what?” He replied “I assumed we were.” But we never discussed it so when I brought it up the next day he claimed that he never said. I’ve tried to bring it up a few months ago too just to clarify what it is we’re doing but I don’t think I did it quite right since he tried to avoid the subject. But he did say he’s not seeing nor looking for anyone else.

I’m just wondering if I push on the subject more or if I should just enjoy how it is at the moment. I know its just a label and it doesn’t bother me when we are together alone, but once people start asking questions it does bother me a little bit.

Thank you,
Jenna

Reply September 3, 2015, 12:12 pm

CC

Thanks for your article. I would like to ask for your advice.
I met a guy(English) in mid June, we went out 3 times till now(the 3rd date was 1 week ago), he didnt really ask me out, Friday around 4:30pm, then texted me ‘do u fancy a burger and beer’ or ‘do u want to grab a pizza and beer, if you dont have any plan’. It sounds like so spontaneous, no plan at all.

But we did have good time, laugh and enjoy he meal, the kiss goodbye politely. we keep texting each other for 8-9 weeks, on and off everyday, he is the one always send me message first but I feel that…the messages become less and less compare with the 1st few weeks.

Honestly, Im not sure whether he likes me or not….or keeping me around..as I really dont feel he likes me or into me…

or…it’s because he is going through divorcing now, so…want to takes thing slow? He did tell me, he wants ltr before we met the 1st time… or it’s because I told him we could be friends after our 1st time, so he now sees me a friend only?

The reason why I told him, its ok to be friends, it’s because, it’s obvious that he sent me fewer message after the 1st date, so I thought he was not interested in me, that’s why i sent him ‘friends message’, then he replied, he was no problem to be friends at the moment, as he was so busy in work and felt tired in dirvocing…

Sorry, I know…Im not good in writing, as Im from Asia, hope you understand what Im saying and thanks for your attention.

Reply August 17, 2015, 5:16 am

Sunshine Johnson

There is a guy at my workplace that I like and we joke around all the time about different things and a few week ago he gave me his kik messenger name and told me to message him and now at work he makes it a poi t to find out where I’m at and he will walk by me and kind of rub on me or pushed on me in a friendly way and he smiles at me and winks at me sometimes and so I don’t k ow if he likes me or if he is just playing me so I’m asking u for your advice so if u get time will u pleas help me understand….thanks so much

Reply August 6, 2015, 8:05 pm

Patricia Espiritu

I love reading all of your point of views in relationship . It helps me to understand how a man thinks . Questions that I ask myself you seem to know the answer . I am currently dating a man that I’ve known for many many yrs . We started out as friends and now we are seeing each other . I have strong feelings for him . He said he likes me to, but I want more . We have been seeing each other x 2 yrs . I’m afraid to ask him where he see this friendship going towards . I don’t want to pressure him . I want more them just friends .
Thank you

Reply August 6, 2015, 12:22 am

Me

I feel like what this articles tells me is that I’ve never really had any man actually interested in me or interested in me enough to pursue me. I’ve been approached by guys that I’ve been interested in, but then they quickly leave. I don’t know if I’m acting too interested or not interested enough. I pretty much feel like I want to give up!

Reply August 3, 2015, 3:26 pm

Phoebe

Men will often only approach women that are approachable, so if you are tense or scared of being rejected yourself you might unconsciously give off signals that say ‘do not approach’. So I wouldn’t give up just yet =P Work on being more approachable

Reply August 14, 2015, 2:59 am

AdorkableBlond

I absolutely LOVE this article. It is so important to hear and hear and hear (because sometimes we girls says “yes I know but..” ) so hearing it more than once is good. The only thing I would add is that sometimes we make it confusing because of self esteem issues. I’m dating a guy now (after 20 years in an abusive marriage) and on our first date he drove 3 hours to see me (we live in different cities – he didn’t even ask me to meet him half way) he drove here, brought me chocolates, took me to eat, we spent several hours talking and he was a perfect gentleman the entire time. When he left he texted me about an hour later (wasn’t even home yet) and asked me out again. And I noticed myself wondering later that night “does he like me”. When I realized I was questioning things I had to step back and think “why am I even asking” – there were no mixed signals at all. But just as our brains can make up signs that aren’t even there (the emotional detective) we can also make up problems that aren’t there either if we aren’t careful. So if you ask “does he like me”- look at why you are asking – if you can’t see a reason to ask you probably have some issues with self esteem or past relationships you need to work on. (Which I know, I should have those taken care of before dating, but who has that kind of time?) :)

Reply August 3, 2015, 1:42 pm

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