You’ve been seeing this guy for a while now, and things seem to be going well. But there’s a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that something’s not quite right.
Maybe you’re wondering if he’s really in it for the long haul or if you’re just spinning your wheels in a relationship that’s going nowhere.
I get it. It’s a tough spot to be in, and it’s totally normal to feel uncertain. But here’s the thing: when a guy is truly committed to you, it shows in his actions, not just his words.
I’m going to break down the seven major signs that he’ll never commit, so you can stop second-guessing yourself and start seeing the situation for what it really is.
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He explicitly says, “I don’t want a relationship”
Let’s start with the most obvious sign: he tells you straight up that he doesn’t want a relationship.
Now, you might be thinking, “But Eric, people can change their minds, right?” And sure, they can.
But if we’re talking about what’s the best way to approach this?
Here’s the cold, hard truth: When a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him.
I’ve seen this scenario play out countless times. A woman meets a guy, and right from the start, he says something like, “I’m not looking for anything serious,” or “I can’t be in a relationship right now.”
Maybe he’s fresh out of a divorce, just had a breakup, or claims he’s too busy with work. Whatever the reason, he’s explicitly telling you he’s not up for commitment.
The reason doesn’t matter, the punchline does. And the punchline is “I don’t want commitment.”
Now, you might think, “That’s fine, I’m not looking for anything serious either.”
So you start dating, maybe even hooking up regularly.
Days turn into weeks, weeks into months. And before you know it, you’ve caught feelings. Suddenly, you’re hoping things will turn into something more.
But here’s the thing: he meant what he said from the beginning.
MORE: Biggest Signs He’s Never Going to Settle Down With You
Men are usually pretty straightforward about this stuff. If he said he didn’t want a relationship, he wasn’t lying or playing hard to get. He was being honest.
So if you find yourself in this situation, take a step back and really listen to what he’s saying.
Don’t try to change his mind or hope he’ll come around eventually.
If you want a committed relationship and he’s made it clear that’s not what he’s offering, you’re better off believing him and moving on.
But there is a caveat to this, which I’ll give you in the final item below.
He deflects when you bring up commitment
You’ve been seeing each other for a while, and you decide it’s time to have “the talk.” You know, that conversation about where things are headed.
But when you bring it up, his response is… less than enthusiastic.
Maybe he says something like, “I like things the way they are,” or “Why do we need to label it?”
He might even tell you that if you’re not happy with the current situation, he understands if you want to walk away.
This is a classic move from a guy who’s not interested in committing.
MORE: 13 Definite Signs He’s Not Serious About You
He’s essentially telling you that he’s comfortable with the status quo and has no intention of taking things to the next level.
And by saying he understands if you want to leave, he’s putting the ball in your court without actually changing anything on his end.
Here’s what’s really going on: he’s content with the current arrangement.
It’s not that he has some kind of deep commitment issues or pathological condition.
It just that men can be totally fine with a situation where they’re getting consistent sex and pleasant companionship, even if there’s no deeper emotional connection or potential for a committed relationship.
It’s not that he’s trying to use you or take advantage of you.
He’s just satisfied with things as they are and doesn’t see any benefit or desire for more commitment. In fact, he might see commitment as a limitation.
So if you’re looking for more and he’s deflecting these conversations, it’s a pretty clear sign that he’s not on the same page as you when it comes to commitment.
Conversations stay surface-level or focus only on sex
Think about your conversations with this guy.
Are they always light and casual?
Do they revolve mostly around what you’re doing next weekend or what happened on the latest episode of your favorite show?
Or maybe they mainly focus on when you’re going to hook up next?
If you find that your chats never really go beyond surface-level topics or sex, that’s a red flag when it comes to commitment.
In a relationship that’s moving towards commitment, there’s a depth to your communication.
You share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. You talk about your hopes, dreams, and fears.
There’s an openness and vulnerability that goes beyond just having a good time together.
But when a guy isn’t interested in committing, he often keeps things light and superficial.
Why?
Because deep, meaningful conversations create emotional intimacy, and that’s exactly what he’s trying to avoid if he’s not looking for a serious relationship.
Now, I’m not saying every conversation needs to be deep and profound. But if you notice that he consistently steers clear of any topic that might lead to a more meaningful connection, it’s a sign that he’s keeping you at arm’s length emotionally.
Remember, for a man to want to commit, you need to inspire love in him.
There needs to be deep emotional connection, intimacy, and understanding.
These things are not present in relationships where conversations never go beyond the surface level.
Now, I want to make it clear: It’s great for a relationship to have sexy flirtation and fun.
I’m not saying to throw cold water on any of that; that would be a mistake.
I’m saying to notice if the conversations really tightly stay only on sex and surface level conversation, almost as if it’s never meant to go outside that.
MORE: How Do I Get Him To Commit To Me?
He resists deeper conversations
So, let’s say you try to take things deeper.
Maybe you start sharing something personal about your past, or you try to discuss your feelings about the relationship.
What happens?
If he’s not interested in committing, you might notice that he suddenly becomes uncomfortable. He might try to change the subject, make a joke to lighten the mood, or even find an excuse to end the conversation altogether.
This resistance to deeper conversations is a clear sign that he’s not interested in building the kind of emotional intimacy that’s necessary for a committed relationship.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel safe to express themselves freely.
There should be a culture where you can share your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.
This kind of open, unfiltered communication is crucial for building a deep, lasting connection.
But when a guy consistently shuts down or deflects these attempts at deeper conversation, he’s showing you that he’s not willing to create that kind of emotional bond.
He’s keeping things on a surface level because that’s where he wants them to stay.
To be clear, I’m not talking about “downer” conversations. You know, those conversations that primarily talk about something negative at their core.
Sometimes it’s good for a partner to change the subject versus having you take the conversation to a negative place. Complaining, sulking, blaming, etc. are all some examples of this.
I’m talking about deeper conversations that talk about what’s meaningful and important to you.
I’m talking about conversations where you’re opening up for them to understand you better and for you to understand them better.
If he’s deflecting and avoiding those types of conversations, yeah, that’s a bad sign for him wanting commitment…
He doesn’t show interest in what’s meaningful to you
Think about the last time you shared something that was really important to you.
Maybe it was a childhood dream, a fear you’ve been struggling with, or an experience that shaped who you are. How did he respond?
If he’s not showing genuine interest in these deeper aspects of your life, it’s a sign that he’s not invested in truly knowing and understanding you.
In a relationship that’s moving towards commitment, both partners are genuinely curious about each other.
They want to know what makes the other person tick, what’s important to them, what their dreams and fears are.
When a man is falling in love and considering commitment, he wants to understand what’s meaningful and important to you.
He wants to know your heart, to see the world through your eyes. This kind of deep understanding and connection is what inspires love and commitment in a man.
MORE: Does He Like Me?
But if he’s not interested in these aspects of your life, if he doesn’t seem to care about your deeper thoughts and feelings, it’s a clear sign that he’s not looking to build that kind of emotional bond with you.
He keeps you separate from his close friends and family
Another major sign that he’s not planning to commit is if he keeps you separate from the important people in his life.
If you’ve been dating for a while and you still haven’t met his close friends or family members, that’s a red flag.
When a man is serious about a relationship, he wants to integrate you into his life. He wants his friends to meet you, he wants his family to get to know you.
Why? Because he sees a future with you and wants you to be a part of his world.
But if he’s keeping you at arm’s length from these important aspects of his life, it’s often because he doesn’t see the relationship as long-term.
He might be enjoying your company, but he’s not thinking about building a shared life together.
This separation can also make it easier for him to keep things casual.
If you’re not interacting with his friends and family, there’s less pressure on him to define the relationship or make any kind of commitment.
So, if you’ve been together for a significant amount of time and you still feel like an outsider in his life, it’s worth considering whether he’s really interested in building a future with you. It’s particularly concerning if he won’t introduce you to them even after you’ve been dating for months.
You’re unwilling to walk away
Here’s a sign that’s a bit different from the others, but it’s just as important: you’re unwilling to walk away, no matter what.
Maybe he didn’t outright say from the beginning that he doesn’t want commitment. But whenever the topic comes up, he resists or changes the subject.
And here’s the kicker: you stay anyway.
The situation might not be that he’s actively blocking commitment.
It could be that you’re so afraid of losing him, you’re here to stay whether he commits officially or not.
At the root of it, you want love and commitment from him, but you’re unwilling to say no to anything less than that.
You’re essentially saying “yes” to what you want to say “no” to because you’re scared that if you say “no”, you’ll lose the guy.
And you know what? You might lose the guy if you say no. That’s true.
But here’s the thing: you might also get what you want.
If you say yes to what you don’t want, you can be sure you’ll keep getting more of it. After all, you’re saying yes to it.
But if you say no to what you don’t want, you at least open up the possibility of getting what you do want.
There’s another problem here: when you say yes to what you don’t want, you sacrifice your self-respect.
And if you do that, he can’t respect you either. I’m not saying he doesn’t want to respect you, I’m saying he can’t.
How could he if you don’t even respect yourself?
If you want him to commit to you, he needs to love you. And if you want him to love you, he needs to be able to respect you.
My point here is that if you’re afraid and unwilling to lose him, you’ll never say no to him.
So you’re staying no matter what, regardless if he commits to you or not.
In this scenario, you can be sure things will stay as they are in the status quo. There’s nothing at stake, so why would he change?
If you’re going to accept anything from him, he has no reason to step up and committing himself to you will never become a priority.
Remember, a man commits when he realizes his life is better with you in it than without you.
But if you’re always there no matter what, he never has to face that choice. He gets all the benefits without any of the commitment.
So ask yourself: are you willing to walk away if you’re not getting what you want?
Because if you’re not, that might be the biggest sign of all that this relationship isn’t heading towards commitment.
But beyond all of this…
What we’ve covered so far talks about signs that suggest a man isn’t going to commit. But if you’re here reading this, my guess is that you want him to commit.
My guess is that you really like this guy, maybe even love this guy, and you don’t want to lose what you have. You can sense that there’s something special and you just want to know how to make it work…
And look, I don’t sugarcoat this kind of thing: Not every relationship can work out.
BUT in many cases, you have a much better chance of making it work than you might think right now. In fact, when you know the right moves, having his love and commitment can be easy.
It comes down to knowing where to “aim” your communication with him. When you understand men and how men fall in love, it can make your love life a whole lot easier.
And when you don’t know how to do that, relationships tend to head downhill over time.
Maybe you came to this article because you feel like things are stuck and getting worse.
Maybe he’s seems to be pulling away and losing interest. He’s not as responsive to you, he’s not as excited by you, and it feels like you’re losing him…
Do you know what to do in this situation? If not, you might make one of the major relationship-killing mistakes that many women unknowingly make. Read this now so you don’t fall into that trap: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
Also, in every relationship a guy will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit to longterm? The answer to that question will determine everything. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend, and even wife, potential? Do you know what makes a man eager to commit? If not, you need to read this next The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Hope it helps,
eric charles
Take The Quiz: Does He Really Love You?
In summary…
These Are the Biggest Signs He Is Never Going to Commit to You:
- He explicitly says, “I don’t want a relationship”
- He deflects when you bring up commitment
- Conversations stay surface-level or focus only on sex
- He resists deeper conversations
- He doesn’t show interest in what’s meaningful to you
- He keeps you separate from his close friends and family
- You’re unwilling to walk away
Written by Eric Charles
