The Truth About When He Doesn’t Call (And What To Do About It)

So you met a great guy, he got your number, you were really excited about all the possibilities … and then you never heard from him. Ouch.

A lot of women make the mistake of blaming themselves. They wonder if they did something wrong, if they turned him off somehow, if they were too desperate or too cold or too aggressive and so on.

I get it. Rejection hurts no matter what your gender or who you are.

I hate to admit it, but I’ve gotten numbers and never called more times than I could even recall. It’s not because I’m a bad guy, it’s because I’m human. I don’t always know how I’m going to feel about something a day from now or even an hour from now. A lot of the time a guy will get your number because he thinks maybe this is something he wants to pursue, but then for whatever reason, he changes his mind, or something comes up. That’s really what’s at the heart of it, not him being a jerk or a player.

MORE: When a Guy Never Calls

I’ve had girls give me the wrong number (I always like to pretend they did this by accident because self-deception can come in handy when it comes to protecting the old ego!), and yeah it hurts, but you move on.

So let’s take a look at why a guy will get your number, and then never call or text you.

1. He forgot

It sounds like a dumb excuse, but people get busy. Life happens. Now a guy typically won’t forget about a woman he was absolutely blown away by. But a woman he was somewhat interested in … well, in that case, it’s very possible.

He probably did find you attractive and he did enjoy talking to you, and he probably did intend to call … but then work got busy and things came up and all of a sudden a few weeks flew by and now he just feels weird calling because so much time has passed.

MORE: If a Guy Doesn’t Call Does It Mean He’s Just Not That Into You? 

Again, this will usually only happen with a guy who was lukewarm about you, to begin with. When a guy really likes you, I don’t care what’s going on in his life, he won’t forget that he met you.

2. He’s insecure and afraid of rejection

Guys also have fears and insecurities when it comes to relationships, even the most seemingly macho among us. It’s possible you sent him some mixed signals– maybe you were just being shy, maybe you didn’t know how you felt about him, maybe you’re a little awkward around guys you’re attracted to– for whatever reason, it’s possible he just couldn’t get a read on you and his insecurities are stopping him from reaching out.

A lot of guys won’t make a move unless they know for sure they won’t be rejected. The male ego can be fragile and sometimes we would rather not try than take a risk and end up feeling like a loser. The best thing you can do is send him clear, green-light signals. This doesn’t mean you need to throw yourself at him. Just smile, make eye contact, be present, flirt effectively, and show some level of interest.

Don’t think you need to act cold or uninterested in order to hook his interest. The only thing you’ll succeed in doing if you go down that road is making him too afraid to contact you.

MORE: How to Get a Guy to Text You Back 

3. He met someone else

Let’s be real, the dating options are endless these days.

Maybe he found someone else on a dating app, maybe he met some other girl after you left the party, maybe he was casually dating someone when you met him and now things are getting more serious. With the advent of dating apps and websites, people literally have hundreds of thousands of potential mates at their fingertips.

This obviously comes with a lot of pros and cons. One major pro is you have access to so many different types of people, and a con is that you have a very limited window to make an impression. This isn’t only reserved for online dating. Even when you’re out at a bar or a party, there are many options and there is always a chance he’ll meet someone else. If that happens … well, it sucks, but that’s life. You can’t win them all, and it’s a waste of time to try.

MORE: Why Men Say They’ll Call … And Don’t 

4. He just likes to flirt

Flirting is fun and it feels good. Getting a girl’s number feels good. Sometimes this is the goal in and of itself, not necessarily to meet a girl to date. It’s possible he just enjoys flirting and he wasn’t really looking for anything beyond that.

But I do want to add that most guys don’t set out to get a girls number and never call. Maybe he thinks he will call, or maybe he just doesn’t think much about it and is just living in the moment.

5. He doesn’t think you’re right for him

Sometimes we can feel one way in the moment,  then we think about things a little more and feel totally different. Maybe when he was with your he was captivated by your beautiful eyes and hilarious one-liners, but then he thought about it and realized he doesn’t know if he wants to date someone with just a bold personality, or whatever the case may be.

Or maybe he thought you were a little too needy and that turned him off. It could be anything, really, because not everyone is a match. And for whatever reason, he just felt that something important was missing and this is why he decided not to call you.

MORE: Why Guys Disappear and How to Deal

6. He’s taken

There is always a possibility that he already has a girlfriend, or is seeing someone and heading in the girlfriend direction. So why did the little bastard ask for your number? He most likely just got caught up in the moment. Maybe his relationship is in trouble, maybe they’re not official yet, maybe he was just really drawn to you and he lost perspective, maybe he just wanted an ego boost. You can’t ever know and it’s a waste of time to try and figure it out.

It’s also possible he just did it out of habit. It can almost be like a reflex. Which brings me to my next point…

MORE: The Real Reasons He Doesn’t Call Back

7. He asked for your number without really thinking if he wanted it

Like I said, its just kind of a reflex. You’re talking to a girl, you’re flirting and laughing, you’re enjoying each other, and you can see it in her eyes that she’s just waiting for you to ask the question. And it just feels like the thing you’re supposed to do.

A guy won’t always stop and ask himself: is this a girl I want to date? Am I interested in her? Am I actually going to call her? He just kind of reacts to a situation.

MORE: 9 Reasons He Didn’t Call After Your First Date 

What to Do When He Doesn’t Call

So he got your number, you were super stoked to hear from him … and then you never did. Your immediate instinct is to obsess and analyze. You have an overriding need to figure out what happened. What did you do wrong? Were you too desperate? Did you not show enough interest? Did you have something stuck in your teeth? How could he not call?

This is a bad idea. It’s not productive, it doesn’t feel good, and you won’t ever find a definitive answer. And even if you do find the answer, that still isn’t going to change anything.

If he didn’t call, do not make the mistake of trying to figure out what’s wrong with you. And don’t go down the self-pity road, because what’s the point? And do not stress over it!

Just accept that you can’t win them all. Accept that not everyone is a match. The reason he didn’t call is that he wasn’t interested enough. Or he has a wife and kids tucked away somewhere. Or any of the reasons I discussed earlier in the article. Instead of trying to figure out why just accept what is and move on with your head held high.

MORE: Why Guys Don’t Text Back

How to Inspire Him to Call You

There are several reasons why a guy might not call but there is one reason why he will: he’s into you. That’s it. So if you can rouse his interest significantly, there is a good chance you’ll be hearing from him. If you don’t capture his attention fully, then there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll hear from him.

Here are a few ways you can tip the odds in your favor:

• Don’t go into the situation with any expectations or goals. Be present, be engaged, be happy, be positive, and be interested in him. That’s all you need to do. When you let your inner light shine, people can’t help but be drawn to it and want more of you. If the entire time you’re talking to him you’re thinking, Does he like me? Is he going to get my number? Will I hear from him? Is he boyfriend potential? How do I feel about his height? And so on,  then you’re interacting with the thoughts in your head and not with the person in front of you.
• Give him the space to pursue you. That’s what creates interest and intrigue, that’s what keeps you on his mind. This doesn’t mean you act cold and disinterested. Show enough interest to let him know he won’t be shot down if he pursues you further and leave it at that. You can’t force his hand, just be cool be happy, show a little interest without being aggressive and leave it at that.
• Expect that he will call, because why wouldn’t he? If you go in with a fear that he won’t call you, you’ll do things to ensure he will. This may come across as desperate. Maybe you keep asking him, “Do you promise you’ll call?” “When will you call?” Maybe you express that you don’t believe you’ll ever hear from him again. All of this is unattractive and reeks of insecurity. Be confident and just expect he’ll call because you’re a catch!

MORE: 12 Do’s and Don’ts When He Doesn’t Call 

I hope this article helped you better understand why he didn’t call, and what to do about it. Like I said, it’s about making a strong impression on him and getting him to think about you after the interaction is over. Do you know what makes a woman irresistible to a man? Do you know what makes a woman stand out from all the rest? If not, read this next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman

These Are the Reasons He Didn’t Call You:

1. He forgot.
2. He’s insecure and afraid of rejection.
3. He met someone else.
4. He’s just a flirt.
5. He doesn’t think you’re right for him.
6. He’s taken.
7. He asked for your number without really thinking if he wanted it.