Ask a Guy: When Is It Time To Leave?

He would never open up to me . Soon I started sleeping in seprate room. He would alway out me down in front of my girls. He never wanted to take me anywhere. I kept holding on in this relationship. Then recently in February of this year. I was doing his laundry and found a receipt from a restraunt, guest two. I confront him and he said the waiters made a mistake. Then I finally got it out of him. That he took a girl out to dinner. He and up leaving me and his cloths and all his other stuff behind. I never knew the reason why he did what he did to me. I feel that i wasted half my life being with him. And now I cannt afford the space rent were I live and now I have to move out. I feel so betray from him. I wish he would of did this to me like five years ago . And he was a type of guy that would worshop the ground I step on.

One of your Best Articles Eric! Clarity is key! Thank you very much for this.

I would love some advise please .
I met my recent ex boyfriend while I was travelling and we fell inlove and after a few months I moved my whole life across the world to be with him . I lived on my own as he lived with his family and in his country people only move out when they get married. That was fine but I only saw him on weekends when I stayed in his house and I felt very alone because he never made an effort to make time for me during the week . I loved him and I felt like he cared so I dealt with it . As time went on I felt like we didn’t have a close bond and I felt he was closer to his female friends which made me jealous . He used to complain about me to one of his girl friends and tell her what I would say to him etc ( I read his messages to her as I felt in my gut he had a closer bond with her than he lead on ) there was times I felt he cared about me but times when I really needed him he wasn’t there , example when I was sick and I needed medication ASAP but I couldn’t leave my house as I was so bad, he said he was going to work and to ask somebody else ! I was angry then and he fought with me and didn’t visit me that night when he had said before he would. I always felt I was begging for attention and that the relationship wasn’t secure and that I was hanging around on a foreign country just waiting on him to make a big commitment , and I felt I was wasting my time . I felt insecure and my self confidence dropped as he never complimented me or made me feel good about myself , he told me that he doesn’t need to tell me things like that and that I should feel good about myself anyway . So many things happened but at the end of the day he broke up with me as he felt I was a bad person cause I would fight with him because I wanted attention and I wanted affection and I wanted us to live together and I wanted a future and he said he only wants to focus on himself and his future now . He said he’s selfish . He wouldn’t ever communicate with me or resolve situations so I always looked like a psycho trying to talk about things to make things better . I feel empty now because even though I wasn’t happy I feel like he threw me away after all my efforts and now I think he’s seeing some new girl just three weeks after I left the country . Now I feel he’s giving her lots of Attention and compliments like I always wanted . How can I heal from this pain of feeling unwanted and not good enough for him to treat me well .

i met a guy on line. we messaged &everything was cool. we never discussed sex. after we met he messaged me to say he thought i was frigid, cold etc…. (he’s been an attorney for 30 yrs which i didn’t know at the time) i thought wtf? where would he get that idea? next time i saw him i gave him the blow job of his life. then we started seeing each other. we’ve been to dinner twice. we email but mostly for sex. when we’re with each other we have fun talking. i give him lots of mixed messages like you’re my friend, then ask if i’m his main squeeze which he says yes to etc… he once told me he was open to anything, then he said he enjoyed his time with me. we always have sex. he’s hooked on my blow jobs. i’ve asked him personal things & he answers. but he never asks about anything personal about me. the other day i was asking him things & he wasn’t mad but says why the grilling? then firmly said i enjoy my time with you. i asked him to the movies for today last night. but i slept hard & didn’t wake until 2:PM. I checked my mail & there was nothing from him. he’s very considerate when we’re together. but he takes off on trips with his sister & bro making him incommunicado. then he pops back up like a bad penny & asks me over. i found him on a dating site where the site sited me as a great match for him as before. i laughed & told him to go for it. anyhow he gave me some bullshit story about how he’d joined & how he wasn’t into it at all, that it was the same old shit. being an attorney he’s good at lying. i am not digging this at all because i feel like i’m being used. i told myself never to fall in like with him. but somehow it happened. i am furious with myself. especially since it wouldn’t be at all difficult to date anyone else. but i’m completely stupid because i think is there hope, can i turn this around, or should i use my favorite: ignoring him completely until he realizes that i mean it’s aloha on the string guitar for you buddy. i need help & could really use some of your thoughts.

Despite the fact that I’m not young, and have two children, I’m not very experienced with men and don’t understand them very well.

I met up with an old male friend from 10 years ago. We were both single parents, and had studied nursing together. We are still both single parents. Ten years ago, we spend a year studying together and were quite close friends, but nothing more. So I was thrilled to meet up with him again at a theatre group we both belonged to. I asked him and another girl to join me for a cheap meal between theatre performances (he had hiw 10 year old son with him). A week or two we went out for pancakes and a week after that, we caught a movie. But all he wanted to do was come round to my house and even asked to use the shower. I never invited him inside (actually because the house was really messy) and after our second outing (which was nice although he appeared a bit nervous), he no longer contacted me. I’ve never had that situation with any of my girlfriends. He commented on how kind he thought I always was. I’m assuming now he just wanted sex, and when he didnt get it, wrote me off and went about his normal life. Can someone explain what happened?