Decoding Male Behavior: Why Do Men Lie?

It’s hard to say

if your boyfriend thinks your liying about being sick and he wants you to drive to come see him anyway. Is this right of him?

You are absolutely right about everything you said in the article. However, many men straight up lie even when his girlfriend does NOT deliver drama from having received the truth. Even this article has stereotyped from past experiences… which is why, even coming into potentially healthy relationships, some children lie without even trying. That is not something to make excuse-filled articles about, and no amount of ratonalization can justify lying on either ends.

How can anyone hurt another human being like this.

The lies u talk about in your article are not what breaks up a relationship. A man who promises certain behavior that his partner also promises i.e. like keeping intimate things private and then talks about their lovemaking adventures with someone else was lying when he agreed to keep things private but never intended to. Lying underminds any relationship and calling one out when it is discovered is their consequence for lying and the liar deserves having someone being upset about it.

If u catch your friend or lover in one lie…be assured it is just the tip of the iceberg and u need to dump this person ASAP. How can u trust someone who lies? Trust is the foundation of all relationships. Today’s attitude of everyone lies so just get over it, as your article implies and do not make a fuss about it, is just plain wrong!

The liar is wrong and that is just unacceptable behavior, so go find someone who is trustworthy.

When u lie to someone, u are really saying that person is not worth the truth ! A despicable and disrepectful behavior that no one deserves, especially a person who u have been intimate with.

My boyfriend of 4yrs always lies to me about meeting one of his mates who tried to split us up in the past. They were always together until I came along. Since we got serious his mate walked out of his life for over a yeaand half and has recently turned up and since then my boyfriend had met him and lied about and then when I fiuns out made out it was my fault he hadnt told me. We’ve just bought house abroad and ive just found out my boyfriend arranged to meet him while he was abroad working on the house and didnt tell me. I feel completely humiliated and decieved again. Not sure what to do. Hes once again saying whats my problem. So what if he meets him. He didnt tell me because I dont like him and i’ll make a fuss. Ive told him to sell the house abroad as im not moving out there as hes lier. Whats your advise ?

I’ve dated a pathalogical liar – and while looking back some of the lies are hilarious, it truly scares me that some people are so insecure that they’ll lie about insignificant things like: I have 2 puppies, I lived with my ex gf, Judd Apatow is my mentor and his wife Leslie Mann is at this bar with me……….

Anyway… I just started seeing this guy. And we have a lot in common (or so I think). However, I’ve been getting liar vibes. One evening, he said he was going to watch the Warriors game and then go to a private screening. However, this fool was texting me at a bar by 11pm. So if the game ended at 9, and he drove 20 min to a screening, and then wasn’t at a bar near his house an hour later … it’s impossible. LIE. However, that’s one of those “I want to impress you because I’m invited to cool shit lies.”

But it gets more odd. The other day, he picked me up and we went to his house. He was hungry and ordered pizza, while I just watched tv (in my own world). 30 min later, after being on his phone quite a bit, he does “I need to go to the ER – my stomach hurts.” So I offered to Lyft home, but he refused and drove me home. (At the time I felt like he was lying so I wasn’t overly sympathetic.) then he texted me that he found a free walkin clinic (at 12:30 am on a Sat) on a particular street. So my “used to be lied to” ass googles open clinics in that area, and they’re all closed by 8pm. Mmmmhmmm. So then the next morning, I follow up asking if he’s Ok. And he said he has an allergic reaction and was given a shot and antibiotics. I’m obviously screenshotting every text to my girlfriends, and almost all of them go “you don’t get antibiotics for an allergic reaction.” So, now I’m like – LIAR. Lol.

And then later that day, he was pretending to buy aa house near his apartment on IG story. So IDK.

The point is…. I live in LA, and men lie here ALL the time – and the lies aren’t even for good intention like to protect me or show off.

My man needs to be honest with me.
He lies about things to my face, and I know he is lying.
For instance, he says he hasn’t been smoking pot.
“I was outside on my lunch break at work, and I was standing next to “John”, and he was smoking it.” “Thats why you smell it on me”.
OK.
That still didn’t explain why, when he kissed me, I could taste it on his lips, and smell it on his breath.
Either he took a hit from “John’s” pipe/joint, or he was kissing someone who was smoking it.
Either way, that makes him a liar.

He says he smokes pot to relieve back pain from a herniated disk in his cervical spine. I have a cousin with MS, and she uses marijuana to relieve her symptoms.

I get it. Pot does have some medicinal benefits.
That said, I think there are some screwed up things going on where he works.
A lot of his co workers smoke pot on their breaks/lunches and then go back to work.
I don’t think its necessary for someone to do that. It should be done on their own time, not at work.
I don’t have a problem with him smoking it to relieve pain. I do have a problem with him lying to me about it. In spite of everyone saying that Pot isn’t physically addictive, a person can still become addicted to it.
Also, when he was in his 20’s he overcame a Cocaine addiction. Using Cocaine almost killed him.
So, he is an addict.
What I have a problem with is someone who uses substances to escape their lives. At the end of the day, the problems are still there .
I don’t like being around him when he is stoned.
He doesn’t remember conversations, he stinks of weed, and when he is stoned, I don’t know if his behavior is just him being a little weird that day (silly–which I love), or is it because he’s stoned. I don’t like being in public with him after he drives us to a restaurant after smoking it, and he is slurring his words at the restaurant, and doesn’t even notice that he has food running down his chin onto his shirt. He is an almost 50 year old man, a business professional, not a 20 year old surfer/stoner dude.
Sometimes I think the pot is more important to him than me.
He is finally looking into seeing a doctor, something he hasn’t done in a decade. (Because of his back.) There might be alternative treatments available after he sees a Doctor, and has some tests done on his back.
Suggestions for me on how to deal with this…..
I’m working on finding a counselor for me, to have someone to talk to.
He should have been honest with me when we first started dating 18 months ago, about how much he smokes it.

There is no reason for anyone to be dishonest or unfaithful. If they need to do either, then they should end it. Ok, so some women go wild and freak out. But what are you doing that makes the women go wild and freak out. You are lying because you are doing something you should not be doing. I have caught my boyfriend lying a few times now, I am now not even sure what is the truth and what is a lie anymore. I have not lied once to him in our 4 1/2 year relationship. It is so disrespectful and hurtful. Also he says he is one place and then I find out he was actually somewhere else. Ofcourse I am now going to start wondering what is he up to, who is he with, why did he need to lie to me, is he messing around. This is the worst possible thoughts to be constantly having. I dont want to leave him, but he is pushing me away and I will eventually have to walk away. As no one deserves to be lied to.

For some reason my husband lies to me about a lot. I spoil him rotten but he can’t be honest with me I have never lied to him in 9 years we been together. Heart broken

Don’t overlook the facts. Don’t make excuses for the behavior. Don’t second guess the reason. God gave you intuition, pay attention to the gut feeling, There is no trust. There is no peace. Don’t feed into the false belief that he will change. You must love yourself and look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are the same? Are you a high value woman? Know the difference, the lesson repeats itself until you learn it. I was married 28 years to a man who lied, thank the lord above for my blessings after my divorce or I would be homeless due to his lies and wickedness. You see the signs, I would run as far away as you could and be the light in this dark world. Your vibe attracts your tribe.

I was online looking to read about something that has nothing to do with men or relationships but this got my attention and it bothered me.
I’m in a long distance relationship and I keep catching him in lies. stupid lies!! his reason for lying is nuts. because he don’t want to be asked 101 questions! lol really?? how about the reason I’m asking all the questions? how about the fact that you started acting strange like not replying to text or answering your phone. disappearing saying you fell asleep yet you pop up online and then say it must be a glitch or something with google you were never online. saying your one place and I find out later that you were somewhere else. why lie if your not doing anything wrong? if it’s a simple ( I’m at my moms house ) why lie and say your at home depot. or say your at the store when your with a friend!! I’m asking lots of questions because you have lied many times over and when you get that gut feeling that someone is lying. go with it because it’s a good chance they are lying!
I will never understand why people lie in a relationship because all it does is make that other person not trust you anymore and it hurts.
The not knowing what is really going on and why all the lies can drive someone crazy. just be honest. I may not like everything you have to say and it may even hurt but I will trust and respect you more knowing that you told me the truth!!!! The fact here is that if you love someone you should trust them with the truth whatever that may be. otherwise you just end up being known as a liar and someone that cant be trusted! you never no if that person is really telling you the truth or lying again! and in that case it ends up driving both people crazy why? because that person you kept lying to will always question you now. So in my case I end up driving him crazy by asking if he’s telling me the truth in what he say’s he’s doing because even when I have asked him that befor he says yes I’m being honest then later I tell him I no your lying he will admit he lied. so now when he tells the truth I never no if its the truth. and I don’t no how we can get pass this because it’s an on going thing. he says he wont lie anymore but then he does!! all it takes is one lie to destroy something good! SAD!

Crazy, I think the biggest reason why men lie has everything to do with the drama ladies create. Men simple lie to avoid the drama.

Well,from the starting I have asked him whether he have ex or not he told me he don’t have any…but yet he do have ,so what’s the point hiding it from me?that’s not a good reason for lying cuz it isn’t a whITE lie… furthermore he didn’t even know … whether he is truly love me or not.we have been dating for 7months and now he told me he not sure whether he love me or not?.. that’s heartache!!

My mother taught my brother that cheating and lying was okay, as long as she got the money and prestige from any positive social results.

I think there are many mothers who “teach” their sons by their own behaviors! I know a married man who claims his wife cheated on him when their kids were in grade school (thereby justifying his own cheating with women whom he targets as potential sex partners); that very man claimed to “be getting a divorce”, just so he could use women, lying to them and deceiving them in ANY MANNER POSSIBLE, even recently “getting rid of a girlfriend of over 32 years, who was “with him for BOTH MARRIAGES”, because he told her he “can’t be friends because she reminded him too much of his painful past”! Now THAT is a sleazy cheater! And he falsely accuses his girlfriend(s) of cheating, BECAUSE HE IS A A CHEATER!!!

As a pilot in a powerful state position, he DOES CHEAT ON HIS WIFE and LIED ABOUT IT, stating his colleagues are/were “just friends”; that’s EXACTLY HOW he HAS BEEN GETTING AWAY WITH CHEATING, and also BY THREATENING THE VICTIMS HE USES AND DECEIVES, especially decent women who don’t want to “play” his sick games and threaten to come forward to the wife to find out the truth about his “getting a divorce statement”!!! He advocates “not wanting to hurt the wife”, when he intentionally cheats on her to her face and then gaslights her by lying about his intimacy, as he is lying to the girlfriend with whom he states he “wants a future” as a simple ruse. The SMART ONES RUN AWAY and find someone decent, once they can shake the stench from a BAD MISTAKE!!! It would kill him to think that’s all I ever though of hm as now, as a “BAD MISTAKE”!!! OOPS … don’t want to step in that!

It’s good to walk downwind and get a whiff of what a REAL scumbag is, only to avoid it like the plague in the future. Sometimes there’s just too much Eau de Taureau on some men, making it more difficult to distinguish cleanliness being next to Godliness, but the overblown use is obviously there for a reason!

He will use the very wife he has been cheating on to PROTECT HIM, because SHE IS AN ATTORNEY, and he has been LYING TO HER ALL ALONG about the other women, SO SHE WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING HE TELLS HER about them, using her natural psychology to “hate his mistresses”, instead of allowing her to see the truth of his intentionally deceitful behavior!!! He even has “social contacts” he planted years ago and plans to use as “character witnesses”; he intentionally structured so many aspects of relationships by compartmentalizing them in such a strategic manner, that I wouldn’t be surprised to find him involved in criminal activity as well, as he also mentioned quadruply encrypting his computer, software, emails, etc, using many proxies in the process.
Whatever you do, don’t turn him, because he is extremely violent, vindictive, vengeful and hateful. Like I said before in my previous response to Faras, “I can’t get away fast enough from an evil man woman, or child”, and the loser I one thought I could respect, turned out to be merely a malformed “grown” character of the latter!

No decent person can “miss” someone like that; they can only GAIN FROM THE ABSENCE of EVIL THEY ALLOW IN THEIR LIVES!!!

Ya know what this is a real load of bs! I don’t giva shit he wants this and that what about what I want anyways I’m so done with lying me. And married men lie the most. I never thought my husband would lie to me but he has and I was blind. Never again!

Sounds like the same excuses my kids give when they lie… As an adult those excuses should have been outgrown…

I have a question that I cannot find an answer to. I have been in a relationship for 22 months now. I live with my partner. I am 55, he is 66. I do not claim to be perfect, in fact I have fallen into the category of doing too much. My question is….WHY DO MEN CHEAT?Especially with women that are either drunks, on drugs or just not worth it in my eyes. his phone is glued to his side practically.

ThanK you

Sometimes I wish I had never been married. My husband has admitted he lied to me about “little” things in counseling. Unfortunately, I do not trust him now because I do not like the men he has befriended at work. He works for a fairly new place, and I think he goes bar hopping and carousing after work on some days. One friend cheats on his significant other, and I hate that he is around him so much. Before he had this job, I did trust him, but who knows if I was just a dope. I can definitely, now, understand why some women never marry. Men lie a lot.

So he lied to me about petty, but potentially big things. They would have been big if I saw them that way. Truthfully, I did blow up at him the first time he told me the truth about something, but it was because he let me believe the lie until timing forced his hand. That’s what upset me…timing forced his hand. He’s still being cowardly because he’s afraid to lose me, but his response to my simple request for the truth put him over the top. He can’t handle it and is responding more than defensively. He’s being borderline mean. Now, let me add…if I lost my sanity on him…he’d take a submissive stance, because he’s gotten used to crazy women. How do you establish a healthy relationship with a man who keeps letting the past interfere with the present? I’ve dealt with it effectively in regards to other matters, like him becoming anxious when suddenly I have to work late. It was difficult, but didn’t take long to resolve that issue. However, lying is a different matter. Lying is a bit more serious than feeling insecure, because you think your woman might be cheating due to past experiences.

Exactly. They are just naturally not what a woman wants; not perfect and what I perceive as bullshit dickness alot.

I’ve been going through this too with my boyfriend of 4 years. He lies to me about everything. He’s had texts in his phone and a picture of someone that I knew but I was not friends with her. He told me repeatedly that she was a friend and nothing was going on with them. Well he would come home at 6 in the morning and say he had fallen asleep in his truck after drinking with the guys. I believed it wasn’t true, he was coming home with blond hair on his clothes. It continued until I could no longer take it. I moved out. He was texting someone and lying to me for months when I realized that nothing was adding up. He would say I love u and only u and he would make it up to me for being out and cancelling on me to do something else. I tried talking with him, texted him and even wrote him a letter and nothing has phased him. If he says he loves me, why does he lie to me about having a relationship with another woman? It makes me sick that I held on to try to save our relationship when he says he will change and nothing has happened. I went to his house and I’ve found blonde hair in many of the rooms, including our former bedroom. He doesn’t know how the hair has gotten there. Surprise! No one deserves a man like this except the brainless wonders he’s hooking up with. Advice?

Does insecurity really have to do with married men lying about their status. I believe it is about greed. Or like when a married man wants to have sex with his underage student. I don’t think that is insecurity. I’ve seen two friends have a nervous breakdown because married men said that they were getting a divorce. Both are seeing a psychologist. I don’t see how they protected these women with their lies. Quite the opposite. They set them up to become suicidal. The married man’s wife committed suicide six months later. If you live a lie to are headed for disaster.

we were high school sweet hearts and he cheated …he came crawling back I said no, fast forward 20 yrs…He’s divorced (cheated on his wife ).. I’m seperated and we both agreed to be just friends /no relationships, omg the sex was awesome, he wined and dined me, I broke it off after 5 months.. “Payback” …he asked me why couldn’t we see each other I told him you will never taste this again I just wanted to see if you was any good in bed.. Of course I lied and told him it was OK. 2 days later mr. ” Im single ” posted his girlfriend on fb why do men lie unnecessary??

I don’t agree with this article. It really takes the blame off the person who is lying. These are pretty obvious reason why someone, not just a man would be scared to admit something. …but the truth is sometimes doing the right thing is hard.

Hi there I don’t even know where to begin, so many things are going through my head. And I’m trying to figure out why men at an old age, feel that is okay to talk to woman online when they are in a relationship and feel that it isn’t cheating cause they aren’t touching them (please explain someone)? Men lie they cheat but want to be in a relationship, why? I have been in this relationship for 17 years now, and I kinda blame myself cause I always take him back. I do everything for him , but it seems like it’s never enough. He has an excuse for everything and anything, he reminds me of an old perverted man who doesn’t want to grow up. All these things I just mentioned above, he does all of those and thinks he won’t get caught but he always does. I’m just so hurt and frustrated cause I treat him very well, from breakfast in bed lunch and dinner served to him. Make his food for work, everything but I guess it’s not enough for him to see that he has a good woman. I’m just so lost to a point where I’m not sleeping or eating well, and I have noticed I drink more wine than usually. Please help cause I cannot deal with this anymore, it’s destroying me and i have lost all confidence in my self. Thank you

I’ve been off and on with this guy since I was 13. I’m 21 now. I’ve experienced different men and I know what I want at this point in my life and that is him. But I don’t know how to make things work for the better. He lies to protect my feelings, but what he doesn’t know is that the lies hurt more than the truth. Hes a musician, he goes and he plays and comes home. I completely trust him, but he still lies about where he’s been or who he’s with. For example: tonight I texted him around 8 he texted me back, and I responded about my day. Before he had left to his show he said he would be home at 6. So after he had sent that one text he hadn’t texted me back again until 12pm saying he was sorry and he had gone home and went to sleep. Well…he didn’t know I had talked to his dad earlier that day around 11pm and he said he wasn’t even home yet. So he said he was home sleeping when he wasn’t. Another thing…when I’m ready to work on the relationship, he’s not ready, and when he’s ready to work on the relationship, he had pushed me away for so long that I got tired of him and I’m not ready to start “working on things”. We go back and forth with this all the time. I really don’t know what to do. And when we are together it’s more than just sex, we can talk most of the time about anything except us, and we do everything together. And we tell people we are together just there isn’t any awkward convos. But when people ask that we close to he says no we are friends, and he introduces me as a friend, and he avoids contact with me when his friends or family is around. But when we are alone or around my family he’s completely different.

Pre, this is a red flag situation. This guy shows an extreme immaturity and an untrustworthy demeanor about himself. If he lies about the small things he will lie about the big things too. You have to ask yourself if you are willing to put up with his games or not? Sound like you have a prankster on your hands. Not good. Do not trust him with your finances, you need to have a separate account from his that he doesn’t know about. Also, do not get any big purchases with this guy like, homes, cars or major credit cards. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has already mentioned these things to you already. Keep a watchful eye on this guy especially where your finances are concerned.

I have a friend with benefits For over a year now he recently just told me that he has a girlfriend and he told me that when he’s committed he’s faithful and that he caresbut come to find out from one of our close friends that he does not have a girlfriend so why would he lie to me

Hey there I need some advice too :/
I have been with a guy for like 5 years, we were high school sweethearts and now we’re in college together. We live together so that we can save some money. He is my bestfriend and we do everything together; we were even going to major in the same thing until I switched career paths. Recently he has started talking to an attractive girl in his class (they actually have all their classes together) and she was even “generous” enough to let him borrow her books for a class she had already taken. She came to our apartment and dropped them off. I recently discovered that they have all their classes together and walk to class together. He is an amazing guy and attractive; he is so supportive and sweet, but I find him to keep things away from me that involve this “chick”. He gets awkward when I ask him about her or he gets mad. I just want to tell her to back off! But then I realize-people will do whatever they desire & I do not need to be on his a** about it because he should know better. Both of our families are really close and they even talk about us getting married one day. His family loves and my family loves him. He has lied to me about texting her, walking to class with her, sitting in class with her, and about group projects they have to do together. I do not understand- the fact that they are friends does not bother me, what bothers me is the fact that he continues to lie and keep things from me. I have already had talks with him and he continues on saying that she’s nothing to worry about, but also gets mad. Help?! What do I do?! It is really hard to be in college while worrying about this :(

I had a guy tell me “I love you” everyday then one day we get into a arguement because he said my pictures were ok he had never said that before but now he’s saying he never loved me it’s just backwards I don’t whether to believe it or not but I broke up with him yesterday

If you call yourself being in a relationship, and all you’re doing is ling, cheating, and sneaking around on your partner then you don’t need to be in a relationship. period. and that goes for a man or a woman. LADIES if your man is ling to you and cheating on you and you gave him chance after chance after chance, and you see no type of progression, nothing is changing? LEAVE HIS ASS! Because what he wasn’t doing for you, another man will. simple as that ! These men think we are supposed to take them back after they dog us out time after time. HELL NO ! Ladies it’s time we start giving these “men”, (I put that in quotes because to me a man doesn’t lie and cheat and sneak around, little boys do.) a taste of their own medicine. We need to show them that they can’t not and will not keep getting away with the things they do. They playing games like they will never lose us ladies! We need to show them that we mean something and that if they are going to continue to lie and all of the above, we soon will not be looking at them anymore, but looking past them.

Thank you. You dont know how much this has enlightened me. Ive been tired of wishing things could be different but I realized the more I wish things to be different the more I push reality and the real answers away from myself. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to liberate my mindset is to accept things as they are. I cant change other people. But I can accept why people do the things they do so I can get what I need from the situation the best I can to meet my own needs. I appreciate your fairness- it has made all the difference for my understanding.

I think these reasons are honestly a lot of crap specially when a man just lies because he feels like it. My ex lied to me about where he lived, about not driving, about work and mostly everything and this was in the first week of meeting each other. Point taken, he didn’t want to drive to my house, neither see me out of school environments but he didn’t have to be so obvious about it, however when we saw each other we were really passionate with each other, what gives?

Hi Eric,
I met a guy at a club about a month and a half ago. Initially I was not too into him and he knew it. But we kept in contact after we met. Initially he bombarded me with text messages for the first 2 weeks until we caught up again on a date. He made a big impression with the first date. So I met up with him again…we started to kiss and I then felt he wanted to take it further as it was his apartment and we were alone. Offcourse I would have love to have sec as well…since I started to get attracted to him, but I wanted more than sex from him. I wanted to get to know him…so I told him the same, and said I’d like to wait. He agreed. We then kept in contact every day. In fact if I did not text him he’d text me and apologise for not contacting me during the day since he was busy at work…wish I found really very sweet. We’d then text the whole evening…flirting…sending each other photos….telling each other what turned us on etc. But he did not make any effort to take me out to dinner…wanted to always catch up for a drink….was fine with me. Then eventually he made an effort to catch up for lunch on his day off work. It was a working day for me, but since I work for myself, I made an effort to meet him. It was a lovely afternoon we exchanged thoughts of what we are after in each other…and the future. I asked him if he was after just fun or a relationship for the future. He said
” we are all after something for the future” , so I thought good he’s on the same page as myself. We kissed at the restaurant and hugged on the way to my car and kissed again in public.
We then kept in contact as usual. One Friday a couple of weeks now…I text him during the day and said ” what a beautiful day , nice to be at the beach” , his response was “nice to be having sex” . I said with whom ? your dream lover? , he came back say ” with you lol ! ” . I then also felt that I wanted to take the relationship to the next level , so I asked him if he was free Saturday night …I told him I had movie tickets. Anyway to cut the story short he could not make it to the movies with me but told me he’d meet me after if I was out, as he was catching up with his friends (female) for drinks. I was okay with that as they were the same girls he was hanging out with when we met. Anyway come Saturday I was to meet him at the club and then found out that evening that the drinks with his friends were cancelled as they were all very tired. But he caught up with me at the club. I was supposed to go to the club with my friends, so he came along with his female flatmate. I told me about the new flatmate the last time we met for lunch. I was okay with it. But was not aware he was going to show up with her to the club. When I met her I was sort off intimidated as she was pretty and only 28years old Russian. Anyway I put that aside. In the course of conversation with her, she told me that he took her to another club the night before ( I was ok with this too to some extent, as they lived in the city and she was new to the country). My friends wanted to leave the club early so I asked him if I can come sleep at his apartment on the couch. He looked at he and said I would not sleep, I looked at him as said okay but you’d have to take me home by 7.30am as my daughter will be back by 8am. He then sighed and said he likes to sleep in on a Sunday…..and then added that he had to pick up his son as well (the son bit even if true, was not that early ). I was so upset to hear him say he could not do what I asked for taking into consideration it would have been the first time we would have been intimate. I left the club upset. He left me at the door and kissed me and asked me to text him when I get home. But this is when everything started to get ugly for me. I was tipsy, I text him saying to lose my phone number. Then the next day I realised what I had done, and realised that I really liked him, and did not want to lose him. So I text him apologising…twice. In my second text messages apologising I mentioned that if there was nothing between us we can be friends. No response on Sunday. So I called Monday evening…and explained myself again…and said the same thing about being friends …he then asked me why I was stressing out. I said I stress for everything. He said he’d call me the next night, but did not call, so I text him to find out if he was angry, he said no he was turned off with the situation. …hmmm I was upset…with him and myself as well….but I did not say that …I asked him to forgive me the one time and he said there was nothing to forgive, why can’t I leave it and we say friends.
I asked him if he’d come out to dinner with me…he said ” That would be nice” He said most probably Thursday …but said he’d confirm the next day (Wednesday) I waited Wednesday there was no contact from him, so Thursday morning I text him and said I could not make the dinner as something had come up. I also said that I was thinking of us being just friends…. and said he was right that attraction has a use by date….take care.
He came back saying “ ? we can be friends if you like….about tonight…I understand”
Since then he has not contacted me. I thought it its best I back off as I looked needy and desperate….even thought it was partly his fault. Do you think he’d ever contact me again. I am just finding it hard to forget him.
Sorry about the lengthy email.

Hello,

I am a man in a relationship with a woman that I have lied in. We have lived together for 5 years as domestic partners.

1st thing was that I let my car insurance go unpaid and didn’t tell her about it. My thought was that I would just pay the fees and get the insurance back and make sure I don’t let the payments slip again by setting up email notifications. I was called a liar for not telling her about this.

2nd was that I started smoking cigarettes again and was hiding that fact from her, so I am a liar.

3rd was getting a new job in which other girls worked at the same time and she was very jealous and accused me of flirting when I wasn’t. She said I shouldn’t be at the cash register talking to them. I was the cashier and the females were also employees who frequently needed supplies from the office right next to the cash register.

I walked out of the job one night because she was calling me and accusing me of flirting. She told me not to tell anyone what was going on. One night she called my work and the “girl” answered the phone and she freaked out saying “What is she doing answering the phone?” She should be doing her job. I said “She works here, so she has every right to answer the phone…” I told this girl how my girlfriend freaked out over her answering the phone.

I was called a liar for telling that girl what happened when I said I wouldn’t. I just though it was hysterical that my girlfriend is freaking out, because an employee other that me answered the company phone…

4th was that I decided to buy and try “incense.” She noticed I was stoned and called me a liar for not telling her about it. I wanted to just enjoy it by myself without her lecturing me and making me feel like a drug addict.

5th was that I bought a electronic cigarette that I hid from her because she would lecture me and nag me every time I went to use it just like she did when I smoked real cigarettes. I left it in the bathroom one day and she found it and called me a liar for not telling her about it.

She said she didn’t want me vaping in the bathroom because it was harmful to her lungs. I didn’t honor her request and continued to use it in the bathroom because from the research I have done online the vapor is relatively harmless and dissipates rather quickly. Anyways she called me a liar because I said I wouldn’t use it in the bathroom and did. I only said I wouldn’t so she would stop pestering me about it and because I knew that the vapor was harmless and she was being overly dramatic like I was releasing toxic waste into the air she was breathing.

Anyways, she now labels me as a pathological liar who cant be trusted.

A little bit about me. I am 31 years old, got my GED, did 4 years in the AirForce, I play guitar and piano at an advanced level, I am an IT Network Administrator and I like playing MMORPG’s, which she enjoys playing as well. I have never been in jail or even arrested. I have never had a driving ticket.

I feel that I “lie” because I just want to resolve problems that I create on my own. Hiding use of drugs is because she would lecture me and make me feel like a drug addict, just as she has done countless times, even though I am a highly intelligent functioning member of society.

Based on that, would you say I am a pathological liar?

Omg….This is too funny! I just realized I’m replying to comments on this page that are old. Please, update. Thank you

If lying is “easier” in order to avoid hurt feelings, then what was the motivation for doing whatever it was that would cause the hurt feelings to begin with? If they’re trying to “avoid drama”, all they’ve done by lying is set the stage for the biggest drama ever – and it’s one THEY started by setting out to deceive in the first place. If they can’t realize a good outcome it’s only because they’re shallow and stuck in the instant gratification mode, and unable to see down the road a few feet. If they think they need to lie in order to impress – the only real impression they’re making is in how poor their own self image is. If this is the case, they have no right to complain about anyone else.
Bottom line is men and women BOTH lie. Any relationship based on a lie IS a lie. There is no room for dignity after lying takes root.
Men – real men – have no need to lie about anything. Women – real women – don’t cultivate the circumstances that lead to lying. (and vice versa)
A person who lies in order to avoid a confrontation is lying out of: FEAR.
A person who lies because they’re too lazy to talk about the real issue is lying out of: ANGER.
A person who lies because they think they can impress is lying out of: LOW SELF ESTEEM.
Lying is something people do when they have a problem with their own sense of self. It does not EVER have anything to do with anyone else. Lying is never good and anyone who does it – no matter what their justification is – is not worthy of an intimate relationship.
Lying destroys your integrity. It changes a person and makes them repulsive. No ego boost can be sustained by a lie. This article was written because there are people who actually believe there is justification for lying.
There isn’t. And there never will be.

I think this question is too generalized. And the photo is not of a man, it looks like a 15 year old kid being confronted by his mother or older sister LoL. Why does a man lie? Mostly because of dealing with some women that over act over trivial things or are drama queens. Usually these types are insecure and attract “players” or guys that just tell a “girl” (since a real woman wouldn’t put up with this) what she wants to hear and keep the drama going. Here’s a tip: Stop lying to yourself and you’ll find guys you meet will do the same.

They don’t want drama!? Lying is going to cause drama and friction and mistrust.
His “friends” always came first. He threw his daughter away.I’m sick of reading about why men lie and why men cheat and why men do this or that! The EX would return from Anger Management and call our daughter every obscenity you could think of.He’s a pretentious douchebag. I threw the bastard out.Slammed a restraining order on him. And I found out that he’s living with his parents.( He hates his parents). Where are all his “beloved” “friends” now!? Karma is a bitch.I’m grateful that my daughter and myself finally got free from this narcissistic bastard.

I met a guy on tagged, we started talking and found we had many things in common. We are both in the middle of divorces & in our 40’s. After weeks of talking, texting, and skyping; We met, took a walk in the park, around a lake, fed the squirrels. He brought me a gift from a trip he had just returned from. He text me every morning and night until last night, he goes to college and when he text me yesterday morning said he did not get much sleep the night before thinking of me. When I didn’t get a text or call last night I was worried he had an accident due to sleep deprivation, I text no reply, I emailed no reply, I called no answer. He finally text me at 4 this morning saying he fell asleep on a friends couch during a study group. Then I get a text saying his soon to be ex wife said his women need to stop emailing her, said she got one from me and wanted to know how I would feel if he did that to my ex. I was devastated. I called him immediately he answered I told him it was not me and I was hurt he would accuse me of such a thing. I have only been open and honest, and if he wanted to contact my ex he could, I have nothing to hide. He apologized and ask me to forget it, I have developed very strong feelings for him, but don’t know I can forget it. Honesty is so important for me, I have been hurt so much in my life. He has things about himself he is ashamed of like height, and other things, but they do not matter to me, I fell in love for who he is, and his personality, not what he looks like. I am at a loss and scared to invest further emotions until my insecurities are settled.

Me and my girl argue if I tell the true or lie she just don’t believe anything I say when I do lie it b about the littlest thing just to get her and find out how she knows but she lies to she thinks b/c she is so real she don’t lie but you can be the realist but doesnt mean anything sometimes I think she just like to argue

I’ve been dating a guy I met online for about 6-8 weeks. We live in different cities so we’ve only had 3 dates although each lasted about 8 hrs (spent all day together).

The 3rd was on Sunday (27th May). We had a really nice date. Spent most of the day in the park. He was more affectionate (kissing me constantly, holding my hand, hugging me, stroking my hair) than he’s ever been. The only issue was that he said from the 2nd date he wanted to sleep with me. On Sunday at his he asked when I was next up (I’m seeing friends in London this weekend) and that I could stay (for obvious reasons). I said I’d prefer to be exclusive with someone before sleeping with them. He felt that he needs to sleep with someone before becoming exclusive to see if there’s a connection. I said that I wasn’t prepared to be one of many girls he’s sleeping with but he said he would never sleep with more than one at once and would always be honest with me so would say if he met someone else. He could tell I was unsure so hugged me and said there was no rush/pressure and not to worry. He said this several times unprovoked. When he dropped me at the station he repeated it but said I should still visit so to let him know.

I let him know I was home safe and had a fun time. He replied saying he’d also had a nice time and commented on the length of the journey apologising. I said it wasn’t his fault just my lack of checking that transport was running normally and that I should hurry-up and move there (before we met the 1st time I’d said I was looking to move to London).

Thursday I text him in the day asking if he was about that evening to discuss plans and if he was still free. No answer. I thought he must be busy so I rang that night anyway. He didn’t pick up. Obviously I was crushed as he said he’d be honest. I thought about it all yesterday (31st May) so last night messaged him on the dating site saying I wasn’t sure if he got the text/call but I was free tomorrow (Sunday) and would stay (saying I wanted to spend time with him and not worry about catching trains). I know it was probably needy but I thought maybe he’d lost his phone. I still haven’t heard back. Please help. I don’t know what happened in those 3 days to make him change his mind.

“To call up one common scenario, think of a time where a close female friend has noticeably put on weight. She asks you in a heartbroken tone, “Do you think I look fat?” No girl (except a complete “B”) is going to say, “Yes, you look enormous.” The response she will most likely receive is, “No, you look great!” or something similarly placating.”

I don’t agree with teh above, that only a complete B will tell her female friend the truth, if I am a real friend I want my friend to be the best she can and I am the only one who can honestly say that she has to watch the weight…and I honestly would

After 3 very hard years, I figured out why my man lies to me. He does not always do the right thing. Sometimes his temper gets the better of him and he does things or says things that makes him what he calls a dick. So here it is.

He loves me very much and never wants to see me disappointed in him. He is my hero and wants to stay that way. So he lies to me or he refuses to answer a question.

I taught him to do this because of my reaction to what I thought was deception. In truth, it was my lack of understanding and expectations.

I expected him to be what he said he was. I believed him, but it was not the truth, it was how he wanted to be not how he was.

today, I have no expectations, I love the man he is offering me. I am secure in his love. It is not what I want it to be yet but I have faith that he will be all that be wants to be.