… (Previous page – Ask a Guy: Why Is He With Me?) what the guy is thinking and so they assume the worst – they assume he doesn’t want them they assume he wants another woman, they assume he has bad intentions, and on and on.
The reality is, most of the time the fear-based assumptions are flat-out wrong. Unfortunately, though, those fear-based assumptions come with a terrible cost: They kill your mood and your spirit and they cause you to close up emotionally.
This dampening of your mood takes its toll on your relationship. Women fall into making negative assumptions because of fear and a desire to protect themselves, but ironically the negative assumptions more often cause the problem you were afraid of than protect you from an actual problem.
The solution here is instead to assume the best. Assume he thinks you’re hot. Assume he’s crazy about you. Assume he really deeply enjoys you. Assume you are enough for him. Assume he loves you as you are. As I mentioned before, since assumptions more often cause the situation to come about than they prevent, it’s in your best interest to…
Assume positive things.
Owning yourself means that instead of feeling like you need to make up for your flaws, you carry them with pride and dignity. You don’t try to hide them or make them or apologize for them. You hold your head high and carry yourself with an air that says, “Yes, I’m hot, attractive and desirable. Yes, you want me. And if you don’t agree, you don’t exist.”
A huge part of being attractive comes from holding yourself like you are – I’ve seen beautiful girls imprison themselves into thinking they’re unattractive simply because they believe they are (and as a result, they create an awkward and unattractive appearance when they would otherwise be gorgeous.)
Own yourself. Own your looks. Own your personality, your quirks, your interests, your intelligence, your values. If it’s you, own it.
MORE: On Loving Yourself and Being More Confident
Finally, the last area where women will ask me, “Why is he with me?” stems from questions around his feelings for her…
“Does he really love me?”
“Does he just want me for sex?”
“Is there a future here?”
When you get down to it, you want to know if he has genuine feelings of love for you or if he’s just around for some superficial reason (sex, your looks, he’s bored, you’re a “placeholder relationship”, etc.)
I could go into it here, but if you’re asking “Why is he with me?” because you want to know if he really loves you, then you want to read this article right now: How Do You Find Love?
Hope it helps,
eric charles
Written by Eric Charles
