Happy Birthday?

How long have you been seeing each other?

The most you should do is a quick text “happy birthday, hope you’re having great day” but you should cancel the plans and return the gift or do something else with it. This is probably a break-up. Back way off and let him come to you. Sorry, sucks to hear that.

He knew that and he asked for space? Yeah, it’s a break-up. Leave him alone entirely. That’s a lame way to treat someone who was being thoughtful of you – I wouldn’t want him back.

I had a guy I had only been seeing for a month offer to take me to dinner for my birthday. He canceled that day at lunch time with a weak excuse, so I figured he was history and made other plans. Two months later he contacted me and acted like nothing happened!! So, most likely he met someone else and it didn’t work out. I just blocked him. It’s amazing what some men will do. I hope you won’t take him back or if you do you make him work for it.

i have a feeling he met someone else, that is why he wanted a ‘break’ to see if it works out with another woman, it happened to me before.
forget about his bday , not worth it

Dont wish him.. and return the gifts. Move on

He blocked you?? No, that means you absolutely don’t contact him!! Return the gifts, and get as much of your money back as possible. If this was all out of the blue, then he’s a TERRIBLE communicator and not treating you with respect. This sounds like a ridiculous way to go about ending things after 16 months.

I have an ex who broke up with me right before his birthday also. The timing was because he wanted to go to a debaucherous party, and he wanted to enjoy his birthday to the fullest, which he didn’t feel he could do with me there because I don’t binge drink (and let’s be real, he probably wanted to be single there). Bigger picture, the relationship wasn’t working for him overall but I didn’t know that because he hated conflict and pretended everything was great for several months until the breakup. The party finally made me feel like enough of an inconvenience to him for him to take action and tell me it was over. Plus he didn’t want to feel “guilty” that I’d gotten him thoughtful gifts while he knew he silently wanted to end things.

Anyone acting this way beyond their early 20s isn’t able to be a good partner in a mature relationship… like Liz said, a guy who is serious wouldn’t do this.

So I see all these crappy things people are saying about this guy but my main question is this:

Why do you think it’s okay to ignore another person’s boundaries?

He asked you to give him space then he blocked you. He does not want a happy birthday gesture from you, leave him alone. How many times have you really contacted him after his request? The only thing in your control right now is your own behavior. Let him go.

Thank you, I know I can’t believe he has done this but I think I know why, I told him I wanted more, he said he did too but I guess he has changed his mind which is upsetting.
I haven’t contacted him at all, I just assumed that I could ring him and leave a message but I’m not going to, he has hurt me so I shouldn’t be reaching out to him.
If I’m honest, it’s a bit odd and out of character for him to behave this way but I guess if you freak a guy out, which I must have done, this is what happens.

I haven’t contacted him at all, I just assumed that I could ring him and leave a message but I’m not going to, he has hurt me so I shouldn’t be reaching out to him.
If I’m honest, it’s a bit odd and out of character for him to behave this way but I guess if you freak a guy out, which I must have done, this is what happens.

I think your still not understanding what happened. Or what posters are telling you. Its not about you not reaching out because he hurt you!! Its about you not reaching you because he told you he wants space and to ensure that he went further and blocked you!
This is about you not reaching out because the man has asked you not to and drawn a boundary line. This is about you not reaching out because you want to respect his wishes. This is about you not reaching out because you have enough self respect to stay away when a man makes it clear he doesnt want to be in touch with you.

Hope you understand!

Also instead of blaming yourself and thinking you freaked him out, which is why he broke off n blocked you, you need to stop making excuses for him and blaming yourself. Thing is you voiced what you wanted from him or relatnship. But he didnt. So he broke off and blocked you so that this chapter is closed..

Respect his wishes and the boundary laid down by him. But more than that respect yourslf enough to walk away from men who dont want you in their lives anymore.

well these things are never easy. but you have to see whats in front of you. the guy doesn’t want to be with you anymore. so much so he blocked you! that’s your cue to say f***k it and try and put him behind you. you dont need him!

Don’t blame yourself for freaking him out. It’s perfectly reasonable to want to want more after 16 months of dating. OK, so you two didn’t want the same things, but I think it’s massively disrespectful of him to simply cut you off and block you, rather than break up with you properly. Or at least say to you something like– after thinking about it, I don’t think we want the same things, could I take some time to think, could we take a break?

I understand it’s a shock and hard to navigate when it seems so sudden. I hope you have friends and family you can lean on.

Yes, exactly to Liz, Tammy, Raven, etc. You can be both respectful of his boundaries and see the bigger picture, which is that you deserve better. It is disappointing but okay for him not to want the same things as you. But it is immature to tell you after 16 months that he wants a break without further explanation and then block you even though haven’t reached out! I still think he’s a bad communicator. Take some time to mourn the situation, and don’t put all the blame on yourself. It is good you spoke up for yourself about wanting more, and learned this about him even though it wasn’t what you hoped for. It hurts but is always better to find these things out sooner than later, so that you can choose not to waste time on someone who doesn’t want what you do.