I’ve been in an open relationship for the past two years and lately my boyfriend seems to have lost interest in sex. He is always saying he is too tired or busy. I try to be patient and understanding because we both have stressful jobs, but it has been two months. Whenever I bring up the topic he accuses me of only wanting sex as if that is the only thing that would make me happy. He still tells me he loves me and we still hang out, but I always feel miserable in the end. I don’t know what to do anymore, why isn’t he sexually attracted to me like he used to be and how do I fix it?

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The first time I had “the talk” turned into more of a ridiculous display of exactly what not to do. I was in college and had been seeing this guy for a little over a month and had never felt so strongly for someone else, ever. We spent a ton of time together and I figured we were heading toward being “official” but it wasn’t a pressing matter on my mind, it just lingered in the depths.

That all changed one night when I introduced him to my friends for the first time. The night started out great, we had some drinks and went to a bar with some of his friends. But it all took a turn when me and my friends went to the bathroom to fix our faces and they started getting in my ear about how strange it was that he and I weren’t official yet, and what a bad sign that was. In addition to a fresh coat of powder and gloss, I left the bathroom with a giant chip on my shoulder.

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I met this guy through some friends and started liking him. He liked the girl that introduced us and she also liked him. One night we were hanging out and  he and I almost hooked up. He told her so they are no longer friends due to her lack of trust in him, but now several months later he and I have been getting together almost every night. I finally told him that I like him and wanted it to be more and his response was reasonably better than I hoped for and he said he “kinda likes” me. I told him that I didn’t want to be just a “booty call” and he said he’s not like that, but he won’t make it more.

Now he won’t talk to me– no calls, texts, facebook messages, or emails.  How do I get him to make it more than just “friends-with-benefits” or even go back to being just friends?

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Relationships are really quite simple when you understand the core dynamics at play. When you don’t, however, you can drive yourself half insane trying to figure it all out.

The beginning of a relationship is often the most confusing time, a time when everything seems precarious and you don’t quite know where you stand or where, if anywhere, the relationship is going.

Men and women are different and as such, the way we experience and process relationships are different. Men tend to be much more in the moment, if the relationship is enjoyable in the here and now, they’re happy. If it’s unpleasant, they either distance themselves or leave.

Women, on the other hand, tend to get stuck in the details, the nuances, the “clues” both real and perceived. In the midst of this quest to figure out what’s going on and where he stands, they often lose sight of what’s important (the actual relationship, and how it is in the here and now).

No one intentionally seeks to sabotage their relationship (at least, not if you really like the guy). Conversely, women usually go in with the best intentions and can be blindsided should the relationship crumble before it really gets going.

Here are five things you might unknowingly be doing that can ruin your relationship:
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Nothing drives me more crazy than listening to women complain about their bodies.  Like seriously, I have a visceral reaction whenever I hear phrases like “My thighs are too fat.” “I’m only eating celery this week because I have a big date.” Not only do you sound ridiculous when you speak like this, but what exactly are you expecting from your friends when you speak like this?

I was always that pudgy wannabe athletic kid.  Although I played outside frequently and, in middle/high school played two seasons of sports,  I was always a little pudgy because I loved food.

Later on during my first job, with the help of sales reps who wanted me to buy stuff off of them, I developed a penchant for wine, fine dining, and drinking into the wee hours several times a week. Before I knew it my 5’6 frame was carrying close to 200 pounds.  In the years that followed, like many women, I developed a hatred for my body: punishing it with extreme diets, juice fasts, over training, over eating, and self-loathing whenever I looked at myself in the mirror.

Over the last ten years I’ve been down to my lowest of 145 pounds because of the Master Cleanse: living off of lemon water and giving myself reverse enemas with salt water twice daily, to tipping the scale at nearly 200 because of foie gras at lunch, beer during happy hour, and the comfort of General Tso after a hard day of drinking, when my activity level was that of a sloth.

And in each of those times of extreme thinness or fatness I always found something wrong with my body.

I no longer live like that.  In my 30+ years on the planet, I’ve found ways that make me love my body. Here they are:

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There’s nothing easy about losing weight. Even finding answers to your questions can seem like an impossible challenge, especially with so much conflicting information out there. That’s why I’m providing solutions to your most common weight loss questions.

From what to eat to how much to exercise to how to stay motivated and resist temptation, keep reading for simple solutions that will have you bikini-ready by summer!

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Happy Valentine’s Day! I know this day can be a sore subject for some ladies, namely those getting over a guy or those who feel a bit lonely. There really is no need to bash all the happy couples out there. Instead, use this day to appreciate the love you have in your life, there has to be some.

As you may know, I’m an avid quote collector. In honor of this lovely day to celebrate love, here are my favorite quotes on matters of the heart.

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I have known this guy for two years now. We started off as friends, had a bit of a romance, then broke up and we are now starting to be friends again.

I feel like I was always the one who was more invested in the relationship. He is very guarded and emotionally unavailable and has past issues that he doesn’t want to confront. So my question is, how do I support him with that kind of a baggage as a friend now? How can I make him understand that even though we are starting fresh, we still have a past and some things could come back to us in the future unless we solve them now? And how can I maintain my confidence and self-respect now and not get emotionally swept away again, like I did before?

We have come far and I never thought it would be possible to try and be friends again after a romantic history, but I also want to avoid making the same mistakes I did before. What should I do?

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Here’s a scenario that might sound familiar. You’re seeing a guy for a little while, it could be weeks or maybe months. You text a lot, hang out, have fun, things seems to be moving along swimmingly and a relationship seems like it’s just around the corner.

Then poof … he’s gone. He disappeared and ]has vanished without a trace.

He might do the slow fade out, meaning he stops initiating contact and when you reach out to him he takes hours or days to reply. This goes on for a while until you take the unfortunate hint. Or he “ghosts” and just disappears. He doesn’t reach out and he doesn’t reply when you contact him. [continue reading…]

I was dating this guy for a few months and things were great. He was fresh out of a relationship when we met and told me off the bat he wasn’t looking for anything serious. After three months, I got sick of this arrangement and called things off. A few days later, I asked if he wanted to hang out as friends. We had an amazing time and he ended up apologizing and asking to date me again.

Things were even better this time around. He opened up even more and talked to me about his issues and insecurities. Then he ended it again saying things were only going to get more serious and he couldn’t handle it.  After that we would hook up here and there but I wasn’t comfortable with the situation and said we should stop being friends with benefits and just be friends.

We still hang out here and there and text periodically. Every time we see each other we have an amazing time and I feel like we really connect. The problem is he tries to hook up with me when we hang out and I don’t want to do that unless we’re back together.

I was hoping that by staying friends he would be reminded of how well we click and was hoping he’d get over his issues. This plan doesn’t seem to be working, though. Part of me feels like he senses on some level that we’d be great together, but I also feel like if he was going to come back he would have done it by now. Will he ever come back and commit or am I wasting my time?

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What do men want in a woman? It may seem like a loaded question, but really the answer is quite simple.

While every guy has his own preferences when it comes to the physical–some like blondes, some like brunettes; some like petite, some like curvy–there are several fundamental qualities that all men crave in a woman.

The media might lead you to believe that getting a man is all about the physical: what you wear, how you do your makeup, the right push-up bra, the right scent. These things will certainly help you attract a man, but will do little to keep him interested and invested.

This is what it takes to be a man’s ultimate dream girl:

Tis the season for making resolutions to be our best selves. Committing to the gym, not smoking, eating healthier, all that fun stuff.

A new year is the perfect time to try and start anew. For most this means breaking through barriers within ourselves that may be preventing its from getting what we want. And what most women want is a loving, healthy relationship (men do too for the most part, but not quite at the same level.)

Here are five tips to make 2016 the year you get the love you’ve always wanted: [continue reading…]

It’s time to STOP making the same impossible promises year after year and start accomplishing your goals. This article explains how to avoid these three stereotypical resolutions and provides alternatives for achieving success in 2014.

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How do you find the perfect romantic gift for your man? Just ask him.

This year, we did the next best thing. We partnered with TiVo and enlisted our most trusted guy friends & bloggers to share what’s on their holiday wish lists. Here are 6 gift recommendations that will have him fa-la-la-la-falling for you hard.

Read the rest over at Your Tango- The 6 Best Gifts for Men…According to Actual Men

More from Your Tango:

10 Romantic Gifts For Him (That Aren’t Cheesy)

7 Sex Positions Men Love

Is This Favorite Pastime Ruining Your Relationship?

I’ve been writing about relationships for several years now. A funny thing I’ve noticed when I tell people what I do for a living is that they automatically assume I was always just good with relationships. Ha! I was as clueless as they come not so long ago. Every misstep, every faux pas, every tactic guaranteed to drive a man away, I did it…and was left baffled about where I went wrong. You see, getting the guy was never the problem…keeping him was.

I’m not one to get caught up in regrets and what ifs. And in retrospect, I’m glad I made those mistakes and went through that kind of pain because had I not, I wouldn’t be able to write about relationships the way I do and I never would have felt any sort of motivation to start this website.

Of course, sometimes I wonder how certain situations would have unfolded had I learned certain lessons a bit sooner. Since I can’t go back and undo what’s been done, I’m going to share the relationship lessons I wish I’d known sooner to spare you from going down my beaten path.

Here they are:

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As a pharmacy student, the past six years of my life have been dedicated to learning about prescriptions and over the counter medications. Today, we are constantly exposed to drug advertisements, groundbreaking new treatments, and friends claiming a supplement changed their lives. The article below shares important information about the risks and benefits of using medications and supplements to improve your health. [continue reading…]

Adopting a healthy lifestyle can be very difficult in this day and age with so many conflicting theories floating around out there. One day something is amazing for you, the next it’s horrible and should be avoided at all costs. One day it’s a miracle weight-loss cure, the next it’s the leading cause of obesity. How is one to navigate through such madness?!

There are endless food myths out there to keep you nice and confused. To help alleviate the problem, nutritionist Nicolette Pace identified the top three food myths and uncovers fact from fiction. [continue reading…]

What do rejection and taxes have in common? They are both inevitable parts of life that everyone has to deal with. It doesn’t matter how beautiful, smart, funny, charming, or awesome you are, there will be times when you meet people who just don’t see it.

If I could write a note to my younger self it would be: “Don’t take it all so personally. You’re wonderful, and if someone else doesn’t see it, let that be their problem, not yours.” Unfortunately, my younger self didn’t get the memo and any type of rejection (especially from the opposite sex) would wreak havoc on my self-esteem. And those kinds of wounds can take a lifetime to heal and will inevitably carry over into your next relationship. If you end up in a place where you fear rejection, you’ll start to anticipate it and then you’ll be more likely to be rejected, thus confirming your initial prediction and affirming your belief that anyone you like won’t like you, which may pave the way for more rejection and on and on the vicious cycle goes.

MORE: Signs He Doesn’t Like You

It took me a really long time to learn to deal with rejection, and it’s something that I still need to work on to this day even though I’m a relationship writer and am supposed to have some degree of expertise in this area.

The upside is that my experience and past pains have helped me develop certain skills and insights to deal with rejection while keeping my sense of self intact. And here they are…
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I really like this guy who I met through mutual friends. Since we’re in similar social circles, we see each other kind of often. I feel like I’ve been a bit stand-offish with him because I get nervous around him and I’m afraid he’s gonna think it means I’m not interested.

I just want to know how to show him enough interest so he asks me out, but not so much that it’s obvious because I know that’s a turn-off. Any advice??

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There is a lot of information out these about how to properly “seduce” a guy and most of it brings a huge risk of embarrassment for you because it’s just plain wrong. Seduction is similar to most things in life. When you try too hard, you look awkward and desperate and it creates a vibe that’s anything but sexy. When you understand what it actually takes to seduce a man and incorporate this knowledge into your normal way of being, you naturally and effortlessly seduce people through your mindset alone. When you combine this with the right moves, then you’ll become an unstoppable force.

Properly seducing a man starts with first understanding yourself and knowing what your most seductive traits are. Then it’s about bringing out those qualities even further. We’ve made it even easier for you by creating this quiz which will help you discover how seductive you truly are. You might find that you are way better at seducing than you thought. Or maybe you discover that there is room for improvement. Either way, this quiz is a valuable tool to help you tap into your powers of seduction.

Take the quiz now and discover how seductive you are!

Note: In order to receive your quiz results, we collect your email at the end of the quiz. Just wanted to give you a heads up so you know what to expect. :)

You guys talk a lot about being the prize and while I agree with the idea, I find it really difficult when it comes to guys I really like. I’m not much into rules and seriously hate any type of action that is not authentically me. But exactly HOW do you remain the prize when the fear takes hold?

And to be the prize, does he have to feel like he’s in competition with other men? Everyone says men love the chase, is this true? If so, how can I get him to chase me without being obvious?

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Are you tired of working out and not seeing any results? Stop spending countless hours at the gym and start focusing on your diet! Unfortunately, all the workouts in the world will not get you a flat stomach if you continue to shove garbage down your throat.

To help you reach your weight-loss goals, I’m sharing my five favorite healthy, easy to make recipes for every time of the day. And did I mention they are all delicious? [continue reading…]

A few days back, I was at Aroma Cafe waiting for my large coffee to appear when I overheard one woman lamenting to her friend…
At one point she said, “I mean, how could he say that?  He’s supposed to love me unconditionally.”

OK, full stop.

First off, whenever I hear that someone is supposed to do anything in a relationship, an alarm goes off in my head.  The phrase “supposed to” is basically the same as saying the word “should”: it’s a poisonous word for relationships.

It has a tone of blaming, shaming and coercing the other person to do what you want them to do… or else.

More importantly, when I heard her say that he’s supposed to “love her unconditionally,” I thought to myself, “Wait… do women seriously think that?” [continue reading…]

 If you’re like me, you love a fun night out with friends or a spontaneous weekend getaway. However, these activities can have a detrimental effect on your healthy lifestyle and leave you feeling guilty about your excessive splurges.

Read on for five ways your social life can be packing on the pounds and solutions to help you stay fit without sacrificing the fun.

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Many moons ago I fell very hard for a man who was very wrong for me. I was infatuated with him immediately and the symphony of warning bells was drowned out by an inundation of emotions I had never felt before.

Deep down, I knew something was off. I knew I couldn’t trust him and I knew the relationship would end in disaster. I didn’t want to admit it though, and planted my feet firmly in denial-ville. I never felt that way about anyone before and the prospect of him not being on the same page was too painful a pill to swallow….so I didn’t.

In time, my instincts gave me a big “I told you so.” Everything I suspected turned out to be true and the most painful breakup probably in the history of the world (or at least, in the history of my life) followed.

Looking back, it’s frustrating to think how much time, energy, and hurt I would have spared myself had I listened to my instincts. And it’s not just me. [continue reading…]

They say experience is the greatest teacher and if my dating experience has taught me anything, it’s that there are certain types of guys who always spell trouble.

Eric and I get flooded with questions from readers asking: “Is he serious about me?” Will he ever commit to me?” “He says he cares but he’s not acting like it.” This game of he loves me, he loves me not is exhausting and can ravage your self-esteem.

Think about how much time, energy, and heartache you would save if you could determine if he’s the kind of guy who will commit right off the bat.

The first step in having an amazing, healthy relationship is to choose wisely. To do that, you need to know what red flags to watch out for so you can extricate yourself from a bad situation before you get in too deep and wind up brokenhearted.

And with that, I bring you the five types of guys to avoid dating, and tips on what to do if you’re already dating one of the types. [continue reading…]

The one thing I’ve noticed over the years as a relationship writer is that most women have no idea how they’re coming across to men. They may do things in an attempt to win his affection and then are left completely baffled when their efforts produce the opposite result.

My main source of information for the articles I write is men themselves. Over the years, I’ve noticed a few recurring themes when it comes to things women do that completely turn guys off.

Here are the top ten ways to repel a guy:

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It’s official; Americans have managed to turn even the healthiest, purest meals into weapons of diet destruction! The salad, a beautiful bed of lettuce, vegetables, and lean protein has been transformed into the nutritional equivalent of a green cheeseburger, without the same satisfaction. Stop being fooled by salads hiding hundreds of unwanted calories!

By following the tips below, you’ll be armed with the knowledge needed to avoid caloric bombs in any situation.

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I’m in my late twenties and have never been in a long term relationship. I’ve dated plenty of guys and have had a few boyfriends but all those relationship last maybe three months max. I don’t know if it’s me or if I’m just picking the wrong guys.

I’m at a point in my life where I really feel ready to settle down. I’m just afraid that I’m never going to find a guy who will truly commit to me. What do you think it takes to have a successful relationship that really lasts?

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