Ok, I am confused…I thought guys were totally into the text versus actually talking on the phone. But there is one guy who I am interested in who seems to not fit that mold. Help! He takes hours to answer a text message when we all KNOW that our phones are glued to our face. I don’t understand…we will be texting back and forth for a few, then nothing…air silence! I told him it bothers me but he keeps doing it!

What is the deal? I am so OVER the four hour response time…especially when we don’t talk over any other media.

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I’ve been talking to a guy for a little over a month but we have not officially met up (I actually met him about 5 years ago through a friend but we were seeing other people at the time).  We have talked about getting together, but have yet to actually set a date.

Our main form of communication is via text message, and we’re skirting on the border of friends and more than friends. About 2 weeks ago, I straight up asked the guy I’ve been talking to/flirting with if he just wanted to sleep with me. I’ve noticed that any time I’m very direct, his answers are kind of vague.

I’m guessing he is unsure of what he wants but I’m just wondering if being direct is a bad thing? Don’t men usually think women are overly complicated?

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I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I love him so much. I think our relationship is really great and he is everything that I could ever ask for. We have almost everything in common and I know he loves me too.

I’ve always known that he’s not the romantic type but in the beginning of the relationship, he always used to say sweet things at unexpected times to give me butterflies, he used to take me out to romantic dinners, etc.

I feel like he’s just not putting as much of an effort anymore into being romantic. I feel like he’s so comfortable with me (which I obviously like), but once in a while it would be nice to feel like he still is trying to reel me in.

 I’ve tried everything to keep our relationship exciting.  Do you think he’s getting bored?

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I was in what I thought was a serious relationship for a year and half with my best friend. He developed a crush on me and after me rejecting him for 6 months we finally started dating. I fell in love fast and hard and he seemed to feel the same way.

However, he cheated on me recently and I’m confused as to why. He apologized and said he loves me no matter what but I’m not sure if I should take him back or if he really means it. He has stopped calling But we have gone on breaks before.

Do u think he really loves me? If so what do u think I should do?

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My relationship started out mushy and sweet with tons of texting, but recently slowed way down. I hate to admit it but I did let myself seem a little needy, unintentionally of course. He straight out told me “I don’t know what I want right now.. I just got out of something that was messy.. all I did was work and see her.. but I wasn’t lying about how I feel about you…”

I was a little confused so I played it cool and told him to just relax and not to put pressure on what we are. It’s best if we just go with the flow and see what happens. Two days later he texted me, just seeing what was up, and we had a short, simple, normal conversation.

So my question is, did I save face after being needy by playing it cool? And if so, is it the right move to not contact him…?

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and eight months.  I knew he never wanted to get married but assumed we would eventually live together.

He now tells me that he doesn’t want to live together. He likes living alone.

I am so heartbroken. It feels like I don’t have a future together. He seems to put himself and friends first before me. He tells me he loves me always and forever. I am confused. Do I stay with the man I love more than anything in this world?  What do I do if my boyfriend doesn’t want to move-in together?

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I have a terrible suspicion that my boyfriend is cheating on me. We’ve been together for a year and a half now and up until recently I’ve never worried.  However, over the past two months he’s gone on three business trips for a week at a time.  And over the past two weeks, he’s been texting with some girl and we’ve been having much less sex than we used to. His excuse has been that he’s just “too tired” for sex.

This is really worrying me and I want to know how to tell if my boyfriend is cheating on me or signs that my boyfriend is cheating (or about to cheat).  I need to know what’s happening and what to do now.

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I am married and have been having an affair with a married man for over a month now. We get together about once every week or two, and every visit consists of sex. I told him I want to do something else but he never really acknowledged me. I enjoy the sex, he makes sure I enjoy myself and pleasures first every time, but its hard to figure out if I am a booty call or not.

He texts and calls me in-between visits and we have good conversations. How do I convince him I’m worth more than sex? And should I confront him on my feelings?

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I’ve been dating this guy for 8 months, the first 4 were great.  When things started to go bad between us, he claimed he needed space because there were situations/demons he was fighting, and it wasn’t fair to drag me in. However, we kept spending time together, texting, etc., just not as frequently.

He constantly tells me he is difficult, crazy and/or complicated. He says we want different things (I want to get married and have kids one day, he doesn’t want to do that again), and when he says that, I calmly tell him that I will walk away. But then he freaks out and says he can’t lose me, he doesn’t want anyone else to have me, why can’t we take our relationship one day at a time (he’s the one who constantly looks into the future, not me), I’m giving up on him, etc. He says I can see other people, but then tells me he doesn’t want me to. He is a total contradiction.

I do love him, and I would like it to work, but is he playing me? And is he crazy enough that I should run screaming, or is this something I can salvage if I’M crazy enough to try?
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The more distant I act, the more he’s interested!  I want to be more “coupley” with him, but the more I do that the more he backs off, and the more I back off the more he comes to me.

How do I gradually get closer and more “coupley” without scaring him off?

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I’ve been friends with this guy for nearly two years now and I’ve been completely hung up on him for about eleven months. For the majority of that time he was in a relationship that had been going on for a while, but about three months ago he ended it. A while later, we had a talk about our feelings for each other and he said that he wanted a relationship with me but that he needed a little time to get over what was quite a messy break-up (especially since his ex spread a few not-so-nice rumors about me and him following it).

After the talk we got a lot closer and it felt like we were really going somewhere. However, that all changed when we went on holiday with a group of friends recently and it felt like he started to pull away big time. He acted extremely distant towards me for the whole week and he’s been very flirty with a friend of mine who is actually in a relationship and trying to help me get to the bottom of all this.  Everyone on the trip expected something to happen between us whilst away and I don’t know if this freaked him out or something, but since then we haven’t been the same together. And now he’s saying that he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone until the next Uni year, which isn’t until September. He’s also said that I’m free to do as I wish with any other guys since he doesn’t think it’s fair for me to have to ‘stick to any rules’.

The problem I’m having is understanding where he’s coming from. Is he relationship-shy because of his messy break-up? Did things get too real for him on the trip? Or, are all of these excuses his way of telling me that, when it comes down to it, he doesn’t actually want to be in a relationship with me? [continue reading…]

The following is a scenario that will sound familiar to more than a few of you. You’re at a bar, you make eye contact with a cute guy, he has that undeniable ‘I think you’re really hot’ look in his eye, but he doesn’t come over and talk to you. You catch his gaze a few more times throughout the night, but still nada.

There are dozens of reasons why he may not approach but for the most part, it’s probably due to the signals you’re giving out and those signals are probably saying “not interested.” I Personally tend to get a little shy when it comes to guys I’m instantly attracted to and will look away, thinking I’m being cute and coy. In reality, I’m just being confusing.

I can’t imagine it’s easy for guys to muster the strength to go talk to girls. While I’m all for taking the initiative, it’s pretty universally understood that if a guy is interested, he’ll make a move. However, there are a lot of factors that might derail this first move and most of them have nothing to do with the way you look.

Did you ever notice that when you and your girl friends go out looking for guys, everyone usually end up empty handed whereas when you go out casually just to have fun, guys start flocking from every which way? When it comes to being more approachable, factors such as you’re attitude, stance, the company you keep, your expression, your energy and so on can’t be overlooked.

To end the confusion, I asked Eric, our beloved Ask a Guy, to break it down and explain what it is that makes a girl both approachable and attractive to guys.

And without further adieu, here it is:

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I dated a guy for seven months, on and off, never official although we both claimed to be monogamous.  He kept saying he needed to get his life sorted out and would only be around when he needed me.

Eventually I gave up and dumped him which blew up into a huge fight where I said plenty that I regret now.  I found out he was dating another girl while we were “together” (he lied). A month later now, he sends me text messages like “I wish you weren’t crazy :(“.  I made a mistake.  I want him back.

But why is he sending me these messages if he seriously thinks I am crazy, when HE is the one who CHEATED and LIED?  Does he just want me to beg?

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I have been dating this one guy for about two years now, off and on. When we first started dating, he chased after me and took me out to expensive dinners and such. In the beginning, I told him that I didn’t want a relationship and after that its all been downhill.

We do date other people but for some reason we always come back to each other and date off and on. He doesn’t call unless I call him first and then he starts the conversion about us hanging out and making plans. I haven’t talked about a relationship with him for a couple years now but I’m sick and tired of this off and on thing. We don’t break up or anything we just loose touch and then reconnect somehow.

His friends have made comments to my friends like “they are probably gonna end up together.” Does that seem like that he talks about me to his friends? What can I do to take this to another level? Should I just outright talk to the guy? I don’t want to scare him off. And if he says that he doesn’t know how he feels or ‘lets see where this goes,’ does that mean he isn’t interested? After two years a guy should know.. right?

Overall does it seem that the guy is interested in me?  Do you think it’s wrong to tell him that either something happens with us or that’s it and we need to go our separate ways?  I feel bad because I feel that I’m giving him an ultimatum.

Oh by the way, we haven’t slept together, so its not a booty call, I think!

See our guy’s response after the jump!

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I went on my second date with this guy who happens to be a co-worker.  Up until that point everything was great: fun conversation, chatting of texts, etc.

On our second date I had nothing to eat that day and we went out for drinks.  Long story short, I ended up getting extremely drunk out of the blue, got sick and he ended up having to baby-sit me at his place that night. That morning he poked some fun at me, but was very sweet.  I texted him to apologize, but he hasn’t responded yet (it’s been a few hours).

Everything leading up to now has been so good and would indicate he’s into me (holding hands, gazing into my eyes, etc.)  Please tell me what I should do next and if I may have lost my chance with him.  And if I screwed it up, how do I redeem myself?

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My ex and I had a perfect nine months: no fights, some arguments of course, but everything was great.

I was always worried a little about this ex girlfriend. She left him for another guy and he never got over it… or over her I guess.

When she became available again, he left me for her!  I don’t understand what happened … I just know I want him back.  What should I do?

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When I write an Ask a Guy, Sabrina and I will usually discuss the content before it goes live.

Recently the subject of guys and breakups came up and Sabrina and I went back and forth about what guys generally go through when they breakup. It came down to be too much to put into the article I was writing, so we decided that I should throw it all into an installment of “Decoding Male Behavior.”

To start, I wanted to write this article to dispel some of the misconceptions I’ve heard in regards to men and breakups.

I’ve heard things like: “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her. When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or, “He’s just hooking up with so-and-so to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.

To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface.

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My boyfriend and I love each other, but he and I have been having more and more fights.

How do I break the cycle?

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I had a boyfriend for just over a year, we split up about three months ago because of all the arguing and stress. He is quite ignorant and I’m used to having arguments with him and not speaking for days. As per usual I’d be the one to text first and cave in.

Lately we have been meeting up and occasionally sleeping together, it’s really good and we classed ourselves as seeing each other. But now I find myself feeling ignored, I’d normally expect a text a day or so but I’ve received nothing.

I always text him first so today I didn’t bother, and he didn’t bother texting me? Am I overreacting or does he just want the chase or a relationship?

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There is this guy who I see often but have never actually spoken to. The only contact has really been him indirectly talking to me. One time he told someone that I was a “good kid”, when I was standing right next to him.

He also stares at me sometimes and then doesn’t look away when I catch his glace. There are other things along those lines as well.

Does he like me or am I overreacting?

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There’s this guy I really like and at first things were great. We texted constantly for about five days but then he suddenly stopped. I left him alone because I didn’t want to come across as annoying or something.

After that it seemed like I always had to initiate the conversations to get a response. It really seemed like he cared so why would he go from talking to me all the time to not talking at all?

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I have made it very obvious to my significant other how much I love it when he texts or does “little things” for me.  even though he rarely does it, I’ve let him know that just a simple email or text can make my day.

He says that all he wants to do is make me happy, so I don’t understand why he doesn’t even make the effort to do the things he knows I like! When I know he likes something, I do it. I want to tell him this bothers me, but I don’t want him to do it just because I “asked him to,” basically ruining it.

Plus, I feel like he should WANT to do things that make me happy anyway. What gives?

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I met this guy about a month ago at my work place and we both liked each other so we exchanged numbers.

Later the same day he came to my house and just talked and hung out. Both of us have partners in our lives, but we would still talk or hang out almost daily.

At one point I went over to his place to sleep over and we ended up having sex. Everything thereafter still went on as normal and he would occasionally come over and we’d sleep together.

All of a sudden, he’s been barely calling at all and I hardly see him. Should I ask what’s going on or would that just chase him away? Will he ever commit to me or start a relationship with me knowing that I already have a man in my life?
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My best guy friend and I were hanging out drinking and ended up having sex. We’ve had sex in the past and have fooled around.

The whole week he had been joking about us getting married if we were both single in 10 years. He says he wants to be friends but it always leads to sex and that night and I ended up sleeping over.

He didn’t contact me the next day and then today he sent me a text telling me he needs space and will contact me when he is ready. So my question is:  What did I do wrong and how do I react?

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I’ve been dating someone for a couple months now and, like a lot of people, he is experiencing financial difficulties.  He just recently began sharing these financial problems with me and I know it’s the reason why he’s been asking me out less than when we first started dating.

I’m not a very experienced dater so I’m unsure as to how to deal with this situation.  I like this man very much, I enjoy his company and he is incredibly kind.  I am fine having dates that are economical and have let him know this. However, I believe him to have a strong ‘male gene’ when it comes to who the provider should be.

How do I deal with this without making him feel as though I think less of him?

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When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up after being together for almost a year, he said he was too young to be tied down to just one girl and he had too many things on his plate (his school, his band, etc). He said I was his best friend and he would hate to lose me completely.

However, when I make comments on Facebook or Twitter about me spending time with other guys, he gets really angry and says I’m rubbing it in his face, trying to make him jealous.

At first I thought he just didn’t want me to move on from him, but then he called me and told me he missed being in a relationship with me and that he missed me since I hadn’t talked to him for three days).

We’re broken up still and I’m trying to move on but I can’t unless I know for sure. It’s over, but is it really over?

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I’ve been involved with this guy for about 3 and a half months now. We aren’t official but we have sex and we have had a very deep emotional connection pretty much from the start.

I previously had a thing with his best friend many months before I met my current guy. His best friend has a girlfriend now and I have no lingering feelings for him but what happened happened.

The guy I’m with won’t tell any of his friends that we are involved and he won’t tell his best friend either. He’ll even lie if his friends ask him about us when we are together. Is this a thing of him being ashamed, embarrassed, or up to no good?

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I’m in the early stages of dating a new guy, and although I’m not seeing stars, I’d like to see where it goes. He’s been very sweet so far; he calls me “hun” and “sweetie,” and he keeps in touch and follows through on his word (unlike other guys I’ve known).

I have had a casual relationship with someone else for several months that has never been broken off. I guess I want to keep my options open, and in case this new relationship doesn’t work out, I still want to maintain the casual relationship. If this new relationship does develop into something more, would it later be looked upon as a betrayal if I continued to see the casual relationship guy at this early stage?

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I want a committed booty call, instead of a committed relationship.

I truly think he’s an awesome guy, but I started the friendship off on the wrong foot by sleeping with him…and his roommate (before him).

I don’t want any kind of serious relationship right now, but I do want “casual sex” with ONE partner. Is it possible that he would be okay with me having sex with him, but not want the clingy relationship stuff?

Am I being a total skank by asking “hey wanna have sex, but you NOT call me and NOT buy me flowers?” I feel like men have booty calls, but women don’t…why can’t I have one? Is it really so wrong? (especially if I am tested clear of STDs and use protection)

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