Now that summer is over and the temps are getting cooler, it’s only natural to get a case of the blahs. But don’t give up and undo your good efforts and hard work from previous months—I won’t let you! Whether you’re seriously going through a rough time or just find yourself a bit bored with life in general, think about these rules the next time you want to Band-Aid the situation with a bag of Doritos. [continue reading…]

I went out with a guy that I dated once for a bit, but he didn’t want to be my boyfriend officially and we stopped talking for a while.  I saw him the other night and I happened to be all made-up and looking hot.

His eyes widened and he was speechless – then all of a sudden he started talking about becoming my boyfriend again.  I was shocked, but I’ve wanted to be a couple with him for a while.  I need to know though:  Does he only want to be my boyfriend because I looked hot that night?  Does he just want to be a couple because of my looks?

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Now that you’re getting more sleep and consuming less sugar (right?), it’s important to take a closer look at how you are setting yourself up to succeed in your weight loss efforts. Are your choices helping you or making it harderfor you to reach your goals? Because really, healthy eating is not about willpower—it’s about making conscious decisions that help make it easier for you to make good decisions. Chew on this: [continue reading…]

The last time I checked in, I emphasized the importance of making small, conscious lifestyle changes. Continue to think about how these efforts can really impact the big picture—whether you set an intention to go on a walk twice a week, drink more water daily, increase the intensity of your workouts or add more veggies to your meals.

Now, I’m going to hit ya with a little tough love and ask you to take it a step further. I know this might not be very much fun, but you really need to start taking control of—and owning up to—your actions. What do I mean? Well, I’ll put it in language we all can understand these days: Facebook.

Status Update #1 @ 4pm: Third Starbucks trip of the day! #grandesoylattePLEASE
Status Update #2 @ 1:30am: Omgggg Why am I still awake??? #fml
Status Update #3 @ 9am: Need…coffee…now #ughhhh

Ok, so I’m exaggerating a bit to make a point, but I HAVE seen similar updates on Facebook. The thing is, when it comes to your body, everything is connected. Don’t drink multiple cups of caffeine a day—particularly late in the afternoon—and then wonder why in the world you can’t get to sleep at night! Sure, there may be other contributing factors, but trust me, your Starbucks habit is not helping.

People in general tend to make excuses that have them believing there’s just nothing they can do to change. I know, I used to be one of them. But it’s time to get a grip and think about three of the biggest hindrances to weight loss: [continue reading…]

I’ve been seeing this guy for the past month. He’s been very sweet and I really like him.  He lives over an hour away, works during the week and hunts on the weekends, so seeing him regularly has been difficult.

At times he would text me in the mornings, but then he gets busy. Eventually, he started going days without texting unless I send him a text first.

He’s talked about us doing things together in the future.  He’s even said nice things about me to his mom.  But now it’s been two days without a response to my last text – did I do something wrong?  Should I send him another text?

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My boyfriend and I had a good relationship, but mutually agreed that a long distance relationship was not for us. Just before he moved to another state, I told him that it would be easier for me emotionally if I cut off contact with him completely. He said he didn’t want to but ultimately he agreed to it…

It’s been three weeks and I miss him. I want to reconnect with him, but I don’t know how to re-establish contact with him after telling him that I wanted to cut off all contact. Any advice?

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For the better part of my adult life, I was a Monday through Thursday calorie-counter. Once Friday hit, I’d loosen my belt juuuust a little…and then a little more, and then…by Sunday night, I’d find myself sitting on my couch in baggy sweats staring at the bottom of yet another empty pint of ice cream declaring, “I’m going to be good on Monday!” For me, this cycle was normal. In fact, at the time I assumed that everyone ate their body weight in junk food on Sunday night!

When I diagnosed myself as an emotional eater last year, a sense of self-awareness came over me. I have always prided myself as being an optimistic, resilient person, but I realized that when it came to food, I was quite resentful and angry. Why can’t I just eat a freakin’ cupcake and not have to think about it?! How can she polish off a burger and fries and stay so skinny? (Sound familiar?) Simply put, I was pissed off that making consistently healthy choices always seemed like such a chore.

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I’ve been dating a guy who I have known for a while for a month. The dates have all been amazing, we have so many core values, beliefs, and lifestyle aspects in common.

However, the part where we have sex and he withdraws happened.  I’ve been totally cool about it, giving him all the space in the world, no calls, texts, emails. My Facebook page (which I know he looks at) makes it clear I’ve been out with friends, at events, and that good things are happening at work.

My questions are: Is ANY contact okay during this withdrawal, or is all contact off limits for a while (the “Rules” say it is…)? How long do I give the withdraw period before realizing he doesn’t want to take things further? Is there anything a girl can do, apart from knowing that the guy would be crazy to not want her and continue to have an awesome life?  And is there any other form of encouragement we can provide that lets him know we are interested in him, but not sitting around helplessly?

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Pretty much everyone who knows me (including my 1,181 Facebook friends) is aware of the fact that that I am an avid Bethenny Frankel supporter. Whether you love her, hate her or simply just don’t get her, there is one thing I can say about this savvy businesswoman: She makes a heck of a lot of sense (and money!).

After reading Naturally Thin, I stopped obsessing about food; The SkinnyGirl Dish taught me that healthy cooking doesn’t have to be labor-intensive and A Place of Yes prompted me—immediately—to pursue a career as a nutrition counselor.

Here’s where where my journey with food and emotional eating began… [continue reading…]

I have been seeing this guy for awhile now. He told me  that he loves me twice and I told him I loved him as well.

However, he started to back off a bit and out of the blue I got an email saying he is scared because he fell in love with me and has been acting distant in an attempt to push me away because he’s getting “too emotionally attached.”

I am apparently too addictive and the relationship is complicating his life and making it difficult. I am lost on this one. Should I just forget him? How can a guy fall in and out of love like that?

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When my boyfriend and I broke up, he gave the reason that he’s not sure he can make me happy, because he’s not happy and he doesn’t want to bring that into the relationship if he can’t make the girl as happy as he is.

What does this all mean?  What do you think he’s going through and how can I help him get through this phase?

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I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and  I do not understand why he won’t stop flirting with other girls. I give him everything that he needs sexually, emotionally, physically and mentally, but still he flirts with other girls and has sexy conversations with them.  He never meets up with them, though.

I know he loves me because he told me first and he is a genuine person, but I hate feeling like I’m sharing him.  What should I do?

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I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months and aside from a few ups and downs, we have a happy relationship. However, there is one unresolved issue which has caused a lot of fights. He has this close girl friend who he used to have a crush on, but then decided was better off as a friend after getting to know her. In the beginning of our relationship, he would talk a lot about her and how “cute” she is  but he stopped when he realized I was getting jealous.

Now the main problem. I was using his laptop and saw she had written to him on Skype and couldn’t help but check. Their previous conversation showed up with phrases like “love you” from her and “miss you so much” from him.  I was shocked but could not really say anything about it.

I know saying those kinds of things with friends isn’t such a big deal, but my boyfriend is not the kind of person who says I miss you easily. I know that I can get jealous easily which is why I wanted a second opinion.  Do I react? If so, what do I say? Will he not be able to trust me if I say something?

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I know that guys view life like a game. Their mind is very stimulated and if they beat the game at level 1 and discover all the hidden gems then they won’t be interested in the game anymore, they’ll move on to the next.

So how do you keep mystery when you are dating someone? When he asks questions about your life do you tell him everything? And when he asks about your plans are you descriptive ? How can you balance between being mysterious yet captivating?

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I developed an habit of snooping around in my relationship of almost two years and I finally got caught snooping through his phone the the other night (up until this point he didn’t know how I knew things that I called him out on).

Is there anything I can do for damage control? Do men get over such behavior? Help! [continue reading…]

My boyfriend dumped me and says that he wants to stay single forever and wants to give up everything we had together. He said it’s his choice and told me not to bring it up again. I asked if we could still be good friends and he said yes. I asked him if he still loved me but he went offline.

I don’t know what to do because I really want him back. Is there a way to get him to give it a second chance? I have really strong feelings for him and just wish we could start over and make it work.

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My boyfriend and I are currently in a long distance relationship and my issue, whether we are together or apart, is that I don’t know how to express what I need from him in a way that doesn’t come across as being needy. For example, I need more contact than he is giving me, like a regular phone call once a week and a few more texts than he sends.

His work and my work make it difficult but it is not impossible. How do I tell him that without contact the connection between us fades for me and makes me feel unloved even though in reality I know he loves me very much? I just want to be able to tell him what I want without sounding needy. Is this possible? 

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It’s time to have a frank discussion about lying and deceit. I see a lot of fears floating around in the the dating world and it can be disheartening.

In order to have a truly fulfilling relationship (or even start a healthy relationship) with a great guy, you need to come from a place of strength, confidence, and fulfillment.

Whenever a relationship goes sour (or fails to launch), it’s almost always caused by some tiny fear, doubt, worry or insecurity that grows and festers until you feel overwhelmed by the whole ordeal.

And what happens?  Your fears and worries compel you to confirm whether they’re real or imaginary.  You stop enjoying the relationship for what it is and start craving validation and confirmation that it’s “the real deal.”

And there’s only one thing that manifests from that place… neediness.

QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life?

These days, people are quick to  throw the concept of neediness around without actually looking at what it is. I’ve had some of my female readers complain that the term neediness makes it sound like I’m framing women as weak, fragile, insecure creatures that just cling to men (and stress them out).

Nothing could be further from the truth.  I think women bring a tremendous strength and power to the table in relationships… when they have access to it and are free of their own fears.

Men and women have fears. Those fears are greater now more than ever really since there’s an entire industry devoted to making sure men and women are wrought with insecurities so they buy products (sowing in and agitating tiny insecurities is the bread and butter of the marketing world).

A major fear is being lied to deceived which brings me to the main question of this article: Why do men lie?

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I have noticed that you guys (and most dating advice sites, actually) focus a lot on things women do, but do you send men emails to help them with things? It just seems like women are somehow always the problem. It should go both ways to help a relationship, shouldn’t it?

Why is it that women are the ones who have to work on making the relationship better?  [continue reading…]

I’ve had a “casual” thing going with a guy for 6 months, mostly sexual. Two months ago, I told him I couldn’t do the casual thing anymore and since then things have been heading downhill fast. Today was my birthday and he didn’t even wish me a happy birthday!

I don’t want this anymore but I’m getting mixed advice from people. Some tell me that I should text him and tell him that I don’t want to do it anymore and others tell me that I should just stop texting and just ignore him if he reaches out, which I find particularly cruel.

What should I do?

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There was a guy who seemed interested in me, but at the time I was pursuing another guy. Things have changed and I’m interested in this guy now, but a mutual friend told me that I “missed my chance and he’s moved on.”

He seemed like he liked me before and I think he might now, but I can’t tell if he’s into me or one of the other girls that he hangs out with. How can I tell if I still have a chance with him? How do I know if he still likes me?
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Meeting guys and having guys interested in me is not a problem.  I don’t want to sound arrogant, but I’m in good shape and everyone tells me how pretty I am so I don’t doubt my physical attractiveness.

Here’s the thing: There is a guy I see a lot (he’s a friend of a friend) and I’ve developed a crush on him. I was trying to find out if he was into me and a friend of mine quoted him saying that I was a “cool girl, but not his type”.

I really like this guy – I want to understand why he doesn’t like me and if there’s anything I can do to get him to like me and see me as a romantic interest.

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I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and a half now, and I ended up losing my virginity to him.

We’ve had sex twice now, and the going’s been good, but he’s under the impression that he wasn’t my first even though I told him well otherwise, and he was shocked when I’d originally told him I was still a virgin.

I’m 25 years old (shocking in itself, but I feel his shock had less to do with my age and more to do with my looks), and I’m no idiot about sex– very well-read and informed girl here!– but I was definitely a stranger to it before him, which he thinks is a lie.

It’s really bothering me that he refuses to believe me and has even said he doesn’t know what he can trust about me, especially with the virginity.  I don’t think he would have cared whatsoever if I wasn’t a virgin, but he really was my first! Why can’t he just believe me?

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Ok, I am confused…I thought guys were totally into the text versus actually talking on the phone. But there is one guy who I am interested in who seems to not fit that mold. Help! He takes hours to answer a text message when we all KNOW that our phones are glued to our face. I don’t understand…we will be texting back and forth for a few, then nothing…air silence! I told him it bothers me but he keeps doing it!

What is the deal? I am so OVER the four hour response time…especially when we don’t talk over any other media.

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I’ve been talking to a guy for a little over a month but we have not officially met up (I actually met him about 5 years ago through a friend but we were seeing other people at the time).  We have talked about getting together, but have yet to actually set a date.

Our main form of communication is via text message, and we’re skirting on the border of friends and more than friends. About 2 weeks ago, I straight up asked the guy I’ve been talking to/flirting with if he just wanted to sleep with me. I’ve noticed that any time I’m very direct, his answers are kind of vague.

I’m guessing he is unsure of what he wants but I’m just wondering if being direct is a bad thing? Don’t men usually think women are overly complicated?

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I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I love him so much. I think our relationship is really great and he is everything that I could ever ask for. We have almost everything in common and I know he loves me too.

I’ve always known that he’s not the romantic type but in the beginning of the relationship, he always used to say sweet things at unexpected times to give me butterflies, he used to take me out to romantic dinners, etc.

I feel like he’s just not putting as much of an effort anymore into being romantic. I feel like he’s so comfortable with me (which I obviously like), but once in a while it would be nice to feel like he still is trying to reel me in.

 I’ve tried everything to keep our relationship exciting.  Do you think he’s getting bored?

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I was in what I thought was a serious relationship for a year and half with my best friend. He developed a crush on me and after me rejecting him for 6 months we finally started dating. I fell in love fast and hard and he seemed to feel the same way.

However, he cheated on me recently and I’m confused as to why. He apologized and said he loves me no matter what but I’m not sure if I should take him back or if he really means it. He has stopped calling But we have gone on breaks before.

Do u think he really loves me? If so what do u think I should do?

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My relationship started out mushy and sweet with tons of texting, but recently slowed way down. I hate to admit it but I did let myself seem a little needy, unintentionally of course. He straight out told me “I don’t know what I want right now.. I just got out of something that was messy.. all I did was work and see her.. but I wasn’t lying about how I feel about you…”

I was a little confused so I played it cool and told him to just relax and not to put pressure on what we are. It’s best if we just go with the flow and see what happens. Two days later he texted me, just seeing what was up, and we had a short, simple, normal conversation.

So my question is, did I save face after being needy by playing it cool? And if so, is it the right move to not contact him…?

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and eight months.  I knew he never wanted to get married but assumed we would eventually live together.

He now tells me that he doesn’t want to live together. He likes living alone.

I am so heartbroken. It feels like I don’t have a future together. He seems to put himself and friends first before me. He tells me he loves me always and forever. I am confused. Do I stay with the man I love more than anything in this world?  What do I do if my boyfriend doesn’t want to move-in together?

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