1: How long do you give a man to pull away or know hes not coming back.

No way of knowing but I feel he may have just been being polite & is not interested.

I’d say if a man says nothing for a week it’s a clear indication of lost interest. However if something stressful truly is going on, I think 2 weeks could be more like it.

I wouldn’t waste your time wondering about him though.

Yep it felt to me as though he was trying to be polite also – the ladies around me said he is still interested but im not so sure about that and am not the type of person to fool myself. I know he is full on atm and i know will be this week and next, theres no doubt about that and his parent is dying also. He acknowledged that he hadnt been in touch and was sorry but just had to do what he had to to get by right now, then offered i come to a family pool party at his that night. I already deleted ALL his stuff – then there is zilch chance of me contacting him. I already said to him good luck and that i didnt expect to hear from him, so if hes not interested, then why did he come back showing interest?? he couldve just gone with my nice see ya and good luck text and been done with it?? thoughts??

Pool party is not strange … As I have been one. Death nowadays are mourned differently.

But I would put dating someone new on hold if that happens…

Dating are never black and white.

Why sent text like this over a guy you meet online?
No need to enlarge his importance unless he becomes an important person of your life.

You poked …
He poked back…

Now what …?

It sounds like he has a lot on, but even so, I think he would likely explain that and not leave you hanging. He invited you to the pool party, so he could have invited you before you got in touch if he’d wanted to and had been thinking about you. He may be swamped, in which case he could be back once his life has calmed down. I’m glad you’re not waiting around for that to happen though

Thanks all :) like i said, i deleted everything and anything to do with him,- just my way of letting go irrespective of if he returns or not. I most certainly HAVE left him alone, not sure how one came to think i hadnt??? otherwise i would loose respect for myself – lol.. i have a level of dignity i like to maintain and that comes with NOT chasing a guy in any way shape or form. All the experts say guys pull away, but never tell you if you know they have pulled away or gone, i havent seen anything about how long one should ‘wait’ as such – which is the initial question i had. My life is pretty good, great job, lovely friends, gym, dancing etc…just would like the icing on the cake :) We both said we wouldnt date others – it doesnt matter what another person does to me, i will always try to hold onto my own morals and values and i have a great deal of integrity. I wasnt just ‘going’ to start dating others without telling him so, which is why i sent the initial text, not to manipulate in any way shape or form, but so i knew I was doing the ‘right’ thing. He then came back to me which threw me off – i wouldve been content had he not, or if he had agreed that we were not for each other…kind of bugs me that he did really but still isnt coming through – geez it really was his perfect time to let me go.. If in the next couple days, i still want to just move on and date others, i will let him know – if i hold off and don’t hear by weeks end – i will simply move on and date others.

Why would you need to “inform” him that you’re dating other men? None of his concern. You aren’t exclusive. Just assume he isn’t interested and go on about your business.

Definitely do not let him know that would turn him off because it would show you are way over thinking him. If a guy has lost interest & you said that, you’d be making a fool of yourself.

But as a rule of thumb, if a man hasn’t contacted you in a week, then forget him.

i think generally, we know deep down what we have to do. no one is an expert at these things, and everyone is different. but for your own specific situation, i’d say listen to your intuition – we sense when things are wrong, or off balance. we don’t always know how to describe what’s off but you, yourself knows what’s best. it seems like you know how to proceed with this, and there is no point on dwelling on the past, hoping for him to come back, another outcome, etc. i’m a firm believer of…do what you feel is right. trust that you’ve made the right decision, walk away and don’t make yourself fit with someone who seems unsure of what he wants. don’t settle for crumbs.

We dated for three months, we’re planning to get married, had even met his parents but he pulled away after we had sex. It’s now a month. Will he ever come back?

Usually when a man pulls away, there is some contact but less frequent and distant. If he’s not coming back there is no contact, especially if you reach out.

He sounds like he is probably not coming back, at least any time soon — especially because it sounds like things are just going to be getting worse due to his parent being ill.

If I were you, I would move on. Send him some good vibes when you’re thinking of him, then let it go. You may hear from him again someday but I wouldn’t count on it.