1month-5 dates, amazing guy…who just updated his dating app pics

Hey honey yeah leave it be get busy with your life and if he wants you he will chase you.

The sexual exclusive thing I have either always said before I sleep with someone that I don’t sleep with people unless we are exclusive or the guy has always brought it up first.
It is a good sign if a guy brings it up before you engage in that activity.

In my relationship I didn’t have to say a word my guy layed it all out on the table about how he didn’t want to be with anyone else and we talked about our birth control options before we ever engaged in sex.

You live in NYC and many of the people in finance are busy all the time. Literally. ALL THE TIME. So, that could be true. and it is most likely part of the package.

Before you give him a terse answer, because you are protecting yourself (all the hens on here squawking about what it means), you should see him and have a nice time. He gets a mulligan, as they say and if you don’t take it personally, all is means is what he told you. If it keeps happening, that is something different.

Please for your sanity, stop looking at him on the website. It does nothing but make your angry, feel insecure and change your happy vibe. The reality is if you are confident and he is in the right place, he can talk to a million girls and keep coming back.

You have learned a very valuable lesson here about setting expectations and how you need to do that prior or it is very difficult to backtrack.

I stand behind it, and at times, when I am particularly frustrated, I can also be one. And it has never once helped to assume the worst.

Closing up is not the answer here, it is observing and then acting. His supposed pull back could be a pull back, or it could be legitimate that he has other things to do. There is no reason to turn it into a self fulfilling prophecy by assuming meaning or being short to prove a point.

Think of it as strike one – for that, you get another pitch and try, you do not walk off the field.

I prefer the term, Cackling She Devil.
Hahahahahahahahaaa!

Sherri,
Someone referred to the ‘hens’ on this site, someone else took offense… I said I prefer the term cackling she devil…

You sound like you’re in a wonderful place! Made me happy to read this. Thank you everyone for such great advice, I was reading along and it helped me so much.

Just curious…..did D attend Choate?

Really enjoyed reading this thread….you sound like youre in a good place with D.

Some fantastic dating advice on here ladies, although us brits arent as “ballsy” as some of our counterparts across “the pond”. Have made some notes though, and will use some of the advice given on here.

Good luck with D I hope it moves up a gear to “exclusive” real soon for you x

so what is the question here? he likes you but he already knows you are not the one or maybe he is just looking for someone to sleep with

wow, dating in US (especially NYC) and in my country (small country in Europe) seem so different :O It really seems so complicated and time consuming in there! In here we probably even don’t do dating as such – in here you kind of are single and keep your options open (and perhaps have some FB-s or FWB-s) until you meet someone who you really like and then you kind of just naturally start to spend more time, include that person with your friendsgroup and spending time together at home pretty soon etc and be together in relationship (hopefully) eventually. And it can happen pretty quick – all succesful relationships which I know have formulated within first weeks/months. In US it kind of seems like a “business deal” – you date multiple people at the same time etc. It’s not so common here. Well, personally within 8 years of being single I have found ca 5 men overall who interest me that much that I could have a relationship with them (it hasn’t worked out for one or another reasons), but find more than 1 or 2 quality guys to date at the same time… well, won’t happen in here.

Sorry, my input wasn’t something useful, just I found it so different how it’s here and there.

I’m actually a bit confused – what means “dating” for you overall? (in here we probably use more a term “seeing someone”). And what difference is between exclusive dating and having a relationship?

I remember in that old post i mentioned that we dont even have a word for gf or bf. Literally we say my friend if you refer to your bf. Its funny

None of what the ladies said is a load of crap, The problem is social media has screwed it all up to the point both sexes don’t know what the heck they are doing today.

The Fact is, you are single until you’re in a relationship. Just because you’re getting to know one or five guys at a time means a hill of beans, it only means something when you become a couple. If it’s not going anywhere you walk, it’s pretty darn simple but it’s become too complicated because courting has been replaced with dating, which is NSA sex if there’s no emotional bonding and progression taking place.

BTW, I just fell into relationships when it was far less complicated (pre-internet) because there was not only a small pool to chose from but men courted those they were romantically interested in, and dated those they only wanted NSA sex with (aka one-night stands). Because sex has become so easy there is no incentive for men, or even women, to enter into relationships today because there’s always a better one a click away.

A little off topic but I just read an article that STD’s in the military has skyrocketed over 70% in the past two decades, and is becoming a threat to military readiness. They represent only 1% of the population so something ladies seriously should be concerned about v. “are we on the same page?” Sex can be dangerous to your life and health, and why one shouldn’t engage just to “catch a guy” because chances are you could catch an STD instead.