2 days w/o texts, is it time to delete his number?

well I told you what was going on and what you should do, I hope you re-read the article ““Disappearing Reappearing Man: What To Do?””. Guys pull a Houdini all the time.
Maybe you should evaluate if he is worth wasting all your energy and emotional investment.

Maybe hear out his explanation but seriously in this day and age who goes out of contact with a girl they are in “love” with for 8 days? The answer is nobody. Listen to his reasoning but don’t buy it hook, line, and sinker. I seriously think more is going on that he is not telling you -like you mentioned he could be playing a game. Everybody keeps their cell phone.. and it’s EXTREMELY hard for me to believe that he hadn’t accessed his phone for 8 FULL days.

Thanks girls. I read through all your opinions and gave them serious thoughts.

I did like him a lot and thought he was a gentleman.

These 8 days actually cooled me down and really evaluated his characters. And I agreed that maybe I invested too much into him, while I should not. Nice girls, just like nice guys, finish last. Lol. This is human nature.

I have realized that he bitches about his ex sometimes, maybe he is not completely over her. He was with her for 10 months and only dated me for 2 months. He is not ambitious enough since his family is rich, but that is NOT his Money. He always talks about being in the upper class of the society, for example how much tax his dad paid last year or how nice his neighborhood is. For once, he was out of town, he said he would call but he never did. He did text me though. I felt like I started to chase him, because I thought he loved me, like he said, and I trusted him. and I blindly thought he was a good catch with financial prospect. And I was being too nice to him, lol.

I have decided to let him go.

I will not text him back or initiate any contacts. He did not ask for commitment, right? He wants his freedom, right? He did not tell me where he would be, right?

Now he gets what he wants, or what he thinks he wants. He will have his freedom. No commitment from me, no contact, and never need to tell me about his whereabouts ever again. I am done.

Too bad I cannot completely disappear for at least 1 more month. I do have a class with him and I cannot skip all the time. So I need to see his sorry face for another month, but I will be polite and distant.

Girls but I was not desperate before. I waited hours to reply to his texts, only called him once, never bombarded him with anything. One time he had to call me at work to make sure I was ok cause I kept ignoring his texts. I am proud of myself.

I will not be treated like a doormat. I wish him well and give him what he wanted, that is it. He mesas it up and will live with it.

Trust me, he will totally regret it in the future.

Good for you. And don’t let anyone question your decision.

Please keep us updated if something happens! (if he texted or if you changed your mind etc.)
I’m really curious!

But I also have done self-reflection during this time, and figure out what I have been doing wrongly or made myself less attractive. I am a humble being, and I tend to analyze things and learn from it.

I was predictable. I thought since we said I love you and things were moving pretty steady, I lowered my guard and became predictable, or sadly, boring to a guy’s eyes. He texted me daily, I would always respond hours afterward. He knew that I was always there for him, and he pretty much got me and my heart. This lowers my value in his eyes, he conquered this girl, no more suspense. So keeping yourself unpredictable and sometimes throw him off, being cold and warm periodically is the way to go. Never let him know fully he has got you and you think he is the one. As a result, he started spending less time with me, and I started chasing him, I should have pulled back at that time and increase the intensity, but i did not, so he went MIA.

I was thinking far ahead. We talked about how many children we want to have, we both want two. One time I suggested that he can go to my hometown with me, not even suggested to meet with my parents just to hang out in the city and have fun, he immediately said, it has been two months, let us take this slowly. So he thought I was asking him to meet my folks, and he did not want to do that. So I should not even bring that up because that misleadingly made me look needy and desperate in his eyes, like I was trying to tie him down already. You should not talk about the future until he brings it up.

I was too nice. When we first met I did not speak to him that day cause I was grumpy, but he was very attracted to me. But as time went by I developed feelings for him, I acted nice and considerate and again, pretty bland and boring. I lost my edge. I think sometimes it is good to be a little bitchy to scratch him with your claws, like a little kitty. It hurts a little but pain makes him excited.

Besides that, I have not done anything that is terribly unpleasant. But I have learned from my encounter with this one :)

Generally, do not make him feel like you fall hard for him and him only already, do not be predictable, you want to make him wonder what the hell is going on?! You do not talk about the future or hometown, and you are not always nice to him, giving him a little attitude spices things up and prevent you from looking like a doormat. When he does not treat you as well as before, you pull back and never chase him.

I am sorry, but this all some not very helpful advise in my opinion. How about talking to him like an adult? All these games get more games. Relationships are not about punishment, they are about growth, connection and vulnerability.

Since you have not spoken to him, you are making up some story. And everyone here is indulging you in that story. When he got back, you should have said, we need to talk. Maybe waited one day to get back to him, but not more. Then actually asked him what happened and then explained 8 days disappearance was a turn off and made you question the relationship. And that if it happens again, it is over. Boom. Problem solved.

For all you know, something real happened and since this man had shown up till that time, should have been given the benefit of the doubt.

This will not work based on your behavior and the spiral down is getting worse. Just call him back and hear him out. Jeez. Read evan mark katz about the mulligan.

Tall lady is absolutely right. Stop with the games. “Mirror his behaviour”? Jesus Christ, just tell him that you didn’t appreciate being told that he loves you and going MIA for 8 days. You’re planning on letting him go anyway, so you’ve got nothing to lose.

Oops… I just read all your updates! Sounds like he is definitely a dickhead! lol.
I think you should move on. But in general, two days without texting is not the end of anything, I have dated lots of guys where we go a few days in between texts and things are sweet once we catch up again. I’m not big on texting really.
Good luck babe.

Hello CC,
Sounds to me you are convincing yourself that this man is more than what he really is.
If you want to spend more of your time training him, so be it.
I still think with all that energy you spent agonizing over this man that this situation isn’t a good one.
However, the choice is yours.
Best wishes.

Patsyshirt, sorry girl I let you down, I did not make him wait 8 whole days, today is the sixth day into the no contact rule, and he texted me again trying to communicate, I felt sorry for him. In addition, one of my friends is going to have to break up due to family disapproval. I got the news today and was pretty sad. So I softened and finally responded to him.

I asked him how things are going with him, he answered, things have been OK. Do you all see that, just ok for him, lol.

I am glad that he has learned his lesson, obviously he was not too comfortable and roaming free like a stallion in the past 6 days. The thought that i am pissed at him does not let him rest lightly.

I am going to hear what he has to say. Honestly at this point, I do not fully trust him, and no contact for a couple days helped me emotially detached from him.

This is why it is so easy to let him go now. He is NOT important anymore, not indispensable.

We exchanged 2 texts then I stopped. I cooked myself a great dinner and enjoyed it, him coming back or leaving does not influence me much anymore. I have finally gained full control of the situation.

Then at 11pm he texted me again and asked, r u there?

I was napping and that woke me up. I responded what do you need?

He then responded right back, I think he was staring at his iPhone because he immediately read it and started typing, said he wonders how my cute face has been doing, and he just wants to text me, the a shy smile face.

I have not responded.

Just want to text me? what the hell does that mean? He misses me? He welcomes me back? He wants to be my pen pal from now on? Lol.

We will see how this goes.

This time I will remember the lesson I learn. This time I am going to make him work harder, to be unpredictable, to make him wonder, to be a little bitchy, and never too considerate or too nice.i am going to make him invest more. The more he invest, the more he values the relationship.

Nice girls, just like nice guys, finish last. They r boring, remember that ladies. :)

I cringed when I read the words ‘train’, ‘ punish’ … Really? That will make for a great relationship. He’s not a dog.

I believe you are both acting like kids. The phone does give you the ability to actually speak with each other. The texting and attitude nonsense is silly.

How old are both of you, because it sounds like you are both 12 years old.