2 years on…

So you two broke up two years ago and you’re just thinking about how you should have done things differently?

I’ve done this before.

It sounds like he was cheating on you and you were his backup plan in case things didn’t workout with her. Thus why the hot and cold, and his lingering for a while.

This is typical cheater behavior. Also, cheating is MUCH more common than many people realize. Sometimes people breakup and then in a few weeks they see their ex all happy on social media with someone else. People question how they could move on so fast, but really that person probably had someone waiting in the wings ready to go before the breakup even happened.

I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s happened to me too. What I can tell you is, cheaters are not good people to have in your life. Trust me when I say, he is without.

Thank you for your kind words of support.

I had never thought of the backup plan thing but it does make a lot of sense by what he was saying and doing at that time. I think when I asked about this woman, he realised I caught him out so he was a coward and started to cover his tracks. He also started deleting mutual friends and still does to this day.

I know they’ve known each other for many years. I never heard about her when we were together. It seems they come in and out of each other’s lives.

What would I have done different? Blocked him the minute he walked out my door the last time I saw him. I also kept it classy and didn’t badmouth him to people so I know I can be proud of how I handled it.

When we broke up he listed out a list of things he needed to do to improve himself.

A couple of weeks later he told me that he was still there for me but he just needed to sort some sh!t out. He was just putting false hope in my head. No wonder I was getting confused. I had a friend who told me not to wait around because they say these things but never actually do it.

For so long I wondered what I had done wrong to him to have deserved the treatment I got from him. When the penny dropped and confirmed on the weekend that he did it and blocked me because of this other woman, it all was clear. Don’t you love it when the universe throws something like this towards you a couple of years later to remind you to keep moving forward and that you can do better. After the weekend, It has answered a lot of the unanswered questions I had.

He doesn’t deserve to be in my life at any capacity.

All of you have been so kind and wonderful. I can’t thank you enough.

Thanks Alice. It was hard to seperate who he was as a person and who he was and how he treated me after.

I have worked on myself a lot over the last 2 years. It’s all because of what he put me through. I have found my voice. I am an introvert and a quiet person. I walk away from situations now that are not in my best interest. I stand up for myself. I have so much confidence in myself. I also have confidence in knowing that I deserve a good, honest partner. Who he is and who I thought he was are so different. He always said I was too good for him, and now I believe I am. She can have him. He is no prize. I hope she enjoys him using his mental health as excuses, his flakiness, alcoholism and all the baggage And troubles he brings along that he has with his sons mum.

Thanks Alice.

His dog died last year. I looked after the dog for 6 months, including 6 weeks after our break up. He had a house that had no fence and so I looked after her. As you can imagine, we
Had such a bond and it broke my heart when she left. He promised to keep me up to date on her and send photos. Got nothing. I found out that she died. I sent him a really nice message sending my condolences. I realised that I was blocked on his phone. So I sent it again a couple of days later via messenger. He called a couple of hours later and I missed the call. Tried calling back but he didn’t take me off block. I tried a couple of others ways to find out more information but he just continued to ignore me. Eventually, after a month, he wrote back. Apologised for his behaviour and that he can’t explain it. He said he came off his meds. Told me what happened to her. Then he blocked me.

Awesome guy hey hahahahaha. That was the last time I heard from him.

Thanks Newbie! I’ve just downloaded it. I’ve always been someone that people take advantage of so anything that can help is worth reading. I just finished “Nice girl syndrome”. Such a great read :)