25, was this a date? kinda long and confusing. need help decoding this

Hi all. Nice to be in here again. This is going to be long. I don’t remember last time I posted in here, may have been early summer. I am 25 and living in NYC still but lately have been home the past few months and trying to work from home because my dad took a bad turn and my mom had an accident so I have been playing caregiver. Then I was back in the city for a few weeks and things got bad again. My dad passed away two weeks ago. He had cancer for six years, I am amazed we had an extra few years with him.

I had off two weeks of work but trying to get back into things and its weird. 25 and losing a father. We had a complicated relationship, but at the end of the day he was my dad. Anyways, the point before I dive in further is that I am grieving, but this is also about a man. Oddly brings me peace knowing amongst my grief I can still come to this site and ask “wtf is going on with this guy?!” hahaha. I’ll provide some context.

I talked to this guy during the pandemic in 2020 for awhile and we went on a few dates once it was safe to do so and thought we connected. This was all in our hometown. He started acted weird and barely was texting me and spamming me when he was obviously bored. I got quite fed up with it and gave him one more chance and he bailed on me last minute before we had a date. He went MIA on me for a month before asking me how i’m doing and I then called it off. His last words to me over text was “I enjoy talking to you and spending time with you I’m just a massive f**k up.” That was sept 2021.
I got a text from him in April 2023, an essay basically, apologizing for how it ended between us and that he was an alcoholic at the time and i didn’t deserve it. I deleted his number so it took me a bit to register who it was. I accepted the apology, we left it at that. He texted me again randomly in july asking if i saw a movie because he remembered we both bonded over films. I asked him though if he had another agenda with reaching out to me and he basically said no, and that expecting anything else after two years of no contact would be a bold move from him. Left it at that.

I ended up texting him about a movie a few weeks later (purely just about the movie) and he suggested that we should see Oppenheimer together since we both love movies. I agreed because I was home helping my parents and figured it might be different. He picked me up from my house and the movie itself was great, but he was so awkward after the date. He said he didn’t eat anything all day and i suggested getting some food and he said lets do it. He mumbled the whole time we ate and didn’t ask me any questions and i was super confused. He dropped me off and we hugged bye and i got the hint he was not interested and deleted his number again lol. 3 weeks later he texts me asking me hows it going. Threw me for a loop.

We texted again and then a bit in October he went MIA again. He apologized and texted me two weeks later when my dad went into the ICU and when he passed. I rambled to him and said I probably need a distraction at some point but not right now (suggesting to do something, i wasn’t thinking as he just died). He said he would think of something and that hes a bit busy but he’s there. I don’t reply to that. A week later he checks in on me and asks me how i’m doing. So he double texted me….and a few days later we ended up at this pizzeria and he brought a bottle of wine (he paid for it all) and we took a drive around our hometown and just talked. We ended up taking this oddly romantic stroll on this nature trail and sat on a bench and looked up at the stars for like 40 minutes. We sat close to one another but he did not kiss me (and mind you, we kissed before in 2021 when we briefly dated). After we got up from the bench he asked me when i’m going back to the city. When he was dropping me off he kind of just stared at me and i leaned in for a hug and i think he was confused. I squeezed him and told him thank you because i felt normal again after such immense grief. But i have no idea if hes actually interested. What is his deal. Ill take the night for what it is but its possible it was all platonic?

Anyways, I am still very much grieving and juggling other stuff and hes in law school. I didn’t hear from him since, which seems to be his style post hangout. I am just confused. Maybe he didn’t wann