3rd Date Mistake

You can easily say the ticket went to someone else so you have to reschedule for next week. Then leave ot to him to make plans. I dont see what you did wrong here. And i also wouldnt be bummed about him cancelling. Just have zero expectations

I think you would do well to have wayyyy less expectations the beginning stages of dating. He is doing nothing wrong. Who knows maybe he is cancelling to go out with Sally. Then he sees Sally and realizes he likes hanging out with you better. This is dating. He was communicative and didn’t just diss you. Take a breath. I would let him travel on the weekend. Don’t pay attention to if he reaches out until Sunday or Monday and IF he does reach out regarding the comedy show say — Looking forward to seeing you! Let me know if you’d still like to attend the show or plan something on our own (smiley face). I’m up for either.

What K said-you are being silly. Stop overthinking and assume the date is on for him coming to the concert. If he backs our of that,then he has lost interest. Otherwise,like K says,chill.

“He then texts me a few hours later and very apologetically says that he had to cancel plans because “he forgot he had a thing”. And to please not hate him”

I always find this a red flag- this “please don’t hate him”, because he probably has a habit of cancelling and has annoyed many women in the past. He will probably cancel on the Comedy show anyway.

Don’t reach out again. If he wants a date he can put forth the effort to make it happen.

So, just an update. After the guy cancelled for our Weds night date, he continued to text me a little bit every day (including the night he cancelled on me- so maybe he didn’t have a date?), and over the weekend when he went away. It was him reaching out mostly, aside from me texting him to have a good trip. So all of that was nice and encouraging.

Fast forward to last night for our rescheduled “date” at the comedy club with my friends. It ended up being just kind of awkward. There was absolutely no affection on his end, which was completely opposite from the first 2 dates. When the show ended, I asked what he wanted to do. He said he just wanted to get home, he was tired and the weekend was catching up to him. I was definitely disappointed, esp since I hadn’t seen him since last week, and we didn’t have any alone time during this “date”, was hoping at least to go for a drink alone with him somewhere. We walked together to the subway, and no mention of another date (though when we settled the bill at the comedy club, he paid for me, which I tried to pay him back for, but he said not to worry, I’ll get him drinks next time). He texted me when he got home and made some joke about one of the comedians. I replied back and also mentioned “sorry if tonight was a little awkward having my friends on the date” and he replied “Ha yeah just a little!” And that was the end of the conversation. So now I really regret inviting him along and wish we just went out another day.

Ugh, I don’t know what to think. I’m just going to keep quiet for a bit and let him reach out. Though I have a suspicion things might be over on his end.

Thanks Liz- that was really my initial concern, that it was really too soon to meet my friends. But he had offered to do the same at one point (which I declined), so thought I’d be friendly and do the same. But after extending the invitation, part of me knew it was a mistake.

And yes, this was all last night. I can definitely see him not being affectionate in front of my friends, though even on the walk to the subway when we were alone, there was no hand holding or anything. I guess it’s felt a little off, really since last week, when he initially cancelled the 3rd date. He still reaches out and chats, but it’s really not as much talking or flirting as before. Which is fine, but it also makes me think his interest is declining.

But, just going to sit tight, and let him reach out. I don’t want to force anything if he’s not feeling it any more.