Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › 4 month relationship progression
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 7 years, 8 months ago by
Amanda.
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Nelly
Hello all,
I was wondering if you wise ladies had an idea of how a relationship should be progressing at 4 months? We’ve traveled together, met the friends, survived the holidays together, and met each others families. Do you think that sounds pretty normal? He’s been kinda quiet lately, and I can’t figure out if we went too fast. We haven’t told eachother ‘I love you’ yet. There have been a couple times I wanted to say it, but I want him to say it first. He obviously likes and cares about me, but I truthfully don’t know if he loves me. Is it too soon?
Maria
Do not say it first. Men are much more about “power games” than we women, and they instinctively take things to their advantage, so don’t rush with exposing yourself.
At this point he is guaranteed to be thinking seriously about you. So take it easy, give him space if he needs to, be sweet and loving and wait. He’ll come up with a decision soon. But he won’t necessarily announce it right then. You will most likely feel things differently from him. At 5-6 months, if nothing changed, and he has not said anything, you need to talk to him about it. Do not invest your time and effort into a man without some sort of a commitment, especially if you are single and want to start a family in the nearest future.
Monica
Hi!
I too am at the 4 month relationship mark with my man. Everything has been great, and we met eachother’s family (I finally met his kids right before Christmas). I have fallen in love with him, and want to say it so bad, infact, I’m afraid it’s going to accidently slip out. The general rule of thumb I’ve found to be true is that men are a month or two behind women. So, I feel like if I feel it now, he likely does too, but will feel “safer” saying it a month or two after us women normally would! Guys withdraw sometimes for a number of reasons. If you look on pinterest and look up the article, “Why Guys Withdraw” it really could help you understand them better. It helped me a while back. Sounds like everything is fine. I would not fret!
Nelly
Thank you for the input. I have been giving him soace. We live 45 mins from eachother so we usually only get together on weekends. He doesnt text much and he never calls. I try not to initiate texting unless I need a question answered right now. And it seems like he’s stopped planning… so there aren’t really any dates anymore, it’s just “are you hungry? Let’s go here”.
Monica
Hmm, has he always not texted and called or is that a new behavior? Keep to your guns and don’t initiate. A rule of thumb I’ve always followed is “if he wants to talk to you, he’ll find a way.” Stick to your guns by not initiating text or calls. It’s SO hard, but if he won’t put in the effort now, he won’t later. Time will tell! Good luck!
Nelly
He’s never been a big texter or phone talker, so I didn’t think that was out of the ordinary. The not planning ahead is different thought. He’s usually a big planner, and likes to have things planned out. The month of December was really busy and pretty much every weekend was booked… and now…. nothing. *sigh*
So, I will give him space, even though we usually don’t see each other during the week. I won’t initiate texting. I won’t ask what’s going on this weekend. Like you said Monica, if he wants to get a hold of me, he knows how.
Netto
Me too I’m in a 4 months relationship with a divorced man. Things have been going so well all throughout but now he hardly calls and all he says is that he has problems to sort out. Earlier on in a relationship we agreed to solve problems together but now he wants me to give him some time then he wil be back.This is someone who was taken before;So I’m here wondering what kind of problems?Is it helpful to wait?Any idea on that;plz help
Amanda
Netto all you can do is step back. Prepare yourself though, it sounds like he is getting ready to break up. And you should probably go to “forums” at the top of the page and start your own post.
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