A never-met long distance relationship?

Until you two meet in person, he’s just a pen pal …

What if he smells of fish & cottage cheese…
What if he’s only 5’2″…
What if he lives in his Mother’s basement with 15 cats…

You have no idea who this guy is… Why don’t you date more locally?

Saying you are in “love” with someone you never met in person is also very childish..

Please be a grownup here. Be realistic. Stay away from LDRs. They very seldom work, even when people start out in person, let alone when there was NEVER a face to face meeting. This is all fantasy.

Vicky97, this experience is something you should take as “never do it again”.

It is not impossible, theoretically, but you have never met this person, all video comms cannot replace real life.

What do you feel so attached to? To your idea of this person. If you started out in real life and THEN had to do LDR, this will be different, and still, very unlikely to succeed. In this case, unless you plan on meeting in person and being in the same city permanents, what can come out of it?

Very important, you should keep dating other guys if there’s any potential one. Don’t lock yourself up for a uncertain long distance relationship.

Oh no, I will not say how you could be so naive because you are very young. Yes we should gain experiences but not this way by starting a destined to fail dream relationship that has nothing to do with reality. It is not that you cannot fully trust him, you cannot trust him at all! You have simply and absolutely no idea who this guy is. He could be Jack the Ripper for all you know.

I know that you will say no, I see his profile. Well, guess what, it is very easy to create virtual identities. He could still be Jack the Ripper. Ok, put that aside, hopefully nothing so extreme exists but you simply have no clue who he is, it is very easy to talk a girl off her feet over the phone. Who is he in real life? What personality he has? None of these have anything to do with internet or phone relationships. He may have serious character flaws, we all do, you will simply not know prior to spending enough time with him, or sometimes you know very fast once you meet but my feeling here is that you may not even be looking for red flags as you do not have the experience yet.

And what if there is absolutely no chemistry? You have to meet before you know that. I met many men online who IRL utterly disappointed me at the first meeting for whatever reason. You are simply fooling yourself into this and I truly hope you do not mean moving there for a person you do not know. I moved for guys twice in my life, both times following a relationship lasting over a considerate amount of time and both failed. You have to live together to really know that but at least know each other for years preferably and even then it can fail.

Another thing to take into consideration is why an eligible bachelor like him would look for virtual reality, for a pseudo relationship and how he could tell a girl he never met that he loves her. How many girls is he saying this to? None of this is normal and it would make me run for the hills. I would really beware. Please stop this in its roots and look for real love and a real relationship with a man that can see reality as this behavior of his all signal potential problems with stalking, abuse, abnormality. These men fixated on women online often have severe behavioral disorders, again ask yourself the question why is he not looking for something real right now where he is?

I don’t really have time to date in real life this school year bc it’s my last and i hv to study pretty hard. And of course i won’t move bc of him – the country and area he lives near by offers much better pharmacy education than where i live in. I’ve been wondering why would he sit in a site such as chatroullete and search for a virtual relationship – i mean he is so handsome and everything ab his appearance is just … i bet he could hv any girl he wants. When i asked him he said he doesnt usually visits this site but he decided to do it those night and found me. Also he said sure there are pretty girls around him but he is just not that interested. Well i cannot speak for him, but my reasons for being in this site ( actually i ve never really expected a relationship) are: i was bored, i was working this summer and didnt hv much time , i had and still hv some personal issues such as financial problems which leads to many other problems and makes dating life pretty hard and i was finally happy sb knew my problems and didnt become distant. But i ve never really asked myself if there is sth wrong with him. He even has a family photo on his fb account, photos with friends, posts ab going to a cafe , etc. – if it makes him more realistic.

Thanks, SthrnBelle! :) I know it sounds stupid but i thought it couldnt have been fake – i mean we cammed through skype and he couldnt help smiling while during staring at me, i couldnt imagine sb could fake this kind of reactions. Well, i ve spent hours camming with him through skype and i am sure how he looks, but yeah there is no apparent reason why he doesn’t ? have a gf in real life. As i said, he is pretty handsome, charming, with wonderful sense of humour.
As Hannah said if a guy wants you he will txt more than twice a month.
I ve been there, i ve both worked and studied at the same time. I know what it feels like sleeping for like 4 hours for months. But this cant be excuse for not answering while being online. I told him today this gets me a little bit frustrated, and that i cant imagine how he could ignore my messages bc i personally get pretty excited when he texts me and can’t just ignore it. Guess what? He seen-ed it? Now that should be a signal, shouldn’t it?

Vicki yes you have a point about saying you know what he looks like if you webcammed but everything else, well, we have no idea. Certainly yes if he is interested in you, he will connect more. My LD BF and I talk several times a day and we lead busy lives as well, sure in the beginning sometimes there was a break of a day or two especially when we were uncertain but twice a month, well, that is not interest or love. And if you initiate and he does not respond, you got everything you need to know. Please run as fast as you can.

Listen I know that my cheater ex fiancee never used to have pix of his live-in girlfriend on his FB. He also never introduced her to anyone in his life. He hunted for younger girls on dating sites and when they checked his FB everything was clear. This was how I met him too and simply had no clue even though we met as well. He was able to have meetings weekends too despite a 7 year long companionship with someone else. After we ended things and he took this girlfriend back, he got caught on FB. Girlfriend tagged him on photos and some new girls he was hunting for caught him. But many times these people are experts at their game and this guy you know may just want some fun of penpalship over the net.

Drop him fast if he has not already dropped you. Surely in the new area you will meet nice guys that are for real. Take it as a lesson learnt.

Thanks, girls!
SthrnBelle, i havent thought from that perspective. Whenever i told my friends or mum, they all said what if he isnt honest? And i was like: how he couldnt be? he is so cuute and his adorable smile, and i even caught him smiling while staring at me, these reactions cant be fake! And now i understood .. there is no other explanation why he ignores, i just still can’t get why does he do this? i guess he is just a player and this brings him pleasure ?! and yeah you could be right – that is a sign of serious disorders. Thanks, sweety! I am so excited and i do hope i meet interesting guys next year hih :)
M, that was pretty sad, hun. I guess that is a lesson we should mind. And yeah, i am sensitive – i cannot just hv fun with him bc he always calls me his girlfriend and txt me he loves me so he does seem serious when saying it. However, i will just leave him in his own nets.