- This topic has 26 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
.
-
Hi Dani, I noticed your post where you felt gaslighted or judged unfairly. I just wanted to hop in here and make a few comments about that. Even though you were addressing Lane in particular, what I’m about to say here isn’t about Lane or anyone specific. (I’m also not here to reprimand or shut anything down!)
We have many people in this forum community who share their opinions based on their very personal life experiences. Some persons write in-depth essays about how they feel. Others will write short, pointed one sentence posts. Some posts are very gentle, and others are snarky or extremely blunt. The experiences they share come from extremely different viewpoints. Their reasons for even bothering to post on this forum are all different, too. That diversity is a strength of this community.
Despite the differences, I think our frequently-contributing community members all share their experiences and opinions with genuine sincerity. The collective goal is to help people in need find clarity and be uplifted, not torn-down. Sometimes, their own experiences and posting style may not match particularly well to some poster’s needs, but that is okay. Different advice and different communication styles work for different people. We certainly don’t have a scoreboard that’s keeping track of these things; we let each individual’s advice in each thread speak for itself.
The persons in this forum who seemed only to drive an agenda or use it for their own entertainment at the expense of others are no longer posting here.
Anyway, Dani, I’m sorry if you felt chafed, but do know that I really believe everyone here wants to share advice that they sincerely believe is helpful. I’m not saying “oh but you should listen to Lane or whomever!” – I’m just saying, I don’t think Lane or anyone else is trying to intentionally steer you the wrong way.
The other reason I wanted to step-in and mention that is because this thread has an aura of a forest with a lot of dry tinder strewn-about. Everyone, be careful about lighting matches! ;) All of you in our forum community are pretty good about not flinging-around flaming material, but it’s just good practice to point out the No Smoking signs every few months.
[Seriously, though, I know folks have really different opinions about what’s helpful and what’s not, and I think the discussion is okay (or at least, not “bad”) even if it’s pointed or borderline frustrating. Hopefully my judgement is not in error, but if it is, maybe it’s a good topic for the Community Lounge. Just make sure this current topic stays focused on helping the OP and don’t let side-channel discussions spill into other threads. Again, I’m not targeting anyone specific with those comments.]
Back to Dani: My apologies for making a meta-comment on this thread without offering relationship advice to you. I do hope that overall you feel like you’re gaining clarity.
