Advice To Regain His Interest?


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  • #401687 Reply
    Selena

    In the beginning of the relationship, he chased me hard, and I made him work for it a little. He wrote poems for me, played guitar and sang for me, and he always wanted to talk and asked to do so before I could. We live 45 minutes away, but he made time to see me. Less than a month later, he is already not being romantic, he doesn’t text or call unless I do it first, and he cancelled our Valentine’s day plans to study for a test that he knew about for over a week, so he said he was sorry and promised he’d make it up to me, but he hasn’t even brought up rescheduling our plans yet. I know that saying “you should do this or that” doesn’t work, so I have avoided that, so I try encouraging him like “you know how you used to send good morning texts? That made me so happy and meant a lot to me” and it worked, he started sending good morning texts again and he was enthusiastic :D however, he doesn’t want to open up emotionally anymore, and when I have a bad day he just says “oh” and he doesn’t seem to enjoy our texting conversations anymore. He seems normal and happy to be with me when we Skype, but getting him to Skype is almost impossible now, and so I asked him about it gently, and he said sorry and that he promised we would Skype the next night, but the night he promised, he fell asleep before we could Skype… I have to say I am a good girlfriend, I am low maintenance, but he knows I don’t put up with crap, I am always enthusiastic about seeing him and talking to him, but I give him his space and even tell him that I’m glad he doesn’t text me when he’s with his friends. I do not act needy (at least I try), and when he’s having a hard time I comfort him (even though he doesn’t comfort me…) and I tell him that I appreciate him when he does something for me… what am I doing wrong? I really want this to work out but it seems like he is losing interest! I really need advice before I make more mistakes and ruin our chances of getting past this obstacle. Thank you so much!
    -Selena

    #401743 Reply
    FW

    Remember how he acted in the beginning of the relationship? Burn it into your mind! Understand that behavior as the signal a man wants you. If a man isn’t doing that, he doesn’t want you.
    It seems like he is losing interest. There is a chance he is just pulling back, but I don’t think so. Here’s a test to know for sure. Stop texting or calling him. It’s ok to respond if he calls or texts, but keep it short. If he wants you, he will blow up your phone, or try to make plans to see you ASAP.

    #401746 Reply
    Ashley

    He is losing interest for sure, I’m sorry I know how you feel. You aren’t doing anything “wrong” my guess is for whatever reason he’s bored. It could be he’s bored now that he got you. Don’t contact him anymore. Let him do all the work from now on

    #401824 Reply
    Stars

    This is beginning to sound like a one-sided relationship, he’s putting no more effort.

    I think he may be the type of guy who likes the ‘chase’…you playing hard to get in the beginning made him want you more. But then you fell for it and put your guard down and let him in. And then he realized he finally got you. And now it’s not that interesting any more. He doesnt have to work hard for your attention, you already give it to him willingly by being sweet to him and sending him texts to comfort him.

    He seems kinda immature/not the type of person who can be in a stable relationship. I also advise reducing contact with him. But in the end, do you really want to be with a guy who’s only interested in the chase and you cant really be yourself around him at risk of him losing interest? Be cautious.

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