Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Affair at work, need advice bad
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by
Lane.
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Rob
Me and a coworker were sleeping together for about a month, talking all the time about everything. She has been with her bf for 12 years and 2 kids. They have had problems before and I am the second person she has cheated on her man with. The rumors at work between us got too bad now she wants to make things work with her bf but I still like and have to work with her. I feel like I have lost a friend and now we can’t even talk
redcurleysue
This is why we don’t look to date where we work. First, have an honest conversation about how this is affecting work with the gossip and all. Then as you are getting her to agree she feels the pressure too ask her opinion on how to handle all this. Hopefully she will say to end the affair….if she does not then you bring it up as a option.
Rob
It’s weird recently our text have gotten more spaced out now but she will still text me. Just recently she told me was drunk and her body was numb after a day of no talking. I asked her what she was up to and now she hasn’t responded and now it’s a day later. Why still hit me up, don’t get me wrong I do want to talk to her but I’m trying to be strong and not text her until she hits me up
Anon
She’s still hitting you up occasionally bc it’s hard to just turn off feelings even though it’s the right thing to do. I’m sure at some level she wants to continue just as you do but is doing her best to stop. We’re all imperfect humans… Just stay the course and continue to try to disengage if you feel you need to end things.
Rob
Oh see I didn’t want end things cause we never had a bad time together and she agrees but I also feel like anything at work is of course is not happening and that’s a mutual decision. She wanted to end things all together and remain friends telling me this would have continued if people didn’t know about it. We have been texting as friends but I do still think about her and our fun times. I do want to text her cause I want to be in her life still. I feel like I’m just at her mercy cause I don’t want to keep texting her
kaye
Of course you never had a bad time together…it was only a MONTH!! Where did you see this going? Can you seriously imagine if she left her boyfriend and moved in with you with her 2 kids? Not to mention do you really want to be with a woman who has cheated on her boyfriend of 12 years TWICE when they have 2 kids together? Is that the kind of woman you want…one who you would always have to wonder if she’s faithful?
Take this for what it was…a fling. You don’t need to remain friends and keep texting as friends. That’s only asking for trouble. Don’t allow her to keep you on a string. You are single and eligible and need to move on to an available woman.
Rob
Harsh but fair. I kinda just wanted to continue what we were doing I wasn’t ready for it to end to fast. It is selfish of me but your right, I’m really in no position to expect anything
Lane
Visualize her going home and having sex with her BF, and then visualize them raising their kids together. That should help alleviate your need or desire to continue with her :o)
Stay away from workmances because the water cooler is never a good place to be the center topic of, especially if a round of *pink slips* comes. They pay you to work, not have affairs or romantically engage with co-workers on their time or dime. In the future, respect your employers, and above-all the employees who have to work there because your name is out there now, as is her’s; whereas your manager(s) and/or HR is watching these type of things and you don’t need nor want to have a target on your back.
Just keep work and romance separate, and stay away from taken people, that way you never have to worry about or deal with these situations :o)
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