Afraid I'm looking for something wrong

hi all. 25 and living in NYC and my dad died 3 months ago lol. I’ve been seeing a guy since September, before my dad died, and he has been insanely sweet and thoughtful. He has gotten me soup when I had the flu a month after my dad died. He has sent cookies to my apartment twice. He and I have had about 9 dates since September. I’ve been home a lot for the funeral, bereavement time, and the holidays and just recently my dad’s birthday passed which was hard. He has not pressured me at all with physical intimacy and I gave him an out when my dad died because its a lot but he said told me he just wants to be there for me however I see fit and wants to keep getting to know me. He’s been really great and something I am not used to when dating guys. I feel very comfortable around him and feel like I can be fully myself. We have only kissed. Nothing else.

I am worried I feel like something is missing. I have no urge for sex, or any type of physical intimacy with everything I’ve been through obviously and he has not been forcing it all. He’s been reading my cues very well. I don’t even feel comfortable to hold hands. He has not invited me back to his place yet. He has made suggestions that we are a couple and has told his friends and brother about me. We have Valentine’s Day plans. But I don’t feel butterflies when I see him. I freeze when he tells me he misses me. I absolutely just don’t know how to respond. I need to tell him I am not ready at all yet for physical intimacy and be very clear with him so he can make his own decision about all of this. He has also paid for every date. I feel like that episode in sex and the city when Carrie sees the engagement ring and throws up lol. I feel like I can’t just enjoy being treated well because I am unsure if this is actually going into a nice place because, of well, my own thinking. He is a breath of fresh air and of course something nice happens when my dad dies!! lol