After first date with ex

Are you still LDR? Are you still needy?

I wouldn’t do anything, you’re clearly hoping to fall straight back into a relationship, which isn’t usually a good idea when you’ve broken up.

Yes, still LDR, because of his job, he works away (Mainly Europe) it would always be the case

And no, I am not needy, I have, and am concentrated on my life/family/career

Most guys who want a second date and are looking for a relationship and see you as an option will reach out after a date. If you were receptive to the kiss, thanked him for the date, and were enthusiastic, this is pretty much all a relatively confident guy needs to make his next move.

You should be keeping your options open and doing other things, making other dates.

If it you really feel the need to reach out, it’s a one and done thing for me. If they don’t step up, just let it die out.

I see no need for any dance or games. He’s an ex you might try getting back together with. It’s not complicated and you shouldn’t be treating him like some new guy you had a first date with. I don’t understand how you can meet up with him and not have discussed the relationship and whether or not you want to attempt this again. That would be the logical discussion. His kiss doesn’t mean anything.

I would just call him and ask what his thoughts are after meeting up. Otherwise you are just wasting time and emotions.

However, if things haven’t really changed, and the distance is always there, I’m not sure why you would want to jump back into a situation that wasn’t working for you the first time.

TBH, I do not have an issue with LDR, and yes, I like this guy. I have dated a few local guys – but not found one I like.

If guys dont like LDR, what do forces/travelling sporty types do?

I’m with Kathy as its really up to the COUPLE to decide if its workable for them or not. My marriage of 20 years was quasi-LDR as he was in the military and deployed for months at a time (longest 9 months) plus TDY in-between lasting a couple days to a few weeks and I adapted to it just like many other spouses did—some could hack it but some could not.

My current LDR works for us because I can be super busy, overwhelmed at times running my business and don’t have the TIME to devote to a full-on relationship. My BF goes out to sea for three months at a time and picks up temporary work lasting a couple weeks to a month during his three months off where neither of us have been successful dating local people due to our jobs. I actually prefer an LDR over a day-to-day as I need a lot of space (alone time) so I get the best of both worlds—a man I love spending time with and time to myself too :o)

You said the reason it ended was because of your “neediness.” Exactly HOW were you needy? How often did you see each other? Its human nature to NEED your partner, especially if the distance has been longer than normal or something’s going on in your life and need a rock (partner) to lean on in difficult times. You also said you were OK with the distance but it doesn’t sound like you are and possibly settling because you obviously love him but he’s not able to meet your wants or needs in a relationship. I do agree that you have to ‘close the gap’ at some point where the distance shouldn’t exceed the bulk of your relationship if you intend to build a future together. Did he even want that with you?

You can’t jump back into something if the issues or problems that led to the breakup are still there. What were the specific reasons for the breakup? If those reasons can’t be resolved then it will just end up in another breakup if the TWO (key word) of you can’t work or figure them out if you attempt to try again. Just know that ‘do overs’ have an abysmal success rate (less than 20%) because the issues/problems that resulted in the break up can’t be fully resolved.