after how many dates does a guy decide to have a serious relationshp?

Funny how this thread has been going for years, and things are changing during this time. I’m in my mid 30s, and a guy. Just started seeing someone I really like; we have not slept together but she is coming over to my house for a date after we recently had a serious makeout session, so I expect we will soon.

I just thought I’d share my thoughts as a pretty normal dude that someone might be dating. I have tended to try and be exclusive quickly (4-5 dates or like a month), but have eased off that the older I’ve gotten.

It really depends on what is going on; these days I work a lot and don’t socialize near as much as I used to, so meeting new, attractive women is relatively rare. If I have no options, I am probably putting a lot of energy into online dating and socializing to meet people; but if I am seeing someone.. even if it’s not exclusive, I (and this is probably pretty variable among men) typically am not seeing anyone else.

That’s not always the case though. When I’ve been dating multiple women at the same time, always at least one of them will want to be exlusive; usually in those cases its very obvious to me who I would choose if I had to “pick one” and I don’t have a hard time doing it.

So what I am saying ladies, is that after you are comfortable with each other, know each other sexually, there isn’t really a wrong time to wonder about being exclusive. The more options he has, the more you are going to have to make the case that you are the one worth choosing. It’s certainly okay to ask; but I agree with the others above that “pressuring” is not going to help; he will either readily accept/agree/ask-to be exclusive or its probably not in the cards right now.

For this girl I am dating now, my plan is to keep things ambiguous until/unless she brings up being exclusive, or I am reasonably sure she is a real contender for wife material. But assuming we keep having a good time, if she asks to be exclusive, and I haven’t met anyone else, I would almost certainly gladly agree.

Men crave sex and women crave relationships, both are disappointed!