Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Am I being ghosted or is he busy..
- This topic has 13 replies and was last updated 1 year, 11 months ago by
Tallspicy.
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Sarah
Hello all, usual post here.. met a guy on a dating app. Hit it off showered me up texts/ pictures of his day before our first date which was a few weeks after matching as I was out of the city.
Went on a date and hit it off! But texts started to be a little less frequent. I brought it up on our next date and he was oblivious – he also had planned a weekend away and said I should meet his family before Christmas. I felt amazing!!
Next day a few messages exchanged and now NOTHING he hasn’t even opened my last message (it has been 4 days)
Advice on bringing this up and asking what’s wrong, or is this too clingy? Or wait it out and move on..
I know it was intense in the beginning but everything apart from his new texting habits align. Guts telling me I’m over reacting
Amber
I’m sorry but it’s possible you’re being ghosted. To talk about meeting families after only one date is too much, too soon. Also, bringing up with him as to why he he’s slowed down his communication is also a bit intense this early on. These are the kind of conversations you have with a guy after a few months of solid dating and being exclusive.
I’m sorry for being a bit blunt, but that’s the way it is. Forget about this guy! See it as a learning curve for your next date.
Good luck xx
Maddie
Telling you after 2 dates that you should rush to go away with him and to meet his family but then ignoring you for days on end is not aligned or consistent behavior. He sounds a little love bomb-y, to be honest. Started off showering you with attention and future-faking rushed intimacy, which all made you feel amazing, without showing any actual follow through. You already said something about how you felt and he was “oblivious”… which means he dismissed your concerns without taking them seriously or addressing them, but kept you on the hook by talking about a vacation and meeting family. There’s enough red flags here that I agree with Amber that you should just forget this guy. But at the very least, I’d stop taking the lead or initiating, not close myself off to other dating options, and move on totally if his behavior continues to be like this or if he never reaches back out.
Raven
You don’t call the guys behavior out, You let it & him go…
mama
On one hand…Exactly what Raven said. Also, my guess is he doesn’t want to invest time in someone who calls him out over minor things. If this is how you are on date 2… it’s not a good look.
On the other… it sounds a bit like love bombing.
Tallspicy
Oh honey… this is going to sting….it felt great on the second date that he wanted you to meet his family at Christmas? Red red red flag. You brought up that his texting was slowing with a man you met once? Where do I even start… usually with anxious attachment… please read up on it. You are both red flags to healthy people. Healthy people don’t rush, healthy people don’t call out… they walk away. Healthy people do not confuse disregulated emotional states for attraction.
Healthy dating is low and slow like planting a garden or making bbq….It is not like a hot flashing pan.
tammy
if a man talks about meeting friends and family or going on holidays after a second date something is not right. I remember some months back I had gone on a date with this guy. the meeting went well. but towards the end he kept insisting I go to his house for a nightcap which I declined. not just that he bombarded me with messages next day and asked me to join him for a work trip for which he was planning to go in the next 2/3 days. I just didn’t understand, and it felt quite weird. he was so over the top with his messages and how great I was. I tried turning him down politely but when he didn’t get the hint, I just told him to cool it off and take it slow. he disappeared post that! the evening went well. but he ruined things but acting desperate! in a way that was good since I didn’t end up wasting any time on that despo.
Lane
When one starts out with “usual post” then you already know the answer you seek. He is just another flowery dude who starts out hot then blows cold. Those are the type of guys you need to be on HIGH ALERT with, and don’t believe 5% of what they say until a FEW MONTHS have passed and they are begging you to be in a relationship with them–if not, RUN. Set your bar about 5 notches higher so you don’t fall into the same trap so many ladies do today. Stand out from that pack, not join them.
olivia turner
I think that something is wrong if a man speaks about seeing friends and relatives or going on vacation after the second date. I recall going on a date with this man a few months ago.
Erin
I met a cool guy online early December 2022. We started texting daily up until his friend came to stay for the holidays. Im keeping busy with family and friends and other distractions. I sent a Merry Christmas text and a cute pic of me dressed up. Then said I hope you have a great Christmas with your friends and family. I left alone for a couple days and haven’t heard anything from him. I don’t text him as he works and has his friend there currently so I’m giving space as much as I can. I’m sending a Happy New Year text or a text that says Heyyyy Happy New Year! After the New Year I’m deleting his number if I don’t hear from him. Not sending texts to men who aren’t interested in me. We were planning a first date after the New Year but I doubt we will go out now as he probably lost interest.
Raven
@Erin, Why would text this guy Happy New Year?
Tallspicy
You have never met this man. You should not be initiating anything much at this point. If you reached out at Xmas and he did not respond, you should assume it is over at worst and he is busy at unlikely best. you already initiated and he is not being responsive, so I suggest you do nothing and go about your life. One reach out is fine. More than that and you are chasing
tammy
Please just delete his number and do not send NY greetings. you did at xmas and he dint even bother greeting you back. that’s your cue to step back. just delete his number and forget about him. in case he is interested, he will revert as promised after NY. Till then do not send any texts.
Tallspicy
I also noted hou said you were keeping busy and other distractions. You do know he is the distraction to your otherwise busy life right. Your life is not the distraction? And you are giving him space? You have never met this man so all there is space. Your life is your focus. Keep it that way. You are not giving him space. He is not part of your life yet. He needs no space in your mind.
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