Am I being paranoid?

How often are you seeing him in person? Have his texts decreased as seeing each other has increased over the 2 months? If you’re seeing each other more, it’s probably fine.

You can also tell him that you appreciate when he gets back to you the same day even if it’s not immediately. If he responds negatively (meaning he makes you feel needy for communicating your needs), that tells you a lot about the kind of boyfriend he’d be and you should second-guess whether or not YOU are interested in someone like HIM at that point. If he says something like he just isn’t a good texter, then you can discuss together what communication habits and expectations would make you both happy.

So take a step back & do way less initiating…

We also have discussed texting habits and last time we talked about how it goes both ways. I told him I didn’t want to bother him during work and he said he didn’t either which is why he texts me a little later in the day. And it goes both ways as he said. To shoot him a Hi and he’ll respond. Just seemingly this weekend it seemed weird he seemed less enthused and I haven’t seen him in 4 days since I was out of town. But before he was wanting to see me right away as I returned wanting to make plans but hasn’t yet and I only have 4 more days in the area before I won’t see him. So I am a little worried he’s rethinking this

Erin if you think he is changing his mind because he won’t see you for 2 weeks because of his holidays and you being away then why would you even want to date this man? If he can’t keep his enthusiasm for another 2 weeks then what is the point ?
I have dated guys before who were actually waiting for me to go on holiday so they could ‘break up’ with me, sounds harsh but it happened to me on so many occasions…

Hi Erin, my namesake!

It appears you’re initiating too much than you should.

Take a step back and let him do the initiating.

The problem with always initiating with a man you’re still getting to know is that you’re doing his job for him.

A man who wants to date you should be curious about you enough to initiate most of the time.

You also end up carrying the weight of the conversations alone.

It’s been my experience that you don’t hear from such men the moment you stop initiating.

Step back and watch what he does. If he is still seeing you and going out for dates with you, no need to be so panicky about the texting part.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I am going to start to pull back more and see what happens.

@Ewa to your point – that’s what I am saying I obviously don’t want to date him if he’s not interested in seeing me just because our lives our busy, but to me that’s a ridiculous and lame reason to do so. As in you can’t even wait or just see what happens as the relationship should progress.

-He usually texts me back in a timely manner and before this news of not seeing each other things texting wise seemed good (we had small conversations and texted when we planned dates)
-So not sure if this weekend was just a lot going on and his mind was elsewhere or it’s something else. I do want to express my concern as I stated. I’m just having trouble adjusting to this norm of texting culture. I don’t remember worrying so much from my previous relationship which lasted 9 years…
-I just think we shuld be progresssing and maybe it’s not meant to be if I already feel this way?

Also with initiating I don’t do it as much maybe a couple times here and there. Usually he reaches out to me first or we have a day where I don’t hear from him and I dont even initiate. I always text with a purpose either asking about his weekend. To be clear, I get it now I don’t need to text stupid things or have back and forth conversations or long ones like we used to in the early stages, I am truly curious because like I have stated 9 years ago I don’t remember eveyrone analyzing texts and here I am doing that. I don’t remember the initial stages so maybe I am being to needy?

I don’t think there is a need to analyze texts to death Erin. I think when a person is clear about their communication there is no little need to do that.

I had an ex who was bad at texting, but he called everyday. When we were not on our phones we were seeing each other.

So I think when things are great communication is always clear.

Like Ewa said, maybe your intention is telling you everything is not as it seems.

Thanks all for your input. It really is appreciated. He texted me back and we made plans for later this week. I wish to discuss it all then and see where it goes. Once again thank you for taking the time and staying with me as I go through this.