Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Am I getting played
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 4 years ago by
mama.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Vicky
I was wondering if you can give me some advice on my current situation…this guy and I matched on Tinder about 2 months ago. He’s a cancer😬, he just got out of marriage earlier this year and he’s now going through a hard time with his ex trying to sabotage his life😬😬. He was originally pretty dry with me(even stood me up twice). I told him I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt cuz of what he’s been going through but i just needed him to communicate with me. After that something kind of flipped and he started showing me more attention. After the second time we hung out he started getting more serious and telling me about some deeply personal things in life. He is a gentleman and he’s shown me he’s not just in it for the sex. He told me he wanted a relationship in the future and that everything felt right with me and I told him I felt the same. We even talked about us having kids, meeting each others folks, and going on trips together The red 🚩’s 1. His texting has lessened some 2. He goes hrs without responding sometimes(always apologizes tho) 3. He asks to link but cancels sometimes 4. Still talks about his ex(but I still mention mines too) 5. Hasn’t spent a dime on me because he lost his job 6. Still talks to other girls im pretty sure(he gets jealous but tells me I can do what I want since we’re not cuffed yet 7. Ive only meet one high school friend(he’s meet my closest friends already) I just can’t tell if I’m getting played again or not pls help what do I do with this guy….sorry about the book🤦🏽♀️
Andrea
You are playing yourself, because you keep going after a man who clearly isn’t interested in you.
Tallspicy
Omg. What is interesting is that your red flags are symptoms of the other red flags, not the even red flags themselves. This is on you if you entertain this hot mess. How many times does he need to blow you off?
Liz Lemon
The red flags are: 1. He just “got out of marriage” earlier this year (is he actually divorced? Or just separated?) 2. He stood you up twice before you even met. 3. You’ve known him 2 months and he’s talking about having kids (when he hasn’t even spent any money to take you out apparently?). This is called future faking, look it up.
Like Tallspicy said, the red flags you list are just symptoms of the real red flags.
He has drama with his ex & doesn’t have a job, so he needs to get his life together. He’s inconsistent and blows you off. You’re wasting your time with this guy, he is not relationship material. This mess shouldn’t even be appealing to you.
Elvira
Totally agree with the others…this is not a good start the fact he canceled 2 dates and is going through a separation is enough to make any woman run. I think you need to see this for what it is and that this man is not a good candidate for any relationship with you. Please go back on Tinder and swipe on someone else with less drama/baggage!
mama
I think you should stay away from Tinder. You sound like a very nice person. Very nice people who have difficulty defining healthy boundaries tend to get treated like doormats when it comes to online dating and that’s exactly what this guy is doing to you. You aren’t going to win any medals or appreciation awards for being a doormat.
You wanted to know what to do with this guy? Block him. Don’t talk to him, don’t respond or reach out. It appears that he has a way with his words when it comes to you — he’s figured out how to get his needs met through you and without any sort of need to follow through. You sound like you want something else — something like a relationship. This guy is not relationship material, especially right now. Maybe when he’s divorced, has a job, stops using you as a booty call… and probably a couple years of therapy under his belt. THEN he *might* be someone to consider adding to your dating pool.
This guy is a no-win situation for you. Walk away with your dignity before he drags you through his emotional messiness and find a guy who actually is decent.
-
AuthorPosts
