Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Am I just rubbish at it ?
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 4 years, 1 month ago by
Lane.
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Dee
Hiya all,
Hope everyone is doing well.
I have not posted here for very long time.
I will really appreciate your input on this.Last night my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I was really feeling him and wanted to give him BJ.
As I started, I was really enjoying doing it, I was getting really turned on myself and I don’t remember ever enjoying BJ this much.
But it went on a 2/3 mins and the guy takes his P out off my mouth and tried to engage sexual intercourse.
I got really shook, I felt coldness, embarrassment, rejected that I stop the interaction.
I covered myself and went to lie-down, I felt so overwhelmed, my head started to run with so many reasons why he stop me.It never happened to me before, I know I am really bad at BJ and normally he just accepts whatever I give – however long – sometimes it just seconds. But last night was really nice.
Then we cuddled and he didn’t say anything.
He is not much of a talker.
I waited at least for 10 mins until I stop being so nervous and embarrassed and I asked him why he stop me.He says “oh I was just taking my vest off and was just getting comfortable.
I want to believe him but we lying back, he could have taken his vest off instead of his hands removing his P out my mouth. (
Sorry I know that sounds explicit) but that’s exactly what he did. And he did that to get more comfortable?
It just doesn’t make sense to me.
I pushed him further to tell me.
But nothing.I feel I was hurting him, or I was just too crap and boring that he did not want me to continue and he was not enjoying it at all.
Although he was hard.
I pressed him more to be honest with me and whatever the reason I am okay with it, I just wanna know.
He said “you did nothing wrong and it was nice actually and sorry that he ruined the moment”.I want to believe him but I just can’t shake off the feeling that he is just being nice and does not want to hurt my feelings.
And his reason doesn’t seem to make sense to me.
Could I be wrong.Shall I ask him again.
Can his reasoning be plausible?
Do men stop BJ if the BJ sucks?
And am I that bad – (oh I know I am what I’m doing – who am I kidding :(
I can’t stop feeling so embarrassed, I felted rejected.Thank you for your time and I appreciate anyone input.
XPeggy
Dee,honestly I think you are being ridiculous.I have seen posts from you before and you come off as insecure, very needy and a little crazy…stop overthinking. Therapy and activities and projects/hobbies outside having a boyfriend would do wonders for you.
Dee
Hiya
Peggy , I remember you.
Glad you’re well.
Thank you for your input.I just don’t understand what makes you say that.
You didn’t even try to answer my question, instead you just insulted me 😏Newbie
I also think you are way overthinking this. First:
1 Yes men can stop bj’s to go to the holy grail before they finish. So think this was more about doing you a favour too.
2 he actually said you dod nothing wrong
3 you were enjoying himself and he just changed position.
4 if you do talk to him, and you think you are bad at oral, just ask what works for him. Its really that simpleDee
Hiya Newbie thank you.
I would understand it if he said he was changing positions.
But he didn’t say that – he said he was taking his vest off.
And I did try to speak to him about it, I just feel like he is not telling me the real reason, sometimes he overly considerate of not hurting people’s feelings so he would avoid as much possible.Lane
Seriously? Next time wait until he’s fully unclothed before initiating a BJ…problem solved :o)
I also believe you are taking this the wrong way and should just accept what he told you at face value—makes life easier and less messier that way.
Liz Lemon
Is this a new boyfriend that you don’t have much experience with? If this is a guy you’ve been with for awhile (and been sexually active with), you should be better about communicating what you need/want/like in bed. I understand people can be shy or hesitant with a new partner. But with an established boyfriend that you’ve been intimate with for awhile, I don’t see why you can’t just talk about what you want, or like, or don’t like in bed. That’s part of being in a serious, committed relationship. And yes, take what he says at face value. You will just drive yourself crazy if you assume he’s lying or hiding something.
Dee
Hiya Liz Lemon and Lane.
Thank you.Liz yes it is long term relationship, we are normally very happy with each other, we are still are , neither of us had any problems with that aspect of our relationship.
He is good attentive and loving and I think I am too so we are very compatible I believe.
I know he likes whenever I give him BJ but normally it is very short. I give up very easily, I would say I am lacking the skills to give a good BJ but he never complained Or showed me any disappointment expect this Incident and knocked my confidence even more.It is just this one
Lane
Watch some porn. It may help you find better ways to give him pleasure?
Also, sometimes you can hit the wrong spot that is uncomfortable for a man but he will usually respond with something like “not so hard” or “watch the teeth” or something along those lines to let you know. If he’s not saying anything like that, then he’s enjoying it where I do think he was trying to enjoy it but the vest was uncomfortable, was distracting him, so he removed it. If you wanted to continue, then you should have just pushed him back down when the vest was off and continued on by saying “I’m enjoying this too much, let’s continue” instead of pouting or getting all weird about it. Take control girl.
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