Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › am i overreacting, or is he being mean?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 3 years, 10 months ago by
tammy.
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Winnie
So my boyfriend and I are kind of long distance. We only live about an hour away, but we are both occupied with school and have a tight schedule, so we only get to see each other maybe once or twice a month. We have been this way for months and we’ve been fine, but texting and calling is obviously our prime mode of communication. Yesterday, his phone was acting weird and wasn’t sending him notifications that I had texted him. Today, it seemed to be working fine, at least, he was responding to my messages pretty quickly. Then I didn’t hear a word from him for about an hour. I was fine with that, as I assumed his phone was acting up again, so I sent him a joking text that every hour I would text him so he wouldn’t miss a text. Well I still received no word from him, and that is when I open tiktok to 30 notifications from him, spanning over the course of 20 minyres. That mean he had some free time and wasn’t responding to my text. So I sent him another text that said “hey! i think your phone notifications are still broken.” Mind you, we constantly text all the time. We normally don’t go more than 10 minutes without texting, which is why I thought this was odd of him. He finally answers me three hours later, and was automatically pissy, saying sorry that he didn’t know he had to be up my ass all the time. I explained I was just confused as to why he had the time to send me tiktoks but not text me, as we had been in the middle of the conversation. Did I put too much thought into it?
Winnie
Here is a quick update: I am explaining to him that I didn’t understand why he could send me tiktoks but not shoot a text my way, and he is just saying I am bitching at him and that he doesn’t understand why I am upset in the slightest.
Anon
Yes you are very much over reacting. Texting every 10 minutes is a lot and maybe that’s what you guys do. However, to tell him you will be texting every hour is checking up on him and controlling. I understand why he’s upset. Stop with your phone and do something else. Let him come to you as I’m sure he’s annoyed now.
Raven
OMG, you text each other every 10 minutes?!
How do you get any thing done?I’m guessing you’re still in HS…
T from NY
One hour is not long distance and only seeing each other once or twice a month when you live within driving distance means someone is not all in
Never monitor a boyfriends phone use unless they are acting sketch af. Nothing good comes from it
This is so much dramaTallspicy
100% agree with your boyfriend. Grow up
Persephone
Agree that you’re being extra. It’s okay for you to wonder what is going on if he does something out of pattern. However, he was just using TikTok, not out flirting or banging other women. But if you keep putting the pressure on him, he will feel like he’s getting blamed for doing something wrong. And that may
Push him to test boundaries more.Here’s how I’d proceed IN A PHONE CALL, “You know what- you’re right. I should not have said anything to you about you not texting. It was out of our usual texting pattern and my mind started to worry. But it’s clear that all is well, so carry on!” And then let it go. And chill out.
I also agree that 1hr away isn’t long distance, and that there’s a reason you’re not seeing each other more (e.g. he’s not as into you). My husband used to live an hour away when we were dating and even with three kids between us, we still saw each other 4-5 times per week. I’d start observing to see if he’s as into you as you think.
tammy
grow up and give each other some space. if you keep this up, he would feel smothered and cut off. find other interests, new hobbies, take up some activities, hang out with friends. just try living away from ur phone.
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