Home › Forums › Texting Advice › Am I reading too much into his texting habits?
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 4 years, 5 months ago by
Lane.
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Ana
I met a guy online right when lockdowns started. We kept in touch.. however not very often. Over the two months a week or two would go by and one of us would reach out… it would never be more than 5 messages max back and forth.
Last week, we finally were able to meet. It went well, he texted me the next day and we made plans to see eachother the next Wednesday. During this time, the only communication we had was the day before confirming the meet up. The date went well and we ended up sleeping together. No regrets there, at all.
I texted him a day and half later saying I had a great time and want to see him again. He replied he thought the same thing and meant to text me the day before and we should meet up the following week.
We have also spoken about how too much texting is annoying and would rather just call.
I haven’t heard from him in a few days… but I guess in my mind if he was interested he would be texting me a bit more often…. am I just reading too much into nothingpeggy
Hi Ana. If you have a firm date planned, then texting in between meeting is not that important. However he should have contacted you after sex-the next day. He didn’t and you ended up contacting him. Not a good sign. Do not contact him again. Wait and see what he does,look at his actions,not texts or empty promises.
Lane
It sounds like you got a case of the “oxytocin rush” and now expect something from him because you gave him some sexy time. Just know you cannot sex a man into a relationship! Men don’t get a hormonal rush like woman do. Nope, he’s feeling nothing, if anything, you resolved his horny problem so he sees no reason to contact you because he’s no longer horny. Sure, he’ll ‘pop in’ when he’s horny again because he knows you’ll be down for some sex.
This is a YOU problem, not a he problem. It really is man v. woman. A man wants sex and the woman wants a man’s heart. If you give him the sex then he wins. If you wait until he gives you his heart, then you win. Just know its very very very rare that an ONS (one night stand with a stranger) will evolve into anything meaningful…most will be a one and done; or an FWB/NSA if the lady is receiving “mixed signals” yet continues to interact with and/or entertain a man. Mixed signals is not a green light to proceed but a yellow light warning her that the light is going to turn RED and she should stop before he pulls the fade, or disappears from her life swiftly, and suddenly.
The YOU problem is that you don’t stand out from the pack. You are not unique or different from most of the other ladies he’s met, talked to, briefly dated, or had some sexy time with. Trust me, within 10 seconds of meeting you he knew it wasn’t going anywhere. How do I know? Because men’s brains are wired and operate very differently than ours does. Women have a very different set of criteria than men do when it comes to attraction, whereas physical attraction will get you a date, or two, and a roll in the hay but *emotional attraction* will get you the relationship.
What is emotional attraction? I call it the *it factor.* Its often intangible, something he may not be able to put a finger on but he’s *naturally* (key word) drawn/compelled to be around her. This is when a man will make sure he keeps YOU on his radar, whereas you don’t have to do a darn thing but show up, and be yourself, when HE (key word) does the initiating and inviting (not you), even if you haven’t had sex. If a man isn’t asking you out and above-all doing everything to let you know you’re on his mind, all the time, and goes out of his way to “make you happy” then you walk away.
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