Am I unreasonable to be so upset by this?

I am divorced and a mum to two adopted children. My ex and I had a fantastic relationship but infertility and years of IVF destroyed us. Our two adopted children have been incredibly hard work – lots of extreme behaviour and violence. It’s been a very rough road.

Following my divorce I started a friendship/relationship with a younger guy. We used to talk and go on nice dates but there was always an understanding that we could not be together long term. We were really open about this and used to talk about it. We just got on so well though and although we did have sex the main aspect of our relationship was friendship and chatting.

After about 18months we ended it as his contact seemed to be tailing off and I thought he was getting anxious about meeting someone long term He is from an Asian background and had huge pressure on him to settle down and have a family. We agreed to remain great friends but whenever I contacted him he was off hand and short. I just could not understand it and it hurt so much. I eventually called him up after 6 months of this. It turns out he had met someone and they got pregnant together on their third date about a month after we finished.

I know technically he did nothing wrong but the ignoring me was hard and it has also triggered all my infertility stuff and the losses I experienced. Now that he has told me he wants to keep in touch and says that she is nothing like me and that I am just so fantastic and he regrets not talking to me and now wants us to be friends like we were. I am tempted but I just don’t think I can face it. I think it will just cause me pain. He has sent me several long emails telling me how great he thinks I am and that he never meant to hurt me.

I have ignored them and gone no contact. I miss him and I am so jealous of the ease at which they have had a child. I think my pain is more about that than anything else. I don’t know. I just want to move on.