ANM Email, The Inner World of Men Part 2

Ann, I agree that you seem to be seeking validation outside yourself, and from these men.

You really need to calm down. Yes, if a guy is telling you they are too busy for a relationship and that IS what you are seeking…. you walk.

And you should have this conversation up front to limit the amount of time you waste.

Who knows what these guys were thinking. What is troubling is how much focus and importance YOU ARE PUTTING on what they do or don’t feel.

You shouldn’t be hoping they pick you, you should be observing to determine if they warrant more of YOUR time.

A guy who is “too busy” is usually a bad bet. They are warning you up front.

I think this is really more about some self confidence issues than anything else. The fact you need everyone to validate they were interested in you screams of insecurity. Sorry.

Dating should be fun, set and keep your standards, and enjoy getting to know guys. Don’t rush things, get ahead of them emotionally, or invest in them before (or more) than they invest in you. Just relax and enjoy yourself. Get rid of guys who are flaky, inconsistent, disrespectful, or exhibit any characteristics that are deal breakers for you. Be confident, relaxed and sit back. If you aren’t in a place to do that, take a break from dating to focus on you before you get back out there.

Thank you!

I feel a lot better, thanks everyone for the help-I think the 100% friendzone idea is what I need to do going forward. Thanks again, all of the advice is greatly appreciated!