Another conoravirus situation

I don’t wanna offer him that because I don’t know if he’s interested enough on me for that.

“I don’t wanna offer him that because I don’t know if he’s interested enough on me for that.”

But you’re texting him?

What if his roommate is sick?
Do you want an exposure?

I know this is cynical, but a few weeks ago, I typed that we were going to see guys use COVID-19 as an excuse for everything from not communicating with you (see the post from the girl who didn’t hear from a guy for a few weeks and when she did, he claimed to have been in the hospital with COVID-19) to breaking off a date (“My roommate has a fever and a cough and I’m not sure what to do about coming over.”).

I’d be willing to lay odds that he had decided to set up a date with another girl and used the “coughing roommate” excuse to break his date with you and still keep stringing you along in case he loses interest in the new(er) girl.

You’ve seen him four times. Unless you went out gunning for him, your reaction seems over the top to me. You aren’t even going to get physically addicted to Oxycontin by taking it once a week for four weeks. The synapses in your brain haven’t had time to become rewired.

The same can be said for a relationship with a guy: You can talk yourself into a psychological addiction, but you haven’t been exposed to him enough to KNOW if you really like him; you appear to have persuaded yourself that he’s worth all the energy and angst you’re putting towards being with him when in reality you simply have the hots for him.

I’m sorry if I come off as mean. That’s not my intention. I just hate to see you torture yourself like this. If you can truly enjoy whatever time he chooses to share with you, go for it. Otherwise, I’d advise you to back off and get your emotions under control.

Go back and read some of Tallspicy’s “Zero f*cks” dating philosophy. It’s the perfect one to adopt when the guy hasn’t fully committed to you.

(And try to enjoy this time in your life – when it’s gone, it will never come again.)

I just saw your post that the roommate’s “fever” lasted only one night – and that was the night you had plans. Imagine that!

Where can I find tallspices zero f*ck?

Hi everybody! For the record I am dating for real and I want a long-term relationship and I still follow the zero f$cks rule. The 0 f$cks rule is simple:

Any man who is not your boyfriend does not matter. And you should even consider it with a boyfriend. So, you simply let a man lead, you warmly responsively react to his reaching out, and if he disappears or you make a mistake, it simply does not matter. This does not mean being cold or play hard to get. It simply means when you are dating, you have no idea what is going on with someone so you do not over invest in someone you are not in an actual relationship. This way if they disappear, you are not crushed. Also, you realize that much is not in your control so you don’t beat yourself up if they go away, you stay in mild disappointment, which is more appropriate. You should only focus on bringing your best you and you decide that. Not him.

Thank you all. You’re all so right.
It will be a little weird when we come back to school though because we are gonna see each other every single day (same group of friends, same major, same everything). I’m thankful we didn’t have sex or things would be even more awkward. I know he will treat me normal because he has a bubbly personality, but I hope my feelings for him doesn’t come back.
I hate so much what I become when I have a crush on someone. I’m hopeless romantic and don’t know how to be other way :( and of course I end up hurt lol

I hate how he’s not totally ghosting though. Why does he keep reaching out if he’s not interested? That confuses me.

But I’ll try everything I can to adapt the zero f*cks!

Would you feel better if you had sex & then he disappeared?!

Awesome! I’ll keep reading this everytime I wanna think about him and the good moments we had.
I’m not just saying it, it does feel good to have someone to put sense in my mind.

Today was the first day in 12 days that he hasn’t texted me (and neither did I or posted anything on my ig stories to avoid him answering it). I know you guys want me to understand he is nothing to me, but I had a crush on him for three months. That kind of crush that you get butterflies when you see him. I already thought about him all the time even before going out with him. Then we went out for a month and things were so great. I really thought we were comfortable with each other but apparently that wasn’t enough for him. Even after he “canceled” the date he kept texting saying he couldn’t wait to see me again. And today he went blank.

I’ve been talking to guys on tinder today to get my mind off him and it worked for the whole day but now I’m sad again. I’m trying really hard to adopt the zero f*cks with him but it’s hard to do so when I was already “in love” with him.

I wish I could turn my emotions off.

OMG he just texted “how’s it going”.
I really wish tallspicy and Paige were here to tell me what to do. But I guess tallspicy mentioned to just be receptive and chill if he texts. Because it’s 10pm I’ll wait until tomorrow morning to reply.

My heart stopped for a moment when I read the text. I really wish I wasn’t too deep into this because I can feel this is gonna hurt so much if it doesn’t work out.

You were already in love with him? After 4 dates and 3 months of fantasy relationship based on nothing? Please please please see a therapist. You will keep having bad experiences until you work on you.