Anxiety caused by Covid?

I think pulling back, giving him his space and not taking it personal is the right strategy. 6 months is not that long and having you over for 5 days can feel a bit suffocated. I react like that and it has nothing to do with the other person. Its just hard because you Have to change things in your routine. So i would suggest just let it go.

I read over the calling 3 times. If thats true then ot looks like he lost interest. Take care. Sitting back is still the best strategy

Lockdown is making many people feel weird. People are under a lot of stress, and there’s a lot to be sad about – do you know if his family or friends are sick? If his job is at risk? If he’s at risk himself? I wonder if he’s getting a little depressed, or has some problems he is dealng with. If he engages, you can ask him how he’s feeling, and if there’s anything on his min – but you can’t force him to open up.

As Anon has said, it also accelerates things. The official guidance in the UK for couples (like me) who live apart was basically “you can’t see each other unless you test your relaitonship and move in together”. Now, moving in is certainly not a suitable course for every relationship at this moment. Until you’ve reached a point where you know each other well enough and feel at ease being together or talking for long periods of time, and can handle time apart (even if it’s together but doing other stuff) it can feel like too much, too soon. I personally think my BF and I are happier apart than if he rushed to move to my tiny flat and was cooped there without most of his stuff whilst i worked all day (essential worker, so I get to leave). Space is important in budding relationships. It sounds like you perhaps shouldn’t have stayed the whole 5 days if it became clear he was withdrawing and being moody – though he should have been hnest with you rather than acting childish.

If there’s a lockdown, don’t see each other til it’s over – being over for 5 days at his all of a sudden is pretty intense until both he and you are ready.

But yeah, if you’re not under lockdown, him not wanting to see you very often is not a good sign. And under lockdown or not, he should still be able to make time for a quick chat every day or two. How often is enough differs, but a BF of any number of months (let alone 6) shouldn’t be contacting you barely once a week. Especially not when he’s sitting at home.

Let him know you understand he needs space, and then let him contact you and take the lead. Don’t make any snap decisions until lockdown is lifted, if you can avoid it.

Yes space works if you really love someone and the relationship is meant to be. I think things happen for a reason and if you give it time and patience, you can see where this is going with your bf. If things don’t naturally increase with communication and seeing each other, then you will not want this and neither will he

Thank you all for your prompt responses, it is much appreciated.

He is impacted by Corona as he has sat at home (and worked) alone for 8 weeks and hasn’t seen anyone except for me. He also has issues as his dad died from the flu and he is worried about his mum (although luckily she is younger and healthy) and so I think that has also triggered him slightly. And he mentioned that he is frustrated and putting on weight and then feels guilty for eating but can’t stop so i think it’s a multitude of things (and not always thinking rationally). He said when we last met that he didn’t think it was me, because I hadn’t done anything but wasn’t sure however he didn’t want us to kick the other person out of our lives and that he hoped that time would help and that he hoped we work out. (To which I reciprocated).

We did used to talk at least every two days but since our discussion I have tried to give him some space to work his stuff out.

Thanks all for your comments….I guess only time will tell…

@river that sounds like a much healthier messaging/talking situation.

Lockdown is weird, and all these pandemic measures are really weird – as Liz has said we all have a lot of things to worry about, and none of us are feeling our usual selves. It’s a tough time for any relationship, but harder when you’re first starting out and have yet to build up that reserve of intimacy and history that means you know each other well enough to be at your most vulnerable. That’s not an insult to your relationship – I mean the kind of vulnerability you can share after years and years together. And even people in very established relationships are finding it hard.

Take things one step at a time :)