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- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
Jessica.
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Jessica
I’ve been seeing this guy (we met in college), for a month or so but due to quarantine we haven’t seen each other. He texts me everyday and is very engaged on my social media. But we only talk about what we are doing that day, funny things, how we are, how classes are going, etc…
I’m not sure where I stand with him so I wanted to ask this:
“Do you think we are still hanging out after quarantine? I’m asking because I obviously enjoyed having you around but I don’t know if we are still doing this or not. It’s alright if it’s not what you want, I just need to know.”
Do you all think this is a good idea or this would blow my chances with him?
Blair
Don’t think it’s a good idea tbh. Just keep talking and see how it goes. It’ll probably push him away a bit, especially during this pandemic.
Liz Lemon
My advice: This is not the time for any heavy “where is this going?” conversations. Especially over text! So I don’t think it’s a good idea at all. I understand your anxiety but you will have to accept that this is the way things are now. Your question comes off as almost a bit confrontational (I know you don’t intend to be, but it does sound that way). He can’t give you answers right now. You just have to wait and see.
If he’s texting every day and engaging you a lot, that’s a great sign. For now I would just focus on the present. Be responsive when he engages you. Be fun, interesting, and light– so that it’s a pleasure for him to text you. In other words, keep doing what you’re doing. And then when the quarantine is over, let him suggest that you two get together. I know it’s hard because you’ve basically had to put everything on pause, but I can guarantee if you start pressuring him for answers that he can’t give you right now, you’ll scare him off.
T from NY
Agree with the advice above. Remember men love women but they prize their freedom most of all. The only reason some men are willing to give it up (so to speak in being accountable to a woman for their movements) is the reward they get from being AROUND that women and the way she makes him FEEL. This guy is not able to do that or feel that with you right now because of the pandemic.
Also important – in this day and age — men’s attention spans are awfully short. That’s just a reality. You have to accept that the only relationships you’ll have going forward are men who are highly motivated to be in a coupledom or that are mad crazy for you. We all know that can take a very long time to find such a connection.
So my advice would be to actually pretend this guy does NOT exist as a potential romantic interest and just don’t give it a lot of energy. Enjoy when he reaches out – but pretend each interaction is just that — one interaction. Then move on. That way if he doesn’t have the stamina to follow through with in person meet ups when they are possible – you won’t be as disappointed or have unrealistic expectations.
This time period does SUCK for dating when it comes to longing to see someone. But it’s also AMAZING time to see how man courts you and to simultaneously spend your energy on working on your own life, pursuits and growth.
Jessica
Thank you all for the answers. You were all right.
I held my horses and didn’t say anything, he just texted me saying he wants to quarantine with me – well, going to each other’s house (we are in Seattle so dont worry, we are taking this very serious, we literally only go to the store once a week).I’m glad I didn’t say anything.
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